Question?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. At, like, your own risk. Or whatever.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I am a freshman in college. I have been dating my high school boyfriend for more than a year now. He is everything I ever wanted in a guy and so ideal. He is so nice, patient, and kind. I had even been thinking about marrying him down the road. I could picture us together and I really thought that I loved him.

Recently however, I have been talking with an old fling. He randomly sent me a text awhile back and now it’s getting pretty flirtatious and I am left confused. He knows that I have a boyfriend and I’m not sure that he is even looking for anything serious. I really do like this other guy, but he is in school 10 hours away and wouldn’t be up for a relationship anyway. Is it bad that I am starting to have feelings for fling-boy all over again? Now I’m beginning to think that my boyfriend has stronger feelings for me than I do for him. That isn’t fair, right?

Even worse, when I was out with my boyfriend the other night he told me that I had been acting strange lately and confronted me. I didn’t tell him about this other boy, but basically I explained to him that I was having doubts. He was so kind about it. It made me feel even more horrible. So now I am left with the decision of whether or not to end things with my boyfriend. What do you think I should do? Do doubts mean he isn’t “the one?”

– To stay or not to stay

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Instead of educating myself with the help of intellectual books, I have spent my whole life devouring romance novel after romance novel, missing out on some much-needed sleep and creating completely unrealistic expectations about men and love.

After spending ten years with guys named Damien and Chace who lock eyes with a woman across the room, embark on rocky waters, and finally end up in paradise with the one and only person who could make them change their playboy ways, I began to crave a bit of reality in my life.

After all, how many men could there possible be with the “largest piece of manhood she’d ever seen,” who were also rich, gorgeous, and emotionally accessible only to me?

Yeah, it was time for a heaping tablespoon of reality and Jane Green served it to me. Narrated by Tasha, a woman who sleeps with men to overcome her emotional issues Straight Talking “sets the record straight regarding the real world of dating,” and deals with real people and real problems that people who date in real life encounter. Tasha and her three best friends mimic the Sex and the City group, meeting up for weekly get-togethers and dishing on their latest men.  However, their men mirror ones encountered in reality.  They date salesmen and accountants, not professional athletes and sexy policemen.  They stumble upon issues like sexual intimacy and picking between Mr. Right and Mr. So-Hot-It-Hurts.  Their stories mesh together to create a novel that any type of girl can relate to, from thel hook-up-every-night chick to the one saving yourself for marriage gal.

Tasha’s flashbacks on past relationships allow readers to see how even the most seemingly insignificant of men leave a lasting mark on a woman’s outlook towards dating and love, and how even a small three-month relationship can break your heart.  If you have ever felt like crying in the middle of class or stared at your cell phone wondering why somebody hasn’t called you, Green’s characters empathize as they try to outsmart the men who have all the tools to break their hearts.  She looks at heartbreak, friendship, and sex the way that real people do.  Read More »

Okay, okay. You found your fling. But classes are about to begin again, and you’ve got to pack up, move out, and put your scholar-face on. What are you going to do about the amazing hottie you picked up over the break?

Well, that all depends. What do you want? What does he want? How much do you really think you click? And by “click,” I do NOT mean another work that ends in “-ck.” Because if you’re going to make it work, you’re going to have to jive beyond the boundaries of physical attraction.

Take into consideration the fact that you’re going to have a college workload, assignments, deadlines, and the usual university-sponsored (or bar-sponsored) social engagements. If he’s in school, he will too. Sure, it was easy to escape when you were both visiting your parents, but what about when you’ve got your uber-fun roommate and a dorm full of friends every night of the week? If you still think he’s worth it, read on. Read More »

With a month off between fall and spring semesters and neurotic parents that drive you absolutely crazy after three months of freedom in the dorms, many students opt to take a winter break vacay. Whether it’s a road trip to the closest city, or a flight to the tropics, finding romance is a great way to de-stress after finals (and Christmas dinner with the entire extended fam). Looking for a super New Year’s Kiss? Here are some tips to get your blood rushing, even in freezing temps.

The most important rule for finding a fling is to open yourself up to opportunity. Hell, even if you’re stuck in your hometown, you never know if you’ll hit it off with a former high school classmate who grew up (in more ways than one) while away at school. If you are traveling, be outgoing! Talk to the bartenders, the hotel staff, everyone. They can probably give you advice on the hottest hangouts for the locals, and perhaps even introduce you to some of their fine friends. Besides, if things go sour, you can always jet back to school and pretend it never happened.

That said, be spontaneous. What happens in Vegas…. right? If a cute guy compliments you on the street, it’s okay to talk to him. Just be sure you have a friend or authority figure in sight. You can even agree to meet up later, provided it’s in a crowded, well-lit venue. Yes, there are sketchy peeps out there, but there are also plenty of friends you haven’t met yet. Trust your gut, and give it a chance…again, in a crowded, well-lit venue. Read More »

Oh yeah, baby. Finals are finally over, which means sweet freedom! I haven’t been this happy since my last snow day (in high school)!

