I love everything about Mardi Gras. It’s one of those days that makes day-drinking on a Tuesday completely acceptable and encourages us to eat the most disgustingly greasy (read: most delicious) food that we can. Whether or not you participate in the religious side of the event (it’s a chance to eat whatever you want before Lent starts), we can all agree that a day dedicated solely to partying and indulgence is heaven sent.

But one thing I’ve never understood about Fat Tuesday is the new tradition of women flashing men for plastic beads. There is a good history behind the beads–in the 1960s beads, along with other things like doubloons and small toys, were thrown from parade floats. But when, and why, are women showing their t*ts to strangers for them?

I mean, I guess I get it. Women have been using their sexuality to get things for ages; if showing a little more cleavage didn’t get me free drinks at bars, I would wear a t-shirt every night out. But really? Giving away the goods for some plastic beads that cost $1 for 50 strands? I’d rather save my boobies for something else, buy myself some beads, and call it a night. Plus, there are cameras everywhere and ending up in a compilation like this would make great conversation around campus.

Sometimes though, there are opportunities out there that are worth showing off what your momma (or Heidi’s fave plastic surgeon) gave you; here are five things we’d definitely flash for. Read More »

While Mardi Gras may certainly be cause to celebrate, there are probably some Mardi Gras traditions that should never leave New Orleans. If you plan on enjoying some Mardi Gras festivities on your campus today, keep these things in mind:

Flashing your girls is a bad idea, no matter what the reason. Whether it’s to score some beads that the frat guys are carrying around campus, at the guy at the front of the line at the cafeteria so he’ll let you cut in front of him, or to your professor in the hopes of scoring an A.  Also, don’t carry around armfuls of beads and hurl them at any girl wearing a low-cut top unless you want to get bitch-slapped.

Boozing on the way to class is a bad idea. Although drinking on the streets is totally normal in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, you probably won’t be able to get away with that excuse if you try to follow suit on campus today.  Also, don’t try to turn your roommates’ food at breakfast into a makeshift King Cake.  She probably won’t appreciate it when she goes to bite into her fruit salad and comes down on a hard plastic baby instead. Read More »

It started like any other night. My roommates and I were too lazy to cook anything and too cold to leave the house for carry-out, so we ordered in some good greasy Chinese food. As the eight of us gathered around our kitchen table to dig in, I looked outside and noticed someone standing in the dark out on the driveway we shared with our next door neighbors.

“Look, Matt’s outside on the phone,” I called the rest of my roommates to the window.

The next door neighbors were a group of 8 boys that we were really close to. Seeing neighbor Matt outside, my roommates and I immediately started banging on the window and waving at him. Matt turned to look at us and we screamed and knocked a little harder. I started laughing; Matt was staring at us pretending to masturbate. [No, there is no really fun way to put that. And yes, it was really funny at the time.]

“I don’t think he’s pretending, Lauren” My roommate looked at me, concerned.

“Um. I don’t think that’s Matt,” another of my roommates chimed in. Read More »