I’m gonna make a bold statement here:

Role playing is ESSENTIAL in any long-term, monogamous relationship.

And it’s just plain fun in any other situation.

Role playing allows us to live out our fantasies in a comfortable, safe situation, and adds some much needed variety to our sex lives. But as fun as it is to be someone else for a bit, it can also be really nerve-racking. We’re not all professional actors, and pretending to be someone else, especially when you’re naked and vulnerable, can be hard.

If you’ve never done it before, do it. And if you’re not sure how, here are my answers to a few questions you probably have:

Q. How do I tell my partner I want to role-play with seeming like I’m bored with him/her?

A. “I’ve always thought it would be really hot to sleep with a professor. Can I call you Dr. ______ tonight?” Most partners will be happy to help you fulfill your fantasies.

Q. What are some good role play scenarios to try?

A. Anything that turns you on. My favorites are situations where one person has to talk the other into sex because it’s “forbidden.” Something like teacher/student or boss/employee can be really hot, and you can alternate who does the convincing (i.e. naughty student or pervy professor). Read More »

Okay, so we all know that the “pros” have a thing or two to say about bettering our sex lives.  Cosmo’s always telling us to put his needs ahead of ours (or so it seems, right?) and now scientists are offering up their two cents and it’s too reminiscent of Chem Lab for my liking.  Also, I have ADD and zone out any time my favorite things become educational.

So instead of getting all brainy on a topic that should be anything but, I offer you a regular girl’s guide to bettering your sexual endeavors.  You will not be tested on this material (at least not in a Scantron sort of way), just print it out and hang it above your bed.

1. Speak Up

Don’t wait for him to ask you what feels good.  If he’s a mildly oblivious (aww, but well-meaning) college dude, chances are he’ll think he’s doing just fine so long as you both leave satisfied.  Problem is, “just fine” isn’t always what you’re looking for.  Help him shoot for the stars by being vocal about what feels fabulous and what leaves you a little bored.

2. Dress Up

Who says costumes are just for Halloween and frat mixers?  I know you’ve got a few choice outfits in that closet waiting for the next CEOs and Office Hoes party.  Break ‘em out and watch his eyes (among other things) get big with excitement.

Read More »

Stop searching. It's not there.

If 2010 has taught me anything so far it’s that eating greasy Thai noodles for four days straight will make you fatter. And if this year has taught me two things, it’s also that infamous and elusive G-spot is a sham.

Pause.
What?!

Yes, it’s true. A recent study of about 1,800 women has concluded that the G-spot is one big, fat lie.

Upon first reading this study I was shocked, appalled, cursing Cosmo and their 500 tips per month on maximizing something that doesn’t exist… and subconsciously reaching toward my nether regions. From Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Coach purse you purchased at a kiosk, how many lies can one woman take?

But the more I thought about it, I realized how reassuring it was to know that all that time I spend in bed looking at my watch waiting for the Big O that never comes (no pun intended) has never actually been my fault. Or the fault of the man lying there with me.

While this study is somewhat disheartening (like that moment when you realized the Tooth Fairy was actually the rotund man you call “dad”) and definitely under a lot of scrutiny, to me it’s nothing but good news. Finally there is an answer to too many women’s concerns. Finally we can stop wasting our time highlighting key passages in the latest Cosmo as we go on yet another monthly scavenger hunt for our g-spot! Finally we can tell that “friend” of ours to focus on the pleasure parts we know exist and take a one way ticket to O-Town (and I’m not talking about the boy band) sans the Mapquest directions.

This study may be bad news for some (mostly whoever is writing books like these), but not so much for the rest of us. After all, knowing Santa wasn’t real didn’t stop the presents from coming, right?

I am a HUGE fan of “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” (the book, not the movie) so when I found out that after 6 years, Audrey Niffenegger was releasing another novel, I knew I had to get my paws on it. Luckily, my anniversary with my boyfriend coincided beautifully with the release date, so, needless to say, I received it as a gift (good job, Tyler!).

