In this episode, the Lohans FINALLY get to Vegas! They didn’t fly there in a private jet though, which I’m gonna admit was a bit of a let down (I expected some major control issues and perhaps Dina’s debut as a pilot), and there was no liquor fueled dramz. While the episode was age appropriately absent of hard booze, it was heavy on the whine.

For some reason, Ali chooses to adopt an even more nasally tone for this 25 minute tribute to ungratefulness. She complains in this obnoxious tantrum pending voice about all of the trials life has delivered to her. Like the fact that she, her awesome brother and (arguably) cool mom have to live in a tricked out penthouse at the Palms while she records her album. I guess it gets pretty taxing when you’re attending all of these exhausting “Welcome to Vegas!” parties (with delicious looking cake) thrown just for you by the f*#king Maloufs.

Ugh, sorry about that. Anyways, Dina introduces Ali (who is wearing a gorgeous but way too mature minidress) to a bunch of important 30 something guys that she wants Ali to “get comfortable with.” Dina baby, they’re mentally undressing your 14 year old — not very comfort inducing, I would say. The men all flirt with Ali while she fidgets, present her the aforementioned cake (note to self, go buy something with chocolate as soon as I’m done writing) and begin an episode long tradition of complimenting Ali and promising her she’s the next big thing. Read More »

Guys are aggressive, goal-oriented and more confident than their female counterparts.

Sure, that was an extreme generalization and stereotype-enhancing statement, but there’s certainly some truth to it. As females, we’ve been spoon-fed the ideals that women need to be ladies, think about others first, be passive as to not offend anyone and be a ‘nice’ girl. And while I am all for embracing my femininity, being a fierce female and loving my feminist leanings, I can’t help but notice the ways in which guys manage to get ahead and lead a more stress-free life by simply ‘acting like guys’.

Since it’s more socially acceptable and even expected for men to behave in certain ways, they tend to have a leg up on females and the way we operate. In some situations, harnessing male aggression and assertiveness can pay big dividends.

Work it

Modesty and humility seem to be essential characteristics of a well-mannered woman, or so we are told. But when interviewing for a job, asking for a promotion or writing your resume, confidence and bravado are crucial. If you’re deserving of a promotion or qualified for a job, you need to be upfront and toot your own horn. Take every opportunity to boast about your recent accomplishments, achievements and successes with practical examples. Read More »

I’m in a fight with Facebook. First they opened the doors to every crazy person on the planet/your mom. Then they started telling you everything your “friends” were doing. Then they started recommending friends to you, even though you would already have those people as friends if you wanted to.

And now those crazy boys at Facebook are stirring the pot again. This time with Facebook chat. Read More »

Have you ever met that guy who’s got arrogance dripping from his pores? He’s a Tommy Lee, with charm, stuck in a Brad Pitt body. And he can dance. And he is undeniably witty…always with better comebacks than your own during your flirtatious banter with him.

He can get all the girls. And the fact that he knows it sadly doesn’t make it any less of a fact because…you know you’d do him, too.

Well, Scotland’s Calvin Harris is not only this guy…but he’s written a song about it, too. As I heard his music for the first time in a video on YouTube, aptly named, “The Girls“; I was angry. The chorus of his song is simple:

“I get all the girls, I get all the girls, I get all the girls, I get all the girls”.

He dances around with American Apparel looking babes of all sorts of hair and skin color. And I’m angry because I would bet money that he DID get all of those girls after the video shoot.

And the sexiest part of all? Read More »

In a dark, moderately dirtball Irish pub with adorable bartenders straight from Ireland, I am approached by a liquor promoter. He’s pretty good-looking, obviously a flirt because who else takes a job as a promoter, and so begins his attempt as he hands me a keychain:”Who do you get? Who do people always say you look like?”

I reply the truth, no one, because no one even thinks I look like myself after changing the hair. But the promoter has an opinion,

“Okay, so, you definitely don’t have some features she has, which is a good thing, but—”

Is he serious? I am intrigued by the obvious trap he is setting for himself. Why is it that dumb must always accompany pretty?

“—did you watch Blossom? I swear, you’re a post nose-job Blossom…. No, it’s a good thing!”

Was it really? I spent the rest of the evening staring at my nose in the mirror behind the bar and glaring at the promoter, who at the end of the evening thought he had a shot at seeing me at his ‘gig’ next weekend. Read More »

After our recent post about choosing to live in the same dorm as your significant other, I thought I’d bring up a similar topic I’m struggling with: should you start a relationship with a roommate?

My current financial situation means I had to make a few compromises when looking for a new apartment. First off, I had to move to a shady neighborhood. And not just a put-away-your-ipod kind of neighborhood, but a maybe-you-should-carry-pepper-spray-and-also-possibly-a-knife kind of place. Secondly, I moved in with three boys.

Yes, I know, I’m living in a glorified frat house: Scarface posters on the wall, 2 years worth of grime in the tub (so much for a relaxing post-work soak) and a fridge full of beer and moldy food. When I arrived to take a look around and put down my deposit, however, I soon realized that these were the least of my problems; one of my roommates is cute. Read More »

There is nothing better than meeting – and totally loving – your friend’s boyfriend. You may not think so consciously, but I know deep down everyone fears that they will absolutely hate the boy their best friend falls for.

Either that he will be totally ogre-ish with a unibrow or chest hair that just doesn’t end, or a total dick with pink popped collars and a bracelet. Or, even worse, just an all around asshole.

So when you finally meet the boy of your friend’s dreams and he is totally awesome, it is always cause for one big giant sigh of relief (followed by a night on the town; he probably has awesome friends too, right?).

Well, not always. Not if, like me, you find yourself not only obsessed with friend’s boyfriend, but maybe a teensy tiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit in love with him yourself. That, my friends, is just one craptastic situation. Read More »