There is always that one friend that is the sparkler at every party. And I mean every party, because she never misses one. Infamous for dancing on tables and singing louder than the rest when Miley’s “Party in the USA” comes on, she’s a party animal and you love her just the way she is. She’s the one you call to find out the best pregame, party and after-party for the night. So really, you owe her.

If you need help finding the perfect present for the party animal in your life, here are some helpful gift ideas for the girl who loves life… and loves it a lot more when there’s booze involved.

Do-it-yourself ice luge: For my 21st birthday, my mom bought me an ice luge mold. Little did she know just how big of hit it was when broken out at my birthday party. Nothing better than pouring cheap vodka down a icy slide. Your friend will love having a personal ice luge at her disposal, and it will only make her parties that much more fun for the rest of you. And if she’s a little saucy, try this one.

Personalized Flask: Every party animal needs their own flask. And this one from Urban Outfitters may be perfect for the party whore in your life. It holds her sauce and gets her home at the end of the night. Because who wants some ugly ID bracelet wreckin’ her style?

Beer Can Wraps: We all know the dangers of drinking in public. Pesky law enforcement. Because you don’t want to see your friend in jail anytime soon, get her these handy beer can wraps so she can drink her beer in peace. “Skunkpiss” and “Mountain Spew” are my favorites.

Shot Glass Checkerboard Set: Checkers has never been more thrilling. It will quickly become your friend’s favorite pregame activity. Be warned, however. Strategy flies right out the window after your first few jumps.

Martini Mixer: Bed, Bath & Beyond will surprise you with the amount of gifts they have aimed at having a good and boozy weekend. (They should change their name to Bed, Bath and Boozehound.) Let your friend get her 007 on with this Electric Martini Mixer. Shaken, stirred or right from the mixer, she’ll thank you for this new-found toy.

The Ultimate Beer Bong: Because no party animal likes to drink alone, the Octobong is the perfect present. Drinking beer from a funnel at a very fast pace is truly a bonding experience, believe me. Nothing says friendship more than an eight-person beer bong.

Power Hour Program: Being friends with a party animal is sure to drain your bank account; nights out on the town aren’t free, ya know. So if you’re looking for something cheap and easy to get your friend, download this awesome power hour program on her computer. Using her favorite songs from her iTunes, you two can host a rockin’ power hour pregame for next to nothing, excluding the price of beer, of course.

How to Cure a Hangover: I’ve never met a person who was immune to hangovers. While your party animal friend may have their own homemade-hangover cure, I think it’s best to leave it to the people who know best. How to Cure a Hangover: The Best Remedies from the World’s Greatest Bartenders by Andrew Irving is sure to help your friend through some of her worst hangover woes.

Asahi Beerbot: If you’re going in on this gift with friends, or if you’ve got the money to spend and you REALLY like this friend, the Asahi Beerbot is perhaps the coolest gadget I’ve ever seen. First of all, it’s a robot. A robot that you can program with a voice. And he will store and keep your beer cold until you decide to crack one open. But it doesn’t stop there! The Beerbot will pour it in a glass mug for you! Dying. I think I’d be tempted to buy this for myself before giving it away.

And the one thing that all party animals should have in their back pocket..

Portable breathalyzer: It’s better they test themselves than have an officer of the law do it for them, if you know what I’m saying.

I wish someone would have taken that bottle of cran away...

I’d consider myself a seasoned formal veteran. As such, I have acquired a bit of wisdom as far as formal do’s and dont’s. Whether you are a freshman going to formals for the first time or even a senior not affiliated in the Greek circuit, I have chosen a recent and epic failure at Greek formal-ing that will hopefully teach you from my mistakes… or at least give you a good laugh.

The Blind Date

Blind dates are quite common in the formal world. Twice now I have agreed to help out a friend of a friend who “just can’t get a date.” This would be the red flag for most girls – why on earth can’t this dude nab a date?! -  but I, blinded by naivete and the prospect of free food and drinks, always acquiesce. My second transgression was just a few weeks ago. We get to the place, which happened to be a $30 cab ride away, making my chances of leaving slim to hitchhiking. We pre-gamed in a hotel room, where my date doted on me. And by “doted,” I mean basically poured booze down my throat. I even started pouring drinks down the drain out of fear of being too drunk around strangers. (Go me!)