Anyways, “Her Fearful Symmetry,” as you can imply from the title, focuses on pairs. In the novel, Elspeth Noblin has died from leukemia and left her flat in London and the majority of her belongings to her mirror-image twin nieces, Valentina and Julia, whom she has never met. They are the children of her twin sister, Edie, and right from the beginning you are made aware that they have not spoken to each other in 21 years. Niffenegger hints at the tension between the sisters and that it has something to do with Edie’s husband Jack, but doesn’t reveal the secret until much, much later.

Julia and Valentina are a bit lost living in the US with their parents; they continually enroll and then drop out of post-secondary institutions and have an extremely hard time being apart. They decide to move to London to live in their aunt Elspeth’s flat, but it comes with some conditions, including that they must live together in the flat for a year before they can sell it.

The twins move to London and soon meet the other characters in the novel, all of whom seem to function in pairs: Robert Fanshaw, Elspeth’s much younger lover and neighbor, Martin, who has severe OCD and his (literally) absent wife Marijke. Elspeth also continues to be a major player in the novel, only as a ghost. She is able to communicate with anyone in her flat and, eventually, Valentina starts to see Elspeth. Now, Valentina appears to have always struggled with her existence being tied to Julia; she wants to break free and finally do something on her own. She formulates a plan with Elspeth and Robert… and I think that’s all I’m going to say for plot….. Read More »

We all have our own sexual fantasies. Some of us want to try threesomes, some want to be blindfolded, some want to have sex in public. None of these fantasies are all that unusual and I doubt anyone would raise an eyebrow if they came out in a game of never-have-I-ever (well, unless you’re playing with Grandma).

But what about those fantasies that are just “weird”? The ones you’re afraid to share with your boyfriend, the one’s you hear rumors about in the caf, and the ones you read about online when you accidentally Google the wrong thing and then quickly delete your web history.

This week’s Sexy Time will take a closer look at a two of the more cringe-worthy sexual fantasies out there to see what they’re really all about.

Daddy/Daughter Fantasy

What It’s All About: The daddy/daughter fantasy isn’t necessarily about incest, it’s about domination, submission and seduction. Daddy/daughter fantasies come in all forms: an innocent little girl playing “games” with daddy, a bad little girl being punished by daddy, a naughty little girl seducing daddy… use your imagination.

The Appeal: Many women enjoy daddy/daughter fantasies because it allows them to be submissive. Despite how far feminism has come, the “slut” stigma is still very prevalent in society. Daddy/daughter fantasies allow women to enjoy sex without feeling any guilt or shame. Rather than being labeled a “slut” for enjoying sex, they are simply a little girl who is doing what their daddy wants them to. Other women enjoy playing the “Lolita” aspect, the naughty little girl who no man can resist. Daddy/daughter fantasies come in all shapes and sizes and men and women all have different reasons for finding them hot. Read More »

Phone sex. One of those taboos that’s so great, people are willing to pay $5.99 a minute just to get some. Of course, if you’re in a relationship, you can get it for free. But you haven’t, have you? Sure, phone sex might seem awkward at first, but under certain circusmtances, it can satisfy the carnal needs of you and your partner.What’s the big deal with phone sex, you ask. I mean, sure, I prefer a quality hump to a Cingular-shag, but sometimes, you’re horny and physical contact isn’t an option.

I lost my phone sex virginity when I was in a long-distance relationship. Actually, we were having phone sex long before we had actual intercourse, because my track record was a lot longer than my man’s and I was trying to be a “good girl” and take things slow, or some bullsh*t like that.

