Sex. We love it. We want it. All the time. Is that asking too much? In bed, on the floor, on the couch, in the shower, over the counter. You name the noun, I’ll give the appropriate preposition. I’m a fan of risky quickies. There’s something about that ‘get caught at any moment’ edge that really turns me on. But what kind of sex is the absolute best sex? America voted, and I think America got it right. Get the results here and tell us what your favorite type of sex is in the comments below!

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[lead image via Jason Stitt / Shutterstock]

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Dear Dude,

What do guys really think of sex on the first date? Is it a deal breaker? I feel like if you have a genuine connection with someone, and the sex is awesome, shouldn’t that make them want you more? Or does it completely take the fun out of the chase? I’ve had one long term relationship start out of sex on the first date. I’ve had other guys never call me again. What’s the deal?

Sincerely,

Screwed then screwed!

Dear Screwed then screwed!

Here’s the deal: I’ve never known of a man who found sex to be a deal breaker on the first date. If anything, it’s considered a minor miracle from the Heavens, and for some d-bags out there it’s an expectation, which kind of clarifies why I’m calling them d-bags.

There’s a lot more to the chase than just having sex. Don’t get me wrong, it can certainly enhance the chase. However! There are so many ways to have sex and in so many places, and some could argue getting a taste and then not getting the meal is even more enticing. I think it’s a guy to guy situation.

Do men respect women less if they can get laid on the first date? Maybe some. Is sex all a guy wants? Possibly. It’s certainly one of the things he’s thinking about over tortellini. There are other thoughts, like if his hair’s doing that cow lick thing or if he mentioned his love for animals enough…and your breasts, which doesn’t count as thinking about sex, it’s just something we think about that LEADS us to thinking about sex. Sorry, that clarification had to be made!

Your track record’s a spotty one with having sex on a first date, and if it’ll lead to more or less. My question is, what are you looking for on the first date? Are you having sex because you think he wants it or because you want it? If you’re doing it for you then, “Have at thee!” As Thor would put it. If you’re doing it because you’re trying to ensure a second date, then I would recommend trying to hold off and make it a 2, or the classic 3, date rule. Just don’t pull a Robin Scherbatzky and change your mind mid-date and think you need to shave your legs. The first time, if we’re focusing on what’s on your legs rather than what we’re doing in between them…there’s no picket fence in the future.

Be careful about looking for logic when asking the question “to f*ck or not to f*ck?” These aren’t logical actions, they’re primal. Awesome sex doesn’t mean you have an emotional connection yet. It means you could. It also might mean you just have sexual chemistry, or you were really horny. Generally assuming that if the sex is awesome, then he’d want to come back for seconds is illogical. It’s just not always reality. Remember, you’re looking at it through your eyes, and you can’t be certain how he’s looking at it through his.

The bottom line is this: If you’re not getting the results you want with the way you’ve been going about trying to get them, then it’s time to change things up. Change your policy or change the type of guy you’re going out with. The issue’s at the source either way.

Keep calm, and don’t blink!

The Dude

Is it a bad date? YES! And here are 11 ways you can figure that out. Some of these clues are subtle and some are not. We’ve all been on nightmare dates that you wish you could just teleport away from. But since you can’t actually call The Doctor to pick you up and teleporting won’t be invented for another, oh, let’s call it 30 years, you’ve got to figure out your emergency escape plans and put them into action the SECOND you notice any of the following:

1. He asks for a child’s menu and orders a child!
I think Charles Manson did this once. Not sure if it was pre-prison or post-incarceration.

2. He’s so excited to show you his court-ordered ankle tracker.
Run, run, run!

3. The first question he asks is “have you found Jesus yet?”
And you tell him, “no, do I look like Mel Gibson?” Seriously, we’re too old for that sh*t. Read More »

I’m obsessed with everything about Rihanna’s look on this month’s cover of Glamour. Her bright and bold red hair, her sexy halter top, those sequin pants, her gorgeous smile…one of the best covers in recent memory, for sure. As this is the September issue, the mag is about three times heavier than usual, which means there are three times as many ads to dig through to get to the actual content. That said, I did want nearly every piece of makeup and clothing featured, so I can’t really hate too hard this time around. That made up for the questionable articles in the issue.

The number one thing a guy wants in bed? Is a blowjob. Really? I am shocked and awed. I had no idea guys liked getting head. So disappointing, I thought they’d at least take  page out of Cosmo’s book and talk about doggy style or anal. There was a horrifying article about Female Genital Cosmetic Surgery, which is just as depressing as it sounds. G-spot collagen, vagina tightening and labia nip/tucks, among other procedures, were outlined. Because women really need another part of our bodies to be discontent with.

