Your college experience flies by so fast that you’re often stuck standing in line for graduation wondering where the past four years went. You vaguely remember meeting your best friend when she held your hair back after your first frat party and you kinda remember that all-nighter you pulled to get 3 term papers done in one night. But the rest is a blur of theme parties, walks of shame, and begging your older sister for her fake ID.

Before you know it, you’re out in the real world, working a real job alongside real people, wondering what happened to no-class Friday and $3 pitchers. And trust me, it ain’t fun.

It gets pretty easy to get caught up in it all and forget to be young and crazy. That’s why, with only a little way’s to go until I hit the big 2-5, I’ve put together the ultimate list of everything we, as fun-loving and fearless women, need to accomplish before we turn 25.

1. Have a really good one-night stand with a gorgeous guy. Forget about your personalities matching up and forget about Facebooking him the next day. Appreciate the smoking hot naked body…and take some Plan B in the morning just in case, because if you did it right, you have no way of ever contacting him.

2. Do an illegal drug. Otherwise your kids will think you’re totally lame 30 years down the road when they’re all like “Mom, I bet you were so wild and fun back in the  ’10s” and you’ll have to respond “well, one time I drank beer before liquor.”

3. Live in another country (even if it’s just for a short period of time). You’ll get an entirely new perspective on our country, on the world, and on how far reaching American scandals go in other countries. Nothing like your Spanish host mom bringing up Monica Lewinsky years after the fact.

4. Travel on the cheap. Pick a destination and do it up, backpacking-style. Stay in hostels, eat unidentifiable food, and make sure to have anti-diarrhea medicine on hand. Once you’re over 25, your body will no longer be able to stomach staying in those places, eating that food, and experiencing food poisoning in front of a ton of foreign strangers.

5. Confront a fear. Doesn’t matter if it’s a fear of heights or a fear of spiders, figure out a way to face it head on just once.

6. Be brave and be bold and have sex with the lights on. He’ll find you even sexier, which will only boost your own self-confidence.

7. Splurge on an awesome pair of jeans that fit you really well. Bonus points if they also fit your completely different-sized best friends just as well and make magical things happen.

8. Apologize to someone you were mean to in middle school. Except for that one girl who didn’t need braces, everyone was feeling insecure and left out in those days. A quick Facebook message apology will brighten her day.

9. Make a real guy friend who is really just a friend. As in you don’t want to ever see him naked and he doesn’t ever want to see you naked. No points if you’re related.

10. Get a job working with food or working with clothes. You’ll never treat your waiters,  your bartenders, your salespeople the same way ever again. You’ll suddenly understand why they ask you to get off the phone when you’re ordering and why they request that you take your clothes out of the dressing room.

11. Figure out what kind of wine you actually like. There is life beyond Franzia and you’ll feel so mature and adult when you can tell a date that you prefer a dry Chardonnay over a sweeter Pinot. The best way to figure this out on the cheap? Go on a wine tour. You’ll sort things out real quick. Oh, and learn how to work a corkscrew. No wine is enhanced by chunks of cork floating around.

12. Take a roadtrip with your friends. The destination doesn’t matter. As Miley Cyrus once “sang,” it’s all about the climb. Nothing brings friends closer than endless games of “Count the Cracker Barrels,” hours upon hours of deep conversations (out come the family secrets!), and Disney sing-a-longs.

13. Try an exotic food you can’t pronounce.

14. Go to a college football game and go all out. Paint your face, lose your voice from cheering, and tailgate like a rockstar.

15. See a Broadway show. Even the most cynical people leave a show happy.

16. Go 24 hours media-free. That means turn off your cell phone and shut down your computer. With the exception of getting tagged in heinous photos that you can’t de-tag right away, you won’t miss anything.

17. Skinny dip.

18. Give back to the community. Whether it’s building houses for Habitat for Humanity, participating in a campus Relay for Life, or standing for days on end for a Dance Marathon, you’ll have an awesome time and feel really, really good about yourself. After a 12 hour nap, of course.

19. Learn to do your own taxes and how to manage your own money. It will make that transition into real life so. much. easier.

20. Take your parents out to a nice dinner. Because they deserve it.

21. Start a blog about your life and update it regularly. Sure it seems self-centered now, but you’ll be grateful ten years from now when you can reflect on your life when you were really living it up.

