It is closing in on the cold, depressing months of winter after all, so let’s take a few deep breaths and maybe we can get through this together.

After all, aren’t you a little embarrassed to bring men home to your unwashed tattered sheets, thong strewn floor (actually that’s pretty hot…keep those there)? You’re in school, use your brain.

Let’s begin with the bed (that’s what she said).

I’ve seen a few different beds in my day and while 300 thread count sheets are so silky smooth they are definitely a little pricey. Never fear! There are a few other options than your classic green and blue checked flannel.

Unless you moonlight as a porn star, please avoid red satin sheets, there’s steamy and there’s sketchy and satin crosses the line in leaps and bounds. Buy these Twister sheets at www.stylehive.com and memorize this line. “How would you like to play a game of Twister…in my bed.”

Now that’s class.

Are your walls looking a little bare? You have a few different ways to go. A well placed tapestry tells the campus that you’re chill, down-to-earth, and probably have a little baggy of weed in your sock drawer.

Use a few posters from www.allposters.com as your soapbox to all inform all who dare enter your room how sweet you are. I recommend choosing one piece of art with sexual undertones- I’m fan of Picasso’s “Femme” for $20 and another highlighting you musical taste. Bonus points for smarm and or obscurity as in this little jem for $25.

Walls? Check. Now, if you haven’t already put up a few pictures from your glory days in high school, but not too many. You don’t want everyone to know that you peaked when you 17 and you probably won’t be squeezing into those size 2 jeans until you graduate and get away from the constant supply of delicious food. Don’t live in the past man, don’t live in the past.

Okay, you’re off to a good start. Your bed is made and your walls don’t completely resemble those of a minimum security prison. As soon as you throw in a few extras you’ll be ready to open up your space to friends and potential sexual partners.

Pick and choose from this list:

1. An exotic plant like a bright pink orchid or bird of paradise.

2. Tip jar for your bedside table. Humor is always sexy and you might get some quarters for laundry…

3. 6-pack of imported Hefeweizen from Belgium.

4. White Christmas lights to construct a make-shift chandelier, it looks so good if you do it right.

5. A few works to spice up your book shelf….the Vice Guide to Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll is on mine.

6. Couple of wine glasses, fill with hard candies. Practical and fruity. Add wine rack for bonus points.

7. Febreze baby, Febreze. When in doubt, pull the trigger, inhale the fresh scent.

• Are you ready for New Year’s 2008?

• HEY U R COOL <333!! Is this the way we’re dating now? Apparently, the answer is yes and we hate it.

• Zombies are coming!! Be prepared!! (Really!)

• This is the most adorable story involving Boy Scouts and helping and being prepared (zombies!) that I’ve read all week!

• Hey you! Stop being lazy, get off your ass, and clean out your life! Get with it!

• You have a boyfriend and we’re happy for you! But please, please don’t turn into this girl.

• I didn’t even know people still described themselves as “Goth”. Either way, it’s certainly not distracting.

I remember freshman year when I was stressed beyond all belief, had 2 midterms a day for 3 days, and basically stopped sleeping. By the end of day 2 my bed turned into a dumping ground for everything from clothes to empty food containers to looseleaf papers and textbooks. With nowhere to even entertain the idea of sleep, I very nearly had a mental breakdown.

So, while you may think it’s totally worth it to let the mess grow until it’s time to go home for Thanksgiving, these quick and easy organizing tips will keep you sane enough to get through midterms, finals and (most importantly) those Friday night impromptu pre-game sessions!

Step One: Get a (big) garbage can and USE it!

I don’t think you’re stupid but I am going to assume you’re lazy. So, this is why I say you must get a big garbage can and throw away everything you don’t need. Old notes, papers that are cluttering your desk, old chinese food containers. Get it out of the room!

You live in a virtual shoebox, right? It’s time to accept the fact that you only have room for the essentials: a bed, desk, that handle of Georgi that you’re hiding from the RA in the back of the closet. That’s it. Then? Take the trash out (regularly)!

Feel better yet?

Step Two: Everything has a place…keep it that way.

While it may seem like a daunting task, it’s time to organize your closet.

Unless you’re made of money and consider the girls of Gossip Girl to be fashion amateurs, this won’t take you more than an hour or two. You know why? Easy! The Great Closet Overhaul of 2007 doesn’t involve color coding your closet and labeling your shoe boxes, it simply requires you to gather up all of the piles of clothing around the room and make a place for them.

Buy some cheap hangers and start hanging! This means dresses, sweaters, blouses, belts, and dress pants. All of your t-shirts, sweat pants, underwear and jeans can go in drawers. And when it comes to laundry, use that pop-up clothes basket I know you own! FYI: dousing your dirty clothes in Febreze and letting them air out for a few hours doesn’t count as doing laundry (although it totally works in a pinch).

Step Three: Make your dorm your own.

This may sound contradictory to the whole de-clutter thing that I feel so strongly about, but in order to feel good about your dorm you have to make it feel like your home. What to do?

Read up on Feng Shui and make some simple adjustments to your room set-up. Find some novel ways to hang things on your wall (and I’m not talking about that James Dean poster everyone else has…). Hit two birds with one stone (clutter and decoration)!

When it comes down to it, what matters most is that you feel comfortable and clear-headed when you are in your room. Considering your dorm acts as a bedroom/living room/kitchen, it’s important to utilize the space and feel good about being there!

Not to mention, you’ll want to be ready when your hallmates come over for an unexpected visit.

Now tonight, take a few hours and make your room your own! You’ll thank me when you’re knee deep in Biology notes and all you want to do is take a nap!