We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff)!

Swine flu, the rapidly-spreading illness making headlines across the globe, is probably Mexico’s least popular export at the moment. But let’s talk about my faaaavorite producto de Mexico, Gael Garciá Bernal, whose new film The Limits of Control opens today. Yeow!

The guapo Guadalajaran first caught my attention in Y Tu Mamá También, which is seriously the steamiest movie I’ve ever seen. Gael plays one of two teen boys who have sex with every woman under the sun and eventually take part in a thrilling three-way with a sensual, twenty-something woman (why wasn’t that me!?). While his character was supposed to be young, Gael’s physique alluded to the chiseled heartthrob he would soon become.

Bernal has also starred in the mega-hit biopic The Motorcycle Diaries, about the Argentine revolutionary Che Guevara, whose iconic face adorns many a hipster t-shirt. (Honestly, I’m as enthusiastic for socio-economic reforms as the next gal, but I’d much rather see Gael’s stunning visage on my cotton tee.) But if foreign films aren’t your forte, definitely catch Gael in The Science of Sleep, an indie cult favorite which…okay, it has a bit of French and Spanish in it, too, but accents and foreign tongues are just oh so effable, no? Read More »

You may have already heard that Clay Aiken has impregnated someone.

No, not that way. Come on.

Aiken has artificially inseminated his “best friend” and producer, Jaymes Foster, who is in her late 40’s. Clay has even decided to be a father in earnest (no, not that way) and help raise the little tyke. The baby is due in August, which means that they’ve managed to keep this under wraps for a while now.

I would like to offer my congratulations to the future parents. And so, as a gift (for some reason, I wasn’t invited to the baby shower) I’m going to give Clay some advice on how not to horribly scar and embarrass his child.

1. Don’t Smile.

You’ve recently bought a new smile, Clay, but I’m sorry, adding huge ceramic teeth to an already startlingly creepy face is a bad move. If you catch your infant child unawares, he may think that you are a beaver monster and never trust you again. Read More »