22. Go to a Pride Parade. There is nothing on earth as fun, happy and memorable than a parade dedicated to gay pride.

23. Go to Vegas and let go. Party hard, then party harder. Then hit up an all-you-can-eat buffet to sober up…so you can party again.

24. Learn to drive a manual car. They’re cheaper and, really, it’s just a cool party trick. Plus, from what we hear, it’s a major turn-on for guys.

25. Donate blood. If you think donating is scary, imagine being the person who needs it during a blood shortage. And if that’s not enough, there are cookies.

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! There’s nothing quite like having the living crap scared out of you for the sake of a little fun.  And as luck would have it, today is the day to celebrate all that is creepy, crawly and down right horrifying.

For some of us serial killers, axe murderers and zombie brides make us scream out in fear; for me, it’s just about everything else. Even the idea of mesh shirts, Mr. Clean (I can’t explain it, something about his bald head and disapproving glare terrify me) and bad Botox are enough to make me cringe. The sight of one of these alone will have me under the covers until someone soothing coaxes me out with the promise of hot cocoa and a hug.

So in honor of the most horrifying holiday of all holidays, bring on the blood, the gore, and the headless corpses because I have a list of fears that are way worse. Grab something cuddly, have the hot cocoa ready and check out ten ways to be terrified this Friday the 13th.

1. Flying in planes

2. Slipping and falling due to icy weather and a bad shoe decision

3. Brain worms (did you see Grey’s last night?!?)

4. Being forced to go home after graduation due to our failing economy.

5. Chris Brown.

6. Octomom’s humongus pregnant belly.

7.  Getting caught smoking a bong.

8. Blind dates.

9. Drunken Facebook pictures.

10. Glitter eyeshadow.

Good thing she had that random white dress on hand!

I really need to focus most of my attention on the Pratt wedding (because, let’s be honest, there is much to be discussed), but first I must say this: for the first time in the history of The Hills, tonight’s episode made me cry. Yes, laugh at me if you will, but Whitney’s dad was so cute and I couldn’t help but cry when he gave her a goodbye speech. Oh, and I also cried when Whitney got out of the limo at the airport. What was with that flannel babydoll dress? Did she learn nothing since her first day at Teen Vogue??

But none of that matters, because Spencer and Heidi got married. In Cabo. Drunk. I don’t know which part of the evening was worse:

- The fact that Spencer “knows what Patron does to [Heidi]!” and just kept giving her more until she agreed to marry him.

- When Spencer told Heidi, “I’m madly obsessed with you…I pretty much keep you from the whole world.” That guy is seriously one step away from Mark Wahlberg in Fear.

- Or when Spencer told Heidi that she makes him a nicer person. Anyone else want to know what he was like before Heidi? The Joker?

Eventually, Heidi agrees that this is a fantastic idea and joins Spencer in holy matrimony. But only in secret. Because if Heidi and Spencer are anything, it is concerned with their privacy. They aren’t the kind of people that would hire a photographer to snap shots of their wedding. They wouldn’t return from Cabo and immediately sell the story to US Weekly. It’s not like they are on a TV show, or anything.

This is secret and romantic and cute! No one is gonna find out. Not that this whole charade is going to last long enough to be legalized, anyway. Heidi is going to wake up from that Jose coma and realize what a giant (flesh color bearded) mistake she made.

Or they are going to make babies and get their own show, which will be nothing if not the most entertaining show on TV. God, I love MTV.

I’m not sure which Allstate bigwig hired Debbie Downer as their ad executive, but whoever decided depressing people into buying insurance was a good idea should be punched in the eye.

Below are a few of the offending commercials we found on YouTube.  Not surprisingly, most of the worst ones did not show up.  This is probably because Allstate knows they’re being f*cktards.

The “If You Don’t Have Accident Forgiveness Your Car Is Most Likely Going To Smash Into A Police Cruiser” Allstate commercial

And finally, the worst one of them all, The “Don’t Ever Try To Be Happy Because Everything That Can Go Wrong Will Including Your Wedding Turning Into A FUNERAL” Allstate commercial

Lots of times, when you’re in a new class in college, you can feel overwhelmed, embarrassed, and hesitant to speak up and give your two cents.

Unfortunately, slinking into the last row doesn’t always work; lots of classes base a part of your grade on participation, so speaking up is necessary. But, everyone gets those butterflies – the fear of being wrong or of giving the wrong impression is scarring and, for lots of people, a risk not worth taking.

