Role playing is ESSENTIAL in any long-term, monogamous relationship.

And it’s just plain fun in any other situation.

Role playing allows us to live out our fantasies in a comfortable, safe situation, and adds some much needed variety to our sex lives. But as fun as it is to be someone else for a bit, it can also be really nerve-racking. We’re not all professional actors, and pretending to be someone else, especially when you’re naked and vulnerable, can be hard.

If you’ve never done it before, do it. And if you’re not sure how, here are my answers to a few questions you probably have:

Q. How do I tell my partner I want to role-play with seeming like I’m bored with him/her?

A. “I’ve always thought it would be really hot to sleep with a professor. Can I call you Dr. ______ tonight?” Most partners will be happy to help you fulfill your fantasies.

Q. What are some good role play scenarios to try?

A. Anything that turns you on. My favorites are situations where one person has to talk the other into sex because it’s “forbidden.” Something like teacher/student or boss/employee can be really hot, and you can alternate who does the convincing (i.e. naughty student or pervy professor).

Q. What do I say? How do I act?

A. Don’t try too hard or over think it; just say what comes naturally. In a “forbidden” scenario, the conversation is practically written for you (“I’m not sure about this.” “Don’t worry, no one has to know.”). For other scenarios just keep it basic in the beginning. Doctor/nurse – talk about the hospital you work at, firefighter/rescued person – talk about how scared you were and how thankful you are. It’s good to throw in some sexy stuff, but don’t force it. “I’ve wanted you all semester” is much hotter than “I’ll suck your D for an A.” You get the picture.

Q. What if I get tired of it halfway through?

A. It’s totally fine to use role playing as foreplay and then go back to your normal self when the sexing gets really hot. Not everyone can keep up the façade when they’re under so much intense pleasure. You’re partner will understand.

Q. Do I have to dress up?

A. No, but it might be fun. We’re college students, so we all know how to work a theme party. Feel free to apply the same ideas to the bedroom.

Well, there you go. Now you’re ready to start experimenting with new roles to play in the bedroom. If you have any more questions, leave them in the comments!

So instead of getting all brainy on a topic that should be anything but, I offer you a regular girl’s guide to bettering your sexual endeavors.  You will not be tested on this material (at least not in a Scantron sort of way), just print it out and hang it above your bed.

1. Speak Up

Don’t wait for him to ask you what feels good.  If he’s a mildly oblivious (aww, but well-meaning) college dude, chances are he’ll think he’s doing just fine so long as you both leave satisfied.  Problem is, “just fine” isn’t always what you’re looking for.  Help him shoot for the stars by being vocal about what feels fabulous and what leaves you a little bored.

2. Dress Up

Who says costumes are just for Halloween and frat mixers?  I know you’ve got a few choice outfits in that closet waiting for the next CEOs and Office Hoes party.  Break ‘em out and watch his eyes (among other things) get big with excitement.

3. Confess

Admit it, everyone’s got at least one major sex fantasy.  Whether you’re into the run-of-the-mill naughty doctor routine or something a little…less…ordinary, it’s time to indulge and go wild.  One of the biggest factors in a great sex life is being comfortable with your partner.  This is one of the points that will really test your comfort level.  I mean, imagine telling a rando you’ve always wanted to get it on in the library while people secretly watched.  Awk-ward!

4. Play Around

Role-playing is an excellent way to explore the boundaries of your relationship.  It’s kinda an excuse to say anything and, should it not be well received, chalk it up to “getting caught up in the moment.”  Likewise, you may test his limits and find you’ve both wanted to try some of the same things.  It’s a harmless way to ease into some of the iffier conversations and keep the mood light.

5. Get Dirty

Dirty talk isn’t just for phone sex and text messages.  Newsflash: it brings about amazing results when used in person, as well.  And don’t be embarrassed, that’s key.

6. Think Outside the Bed

Try the floor.  Try the couch.  Try the stairs.  Try the top of the dryer.  Just make sure these aren’t communal places and that no one’s home.  I mean, unless you’re fulfilling #3.  In that case, just try not to get caught.

