Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (Why is my ex sending such mixed signals?) over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Hey Dude,
I have issues with self-esteem. Even though I know I’m fairly attractive (5’9, blonde, tan skin, brown eyes, telling you this so you get a perspective on the issue) dress pretty well, and don’t have a problem getting guys attracted to me, I have no boobs. Yes, I’m flat, and it’s not like I’m super skinny so my body just looks way out of proportion. I have contemplated plastic surgery just so that I can feel completely comfortable showing off my body. I want implants because I worry about guys judging me on the type of body I have wayyyy too much. Now that I’m going to get surgery though, I’m scared that guys will just judge me more for going through with this than just staying with my size.

What is your take on a girl with fake boobs? I am doing it for ME, not for anyone else, but I don’t want to regret my decision when a boy is like “you were so insecure that you actually got implants? Wow, you are not the girl I thought you were.”

Looking forward to your reply,
-Oregon Girl Read More »

I’ve heard the woes from people with cup sizes that are hard to manage. I understand; nobody wants the back pain or the difficulty finding clothes that fit. I, on the other hand, am on the other end of the spectrum. I hit puberty early, was a head taller than everyone in my class for a while, but never got to enjoy the other benefits of those raging hormones. You know…like, breasts.

My mother continually assures me that I’m lucky. “Dresses fit you so well,” she tells me. That’s easy for her to say; I imagine most mothers, deep down, want to dress their daughters in conservative dresses that leave a lot to the imagination, but leave me looking like I’m wearing a sack on top.

Forget showing off cleavage; it’s pretty hard when you barely have cleavage. I don’t mind looking nice in the occasional baggy shirt for a job interview, but how is a flat-chested girl supposed to look Hott? Read More »

In a recent interview with US Weekly, The Hills “star”, Heidi Montag, tells the world that she would rather die than be flat chested with a big nose.

When asked about her nose job and breast augmentation surgery (which she has until now kept quiet about), Heidi contributed this incredibly deep and emotional response:

“But surgery is a very big deal. Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it. I just wanted it so badly.”

Well, it is nice to see that Heidi has her priorities straight. I mean, forget about all those people dying all over the world. All the starving children in Africa. The oppressed women in the Middle East. The AIDS epidemic.

Those people don’t know pain!

Try living with an A-Cup and be forced to wear push-up bras that cut into your skin! Maybe then you’d know real pain! You think having your face ravaged by flying shrapnel in Iraq is a problem? Try having this thing on your face. Read More »