We get to the formal and since he planned it, he left me every 5 minutes to “take care of things.” He couldn’t get me a wristband for whatever reason but brought me a flask of vodka (red flag #2). I decided to have a little chat with him about expectations, which was me conveying my disinterest in anything but “cutesy dancing” and eating and drinking. As well as I thought that went, when we got to the dance floor it was obvious that “cutesy dancing” did not register on his radar, or that maybe he thought grinding me against a wall was cute.

He later asked me to accompany him to the hotel room, and I politely declined (and threw up in my mouth a little bit). Looking defeated, he hugged me (an attempt to lure me into his bed, I presume) and ended up giving me a nice cigarette burn in the process. Once that wound is gone, I hope to completely forget that formal, but I know that little round scar with be a lifelong reminder to never return to another formal again.

But even though I was scarred for life (literally), there is some good to come from this. Namely, the lessons I will pass onto you:

Lesson 1: Your best bet is to bring a “friend”

Unless you are hooking up with someone, bring a friend and set the terms before you go. “Wanna be my date to formal, you know, go as just friends?” Formals are like the older, slutty cousin of Prom; they can be a fantastic dance party extravaganza, or the longest, most awkward night of your life if you do not properly set the terms with your date.

Lesson 2: Though the drinks will be flowing, be classy

Some of the most fun formals will be hosted by fraternities that can get away with having an open bar and tons of minors. Not coincidentally, some of my most embarrassing moments in life have occurred at or after these events. No matter how good the song is, avoid break dancing, doing a split, or really any type of dance-off – you will be photographed…and tagged. Don’t skip the food to have more time and room to drink – it has never ended well for me or any sloptart I have seen do it.

Lesson 3: Hooking up with your date’s “brother” has consequences

I had a friendship ruined because of a guy bringing me as a potential hookup when I thought we were friends, and me blatantly “mingling” with his brother in front of his face. Oops! Thanks, ice luge. Chances are, if you end up with another brother and are hoping it remains a secret, it definitely won’t. Frat boys are just as gossipy as your average girl and even use their chapter email servers to send embarrassing or funny (or “fratty”) emails to and the all the bros. The truth will come out!

Lesson 4: Bring a Water Bottle

Those long bus or cab rides back are brutal after 6 hours of open bar heaven. Come prepared. Most bus companies charge $500 or more if someone hurls on the seats, and one wrong splash could get you blacklisted from fraternity events for.e.verrrrr.

That’s all for now – I am officially formal jaded!

The other day I was taking a little stroll through the city and I passed by the window of a baby store.  I had to stop because there is a lot of useful stuff in there!  I mean, who hasn’t been on an epic shopping trip, loaded with bags and stumbling on your swollen feet, and glared at the toddler being pushed around in the stroller?  I want a stroller!  Unfortunately, most things in a baby store are pretty mini.  But what if they weren’t??

Pacifiers - For the people that need some comfort in their lives!  Instead of eating while bored, just suck on a pacifier.  Same goes for drinking.  It could solve so many problems!  And when your girlfriends get a bit sloppy at the bar, just shove one of these in their mouths to protect them from their verbal diarrhea. Or putting something else in there…

Cribs -  Who hasn’t rolled out of bed on occasion? Especially after a night of debauchery? Cribs would solve everything!  Plus, they come with neat little gadgets and art pieces.  Set me up in an adult crib with a holder for my computer, phone, and adult pacifier and I’ll be set like a jet.

Leashes - Baby leashes are adorable.  Put one on a drunk adult and it just becomes necessary, especially for those friends who tend to wander when intoxicated. They would be exceptionally useful at crowded concerts, in a foreign city, at clubs, etc.  Some of them even come with a cute little cartoon-themed backpack (so it doesn’t look so cruel), which would be perfect for storing an emergency flask.

Bibs - Although I love wearing white, it is the bane of my existence.  I either have to avoid eating and drinking entirely when I wear it or just hope I’m magically less clumsy/sloppy on that particular day.  Bibs would completely eradicate this fear and give me the confidence to wear white and enjoy life! Yeah, bibs!

Diapers – Ok, so these do come in adult sizes, but that doesn’t mean they are socially acceptable. I don’t really have any particular need for diapers (in fact, the concept grosses me out), but I have thought on occasion that really, extremely drunk people could use them.  It’s better than peeing/pooing in the street/in the cab/on my carpet, no?  Yes…yes it is.

