Everyone has done it or at least thought about doing it. It’s dirty, it’s sneaky, and it’s best left to professionals.  What I’m talking about, of course, is the period excuse.

Women, being the fragile, emotional creatures that we are, are often incapable of simple activity due to the massive blood loss through our vaginas that happens once a month. You know, so when you park at a meter and don’t put money in, it’s obvs that you’re broke because of your “monthly bill.”

Wrong or right, using your period as an excuse works every time. At least when men are involved. And because thinking is hard when Mother Nature is visiting, we came up with a cheat sheet of excuses to use when you just can’t carry on functioning as a normal human being:

Work:

“I won’t be able to make it in today because I have a really heavy flow, which makes it difficult for me to answer the phone and type things.  You know.”

“I think I’m gonna have to leave early today.  I don’t have any tampons here at work. Would you like me to explain further?”

“I don’t think people would want their food served by someone who has been bleeding for 4 days.” Read More »