7. Make Him Surprise You

It’s like potluck dinner, but better because it’s not dinner- it’s sex!  When you keep an open mind and allow your partner to bring his own selection of tricks to the table, you might just stumble upon something great.  As an added bonus, he’ll get an ego boost knowing you trust him enough not to give directions all the time.  No one wants a control freak in bed (unless you’re exploring tip #1, but be kind about it).

8. Watch Together, Stay Together

Watching porn can do a lot of marvelous things for your sex life.  Not only can it provide some DIY ideas, but porn also serves as great foreplay and will help get you both in the mood for the main event.  Be sure to remember, not everything in the movies is quite as epic as real life.  But that shouldn’t stop you from trying!

9. Keep it Real

In light of #8, I have this to offer: Don’t have unrealistic expectations for sex.  Try to avoid mumbling, “That was it?” and realize it takes two to tango.  You’re half the equation, so it’s equally up to you to bring your A Game to the bedroom.

10. Satisfy Yourself

How do you expect anyone else to know what works for you if even you don’t know what works for you?  Masturbation is a beautiful thing and a necessary part of a stellar sex life.  Find what brings you to orgasm on your own so you know what you like once it’s sexy time plus one.

Stop searching. It's not there.

If 2010 has taught me anything so far it’s that eating greasy Thai noodles for four days straight will make you fatter. And if this year has taught me two things, it’s also that infamous and elusive G-spot is a sham.

Pause.
What?!

Yes, it’s true. A recent study of about 1,800 women has concluded that the G-spot is one big, fat lie.

Upon first reading this study I was shocked, appalled, cursing Cosmo and their 500 tips per month on maximizing something that doesn’t exist… and subconsciously reaching toward my nether regions. From Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Coach purse you purchased at a kiosk, how many lies can one woman take?

But the more I thought about it, I realized how reassuring it was to know that all that time I spend in bed looking at my watch waiting for the Big O that never comes (no pun intended) has never actually been my fault. Or the fault of the man lying there with me.

While this study is somewhat disheartening (like that moment when you realized the Tooth Fairy was actually the rotund man you call “dad”) and definitely under a lot of scrutiny, to me it’s nothing but good news. Finally there is an answer to too many women’s concerns. Finally we can stop wasting our time highlighting key passages in the latest Cosmo as we go on yet another monthly scavenger hunt for our g-spot! Finally we can tell that “friend” of ours to focus on the pleasure parts we know exist and take a one way ticket to O-Town (and I’m not talking about the boy band) sans the Mapquest directions.

This study may be bad news for some (mostly whoever is writing books like these), but not so much for the rest of us. After all, knowing Santa wasn’t real didn’t stop the presents from coming, right?

Anyways, “Her Fearful Symmetry,” as you can imply from the title, focuses on pairs. In the novel, Elspeth Noblin has died from leukemia and left her flat in London and the majority of her belongings to her mirror-image twin nieces, Valentina and Julia, whom she has never met. They are the children of her twin sister, Edie, and right from the beginning you are made aware that they have not spoken to each other in 21 years. Niffenegger hints at the tension between the sisters and that it has something to do with Edie’s husband Jack, but doesn’t reveal the secret until much, much later.

Julia and Valentina are a bit lost living in the US with their parents; they continually enroll and then drop out of post-secondary institutions and have an extremely hard time being apart. They decide to move to London to live in their aunt Elspeth’s flat, but it comes with some conditions, including that they must live together in the flat for a year before they can sell it.

The twins move to London and soon meet the other characters in the novel, all of whom seem to function in pairs: Robert Fanshaw, Elspeth’s much younger lover and neighbor, Martin, who has severe OCD and his (literally) absent wife Marijke. Elspeth also continues to be a major player in the novel, only as a ghost. She is able to communicate with anyone in her flat and, eventually, Valentina starts to see Elspeth. Now, Valentina appears to have always struggled with her existence being tied to Julia; she wants to break free and finally do something on her own. She formulates a plan with Elspeth and Robert… and I think that’s all I’m going to say for plot…..

