How old would you guess I’d be if I had a mini-celebration in my classy little lady heart because breakfast sandwiches were served on my flight into JFK and Justin Bieber’s “Love Me” came up randomly on my iTunes? 11? 15? 18?

I have the mentality of an 11-year-old. But I digress. A week ago–I quit my dream job at an advertising agency and now I’m a flight attendant. I have the mentality of a 55-year-old lady hitting a mid-life crisis without the Porsche.

In reality, I’m 24-years-old, have a well-rounded college education and I’m fully capable of making my own decisions. In which case, I have chosen to behave like it’s 1960 and all I want to do is travel the world wearing nylons and a scarf around my neck…do something crazy and stroll through security at an airport with a flash of a badge to see the world and obtain some adventurous writing material for my Moleskine notebook. Read More »

I’m going to preface this with a disclaimer.  My version of airplane etiquette is a bit skewed since I require massive amounts of drugs to fly.  All I do is  make sure to take enough to avoid the projectile vomiting (yeah, I’m dead serious), but not too much so I end up drooling on my neighbor.  It’s a good flight if I’m unconscious the entire time.

For those of you who spend their flights on iPods, reading, or trying desperately to occupy themselves while stuck in a metal tube for a few hours with a hundred strangers, there are a some rules you should observe. So, sit back, relax, and listen up. Here comes the airplane etiquette:

Chatting With Your Neighbor:
If you happen to be a very social person, remember that your neighbor is not required to talk to you.  Just because someone happens to be sitting next to you (and your thighs may be touching) doesn’t mean that you two need to share your life stories and become BFFs.  And if this is something they don’t quite seem to understand, it is perfectly acceptable to tell them (politely) that you are too busy/sick/tired or whatever to talk. Or just put your earphone in (with or without the music playing) so they get the hint.

Arm Rest Possession:
I am pretty sure there is nothing more uncomfortable than sharing a 3-inch armrest with a large, hairy man. Wait, I take that back. Wrestling a large, hairy man for the armrest might take the cake. Common courtesy on arm rest possession is as follows: If you are on the aisle, take the outer-most armrest. If you are in the window, take the outer-most armrest. Let the poor sucker in the middle have both of the inside guys. After all, poor guy has the worst seat on the plane, let him have something. Read More »