You got a question? Tuffy’s got an answer. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Nuff said.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

College has been really complicated for me. It started out in my freshman year when I didn’t like the dorm where I lived (it was gross and I didn’t fit in anyway). The first semester a friend of mine from high school died. Soon after I realized that one of my closest friends from high school was toxic and when I decided to cut her out of my life. I lost touch with so many of the people I loved most. It was a really bad time to isolate myself because I really could have used the support. Looking back I do see how they really were crappy friends and it was for the best. Everything was a mess. I was supposed to meet amazing new people and have exciting adventures. Nothing was going how I imagined. By the end of my sophomore year things were looking up and I had made a small group of fantastic new friends, but I decided to transfer to another school. I just wanted to leave everything in the past and move on.

My new school is at the beach and I love it! It’s amazing! I just finished my junior year and although it’s so great to be here and have this fresh start, I’m still having trouble moving on. I keep applying my past experiences to my current situation. Every time I start to get close with a new person I get really freaked out. I either freeze and can’t think of anything to say or I start avoiding them and make up excuses for not being able to hang out. I’ve become a total flake. It’s like I can’t handle any level of commitment. I don’t want to let anyone get close to me because I feel like it couldn’t possibly end well or be a positive thing. I even ran away from the circle of friends from my sophomore year… and they didn’t even do anything.

Ever since I broke away from my life in high school I just can’t take the plunge again. I’m not even mad at the situations that got me here, I’m mad at myself because I can’t fix me so I’m back to normal. I even keep the few people that I have managed to remain close with at arm’s length. Sometimes when they try to be helpful and talk to me about it I feel the disapproval and judgment and it just makes me want to pull back even more. And that is so incredibly difficult when I’m sincerely trying to move forward and feel better about trusting and letting people get close to me again.

I just don’t know what to do because I feel like I’m missing out on the essential college experiences. I’m graduating next year and I don’t want to look back and wish that I had gotten my sh*t together in time to enjoy college. I just want to be normal and carefree and fun like I used to. Besides aren’t men supposed to be the ones with commitment issues?  What would you do?

-Commitment-phobic Read More »

Finals are coming, which means we are spending every waking moment trying to learn all those things we should have been learning all semester. We have only taken one break so far, which led to a drink, then five drinks, then a total late night pizza binge.

But Psych 350 and English 125 aren’t the only things we’ve learned this week (mostly because we still haven’t gotten through a quarter of the material yet):

We learned that you can be friends after sex, that you can be warm and chic, and that French men are the ones to go for.

We learned that jumping rope is the best calorie burner, that there is a big difference between dating undergrads and grad students, and that guys think hot girl models are intimidating, too.

We learned that the Big 3 automakers are totally screwed, that the best way to pay for school is by getting a sugar daddy, and that a guy’s condom preference says a lot about his character.

We also learned that 4th graders know more about dating than college boys, that we can put abortions on our wish lists this year and that lots of guys fear commitment.

We even learned how to make soup!

Whew. No wonder there is no room left in our brains for all that boring Psych shiz.