Like Niffenegger’s breakout novel, “Her Fearful Symmetry” revolves around the supernatural. In “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” the main character, Henry, was a time traveler, and in this new novel, the main character (or at least most influential character) is a ghost. However, I find this a nice departure from the usual fiction book I pick up and enjoy the air of impossibility in the story.

“Her Fearful Symmetry” also includes another aspect, like I said before, of pairs. Every character in the novel functions the way that they do because of their significant other, whether it be their twin sister, their spouse or even a ghostly friend. Everyone relies on someone else, seems to even live for someone else and they are all looking to break away and find independence. I found this approach to be simply fascinating.

Like “Time Traveler’s,” “Her Fearful Symmetry” tugged at my heartstrings. I have to admit, a twist near the end got me so riled up last night that I couldn’t fall asleep. I think that the mark of a great book is one that makes you think and feel. When you think about it, words on a page having that deep of an impact on a reader is something pretty amazing; they’re just words after all! I definitely recommend “Her Fearful Symmetry.” Fans of “The Time Traveler’s Wife” won’t be disappointed, nor will any reader!

But what about those fantasies that are just “weird”? The ones you’re afraid to share with your boyfriend, the one’s you hear rumors about in the caf, and the ones you read about online when you accidentally Google the wrong thing and then quickly delete your web history.

This week’s Sexy Time will take a closer look at a two of the more cringe-worthy sexual fantasies out there to see what they’re really all about.

Daddy/Daughter Fantasy

What It’s All About: The daddy/daughter fantasy isn’t necessarily about incest, it’s about domination, submission and seduction. Daddy/daughter fantasies come in all forms: an innocent little girl playing “games” with daddy, a bad little girl being punished by daddy, a naughty little girl seducing daddy… use your imagination.

The Appeal: Many women enjoy daddy/daughter fantasies because it allows them to be submissive. Despite how far feminism has come, the “slut” stigma is still very prevalent in society. Daddy/daughter fantasies allow women to enjoy sex without feeling any guilt or shame. Rather than being labeled a “slut” for enjoying sex, they are simply a little girl who is doing what their daddy wants them to. Other women enjoy playing the “Lolita” aspect, the naughty little girl who no man can resist. Daddy/daughter fantasies come in all shapes and sizes and men and women all have different reasons for finding them hot.

The Ick Factor: Since when is acting out incest and pedophilia sexy? Does calling your boyfriend “daddy” in bed mean you actually want to have sex with your father?  Is a guy who is into this sort of thing also into children? The answer is most likely NO to these questions, but that doesn’t mean they don’t pop into most people’s heads when they first come into contact with a daddy/daughter fantasy.

Water Sports

What It’s All About: Wikipedia says, “Urolagnia (also urophilia, undinism) is a sexual activity in which participants derive sexual pleasure from urine and/or urination.” Many people enjoy urinating on their partner or being urinated on as a part of sexual activity.

The Appeal: There’s something kind of hot about two people who are so turned on by each other that they even find the other’s piss sexy. For the urinator, the pleasure in urine play usually comes from putting their partner in a vulnerable position and being able to act in a manner that would otherwise be completely unacceptable. For the partner being peed on, urine play can be a way to explore submissive tendencies, or they may just simply find urine a sexy thing. After all, many girls like having semen on their boobs or face (I am not one of them!), and urine is just another liquid that comes out down there.

The Ick Factor: But pee is icky! What if you get some weird disease? Even though urine is actual sterile and safe for consumption, most people can’t get over the “ew” feeling associated with it.

These are only two examples of the many taboo fantasies out there. What’s important to note, however, is that while many people find these fantasy’s “icky” or “wrong,” plenty of people find them pretty damn sexy. Really, Google searching “daddy/daughter fantasy” wields over 11,000,000 hits, and “water sports sex” turns up over 26,000,000. I feel pretty confident in saying that no matter how weird or unusual you think your personal fantasy is, there are tons of people who share the same one. Maybe it’s time we start opening up and pursuing the things that turn us on, rather than conforming society’s “missionary with a sprinkling of cowgirl” script for sexual fulfillment.

What do you guys think? Ever tried either of these? Do you have any of your own taboo fantasies?