Ride On Carry On – This nifty little contraption is the solution to all my airport woes.  When going on vacation, I can just strap this sucker on my boyfriend’s carry-on luggage and have him wheel me through the terminal.  I could totally handle a 5am flight if someone just pulled me around while I was unconscious.  I wonder if this thing can be hooked onto anything else?  You know, like the back of a strapping young lad to carry me home when my stilettos hurt too much to take another step.

Every college library is similar – always too hot or too cold, smells kind of bad but you aren’t sure why, phrases etched into the tables, and a mixed population of students either writing on each others’ Facebook walls or writing 20 page term papers in a single night.

Good times!

I used to be very anti-library (who isn’t), but this semester I have found ways to make it more comfortable, enjoyable and conducive to a productive day/evening/month of work-doing. It’s all about being prepared (for anything) and as long as you have these essentials in that backpack of yours, you can be successful too.

Water bottle: This seems obvious but you’d be surprised. I once pulled an all-nighter without bringing a water bottle and because I was so into the work I was doing, I never felt like going to get water. Stupid mistake! I got tired and sick, and spent my night drooling on my laptop instead of researching on it. The next time I filled that sucker up a few times per hour, got everything done, and felt great the next day. Also, drinking only coffee, tea or Red Bull (or Bawls...) will almost definitely dehydrate you, cause you to crash sooner than without caffeine and probably give you a terrible stomachache (which may explain that weird smell in the libs….).

Personal hygiene products: I’ll admit that I’m a little weird when it comes to hygiene – I carry toothbrushes with me wherever I go – but I highly suggest anyone going to the library for an extended period of time should have at least a toothbrush thrown in their backpack. Some other products that always come in handy for me are hand sanitizer, lotion, tissues, chapstick, and deodorant. Trust me, it’s better for everyone if you smell like a “Satin Pear” (whatever that is) than whatever 10 hours in a dirty library smells like for a 9:35 Italian class!

Oh and don’t forget the gum! Studies show that chewing gum helps jog memory and you are much better off bringing your own than being forced to bum it off someone you may or may not of (you just aren’t sure…) hooked up with freshman year (FML).

Electronic accessories: Bring them all. There is nothing worse than having your computer die halfway (or 90%) through a paper, or your cell phone dying and not being able to text your friend about which book you were supposed to have read for Competitive Authoritarianism in the Middle East (Oops?). You are also going to want to throw in a pair of (noise canceling) earphones to block out the loud whispers, Swine Flu sneezing fits and vibrating cell phones of those (RUDE) people around you. If listening to your favorite jams distracts you, set up a Pandora station with Ludwig Van Beethoven or any other classical music that will give you some relaxing surround sound.

Fruit*: The natural sugar in fruit will pep you up a little bit and not make you too full when you are working diligently in the library. Sometimes when I don’t feel like eating anything (which rarely ever occurs) fruit is less daunting than say, a sandwich, and makes you feel healthier than devouring a bag of peach rings. The asterisk next to fruit stands for whatever the hell Starbucks sells in the middle of the night when the last fruit cup is sold. If they don’t have fruit, go for something that has fiber or protein. Scones, bagels and other carby snacks will give you a quick fix, but aren’t what you need for the long haul on that paper (or your FB Scrabble game).

Protection: A very sophisticated study was done (aka a group of my friends chatting last week) and turns out, many students have fantasized about/have had/would be willing to have sex in a library. Put these curious students together with a desperate need for procrastination and a relatively isolated spot in the stacks, and well, all I can say is throw some of these guys in your bag too…

Parka/Bathing Suit/Etc.: I am quite certain that they put the temperature on random numbers each day just to keep the students on their toes. If you cannot personally adapt to arctic or tropical studying conditions at the drop of a hat, I’d say prepare. Just yesterday my library was pumping heat into the study rooms and it was 92 degrees outside. Trust me, I wish I had that bathing suit… and one of those ghetto sprinklers to play in while I did my Italian homework.

“Going out clothes”/supplies: Many a time, I or people I know, will spend obscene amounts of time working on a very important assignment, all the while fighting the urge to party. My post-assignment celebrations are kind of like the carrot that keeps me going and my GPA where it is supposed to be. Best to be prepared. Throw a few evening essentials (accessories, shoes, makeup, flask?) into your bag for a quick change in the bathroom. Just please do not wear your leopard stilettos and “club wear” to the library; even my earphones can’t cancel out the sound of bangles running across a desktop.

