I wish someone would have taken that bottle of cran away...

I’d consider myself a seasoned formal veteran. As such, I have acquired a bit of wisdom as far as formal do’s and dont’s. Whether you are a freshman going to formals for the first time or even a senior not affiliated in the Greek circuit, I have chosen a recent and epic failure at Greek formal-ing that will hopefully teach you from my mistakes… or at least give you a good laugh.

The Blind Date

Blind dates are quite common in the formal world. Twice now I have agreed to help out a friend of a friend who “just can’t get a date.” This would be the red flag for most girls – why on earth can’t this dude nab a date?! -  but I, blinded by naivete and the prospect of free food and drinks, always acquiesce. My second transgression was just a few weeks ago. We get to the place, which happened to be a $30 cab ride away, making my chances of leaving slim to hitchhiking. We pre-gamed in a hotel room, where my date doted on me. And by “doted,” I mean basically poured booze down my throat. I even started pouring drinks down the drain out of fear of being too drunk around strangers. (Go me!)

We get to the formal and since he planned it, he left me every 5 minutes to “take care of things.” He couldn’t get me a wristband for whatever reason but brought me a flask of vodka (red flag #2). I decided to have a little chat with him about expectations, which was me conveying my disinterest in anything but “cutesy dancing” and eating and drinking. As well as I thought that went, when we got to the dance floor it was obvious that “cutesy dancing” did not register on his radar, or that maybe he thought grinding me against a wall was cute. Read More »

I am a notorious people watcher and window shopper.  Whenever I’m walking around, I’m constantly evaluating the products I see.  For example, if I see a pair of shoes in the window of a store, I pick out three outfits in my head that I could wear them with.  Same goes for electronics, appliances, etc. – I always imagine when or where I could be using them.

The other day I was taking a little stroll through the city and I passed by the window of a baby store.  I had to stop because there is a lot of useful stuff in there!  I mean, who hasn’t been on an epic shopping trip, loaded with bags and stumbling on your swollen feet, and glared at the toddler being pushed around in the stroller?  I want a stroller!  Unfortunately, most things in a baby store are pretty mini.  But what if they weren’t??

Pacifiers - For the people that need some comfort in their lives!  Instead of eating while bored, just suck on a pacifier.  Same goes for drinking.  It could solve so many problems!  And when your girlfriends get a bit sloppy at the bar, just shove one of these in their mouths to protect them from their verbal diarrhea. Or putting something else in there…

Cribs -  Who hasn’t rolled out of bed on occasion? Especially after a night of debauchery? Cribs would solve everything!  Plus, they come with neat little gadgets and art pieces.  Set me up in an adult crib with a holder for my computer, phone, and adult pacifier and I’ll be set like a jet. Read More »

Every college library is similar – always too hot or too cold, smells kind of bad but you aren’t sure why, phrases etched into the tables, and a mixed population of students either writing on each others’ Facebook walls or writing 20 page term papers in a single night.

Good times!

I used to be very anti-library (who isn’t), but this semester I have found ways to make it more comfortable, enjoyable and conducive to a productive day/evening/month of work-doing. It’s all about being prepared (for anything) and as long as you have these essentials in that backpack of yours, you can be successful too.

Water bottle: This seems obvious but you’d be surprised. I once pulled an all-nighter without bringing a water bottle and because I was so into the work I was doing, I never felt like going to get water. Stupid mistake! I got tired and sick, and spent my night drooling on my laptop instead of researching on it. The next time I filled that sucker up a few times per hour, got everything done, and felt great the next day. Also, drinking only coffee, tea or Red Bull (or Bawls...) will almost definitely dehydrate you, cause you to crash sooner than without caffeine and probably give you a terrible stomachache (which may explain that weird smell in the libs….).

Personal hygiene products: I’ll admit that I’m a little weird when it comes to hygiene – I carry toothbrushes with me wherever I go – but I highly suggest anyone going to the library for an extended period of time should have at least a toothbrush thrown in their backpack. Some other products that always come in handy for me are hand sanitizer, lotion, tissues, chapstick, and deodorant. Trust me, it’s better for everyone if you smell like a “Satin Pear” (whatever that is) than whatever 10 hours in a dirty library smells like for a 9:35 Italian class! Read More »

Spring Break is right around the corner, and I’m hoping to escape from the freezing winter temperatures on a warm, sunny beach somewhere. If you’re headed to the beach like me, make sure you bring all the essentials with you:

1. Sunglasses - With the sun reflecting off the ocean and the sand, you need dark shades to protect your eyes. Plus, you can check out the hotties playing football down by the water without looking like a total creep.

2. A magazine or trashy novel – It’ll keep you entertained when you’re lounging in the sun, and it’s also a good way to look like you’re doing something else when you’re really staring at afore-mentioned hotties.

3. Sunblock – Again, seems totally obvious, but the LAST thing you want is to come back from your vacay looking like a lobster. Not to mention that you’re putting yourself in danger for skin cancer without it!

4. Beach-friendly makeup -If you can’t go out without makeup, even at the beach, know that your regular makeup routine isn’t going to hold up to the heat, sand, and water, so just keep it simple with some basics: tinted moisturizer (don’t forget the SPF!) and tinted lip balm or an all-over color stick to keep you looking fresh and naturally pretty all day (like this one from E.L.F.).

