[You can read the last installment of Chasing Chastity here]

“What’s going on?”

“Where are you, babe?” I crunched on a vodka-infused ice cube and sipped the remains of my tenth cocktail.

“I’m on my way home for lunch. I have about two hours between classes, so I thought I’d grab a quick bite. You wanna make me a sandwich?”

“Uhhh . . . sure?”

I bolted from the couch and knocked the phone out of my hand. As I bent down to retrieve it, I tripped over the dog, and smashed my head into our coffee table.

Immobilized, bleeding, I drifted off . . .

“Glenn? Glenn? Honey?” Jason’s tie brushed against my nose and a few mumbling shadows lurked behind him. It turned out those ominous figures were a team of paramedics.

“Mr. Woodson, it looks like your wife was drinking at the time of the fall. We need to check for signs of a concussion. If she checks out, then she won’t need to come to the E.R. with us.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” Jason said. He turned away from the shadowy figures, and crouched near my face. “Jesus, am glad I came home. What would’ve happened to you if I hadn’t? Your face is covered in dried blood.” Read More »

I don’t want to post another of those “F&%k Valentine’s Day” blogs, or the “Not to be all bitter, but F$%k Valentine’s Day” blogs. And yet here I am.

Here’s the thing about Valentine’s Day: It lasts for freaking ever. It’s all, “Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!” and, “How’s your Valentine’s Day going?” and then, “Can you believe there are only 364 days until Valentine’s Day rolls around again?” And the cycle continues.

And then there’s Valentine’s Day At Work. It’s the same for everyone. There’s always:

-The sad single girl who clearly spent all night making pink cupcakes for the staff which no one eats.

-The annoying work couple who crack little post-coital jokes February 15th that make you want to puke or get married over the Internet.

-The boss who schedules you to work until 11pm Valentine’s Day evening because she “assumed you would be free…”

How to tastefully deal with Valentine’s Day? It’s a toughie. Some people have those “Anti- Valentine’s Day” parties, but to work these either need to be flooded with movie stars or take place in the Village. Otherwise they can be reminiscent of those “Anti-Prom” parties you and your Literary Club friends had junior year of high school. Read More »

Unless you’ve been in a long-distance relationship before, it’s hard to understand just how difficult they can be. My boyfriend and I have been long-distance for most of our 2½ years together, and I still go nuts sometimes.

Whether you’ve left someone behind, been left behind, or just have somebody special in another zip code, use these tips to take your long-distance relationship from surviving to thriving.

1. Talk.

This one may seem obvious, but sometimes it’s hard to hold an actual conversation on the phone. The minutes will fill up with “Yeah”s and “What did you do today?”s, but are we really actually saying anything?

Just like regular couples, long-distance shippers have problems that need to be worked out. When your BF or GF isn’t around to remind you of those problems all the time, it gets easier and easier to avoid working them out. To keep a long-distance relationship healthy and alive, you can’t be afraid to open up dialogue. Read More »

Tattoos are always an iffy subject.

They stay on you forever, something that seems awesome at 20 (skull and crossbones with flames! Sweet!) might not seem so cool at 40 (“mommy, why do you have a scary skull on your back?”), and getting them removed is a whole hell of a lot more painful than getting them done.

Plus, people tend to look at you differently if there’s permanent ink on your arm or back or stomach.

Tattoos will always be a heavily debated topic, but what if I told you the discussion was about to get a little more complicated?

Branding Tattoos, a new way for advertisers to get their product out there and for image conscious buyers to forever connect themselves with their favorite apparel or make-up line, are slowly becoming more popular in the states.

Consumers are turning away from hearts, flowers, and tribal armbands, and getting Nike and Dior etched into their skin forever. Read More »

Hey ladiiiiiiiies!

Aren’t you sick of your man going to Home Depot every weekend (word!) to buy more big-steel-things with levers and springs and stuff (uh-huh!) when he should be taking out the trash (snap, snap)?

Well the time has come, girls: Her Depot is here!

Her Depot – yes, I’m serious; that’s the moniker – is a “sister store” of the popular chain of home improvement stores…with a female twist!

Instead of purchasing important items like snowblowers and aluminum siding you can buy real home essentials like flowers, storage bins, furniture, flowers, super cute kitchen stuff, pottery and flowers.

Ladies love flowers – am I right, ladies? Read More »