“The Ultimate Hatelist” posted a list of things they assume we, the ladies of the world, like that they think are ridiculously stupid.

Okay, so maybe we do get a little excited if our horoscope says we have a romantic interest in our near future (the guy from Bio, maybe?) and a little frozen yogurt is totally refreshing on a hot day. Okay fine! Maybe we do love a lot of the things they list, which also include brunch (how fun is a mimosa date with the girls?), reality TV, and making t-shirts (we’re bonding okay?!).

But we don’t really think men should be judging, especially with the laundry list of stupid shit they like.

10. Fantasy Sports

“Hey, man how’d your team do?”You might think the guy is actually involved in some sort of extra curricular sports team, meeting on the weekends to play a little two-hand touch or throw a Frisbee. Totally hot, right? Wrong. Instead they are sitting on their ass in front of a computer screen, picking real athletes who they think may possibly play well that week, and assembling a “fake” team. Yes. That is it. If they happen to choose correctly, other men will then applaud them.

9. Fast Food

A burger here, some pizza there, totally fine. We’re all in college, and we all understand the accessibility and yumminess of fast food. But when you eat whole foot long meatball subs at every sitting and then complain that you are putting on weight and can’t lose it, you’re just being stupid. And the gut isn’t cute either, so maybe add some salads into that diet?

8. Reality TV

So fine, we are addicted to The Hills and can watch day-long marathons of Say Yes to The Dress, but who do you think keeps Real Chance of Love and Ice truckers on air? It sure as hell isn’t us girls.

7. Football Sunday…All Day

I love football. It’s totally great that one day a week Americans gather around their TV sets and root for their favorite team. But why this one event has to erase an entire day off the weekly calendar is beyond me. The game starts at 4, so the pre-show starts at 1 and the tailgate starts at 9. And we couldn’t possibly do anything afterward, because then there’s highlight clips and recaps of the game that we just watched. Oh you want another foot long meatball sub? My pleasure, I’ll be right back.

6. Poker

Don’t get me wrong, I love cards. I don’t even mind a little blackjack or five card every now and then. What is stupid is that men will sit for hours on end, cleaning out their pockets to the point where they are throwing favors and their car keys into the pot just to keep playing. What happened to a friendly game of poker? The fact that men will gamble away their whole wallet and think nothing of it is stupid.

5. Cars

Us girls can appreciate a nice car when we see one. We’ll even entertain your comments now and then (“yeah, those rims are really nice”). But this crazy obsession guys have with cars is beyond absurd; when a nice one rolls by it’s like they are rendered incapable of speaking, walking, or continuing whatever activity they were previously engaged in. They become drooling, gawking little boys. It’s the 21^st century; nice cars are everywhere. Get over it.

4. Sneakers

They rail on us for always wearing uncomfortable stilettos, but we think it’s stupid that they are always in dirty sneakers. Seriously, can they really be wearing the same shoes out to dinner that they just played baseball in? Perhaps we do tend to overdress, but it’s always better than being under-dressed. Especially in certain situations that demand looking put together (church, family dinners, meeting your parents).

3. Public Flatulence

We’re not going to go down the whole girls-are-pretty-and-never-fart road. Yes, we burp. Yes, we fart. And yea, we even poop sometimes. But it is stupid that boys relieve themselves in public, think it’s funny, and even congratulate each other for it. What is even remotely entertaining about filling the booth at a restaurant with your raunchy stank? I will never understand why men see this as an expression of their manhood.

2. Quoting Movies

Yeah, that line was funny…in the movie. But being able to quote (and recognize quotes) from every movie ever made A) doesn’t make you funny and B) doesn’t make you impressive. Guys just love quoting movies and frown upon anyone who doesn’t pick up on the obscure reference they just made to some random line from some random scene in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

1. Turning Everything Into a Competition

We totally understand being competitive in all things sports, physical and intelligence-related. Hell, even the ladies get a little crazy at a sporting event. But guys will turn anything into an opportunity to win. “Oh yeah? Well I can type faster than you and I know more Will Ferrell movie quotes. LET’S GO!”

While shopping at the mall with friends last weekend, my breakfast of Kashi Go Lean Crunch! came back to haunt me. And by “me,” I mean “everyone within a 10 foot radius.” Yeah, it’s true – I had a horrible case of the farts. So bad that I couldn’t even stand myself. I tried to hold it in – really, really hard – but they just kept coming and it was impossible for me to walk around a giant mall with my ass cheeks clenched together.

So I did what any normal woman would do: I walked away from my friends and left some smelly bombs in store corners and mall walkways. Poor shoppers didn’t know what was coming.

The entire ordeal was mortifying (especially when the guy bringing my shoes walked through an exceptionally offensive gas cloud and got a very sour look on his face) and could have been completely avoided had someone informed me about these special panties. Now, I am not one for granny panties (especially of the Hefty variety), but a pair of panties that could mask my gas?

Where do I sign up?

I’m not sure how they work, but as long as they don’t create a virtual dutch oven in my pants thus releasing the foul odor of a day’s worth of farts and knocking me out the moment I take them off, I don’t really care.  The mere thought of enjoying a fiberous breakfast and then flatulating all day without anyone knowing (I’m a master of the SBD) is enough to lure me in.