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So when I originally had the idea for this Weekly Ten my plan was to make a real list of first date faux pas – you know, like eating off your date’s plate and talking about the ex – but then I started thinking about it. None of these things have ever actually happened to me. And even if they did they wouldn’t even make the cut on the list of first date horror stories I’ve heard. I mean a date can recover from a little trip down memory lane, but it can’t recover from a date asking if he can take home your leftovers…

You think that’s bad? Just keep reading for some truly horrifying (and true!) first date faux pas.

10. Looking at other girls. Yes, guys have eyes. Yes, they’re attracted to women. Yes, it’s hard wired into them to seek out pretty girls in tiny garments. But there is a difference between subtly glancing at the woman next to you as she passes by and a guy openly gawking at that girl in the short dress so often that the guy serving your food tells him to cut it out. Happened to a friend of mine. True story ladies, true story.

9. Not understanding sarcasm. I don’t know if you ladies have noticed or not, but I am a very sarcastic person. It’s not my second language, but my first. It’s how I communicate. From me, snark is a form of love. So when a guy doesn’t understand that the opening of the Dunkin Donuts on my corner was not, in fact, the talk of the town for weeks we’ve got a bit of an issue, wouldn’t you say?

8. Insulting my major. Maybe not a major offense for most people. But it is for me. I am a proud English major, one who spends her free time reading and corrects people’s grammar in her head while they speak. I work hard in my classes and so do my classmates. So when upon answering the cliche “what’s your major” question with English, and receiving the response “Oh. That’s easy. I bet you never do any work” I was a tad bit insulted. Read More »

When it comes to wooing the opposite sex, men have it easy. As far as I know, they approach you and whip out the pick-up line. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

Women on the other hand, play a whole different game. Sometimes it seems as if our entire existence is based on impressing a guy. And it’s exhausting. We don’t think about it often (or we argue that we’re doing these things for ourselves as much as for the men), but when you stop and take notice of all the things we do to woo the gentlemen, well, it’s absurd:

1. Padded Bras
Guys have been trained to like a nice set of boobs, and women have been trained to do anything to give them to them. Hell, that must be Victoria’s Secret. But push-up bras are often uncomfortable, expensive and so. effing. hard. to wash without totally ruining them. And yet we wear them. All the time. In fact, you’re probably wearing one right now.

2. High Heels
Although I do enjoy how I feel when I slip on some pumps and strut my shiz at the bar, I don’t enjoy the throbbing blisters that plague me. And they always plague me. But I wear those torture devices every weekend anyway, because while it would be far more comfortable, there’s nothing sexy to the campus boys about a pair of worn-in sweatpants and some flip flops. Read More »

Ahhhhh, the first date.  It can be the start of something great or can easily take a quick turn down the crapper.  You may have thought the date went as perfect as can be, but if Mr. Lover Boy hasn’t called you back for another one in over three days, chances are it didn’t.

Instead of sitting there overanalyzing every single detail of the date and what could have gone wrong (like we all do), I’ll make it simple for you. Here are the mistakes everyone makes on their first date and what you can do to avoid them.

1. Not dressing for the occasion. If you’re going to a baseball game, don’t wear stiletto heels. If you’re going out to eat somewhere nicer than McDonald’s, change out of your sweats. It’s as simple as that. And if you’re Lady Gaga, obviously no rules apply to you.

How to Avoid Making the Mistake: Make sure you know where you’re going on the date. If it’s a surprise, it’s always better to play it safe and wear something casual. Not too sloppy, not too dressy.

2. Talking about exes. Talking about ex-boyfriends isn’t just annoying on dates— it’s annoying all the time. 3 words: Get. Over. It. And if you can’t, maybe you shouldn’t be dating quite yet. If you do decide it’s time to enter the wonderful world of dating, make sure you keep the conversation far away from ex-land. No guy wants to sit and listen to you whine about how his eyebrows aren’t groomed as well as your ex-boyfriend’s.

Read More »

In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

So you’re in the middle of a particularly “blah” dinner date and your date launches into (yet another) story about quail season and you’re about to give up all hope and consider joining a convent just so you’ll never have to put yourself through this kind of cruel and unusual punishment ever again.

Look, I know where you’re coming from. You start to drink heavily standing by the reasoning that if your date refuses to have a personality, you’ll just have to let the liquor create one for him. You keep glancing at your cell wondering why your best friend has yet to call with your routine emergency date rescue call. We’ve all been there. It’s those nights that being single gets such a bad rep.

So why is that after such awful dates we still waver when considering a follow-up date?

Lesson 8: Trust your instincts. Read More »

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