I hope I helped you pack your backpack for the library. While I (attempt to) joke a lot, seriously take care of yourself during finals. Keep eating, sleeping and getting fresh air – humans need those things! If you have major procrastination problems, consider deactivating your Facebook account during this time, or, better yet, try not to bring your computer at all if you can help it! Happy studying.

Time for me to fill up my water bottle and get to the ‘brary.

1. Sunglasses - With the sun reflecting off the ocean and the sand, you need dark shades to protect your eyes. Plus, you can check out the hotties playing football down by the water without looking like a total creep.

2. A magazine or trashy novel – It’ll keep you entertained when you’re lounging in the sun, and it’s also a good way to look like you’re doing something else when you’re really staring at afore-mentioned hotties.

3. Sunblock – Again, seems totally obvious, but the LAST thing you want is to come back from your vacay looking like a lobster. Not to mention that you’re putting yourself in danger for skin cancer without it!

4. Beach-friendly makeup -If you can’t go out without makeup, even at the beach, know that your regular makeup routine isn’t going to hold up to the heat, sand, and water, so just keep it simple with some basics: tinted moisturizer (don’t forget the SPF!) and tinted lip balm or an all-over color stick to keep you looking fresh and naturally pretty all day (like this one from E.L.F.).

5. A cute cover-up – A tunic or minidress is perfect, because it’s small enough to fit into your bag, and you can throw on over your bathing suit if you and your friends decide to browse the beachside shops or grab some much needed margaritas.

6. Antibacterial Wipes – There is nothing worse than rubbing the sand out of your eyes only to realize you rubbed the SPF right into them.  Eliminate the burn by wiping off those hands after you slather on the sunscreen.

7. Tissues/T.P. – Laugh at me if you will, but who knows that those public restrooms have in store for you. Do you want to drip dry in a bikini? I think not.

8. Ziploc baggies – For everything from your wet swimsuit to protecting your precious iPhone from the sand.

9. A flask - What? It’s spring break!

10. Snacks – Whatever is in that flask is bound to give you the munchies. Besides, beach-side restaurants and shops charge a boatload of money for a bag of chips, so bring your own. If you don’t end up eating them, someone will, making you the most popular lady on the beach.

Upon arriving on campus we immediately headed to lunch where we began our meal with a Bloody Mary and some Mojitos. It was at that moment that I realized our leisurely Saturday afternoon was going to be anything but.

The combination of the rum pumping through my veins and my excitement at being back on campus got me feeling all nostalgic. I missed campus, I missed my friends, and, most of all, I missed getting completely sh*tcanned before a football game.

So we followed our hearts and decided to do it up college style.

I chugged Franzia with some frat boys (“BABIES! You can’t chug for your life!”), downed Boones Farm with my friends – and that was before we even left the lawn. I had a 40 on my way to the game, which I shared with some random band playing on a porch that belonged to people I did not know. And I sang bad 80’s songs into the mic.

I heckled people on my way to the game, took a swig from some random kid’s flask and stole a hot dog from the stand right outside of the stadium. We eventually made it to the game and as I sat in the hot sun watching my team lose (which wasn’t painful enough already), I patiently awaited the hangover from hell.

But the hangover never came! So, naturally, my friend and I decided to keep going. We stopped for some much needed pizza and nachos, picked up some more Boones and headed out for round 2 (in our sweaty game day clothes).

I drank more college kids under the table (a fact I am quite proud of) and even busted out my killer dance moves. I was feeling great. “I STILL GOT IT!” I screamed to anyone who would listen.

But now it is Monday. And I can’t get out of bed. In fact, I have only gotten up twice since returning from my College Day in Ann Arbor and that was to puke and to hydrate. My legs hurt. My arms hurt. My liver hurts.

Staring at the ceiling while a little man in my head hammers away on my skull I have come to a realization: I don’t still got “it,” unless “it” is a massive hangover.

I may be good at some things, but drinking like a college kid is not one of them. I tip my hat to you, college ladies. Enjoy your last night of Welcome Week and be sure to drink some boxed wine for me. I’ll be here watching 90210 reruns on Soap Net and willing myself out of bed.

Nonetheless, I’ve learned to actually save money in recent years. I’ve learned that there are things I do WANT (that cater to my hedonism) that require saved money. So, I’ve cut back on some things that used to completely drain my wallet and saved more than you can imagine. Here are 5 tips if you’d like to do the same:

REPLACE YOUR ENERGY DRINKS WITH COFFEE. FROM HOME.