Phone sex. One of those taboos that’s so great, people are willing to pay $5.99 a minute just to get some. Of course, if you’re in a relationship, you can get it for free. But you haven’t, have you? Sure, phone sex might seem awkward at first, but under certain circusmtances, it can satisfy the carnal needs of you and your partner.What’s the big deal with phone sex, you ask. I mean, sure, I prefer a quality hump to a Cingular-shag, but sometimes, you’re horny and physical contact isn’t an option.

I lost my phone sex virginity when I was in a long-distance relationship. Actually, we were having phone sex long before we had actual intercourse, because my track record was a lot longer than my man’s and I was trying to be a “good girl” and take things slow, or some bullsh*t like that.

Anyway, you know all the fluff and butterflies that come when you have a new crush, or even better, a new boyfriend. I was really into this guy. I wanted him. Bad. But I was buried with school work, and wouldn’t be able to visit him for a week or two. One night, I called him, half in the bag and 100% horny. Obviously, the alcohol lowered my inhibitions, and I started talking dirty, telling him how much I wanted him…and the next thing I knew, BAM! Phone sex.

We started having phone sex on a fairly regular basis after that. I mean, we both wanted to be together, and this was the closest thing to “real” intimacy. AND it was satisfying! Without going TMI on you folks, I’d just like to tell you that there’s something really hot about knowing that you can get your partner off from hundreds of miles away. And there’s also something hot about hearing all the things he wants to do to you when he finally gets to wrap his arms around you.

Like I said, my phone sex relationship was long distance. Still, the phone sex brought us super close together, because there is a certain amount of trust (and an equally important amount of lust) required to be able to feel comfortable about breathing heavily into the phone.

If you are in a long-distance relationship, or if your mate has to travel, phone sex is awesome. Hell, even if you call him on his lunch break and tell him all the naughty thoughts going through your head, I’m pretty sure you’ll earn ten billion cool girlfriend points. Besides, it’s a great creative outlet. If you want to have good phone sex, you better come up with some freaky shit to whisper to your man. “I want you to get on top of me and do me missionary” is only hot for the five seconds it takes to spit the words out. But, if you get creative and detail-oriented, you will drive your man wild. And just thinking about all this raunchy stuff will do wonders for your own libido as well.

An added bonus? You can vividly describe sexual stuff so funky it would never work in real life…but you can live out any fantasy over the phone.

So Adriana Lima and her VS 2008 Fantasy bra are pretty damn spectacular, but what’s a normal girl to do when in need of a little lift’n’seperation (minus 1500 carats’ worth of MAJOR chafing)?

There’s no need to shell out that 5 mill, girlfriend (because you were totally considering it and all); some of the best bras within your reach will do just as great of a job supporting your own gems, and you won’t need to take out an insurance policy on them.

Strapless:

Felina’s Bra of the Year Strapless.

This super smooth bra has silicone strips on the sides, so no more slippage. Gone are the days of surreptitiously wiggling your shoulders to try to get your wilting undergarment back up to where it belongs. The convertible straps work with halter, racer-back, criss cross and one shoulder tops. The back closes with three degrees of varying tightness and is three hook-and-eyes tall, which is great for more support on bigger cup sizes. Best of all, the cups plunge all the way down to kiss in the middle, so your safe no matter how low your neckline will go.

Under sweater/ T-Shirts

OnGossamer’s Every Day Pretty Contour Bra.

Not only is it so pretty you won’t want to put your sweater on in the first place, it’s perfectly smooth underneath it. Lightly lined cups just enhance your natural shape, without pushing you out or up. The fuller cup shape prevents any spillage, so you avoid embarrassing double-boob no matter what your size.

Sexy Sexy Sexy

Frederick’s of Hollywood’s Chic Satin Bra

You can’t beat Frederick’s when it comes to over the top sexy lingerie. This baby has all a girlie-girl lingerie fetishista’s heart could desire: bows, lace, ruffles and the perfect pop of playful color.

Simone Perele’s Marquises Bra

For a more classically sultry look, this black lace number is the pinnacle of classic glamour. Black lace demi-cups scream femme fatale and the floral detail is feminine and sexy.

