Facebook. Social network, amazing way to stay in touch, the single greatest contributor to my finals-procrastination mental breakdown. Love it or hate it, Facebook pretty much owns our asses – the question is, has it gone too far?

It’s not really hard to hate on Facebook. Like the mythical siren it draws you in and crushes your time management skills. It also forces you to endure the unending stream of Farmville posts (I don’t care about your pink cow, damnit!) and your mom’s worried little comments about that drunk status update you posted (seriously, why did I ever show my mother how to get on Facebook?). And as if having to know that the girl you hated in high school is having her fairytale wedding to Prince Charming even though she has to take off time from her amazingly fulfilling high-paid job for the honeymoon (bitch) isn’t bad enough (not to mention the privacy issues), FB is also basically ruining our ability to actually connect with people! Friends, guys, it’s so much easier to FB message that to actually call and have a conversation – and by making it easy to do it’s also made bothering to keep up your relationships seem less important.

Hell, even Betty White knows it’s a waste of time!

Ok, diatribe over. Because as many bad things as there are about Facebook, we all keep coming back to it for a reason – because it’s kind of awesome. Would we know that Betty White thinks Facebook is a waste of time without Facebook? No, because without FB support, she would have never done that (totally amazing) episode of SNL! And even if you ignore that fact that it’s probably the coolest thing ever that you can keep up with your BFF from 3rd grade even though she lives across the country, you can’t skip over the fact that people have used the power of FB for the greater good. People have started causes, helped others, helped the planet all because Facebook gives you the power to connect. And even if maybe you do spend more of your time playing Mafia Wars than saving the whales, isn’t that fact that it’s even an option something worth celebrating?

So, is Facebook really an evil time-suck? The culminating achievement of the internet age? Both? Could you ever give up the addiction or is it worth the sacrifices? Duke it out!

Some of us are the Charlottes who are happy knowing at the end of the day there is a guy that will be thinking about us before we fall asleep. Some of us are the Samanthas who are happy knowing we have a guy we can shag before we fall asleep. Ahh, and then there are those in between-ers like myself. We want someone to love and shag us before we tuck in for the night.

Whichever category you fall into, it’s no wonder we’re all looking for that special person to “complete” us.

Having a boyfriend brings about a sense of pride and accomplishment. It gives us all feelings of worth, self esteem and validation. Oh, and a serious case of the butterflies.

As sad as that may be, it’s the truth. Sure, the powerful and independent woman can find all of that on her own, but the fact is we’ve been taught our whole lives to want a boyfriend. Case in point: romantic movies. Those friggin’ things don’t do jack sh!t for a single girl besides motivate those starry-eyed expectations of how the majority of real guys act. Homegirl, I’m not talkin’ only about movies along the lines of “The Notebook” either. Those Disney Princess movies of carpet rides and glass slippers laced our childhood hopes of boyfriends with metaphorical crack before we got our training wheels off.

So yes, I want a boyfriend! You want a boyfriend! Your dog wants a boyfriend!

And there is nothing wrong with that. It is normal to want to have someone to talk to at the end of the day and to remind you how amazing you are. Someone who is going to give you bear hugs, forehead kisses, and be an olympic gold-medalist cuddler. It’s a part of the human moral fiber.

So for those cynical singles who won’t admit at the end of the day that they truly do want “that special person,” stick that in your juice box and suck it! Claiming you don’t want one may make you feel better about the fact that you don’t have one, but I truly feel that everyone deep down wants a boyfriend.

Thoughts?

Facebook is an addiction for some, well, most people I know (including myself). I am on there at least three times a day and I am an avid FB stalker. Yes, I admit it, a stalker. I stalk my friends, my boyfriend, people I haven’t seen in 10 years, I sometimes even stalk strangers.

Everyone has FB stalked at one point in their life, so why haven’t you learned? If you look at peoples’ pages you never met, do you actually think strangers are not looking at yours? It is all about the privacy ladies and gentlemen. Enable those privacy settings!

All of this Facebook talk stems from stories that have hit the news in the past two days. Maybe you have heard of the victims– Caitlin Davis, a cheerleader for the New England Patriots, and Buck Burnette, a center from the Texas Longhorns. Both Caitlin and Buck are under 22 years old and their lives have potentially been ruined because of our glorious Facebook. I couldn’t even imagine.

Caitlin was kicked off the cheerleading squad because of pictures posted on FB of her covering her passed-out-drunk friend in things like “Penis,” “I’m a Jew,” and a few swastikas. Buck was kicked off the Longhorn football team for updating his FB status with a racist remark shortly after Barack Obama won the presidency. Now, I have to wonder if these two FB idiots were punished for acting inappropriately and embarrassing their respective teams, or for making racist comments. Either way, I’m proud of the punishers for stepping up and making an example of these two youngsters.

The moral of the story: Don’t put anything on Facebook that you wouldn’t want someone to see. We have heard it SO many times, but here is yet another example to guard your FB page with your life…or you could be on the streets with Caitlin and Buck.

[Just don't tell 'em we told you...we hear they send snipers out after all dissenters]