Anyway, you know all the fluff and butterflies that come when you have a new crush, or even better, a new boyfriend. I was really into this guy. I wanted him. Bad. But I was buried with school work, and wouldn’t be able to visit him for a week or two. One night, I called him, half in the bag and 100% horny. Obviously, the alcohol lowered my inhibitions, and I started talking dirty, telling him how much I wanted him…and the next thing I knew, BAM! Phone sex. Read More »

So Adriana Lima and her VS 2008 Fantasy bra are pretty damn spectacular, but what’s a normal girl to do when in need of a little lift’n’seperation (minus 1500 carats’ worth of MAJOR chafing)?

There’s no need to shell out that 5 mill, girlfriend (because you were totally considering it and all); some of the best bras within your reach will do just as great of a job supporting your own gems, and you won’t need to take out an insurance policy on them. Read More »

You don’t have to fill a plastic pumpkin with candy corn to make the most out of fall’s best holiday. Even if the pumpkins are the best. things. on. earth. Halloween comes chock full of goodies, many of which won’t send you into a diabetic coma or give you a muffin top in your cheap vinyl pirate hooker costume. We’re less than two weeks away from Halloween, and I know I’m looking forward to way better treats than fun-sized Milky Way bars.

1. Horror Movie Overload

As a horror movie fanatic, this is my favorite time of the cable television year. On any given day of the week, you’ll find yourself choosing between installments of Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street. Scour the TV Guide, and you’ll probably also find lesser-known thrillers like The People Under the Stairs, or a wide selection of Steven King novel-turned-creepy-classics.

This is also the time of year for new horror flicks to hit the cinemas. I’m tempted to shell out $10 for Saw V, which hits theaters October 24. I also have to admit I’m tempted to check out The Haunting of Molly Hartley, which comes out on Halloween, and not just because of Chace Crawford.

2. The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Special

Can you believe that this year’s Simpsons Halloween Special will be number 19?!? Though we have to wait until November 2 to see ToH XIX, you can bet the other 18 episodes will be running in syndication every weeknight for the next couple of weeks. This year’s episode will supposedly feature spoofs of Transformers and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (another Halloween treat that deserves an honorable mention on this list). The opening credits are also rumored to have strong political ties, but I’d rather not spoil the surprise. If the blood and gore of horror flicks gross you out, you can still appreciate the hilarious parodies that The Simpsons bring us every year. Read More »

What’s a political campaign without sex? A McCain campaign ad recently accused Obama of trying to pass a bill incorporating sex ed into kindergarten classrooms. Of course, Obama doesn’t even need to utter the “s” word when McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, has the poster family for the need for sex education.

Maybe Palin’s daughter should’ve been given a sex ed lecture in kindergarten. Maybe, in the wake of the Gloucester school girls and celebrity teen momdom, we should consider revamping our sex ed policies, rather than letting Ellen Paige serve as an instructor when Juno comes out on DVD. I took sex ed. And now, I have sex. Sometimes quite freely.

There’s still a lot that I don’t know, and some stuff I know now that I wish I’d learned in sixth grade sex ed class:

-Sex is NOT synonymous with love. It can be, but it isn’t always. Sex is synonymous with physical attraction, hormones, and judgment (note that I didn’t specify “good” or “bad” judgment).

-Sex changes everything. It can burn bridges, create awkward situations, and ruin friendships. However, it can also take a relationship to the next level, or allow you to see your partner in a completely different light. It can be good, it can be bad, but either way, once you’ve crossed that line… there’s no going back. Read More »

Every. single. time I find myself in a room full of boys, the conversation inevitably turns to threesomes (or farts, but that is a whole different article). From the jokes, “Dude, we can totally eiffel tower her,” to the stories, “And then she asked if she could bring a friend!” guys can’t get the threesome of of their minds.

Being that I have never taken part in one (shocking, I know), I never really understood the appeal. After all, sex with one person is fun enough, and haven’t you always heard the old adage, “three’s a crowd”? Why, then, are guys so completely obsessed with bringing an extra body into an already exciting situation? If it ain’t broke (which I can say sex most definitely is not), why turn it into a threesome?

Our resident boy gives us the lowdown. Read More »