Every day comfort

Victoria’s Secret’s BioLift

Not only does it come in every color imaginable, the BioFit is by far the most comfortable bra I own. The material is super smooth, and the bra lives up to its promise of feeling custom made. Each cup size has a different level of padding that will enhance your shape (not make you look ridiculous or squeezed into your shirt). They’re super comfortable and perfect to wear every. single. day.

For Larger Cup Sizes

Chantelle’s Rive gauche Push-Up Bra

So there’s all this hoopla about how sexy huge boobs are. First of all, I have huge boobs and the first word that comes to mind when describing them is notsexy (it actually is a blend of a few choice expletives). Second of all, when a gal wants to show off said sexy boobs to her man, the women at typical lingerie stores are perplexed as to why they should carry any 36-D sized bras in any style other than geriatric. Enter Chantelle’s Rive Gauche Push-Up. It’s full coverage (!) so even the well-endowed can have a pretty, pretty push-up bra. With fuller cups and a higher cut, it won’t look like your boobs are eating your bra, and the gorgeous lace detail is anything but Grandma.

Victoria’s Secret’s BeautySecrets Bust Firming Bra

Leave it to Victoria’s Secret to engineer a bra that can alter the consistency of your body part. While you might worry about looking like an Olly girl (as if you didn’t draw enough suspicion of plastic surgery without rock hard ta ta’s), trust me this bra is a god send. While normal bras are perfectly fine for jiggle control on sizes A-C, if you’re a D or up, a simple walk down the stairs can make any male passerby’s day. Not if VS has anything to say about it though; the Beauty Secret has twinned straps for added support in addition to full cups so that your cups won’t runneth over. The best part? It promises that after 4 weeks of daily wear, your rack will be tighter, firmer and higher even when you’re not wearing it.

If you Have a Smaller Chest

Victoria’s Secret ‘s Very Sexy Miracle Bra.

No matter what your cup size, this bra will give you maximum cleavage. It’s padded with Victoria’s Secret Level five padding –the highest they make. Add this to the capacity to make the detachable straps a halter, and the Infinity Edge that won’t show lines in the tightest tops, and you won’t pay for a drink all night.

Jezebel’s CoCo Demi Bra

Take advantage of your girlish figure to go all out on pretty pink lingerie. The delicate shape is perfect for displaying what yo mama gave you (however generous she was). Cute bows and adorable heart charms complete the coquettish charm and the demi cups give a fuller appearance. Any boy who gets to check this out will be counting his blessings while he’s checking yours out.

1. Horror Movie Overload

As a horror movie fanatic, this is my favorite time of the cable television year. On any given day of the week, you’ll find yourself choosing between installments of Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street. Scour the TV Guide, and you’ll probably also find lesser-known thrillers like The People Under the Stairs, or a wide selection of Steven King novel-turned-creepy-classics.

This is also the time of year for new horror flicks to hit the cinemas. I’m tempted to shell out $10 for Saw V, which hits theaters October 24. I also have to admit I’m tempted to check out The Haunting of Molly Hartley, which comes out on Halloween, and not just because of Chace Crawford.

2. The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Special

Can you believe that this year’s Simpsons Halloween Special will be number 19?!? Though we have to wait until November 2 to see ToH XIX, you can bet the other 18 episodes will be running in syndication every weeknight for the next couple of weeks. This year’s episode will supposedly feature spoofs of Transformers and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (another Halloween treat that deserves an honorable mention on this list). The opening credits are also rumored to have strong political ties, but I’d rather not spoil the surprise. If the blood and gore of horror flicks gross you out, you can still appreciate the hilarious parodies that The Simpsons bring us every year.

3. Haunted Houses and Haunted Hayrides

Any small town is bound to have an annual haunted fundraiser of sorts, where local girl scouts, boy scouts, and drama clubs volunteer to act as zombies, witches, and ghouls for your entertainment. Sure, they’re usually cheesy, and are more likely to make you chuckle rather than scream, but it’s the holiday spirit that makes it fun.

