I know that off the bat leggings don’t sound like the sexiest garment in the world. You’ve seen all the girls on campus that wear them the wrong way with the too-short shirts, Uggs and panty lines galore.  There are other ways to wear leggings, ladies! Trust me, after the freshmen 15, even though your jeans may no longer fit (it’s not your fault all you can afford is ramen!) and you can’t afford new ones, leggings like these – when worn correctly – can be fabulously slimming.

The number one rule to wearing leggings is to always, always, always wear a top long enough to cover your bum! Leggings truly are not a substitute for pants. (Editor’s Note: Just ask my friend Erica who always screams “leggings aren’t pants” at girls who just don’t get it.) The material tends to thin out around the largest parts of you (read: your butt) and your underwear will not be safe!

The best thing about these leggings from VS is that they’re different. They’re not your momma’s leggings from the ’80s. They have a chic sheen that isn’t overdone and makes them a tad more dressy – perfect to pair with a hot going-out top and a pair of heels or tucked into my favorite wish list wedges from last week!

But the thing I love most about these liquid leggings is what they’re not: pleather. Although I love the look, I just don’t see how it’s feasible. Pleather leggings are too shiny for throwing on for class, and they’re too pleathery for anything else. Hello! Imagine trying to sit on a vinyl chair in a pair of those bad boys? And wouldn’t your thighs get stuck together?? These liquid leggings, however, achieve the hot idea behind the look without sticking you in a fake leather bind.

And yes – leggings are slimming. Fitted, black, luminescent in the best way, investing in a pair of leggings like these will follow you through the ups and downs in your waistline that college is famous for without showing the evidence in your calves. They’re also the best way to expand your summer wardrobe into the fall and winter. You can wear these under a dress or skirt and they instantly make a short hemline that your friend told you was too skanky instantly acceptable. And let’s face it, just because your jeans don’t fit, it’s still not acceptable to wear pajamas to class.

All hail liquid leggings.

[See what else Julia is jonesing for by clicking right here.]

But even with all the beautiful summer fashion options out there, I worry.  What is it about the imminent arrival of summer that causes normally well-dressed people to make some, shall we say, questionable sartorial choices? Why do they think it’s okay to be semi-nude in public or dress like children?

Sure, bad fashion exists year-round, but summer clothing lives so much closer to naked that its faux pas are particularly troublesome.

Below, a round-up of my all time worst offenders! Remember, they’re called ‘don’ts’ for a reason!

1. Uggs. I know I’m going to get some slack for this one, but I just do not care. Yes, I think Uggs are ugly as sin and make your feet look like blobby puddles of dough, but I have begrudgingly accepted them as a form of warm and practical fall/winter footwear.  That being said, if it’s warm enough for shorts, it’s also warm enough for sandals!  If it’s dress season, your Ugglies should not be seeing the light of day. Hide those things under pants.

2. Call ‘em short shorts, call ‘em hot pants, call ‘em Daisy Dukes: but ladies (and please, for the love of god, men) put ‘em away! There are some seriously cute shorts out there these days, but if I can see the curvature of your ass cheeks before that fabric hits bottom, they are TOO SHORT.

3. Jelly shoes: What, are you 5 years old? No. And if you are, you shouldn’t be reading this website. You are too young, little lady!

4. Tunics as dresses: Fine in theory, but for my general problem with these, see the entry for short shorts and add in the problems of wind, subway grates, and public staircases, to name a few. And everyone knows it’s a shirt.

5. Platform flip-flops: These little gems were huuuuge (literally) around my high school, and I, as a very short girl, never understood them. It’s as though every girl under 5’4” strapped cinder blocks of foam to her feet in an attempt to look taller and svelter, but you don’t look taller and svelter! You look like a short person standing on foam cinder blocks. And now you look like a short person standing on foam cinder blocks that went out of fashion 6 years a go. Fail.

6. Bandeau tops: They are not tops – they are bathing suits and bras.

7.  Oh Mandals, why are you so difficult to master? Seriously, if anyone has found a pair of good looking sandals for men that aren’t just flip-flops, I would love to see them. Because unless you are a surfer or soccer player, there is just very little that makes sense on you and your hairy feet. Sorry, guys.

8. Mesh in any form.

9. White or sheer clothing with underwear that isn’t nude. When you are being beautifully backlit by the sun, I do not want to see your underwear outlines. Remember: you can see white under white! If you are AT ALL questioning whether something is a wee bit see thru, go nude. By which I mean nude underoos – not commando. Come on, people!

10. (This last one is pretty rare, but when I see it I am so completely baffled that I have to mention it:) Heels with bathing suits. I’m pretty sure I’ve only seen this in Vegas and near a pool somewhere in Long Island, but unless you are currently filming a music video or in a beauty pageant, put on some flip-flops. Just not platform ones.

I’m just not sure about the “throw all my clothes away” thing. But that’s neither here nor there.

Now, there are many WNTW rules that I don’t need to worry about (I’ve got years before being tempted by the “mom jeans”), and I doubt I’ll be getting on the show anytime soon, but those fashion experts provide tons of guidelines that everyone can benefit from.

Everything I’ve learned about flattering fashion I learned from What Not To Wear. The following rules, courtesy of Stacey and Clinton, can guide all of us into more flattering options when shopping, or when trying to clean the skeletons from our closets.

1. It’s more important to have clothes that fit properly then to follow trends.

2. Highlight the smallest part of you (on some girls this is above their natural waist) to achieve an hour glass shape.

3. Carmindy’s 5 Minute Face is great for mornings when you woke up late but still want to make a good impression.

4. Wearing overly baggy clothes will make it look like you have something to hide, not make you look smaller.

5. You never know who you’ll run into when you’re simply running errands, so don’t wear pjs or sweats in public! (And, yes, class is a public place!)

6. You can mix patterns, just pick patterns in the same color family.

7. Wear light colors on the bottom to balance out a bigger chest.

8. A good fitting bra is the start to any good outfit. (The girls have to be happy!)

9. Things don’t have to match, they have to go.

10. Dress for the weight you are at the moment, not the weight you want to be. You’ll never feel good about yourself if you’re constantly thinking I need to lose 5 pounds/your pants are digging into your waist and leaving a deep red line, so embrace the frosh 15 and lose it when you lose it.

11. A pointy-toe shoe elongates your legs.

12. You can mix brown and black! They are both neutrals and neutrals go with anything. Other neutrals include grey, denim, navy and beige.

13. You have to try things on in order to tell if they will fit! If it’s too busy for you to be bothered (because who wants to stand in line for the changing room AND when you are paying) make sure you can return the item. Leave the tags on and BRING IT BACK if it doesn’t fit.

Stacey and Clinton have changed my wardrobe and, in some senses, my life. I love them. A lot. Probably more than anyone should. And, because of them, I love myself too!

What have you learned from the fashion duo?

Student political party promises more sex.

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December break is here. Time to recharge!

In case you were wondering, a breakdown explaining why Robert Pattinson is so hot. (“Cuz he just is” wasn’t good enough.)