Got room for some condoms in there?

OK, so you have your bedding, your towels, and your laptop; you think you’re ready to move off for your freshman year of college. Before you go, though, there are a couple of things that a freshman might not think to bring that will make dorm life a million times easier.

Take it from me, after 2 years in the dorms, I have this down to a science. Make room in those duffels, people; there are ten more things you’re going to have to squeeze in there.

#1 Tool Box
Yes, seriously, a tool box. My freshman year roommate had a brilliant aunt who bought her a mini tool kit as a high school graduation present (it was pink and girly). We used that thing more than anything else in the room. Yes, even our TV. Your bike break? A nail fall out of that little nightstand you bought from Ikea? Your ex leave something valuable at your place and you want to smash it? (JK….sorta.) You’ll have everything you need in that little box. Guys down the hall even borrowed our tools, so it’s even a social item!

#2 Condoms
This should just be common sense. Even if you don’t plan on having sex in college, you seriously never know what will happen, so be smart and prepare! The best part is that this one you don’t really even need to buy; most schools give them away for free at the student health center, so hop on over there and stock up.

#3 Duct Tape
This one is along the same lines as #1; it pretty much fixes anything. But beyond that, there’s some awesome stuff you can do with duct tape for really cheap room decor! I’ve seen everything from duct tape vases to closet doorway “beads.” Read More »

First there was douche. We let those commercials for vagina potpourri slide by, even though sucking out our precious woman fluids isn’t healthy. Then came the WaterWorks commercials, which literally advertise a mini showerhead you stick up your vaginal canal to rinse it (the technology was taken from chefs who use it to eliminate the odors of onions, fish and garlic. For real). Then wet wipes started popping up on toilet tanks nationwide. And now….the vagina mint.

Yes, an Altoid for your lady parts.

Linger, the company behind this crazy idea, has created a sweetened mint “which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused.” This slow releasing tablet freshens your…er…vagina breath (?) for up to 60 minutes so that “your partner will want to spend more time tasting the new you.”

And all I have to say is…. well, I have a lot to say.

“The new you”?! This isn’t a new me, it’s the old me with a mint shoved up my cooter. This whole “women need to be super self conscious about their vaginas” thing is getting old. If you shower on a regular basis, your vagina and its odor are completely fine. The secretions are natural, and necessary to keep our lady parts healthy. And I think it’s about time we love our vaginas, and all the natural juices that come with them. Read More »

As a semi-live-in girlfriend, I encounter all kinds of things in my boyfriend’s boudoir that he might have previously attempted to put away or hide to create a more presentable version of himself. Well those days are long gone and I am now subject to every dirty pair of boxers, week old Taco Bell leftover and wet, mildewed towel left on the bed. But these things I’m pretty much immune to. Guys’ rooms are almost by definition a hell of a lot dirtier than girls (at least I like to pretend) and all of these little things can be fixed with a load of laundry, a huge garbage bag and a little Febreeze.

But what are the kinds of things that you would never want to find in your guy’s room? Besides the very obvious (unrecognizable panties, bras, earrings, condom wrappers) I can name a few…

1. Super Creepy Porn.

You can pretty much accept the fact that there will be some form of porn in your guy’s room at some point. You can also be fairly sure that you will accidentally intercept said pornography via mail, browser history or that shoebox under his bed. (Tip: boys don’t want you to surprise them with spring cleaning; you probably shouldn’t want to surprise them with it either.) No big deal, I say, come to terms with the fact that while your guy absolutely loves hooking up with you, he will still want to look at porn. It’s just a different outlet for their sexuality and can actually improve your sex life when seen from the right perspective. Additionally, it’s a good substitute for when your boyfriend wants to get it on (always) and you don’t (rarely, but it happens). If there were no porn there would be an abnormally high amount of blue balls or of extremely exhausted girlfriends. Read More »