It is all cheesy movie marathons, holiday jams, catching up on magazines, and heavy carbs for the next few weeks. No more frozen ears walking to class, IM fighting with the roommate who never does her dishes, or long nights in the freaking library. (Although, I really can’t complain that much; at least I’m not this girl.)

And maybe I can finally get over that dude who is so not into me and have me a little holiday fling. That would be nice.

I do have one thing to worry about, though, and that is what the hell to get my parents. Maybe my dad will want the new Burger King cologne? And maybe some makeup brushes for mom? Definitely not the female condom. Ew.

I could just win that sweet new AT&T Palm Centro and give it to one of them. Wait, I want that one for myself. After all, after a week like mine, I deserve it.

Some women get to have the dreamy, stereotypical first time. The love of your life surprises you with a romantic evening alone and it ends up in the bedroom. He tells you he loves you and all that jazz.

Well, you know what? Some of us would like to forget our first time, and “some of us” includes me. I’m not saying I regret it, but I sure as heck wish I’d put more thought into it and had better judgement.

I was young and stupid, and depressed. I was 16, a junior in high school, and had never been in love. My friends were hooking up and wondering why I’d never been able to have a boyfriend for longer than a week. I was never the “It” girl, I was more of the “one of the guys” girl. I’d never been told I was beautiful by any guy, I’d never been told I love you by anyone besides my parents.

So, my self-esteem really wasn’t all that great when my ex-boyfriend put the moves on me. During a play rehearsal. In a storage closet. And the cherry on top was the fact that after 2 minutes he just got dressed and left. TOTAL D-BAG!!!!! Read More »

Just because you’ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn’t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered. In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?

Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the hook-up; the scenarios in which you’ll interact after the hook-up; and how much discussion you had before, during, and after the hook-up, the first “reunion” can be totally smooth, or completely cringe-worthy. And, for the record, the first reunion does not include your first words the morning after when both of you are still in bed…naked…and possiby still drunk.

How do you deal? If your first meeting with your last fling falls into one of the following categories, you need to work on your post-play approach.

1. The Awkward Aversion

You don’t know how he feels, and if it means avoiding rejection, you’re fine not knowing. You may respond to his presence by interrupting someone else’s conversation to avoid having to talk to him, fumbling with your phone to appear busy, or simply leaving the room. This will come off as either immature or disinterested. If he does like you and you blatantly ignore him, he’ll think you regret it. Unlike girls who want what they can’t have, guys are more likely to give up if you’ve bruised their ego. If you do like him, I suggest developing a different method. Read More »

We all know that hooking up isn’t all rose petals and follow-up phone calls. In fact, more often than not, the morning can be excruciatingly awkward. Sometimes, that awkwardness follows you down your walk of shame, and lingers like a black cloud over your relationship history.

You might be able to laugh off some of these poor decisions, but in other cases, you might reap the consequences, especially if your fling affects the people around you. Here are some awkward hook up scenarios that you may just wish to avoid in the future.

1. Your Best Friend’s Brother.

Usually, you give your best friend all of the deets regarding your trysts, and she listens, and laughs, and offers advice when necessary. No can do when you’ve crossed the line into sibling snogging. Your best friend doesn’t want to picture her brother in any type of sexual situation. If the hook up turns into something more, congratulations, but you’re still not going to be able to share certain details, because the guy won’t want you gossiping to his sister, and your friend won’t want to hear it. Dating the brother might also strain your friendship, depending on whether your friend resents your decision. Read More »

Ah, summer time. Three whole months of no classes, no homework and no outstanding commitments. What is a girl (or a handsome boy) to do? There’s the inevitable catching up with your girlfriends, shopping trips and family obligation time… but every gal (and lad!) should find themselves a little summer romance.

From my personal experiences, summer flings can be quite delightful; you get to have three months of non-committed fun, living for the moment.

I spent three months one summer at the beach, where I met a cute, surfer boy who took me to every beach bonfire there was. During the days, we hung out on the beach, basking in the sun and getting to know each other – to a limited extent, as we both acknowledged what would happen at the end of August – and at night we spent time laughing, dancing and enjoying the moment, with an occasional make out or two. Wink. Wink. Read More »

Researchers in the UK have determined that women prefer men with facial stubble, whom they view as “tough, mature, aggressive, dominant and masculine – and as the best romantic partners, either for a fling or a long-term relationship”.

Research Psychologists at Northumbria University used computer technology to alter the photos of men’s faces to reflect different stages of facial hair- clean-shaven, light stubble, heavy stubble, light beard and full beard.

The study goes on to state: “In desirability for a short-term relationship, a female preference for male faces with stubble or light beard was found, with clean-shaven and fully bearded faces being the least preferred.” (Editor’s Note: I do love me a 5 o’clock shadow, except when it leaves me with red, irritated skin after a long, steamy makeout sesh.) Read More »