I had a Psychology class my freshman year of over 550 people. Seriously, seriously scary. I never said a word. Sat there with my nose in the books and kept quiet until one day when the professor polled the entire class. Simple enough, right? Well, when I shot my hand up, face down of course, I noticed the room got extremely quiet. I looked up and realized that, out of 550 people, I was the only person who had raised a hand. So the professor asked me to stand up and explain why. It was then or never, so I got up, legs a little wobbly, and grew the courage to speak up.

What happened was pretty cool; no one laughed at me, no one made fun of me…everyone listened, smiled and, when I was done, went on with their business.

So, for all of you scared to talk in class, remember these points:

Everyone is in the same boat as you: Whether a freshman or a senior, the class you’re in is new for (almost) everyone.

There’s no wrong answer: While, technically, something you say could be academically incorrect, it’s never wrong to voice what you believe is the truth and/or your opinion

Teachers will admire you: Your professor will take note of your courage and keep it in mind when grade times come up!

You’ll contribute: By contributing to a conversation, you’ve embedded the conversation topic within your mind. So, when it comes time to study about that poem you were studying in English class, you’ll remember talking about it with your classmates!

Practice: If you are still a little worried about getting up in front of everyone, practice. When you’re in your room late at night, practice what you’d say about a specific topic so you’ll be prepared when the time is right to say something!

And, if it ever gets realllly tough, just picture everyone (including that cute boy you’ve been eyeing) naked!

Be Confident!

(Photo courtesy of spacegrant.nau.edu)

For those unfamiliar with the Rapex, it is an “anti-rape condom”. Basically, it’s a condom worn inside of you with barbs that, should any man put his hoo ha where it is not welcome, it will be stuck with barbs removable only by a doctor.

Naturally, this raises a few questions, many of which can be answered by the website’s extremely helpful FAQ section.

The first question, of course: “When should I wear the Rapex?”

According to the website I should wear it when I: “travel long distances alone, on a train, working late, going out on a date with someone you don’t know too well, going to clubs, or in any situation that you might not feel comfortable or even just not sure.” So I guess I should just be practicing constant vigilance? At no point in my day should I forget that I– as the owner of a vagina–am always susceptible to rape, and this device will always allow me to have it in the back of my mind!

Secondly, how does this change my relationship with, ya know, the other half of the human race? Well, I know I don’t have to worry about my boyfriend being hooked, “unless you are in a violent relationship and you do get raped by your husband or partner. The choice is then yours whether to wear it or not. ” Whew! Thank you Rapex, for giving me that option!

So I guess I’m pretty much covered Rapex, thanks to your innovative thinking, and also thanks to answers based on questions like these: “What happens if my child finds it in the waste paper basket and sticks his finger into it?”, “Can this be worn during masturbation?”, and “What if I am asleep and someone enters my house and tries to rape me?”

I mean, they pretty much all have the same gist: wear our product 24-7 not out of fear but out of responsibility and a safeguard against the inherent viciousness of all men.

The only questions that really occurred to me that weren’t addressed on your site I’ll just post here and possibly you could get back to me on them?

Just how many light years does this set us back as far as the whole feminist movement thingey majig? I mean, I totally understand why we should revert to the dark ages and all women should live in constant fear of all men, and we’re all potential rape victims…but exactly, how many years (approx) are we exactly going back?

Another thing I came to ponder, was what inspired this brilliant stroke of genius? I know you don’t hate men (“just rape!”–a novel opinion, let me just say), but it seems sort of insulting to blanket-assume pretty much every Tom, Dick and Harry we pass by on the street is probably going to drag us into an alleyway and have their way with us (obviously to be prevented by your device, though.) I guess it’s no more insulting though, than helping us girls adapt to rape.

Yesterday, as I read One D At a Time, I couldn’t help but agree with the blogger’s thoughts on feminist vs feminist hateration. And her discussion of Camille Paglia’s theories on Date Rape as a new method of fear mongering couldn’t apply to anything more than they do to this. Look, I understand that rape is a real threat to all of us. But by insisting that we must assume responsibility “Simply because your body is sacred and it is your legal and moral right to be safe. Nobody can make you safe except you. You do not have to secure your home, equally you do not have to secure your body, however it is better if you do so,” you reiterate society’s subconscious implications that, in the end, it’s our fault we get raped.

Thoughts on these ideas, ladies? On Rapex itself?