Aight, aight. Yo. Sorry, I had to do it…I’m going to try and make this brief because—let’s face it—American Idol has gotten a little old this season, and I’m sure we’re all tired of hearing about it. So let me start with the judges….

I know it’s not a fashion competition, but what the hell was Randy wearing? You know he thinks he’s a general in his own mind. Yes, I believe he loves himself that much. Paula—I’m sorry about the bruise on your face, but do you have a speech impediment? To me, she always sounds like she’s talking with a retainer in her mouth, but last night, maybe due to pain killers, it was even more pronounced. And she was obviously tired from her fall cause she was relatively quiet.

Simon—I love you just the way you are. Maybe with a few more buttons undone. I’m sorry that everyone boos you. You’re the only one that makes sense.

Jordin owned Blake last night. Owned. What Simon said about her wiping the floor with him on the last (kind of wretched, but not surprised it was picked) song? Totally true. She walked out on that stage and it was like she’d already won. She knew she had it. And I loved her dress. Read More »

So finals are over. Some of us will go on to enjoy many more semesters, while some of us are done college for good. Whatever the case, it’s time to kick off our shoes and get ready to P-A-R-T-Y.

Parties make for perfect opportunities to get to know your crush. And now that the semester is over and the pressures of finals and projects have been lifted, you can focus on reelin’ him in, if only for one night.

Maybe there’s a guy you’ve been checking out for months, but you just don’t know how to talk to him. You just can’t find the right words, and you find yourself speechless in his presence. Kinda like this scene from American Pie, of which I could only find the Spanish version, but it’s still just as hilarious, if not more with the dubs.

Whenever this sort of thing happens to me, I turn to one of my most favorite films for inspiration. It’s a film called Teen Witch, and it’s the epitome of a movie masterpiece. It came out in 1989, so you know there’s great hair styles, great wardrobes, and great dramatic performances. Read More »

The other day, I witnessed a horrifying event. I was at a pre – finals party, and despite tests and papers looming over everyone’s heads, the spirit was high — literally.

There were about 20 people there, including a precious chihuahua I’ll call Tony. Tony, although several years old, retained his puppyesque glow at a whopping four pounds. Since I didn’t know very many people at the party, Tony and I became fast friends, playing tug – of – war in a corner and waiting for my ride to want to leave.

Until… Tony’s owner stumbled over, scooped him up, put her mouth on his, and blew. Smoke. Into the little chihuahua. She gave Tony back to me, but he was a goner. He slumped over on the floor, catatonic — I guess he was transfixed by the awesome jams. “Yeah, Tony!” Everyone laughed. Read More »

Yesterday was my last day of classes– at 3:15 p.m., the year was over. Kind of. My professor thought it was, at least– he bid us adieu by saying, “Okay, then! Have a nice life!”

I wish. Regretfully, my life cannot really start until after this professor’s 3 hour, 3 essay final exam in two weeks.

If we were in grade school, we would be eating popsicles and going down the slip and slide right now. But for us, it is when classes end that the work really begins with finals. Perhaps the system could benefit from some reorganization, no? Springtime finals are just begging for you to fail them.

Sometimes, in order to escape finals purgatory, I daydream about the future, when I’m out of college and have a really sweet job doing something really cool for a ton of money. But then I came across this article in the Chronicle of Higher Education. Read More »

I’m forever fighting with the temperature of my coffee. I like my hot coffee moderately warm, but the second it starts to really cool off it begins to taste stale to me. Yuck. For iced coffee, I only handle the ice slightly melting before it becomes another yuck. I’m picky, what can I say?

My affinity for having my coffee exactly the way that I want it causes problems in my day to day life. Hot coffee cools off? Gotta take a break and put it in the microwave. Ice coffee melts? Gotta take a break and run to grab another one. And since I may quite literally have coffee running through my veins instead of blood, I find myself taking a substantial amount of breaks… making my level of productivity non existent. Cause after I get my coffee I need to Myspace for a little…. Read More »

We have all been there at one time or another- staring mindlessly at that long list of questions, still warm from the xerox machine, clueless and stupified. Am-i-right???

“I mean, I wanted to study, really, but there was this party, and there was this guy, and one thing led to another and here I sit- I am totally screwed.”

Well don’t beat yourself up too bad. You are not alone. Scribd.com has put together a collection of exam answers from students just like yourself, that for one reason or another, just didn’t get around to studying. Take a look, this will make you feel better.