If you live near an amusement park, you can also enjoy such festivities as Bush Gardens’ Howl-O-Scream and Six Flags’ Fright Fest, which sends dozens of professional actors out in costume to try to scare the bejesus out of you while you wait in line for an adrenaline-pumping roller coaster.

4. Guys in Full-Out Jack Sparrow Costumes

If you go to a big enough Halloween party, you’re bound to find some dude that shelled out the dough for the full Jack Sparrow digs. I’m talking the hat, the wig, the jacket, the pants, the boots. True, this guy is probably a comic book geek who put too much time, money, and effort into something he can only wear one night. True, he might have just as big of a boner for Johnny Depp as I do. But the fact of the matter is, that Jack Sparrow guy is going to grab my attention, and spark some of my deep-seeded fantasies. And if I get drunk enough, I might wake up in the morning and see the real man behind the mascara.

5. Test Tube Shots

Not only are the campus bars going to be packed with costume-wearing, binge-drinking partiers, but they’re probably going to have some killer drink specials. Some popular gimmicks include shots in test tubes (which a lot of bars serve on the regular, but which are more fun to buy from a shotgirl dressed as a slutty mad scientist), fish bowls with fake body parts floating in them, and pretty much any shot that’s blood-red or slime-green (note that these shots will obviously reappear at Christmas time, but have a totally different effect). Halloween is also a great excuse to do shots of Tarantula tequila, which, in my opinion, trumps Mike and Ike and Snickers any day.

Maybe Palin’s daughter should’ve been given a sex ed lecture in kindergarten. Maybe, in the wake of the Gloucester school girls and celebrity teen momdom, we should consider revamping our sex ed policies, rather than letting Ellen Paige serve as an instructor when Juno comes out on DVD. I took sex ed. And now, I have sex. Sometimes quite freely.

There’s still a lot that I don’t know, and some stuff I know now that I wish I’d learned in sixth grade sex ed class:

-Sex is NOT synonymous with love. It can be, but it isn’t always. Sex is synonymous with physical attraction, hormones, and judgment (note that I didn’t specify “good” or “bad” judgment).

-Sex changes everything. It can burn bridges, create awkward situations, and ruin friendships. However, it can also take a relationship to the next level, or allow you to see your partner in a completely different light. It can be good, it can be bad, but either way, once you’ve crossed that line… there’s no going back.

-Sex can be fun. Why don’t they talk about Kama Sutra, tantra, sex toys, or kinky fantasies in sex ed? It’s all “have sex and get pregnant,” or “have sex and get herpes” talk. But if you’re safe and consenting, sex can turn into an amusement park with all of the different rides it has to offer.

-Sex doesn’t always work. There’s sloppy sex. There’s the sex that just isn’t going to end in mutual orgasms. There’s sex that you thought you wanted to have, until it happens. Shake it off — we can’t all be stars in a Brad Pitt love scene.

-Sex can be good for your health. The endorphins released when a female orgasms acts as a powerful painkiller*. Cramping from killer PMS? Mild exercise (like sex) can help ease the pain as well.

-Sexually active does NOT mean slutty (or stupid!). Did you know that women with college degrees are more likely to enjoy giving and receiving oral sex than high school drop outs*? How about that women with PhD’s are twice as likely to seek a one-night-stand than those who stopped at the Bachelors*?

I still feel like I’m coming up short here, ladies. All of our sex ed regimes were different– what did your teachers neglect to inform you during 5th period Health Class?

*Facts courtesy of The Sex E-Zine. Learn all you wanted to know (and a lot you didn’t want to know) about knocking boots here!

Every. single. time I find myself in a room full of boys, the conversation inevitably turns to threesomes (or farts, but that is a whole different article). From the jokes, “Dude, we can totally eiffel tower her,” to the stories, “And then she asked if she could bring a friend!” guys can’t get the threesome of of their minds.

Being that I have never taken part in one (shocking, I know), I never really understood the appeal. After all, sex with one person is fun enough, and haven’t you always heard the old adage, “three’s a crowd”? Why, then, are guys so completely obsessed with bringing an extra body into an already exciting situation? If it ain’t broke (which I can say sex most definitely is not), why turn it into a threesome?

Our resident boy gives us the lowdown.