Every week I make a list. Not a grocery list or a to-do list, because I don’t really do groceries (Pad Thai take out, helloooo) and to-do lists are totally not my scene, if such a scene even exists. No, this list is a top ten-style countdown about the hard-hitting issues, like which mash-ups are the best ever.

This week, as a partner to The Ten Types of Guys at the Party, I’ve decided to include the female version. All in good fun, ladies! Who am I missing?

10. The Diva.
This girl is at the party, but she is DEFINITELY not trying to party. Pouting with her manicured fingers and heavily lined eyes glued to her cell, Diva will only speak to her tight-knit group of friends dressed in very similar outfits. She will not partake in any of the drinking games, she will not hook up with any guys and she will roll her eyes at those who do. Then she will leave an hour later to go off somewhere “cooler,” “more mature,” and just worthy of her time. 

9. The “Innocent” one
Dressed conservatively and drinking a microbrew or weak cocktail, this doll-faced darling looks like she’d rather be holed up in the library than at this very party. Wrong. She goes from “virgin” to skank in 3.5 drinks and will hook up with your boyfriend and cry about it later. Beware of the victim-playing. This girl is faker than her “leather” shoes and has run through more guys than Paris Hilton. Read More »

My roommate has recently become obsessed with the new Weezer song and she’s constantly shouting, “Girl, If you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to,
 so make a move, (Make a move) ‘cos I ain’t got all night.”

This has led me to some contemplation on how hard it actually is to make a move on someone, and how annoying and awkward it can be while you’re waiting for them to make a move on you.

We’ve all been in way too many situations where we’ve been talking to a cute boy all night, but the party’s dying down and we can’t tell if he’s gonna pack up his things and head home (alone), or pucker up his lips and go in for the kiss (or, you know, put his hand on our butt…something!). And you know he’s feeling just as anxious, because he can’t tell if he should risk making the move too soon and scaring you off.

So you just sorta stand there…talking about cheese.

Of course, as Weezer exemplifies, this situation can easily be reversed. And I’m all for that. It’s time to stomp out the awkwardness of making/waiting for a move. It’s time to take matters into our own hands, and to take those matters with confidence and ease.

How can you let him/her know you’re ready? Read More »

We’re growing up in a weird, hook-up focused culture where the term “dating” is more undefinable than Lindsay Lohan’s sexuality. When a guy is chatting you up at a party or a bar, one would think it’s safe to assume he’s interested in you. But in the world of flirtation and intoxication, the intentions are as fuzzy as your legs in the winter.

How can you tell if the person you’re talking to is actually interested in you, or just interested in an interchangeable sex buddy to use later that night? You’re too special to be referred to as “hot girl with the big rack,” so learn how to tell which guys are genuinely interested, and which guys are playing their odds with every girl in the room.

So how do you know if the guy hitting on you thinks you’re extra sexy or used the same opener and closer on a chick three feet away from you?

Unless you possess the super human ability to actually read men’s actions, it can be a tricky feat. But one sure fire way to discern whether he is talking to you or to your breasts is to try and assess the quality of conversation. It’s understandable that after a couple shots of Jack you’re not going to be discussing the impact of gender on social roles in Sri Lanka, but are the only words coming out of his mouth, “Oh baby you look like such a good kisser”? If he’s legitimately trying to get to know you, you should be able to recount 3 interesting facts he’s told you about himself, and 3 interesting facts he’s asked you about yourself. (“What color are your panties?” does NOT count). Read More »

I’m a girl who knows what I deserve. I don’t settle. I’m a big believer in not purchasing knockoffs.

Reason one: I can hold out for the real deal.
Reason two: I don’t want to give the fake too much credit.

It’s the same thing with a guy.  Forgive me for the metaphor (fake bag = douche bag), but there are some dead giveaways that the guy who is about to approach you is a Frada. If that’s the case, you acknowledge (or not), smile, and politely get your ass out of Chinatown. Without divulging your digits.

Here are a few tells to prevent you from falling for that faux Ferragamo.   Read More »

I thought I would be at least 25 before this became an issue. I’m a bridesmaid. Yes, blah blah, happy occasion, etc, etc. But let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

First, I have to lose enough weight that the size 4 dress I ordered actually fits (I got a little overzealous after my skinny pants fit.) Second, I am the only bridesmaid who does not have a long term boyfriend. Meaning I either attend several wedding functions as the only solo gal, or I shell out some major cash dollaz for one of my guy friends to fly out to the wedding with me. Both options are giving me ulcers. Third, I’m jealous. Not that my friend is happy (because I’m amazingly glad she is) or because I want a husband (oh no, no, absolutely not), but because she has her whole life figured out…and I’m still deciding which kegger to go to tomorrow night.

I guess she’s an adult. And while my Harry Potter posters and cupboard full of Lucky Charms would have you believe otherwise, I guess I’m sort of, kind of an adult too. And if this is the beginning of adulthood, I’m so far really bad at it. One of my best friends from high school is getting married. My other two best friends (the other lovely bridesmaids) are at least in relationships that will give them the emotional skills to one day be married. I’m busy trying to casually find out if the hot guy I work with is single so that I can maybe flirt with him. Read More »

And we care, why?