I have a serious caffeine addiction. It’s not cute; it’s tormenting. The worst part is that I truly do prefer a sugar free Red Bull to a cup of coffee. But I’ve learned to cut back. At $2-$3 a can, my energy drinks can be shelved for the most *crucial* of days…which is not, contrary to my previous beliefs, every single day of the week. Now I brew my own iced coffee every morning and use a box of splenda to get over my sugar fears. It absolutely does the trick and I’ve saved at least $45 a month doing this.

DRINK FOR FREE. (or cheaply)

Okay. You can’t drink for free in every city, but you can plan ahead. Using websites like myopenbar.com will get you drinking for free in cities like New York and Los Angeles. For everyone else out there, take note of the happy hours near you. Plan your drinking around these sort of things! Don’t fool yourself into believing that $8 for a glass of wine is ok. Screw that. Get a bottle and drink it with your friends before you head out to the concert…or lecture. And remember that flask you got as a joke for your birthday that one year? Yeah. Use it. Learning to combat my drinking spending has saved me an incredible amount of money. I’d say that it saves me about $200 a month these days.

YOUR FOOD SPLURGES… LETS TALK.

You don’t have to always meet your friends for dinner. That kinda stuff adds up! There’s nothing wrong at all with meeting for coffee, or dessert, or coffee AND dessert. If you’re trying to save money, tell your friends you’ll be late to dinner but you can join them for dessert. This way, you’ll be spending $5-$10 instead of $15-$40. Learning to choose my dinner outings carefully has started to save me at least $100 a month.

WATCH YOUR TRANSPORTATION.

If you’re in a big city, you’re a little better off than everyone else these days. At least you can use the subways and buses..which are…respectively, much cheaper than gas. But watch out for those compulsive trips in a taxi. They add up. As for everyone else, there are ways to combat gas prices. First of all, buy a bike if you don’t have one. They’re a small investment, but they’ll save you tons of money in the end. Be careful about riding home drunk though, cause, um, you can (cough cough) get a DUI for this. On top of the bike, carpool with your friends…or WALK. Do whatever you can not to use your car. It’s better for your wallet and the environment, too. I’ve saved around $40 a month from thinking carefully about my transportation spending, but I don’t drive. I’m sure that throwing the price of gas into the equation could lead to savings in the hundreds per month.

OH BEAUTY, IT’S A B*TCH.

Far too many girls I know spend far too much money on looking ‘beautiful’. I just don’t believe in it. I believe in cutting your hair yourself when you can. I believe in dying your hair yourself. I believe in home manicures/pedicures, self-made spa treatments, and shopping sprees at Salvation Army. If you find that you’re spending a good chunk of change on purses, shoes, massages, nails, hair…it’s time to think about your life a little more. Are you SURE there aren’t alternatives for your appearance-oriented spending? I’ve certainly found an alternative to most of the typical girl beauty spending and I bet you can, too. I’ve managed to save around $150 a month by doing things myself.

(Photo from: smallbusinessanswers.com)

Unlike far sweeter countries like Germany we can’t drink outdoors here, which is a crying shame if you ask me. While I wish I could spend my summer drinking beers on the subway in Berlin (only the best way to pre-game ever), I’m stuck in the USA, for better or worse, until I can raise some much needed capital to get me out of here and canoodling with manly Deutsch men and their oh so alluring accents.

So in the meantime, I thought I’d share a few good ways to still get buzzed while working on your tan. No brown bags either—looking like a hobo has never been in style, unless you count the grungy 90s I suppose…

1.Flask: A classic choice for the sly lush.

2. Flask Flops: Stylish and thirst quenching footwear from the geniuses who brought us bottle-openers on the bottom of sandals. These babies are called Reef Dam Sandals and hold about four shots.

3.Nalgene: Usually associated with hippies and mountaineers, you can conceal a big fatty gin and tonic (looks like water with lime) in one of these stylishly tinted and virtually indestructible water bottles.

4.This one is for the golfers among us. It looks like a regulation driver, but its secret is the one-button dispensing pump.

5. Famous Stadium Sippin’ Seat: When you would rather sit on your ass and get wasted rather than actually pretend to golf, this comfortable seat is for you. It holds about three good-sized cups of your favorite drink.

6. Cell Phone Flask: A clever little spin-off of the classic flask. Also check out Binoculars (16 oz) and Beer Can Wraps a clever way to transform your Keystone Light into a Diet Coke. Brilliant!