5. A cute cover-up – A tunic or minidress is perfect, because it’s small enough to fit into your bag, and you can throw on over your bathing suit if you and your friends decide to browse the beachside shops or grab some much needed margaritas. Read More »

After far too long without college football, I took a trip back up to my old school to watch the first game of the season. I figured my friend and I would grab some lunch at our favorite restaurant, watch the game from the non student section with her parents, and head home when the day was over.

Upon arriving on campus we immediately headed to lunch where we began our meal with a Bloody Mary and some Mojitos. It was at that moment that I realized our leisurely Saturday afternoon was going to be anything but.

The combination of the rum pumping through my veins and my excitement at being back on campus got me feeling all nostalgic. I missed campus, I missed my friends, and, most of all, I missed getting completely sh*tcanned before a football game.

So we followed our hearts and decided to do it up college style.

I chugged Franzia with some frat boys (“BABIES! You can’t chug for your life!”), downed Boones Farm with my friends – and that was before we even left the lawn. I had a 40 on my way to the game, which I shared with some random band playing on a porch that belonged to people I did not know. And I sang bad 80’s songs into the mic. Read More »

I’ve simply never been the best with saving money. While I do always pay my bills on time and never go hungry, I am still fundamentally pretty hedonistic and tend to ‘blow’ any extra money I’ve got on anything shiny, fun, or alcoholic.

Nonetheless, I’ve learned to actually save money in recent years. I’ve learned that there are things I do WANT (that cater to my hedonism) that require saved money. So, I’ve cut back on some things that used to completely drain my wallet and saved more than you can imagine. Here are 5 tips if you’d like to do the same:

REPLACE YOUR ENERGY DRINKS WITH COFFEE. FROM HOME.

I have a serious caffeine addiction. It’s not cute; it’s tormenting. The worst part is that I truly do prefer a sugar free Red Bull to a cup of coffee. But I’ve learned to cut back. At $2-$3 a can, my energy drinks can be shelved for the most *crucial* of days…which is not, contrary to my previous beliefs, every single day of the week. Now I brew my own iced coffee every morning and use a box of splenda to get over my sugar fears. It absolutely does the trick and I’ve saved at least $45 a month doing this. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 40

Mood: Been better

“What’s up?”

Laughing, Sasha let Naima lead him over to Crystal and I. The speakers were booming, people were shouting, and my head was swimming. Everyone around me was drunk. Everyone around me was having a fantastic time at the first dance of the year.

But I was stone cold sober. And panicking. And inches away from the boy I was in love with.

“Grace seriously has something to tell you.” Naima laughed, looking at me and winking the most obvious wink anyone has ever seen in their life. “She would have called you over here herself but she’s too shy!”

Wiping a patch of sweaty hair from his forehead, Sasha looked at me and smiled. The way his eyes landed lazily on my face made it pretty obvious that he was in the same condition as my friends. “What’s up, Grace? You’re shy?”

“No! Naima is just grabbing anyone she can!” I yelled over the rumbling bass and did my best to mimic the sloshing movements of everyone else around me. Just because I wasn’t drunk didn’t mean I couldn’t pretend.

“She is?” Sasha tried to turn to find her, but Naima and Crystal were back next to the wall a few feet away, covertly sharing Crystal’s flak. “That’s pretty weird, huh?” Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 34

Current Mood: Anxious

“Grace!”

Naima grabbed me and screamed into my ear, doing her best shout over the booming speakers. Crystal and I had found a corner to stand in off to the side of the student center, a small alcove to watch hundreds of sweaty people gyrate and generally make fools of themselves in the name of Friday night.

“It’s packed tonight! Dances usually aren’t!” Crystal reached into her pocket and pulled out a small metal flask. “It’s because it’s the first one, I bet!” Unscrewing the top, Crystal passed her flask to me.

“What’s in this?” I held it slightly behind my back, nervous about who might see.

“Just straight vodka.” Crystal squinted into the crowd, holding a hand over the ear closest to the giant speakers. “It tastes horrible, but whatever. Does the trick!”

Naima reached behind my back and took the flask, smiling and putting it to her lips. “Bottoms up!” She shouted, taking a huge gulp.

I waited for the inevitable grimace, but nothing came. Naima just continued to smile and put the flask covertly back in my hand. Read More »

Unless you’re a terribly unfortunate soul, I suspect at some point in the next three months you’ll find yourself enjoying the great outdoors, perhaps lounging on the beach in your new bikini, hitting a few balls at the driving range, or having a romantic picnic with your summer boy-toy.

Unlike far sweeter countries like Germany we can’t drink outdoors here, which is a crying shame if you ask me. While I wish I could spend my summer drinking beers on the subway in Berlin (only the best way to pre-game ever), I’m stuck in the USA, for better or worse, until I can raise some much needed capital to get me out of here and canoodling with manly Deutsch men and their oh so alluring accents.

So in the meantime, I thought I’d share a few good ways to still get buzzed while working on your tan. No brown bags either—looking like a hobo has never been in style, unless you count the grungy 90s I suppose… Read More »