Who wore what to the Teen Choice Awards?

You don’t eff with Jeremy Piven.

Flirt like a pro.

That’s a little TMI for Facebook, dontcha think?

Michael Jackson’s coming to the big screen.

Posh might be too nice for American Idol.

I don’t know about you, but Facebook has gradually begun to take over my life over the past few years. It’s getting to the point where I think in third person, a la the Facebook status: “Kathryn is really stressed about her class schedule this spring.” “Kathryn is annoyed with bad drivers who slow her down.” “Kathryn really needs to get laid.” See? Now that last one would be inappropriate.

It’s hard, because I usually use FB to communicate with close friends who may have moved far away since our glory days as high school minors, and I often forget that I have a few hundred random people who really DON’T need to know my personal details. So, fellow collegiates, the next time you sit down and log in, take some of the following factors into consideration and reconfigure your FB behavior.

1. Poking is not a form of flirtation.

WTF? It’s a poke. It’s been around since the birth of Facebook, and it’s never made any sense. Maybe years ago, when FB was a baby, it was funny to have an online program that allowed you to “poke” people, but now, it’s played out. What comes from the poke? One of two things: The ignored poke, which will make you feel uber lame, or the “poke back.” And what comes from that?

2. “Gifts” are not actually gifts.

Whenever a free gift pops up, I think of a reason to send it to my cousin (who may or may not actually be my fraternal twin). However, spending $1 on a graphic is just lame. Especially when they sell out. HELLO! Virtual icons cannot sell out, because they don’t actually exist!!!! So, instead of spending a dollar to send your BFF a cartoon teddy bear, or your crush a virtual pair of panties as a sorry way to flirt, save your money and buy something that can be wrapped. Read More »

I picked my last boyfriend up at the grocery store. Bing, bang, boom—some eggs, some bread, and a new dude. Sure, there was some out-of-store courting involved, but who would have thought you could actually meet nice guys at the grocery store? Or that guys even went to the grocery store?

Not me. But it turns out that great dudes are all over the place—you just have to know where to look and how to strike. Read on.

1. Smile.
This might sound dumb, but everybody’s attracted to a good smile. You can’t pick up a guy if you look sour, so flash those pearly whites. You never know when somebody cute is going to look your way.

2. Be who you wish you were.
If you’re shy but you really want to be outgoing and flirty, what’s stopping you? It’s hard to overcome labels you’ve placed on yourself, but you’re the only person who has the power to change things. So rather than slinking back into a corner, cross the room and talk to that hot dude. And hold your head up like you mean it. Read More »

I’d like to consider myself a fairly sane person. I wear clothing, avoid drama, and know nothing about voo doo. I don’t have a secret alias, or an imaginary friend, or a meth problem. No skeletons in my closet, just a bulging IKEA shoe rack and a gallon-sized refill of Febreze.

Decidedly not crazy.

Yet for some reason, whenever a particularly witty, charming, attractive male glides into the picture, my so-called sanity gets a little shaky. Suddenly, I find myself Googling his name at 2AM, skimming news briefs about what appears to be a highlight-filled yet short-lived high school soccer career. I’m not crazy, I rationalize; I simply want to be informed.

We’ve all been there. Or at least I hope we’ve all been there, because I really don’t want to be the only one who creeps like this. Guys I like just make me a little bit of a nutter. Fingers crossed these apply to you too. Read More »

We love our mothers unconditionally. No matter how angry we get at them or how embarrassed our mothers make us, we continue to be on their side. They can yell at us, criticize us or even spend over $15,000 on plastic surgery in attempt to look like our identical twin and we will still love ‘em anyway. Wait, that last one has never happened to you?

Okay, maybe your mother hasn’t gone to the extreme like Jane Cunliffe’s mom, Janet, who believes that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Sure, your mother hasn’t spent thousands of dollars to change her nose, lips, breasts, hair and clothes, only to be mistaken as your younger sister. That was a bad example, but I’m sure she’s done something embarrassing that you’ve forgiven her for.

Nothing comes to mind? Well, I have ten “I-could-kill-you-I’m-so-embarrassed” moments below. Let me refresh your memory for you. If I forgot anything, please leave it in the comments, I like to know I’m not alone.

Moms are embarrassing when they…

1. Drive you to school in their pajamas.

2. Dress like you.  Juicy sweatsuits and belly shirts aren’t PTA appropriate!

3. Pull a Dina Lohan and gets all stage-mom on you.

4. Flirt with your friend’s fathers. Or your friends…

5. Lecture or yell at your friends.

6. Still lick their thumbs to wipe something off your face. For the last time, its a freckle and I’m 22 years old!

7. Try to set you up with anything with a penis.

8. Make awkward sexual jokes.

9. Wear Mom jeans. Enough said.

10. Use words like “underpants” in public.