I’m Torn: The Swine Flu Vaccine

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Ew. Ow. Shots. Ew.

At this point, Swine Flu (or H1N1 if we want to be politically correct) has been branded into our consciousness. It seems like we can’t go anywhere without seeing a poster or a commercial telling us to protect ourselves. Suddenly the lessons we learned in grammar school are being made into multi-million dollar ad campaigns. “Wash your hands! Cover your mouth when you cough!”

It’s a little ridiculous how much everyone is freaking out. Then again, whenever I see someone sneeze I run in the other direction in fear that I will soon sprout a tail and oink all the way to the emergency room. So am I avoiding this swine flu like the plague? Hell yes. But when it comes to the vaccine, I’m not as sure.

I want to be as protected as possible, but I also don’t want to throw myself under the bus by injecting this mysterious killer into my blood stream. I talk to one person and feel like it’s the best thing since sliced bread, then the next minute someone else has me convinced that I would be making the worse mistake of my life.

It’s painfully clear: I’m torn. Read More »

Our Lives Are Duuuurty: Five Things Dirtier Than a Toilet Seat

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This guy is the least of your germ problems.

Despite the fact that I ran around for weeks downing Airbourne and bathing myself in hand sanitizer, I couldn’t outrun the flu and it currently has me severely down and out (don’t worry I’m not about to sprout a curly tail over here, it’s just our regular old seasonal pal).

As I spent the weekend lying in bed, underneath a pile of tissues and cough drop wrappers, I attempted to retrace my steps. Where did I go wrong? The first thing that popped into my head was a toilet. I mean, aren’t public restrooms pretty much the dirtiest places we visit? But I am positive that I had maintained sturdy squats never losing balance and always flushing with my shoe…

So where could I have picked up this infections, atrocious and nastalicious flu?

Apparently, the possibilities are endless. Well, not totally endless. It turns out the toilet is the least likely culprit. The porcelain god may be dirty, but it is cleaner than a lot of things we encounter every day. The worst part? We don’t even realize the things that are swimming in bacteria. Gross bacteria. The kind that definitely caused whatever has taken over my poor little body.

Here’s a list of some of the culprits to watch out for. Be careful out there, people, or you may be joining me in my germ infested death bed come next weekend. Read More »

Candy Dish: The JoBros Are Here To Stay

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The Jonas Brothers are NOT breaking up, OK?

Fight the flu naturally!

What exactly is going on here?

Is Josh Duhamel a cheater??

Miley’s got some freaky-ass fans.

What makes a man bad in bed?

Eating Too Much? Make it Hurt!

low-calorie-mouth-tapedWith all the crazy diet fads, weight loss pills and general hysteria over how to shed extra weight, it’s no surprise when another completely ridiculous tactic comes out.

And I’m not talking “only eat bacon” ridiculous.

Allow me to introduce you to Dr. Nikolas Chugay’s mesh patch. When sewn onto the tongue it becomes so painful to eat, that you just can’t. That’s right this doctor from California who has a PhD in medicine is going to make it so painful for you to eat that you won’t have any other option but to stick to a liquid diet.

Ten women have already done it and – surprise, surprise – some have lost up to 20 pounds. (Really, if you don’t eat any solid food, you’ll lose weight? Who knew!)

Now if this guy has actually found women desperate enough to inflict physical pain on themselves to lose their muffin top, I think the world of medicine is ready to radically expand. Can you imagine how much money can be made inventing other completely unreasonable ways for women to keep their stomachs empty?

I have a couple of ideas already. Read More »

This Little Piggy Isn’t Gettin’ The Flu

swine flu kiss copyMy top contender for Halloween costume this year is “The Swine Flu.” Who knew dressing up as a pig could be so dangerous?  But in all seriousness, swine flu is still among us, and no matter what your college is doing to protect you (read: installing bottles of antibacterial everywhere), we must protect ourselves.

Here are ten tips students should heed when battling the Swine Flu.

10.  Let’s take a look on the bright side. Swine flu is giving you a reason to avoid those all-nighters in the library. The best way to stay healthy is to get a good night’s sleep. Exhaustion will weaken your immune system. So if you happen to opt for sleep instead of a problem set, never fear. When you’re teacher asks where your homework is, just say the swine flu ate it.

9. Wash your hands frequently. I never leave the house without a bottle of Purell, and these days I’m getting stingy with sharing it. Hygiene is key. If you can’t take the flu, stay out of the pig’s pen.

8.  If you feel sick, stay home! You’re not going to impress the hottie in your Bio class if you come into Lab looking like death warmed over. You’ll be labeled the Swine-Spreader and there goes your good reputation.  Next thing you know, you’ll be have to eat your lunch with the Mono-Makeout Slut.

7. Speaking of makeout sluts… Now’s a good time to get your urge to kiss under wraps. Kissing may be like a handshake for you, but you’re going to be exchanging more than a hello with this swap of spit. The Swine Flu is sneaky and it’s looking to sow its wild oats. It will wait for you to put your beer goggles on and then it’ll plant a wet and germy one right on your lips. Beware. Read More »

Makeup 101: Add Some Antibacterial To Your Life

fresh brown sugarOkay, so I don’t know about all of you but I am pretty worried about getting sick at this school year.  Here at SU, school officials are predicting that half of the students will probably get some form of the flu. And that includes the Swine variety. Yikes! If you’re anything like me you’re probably a little worried (Read: freaking out and considering becoming a hermit).

But before you lock your doors and resign yourself to online courses, there are some things you can do to try to avoid getting sick, like protecting yourself against bacteria. As a self-described germaphobe, I am not embarrassed to say that I carry antibacterial wash with me everywhere (it comes in handy at frat parties), and you should consider doing the same since so many germs are on doorknobs, tables, and communal computers.  Plus, you’d be surprised how many of your friends and fellow students aren’t washing their hands after going to the bathroom! I see it all the time and I’m like, “Hey girlfriend, I’m standing right here and can see you aren’t washing your hands!”

But rather than yell at random strangers in the bathroom, even if they deserve it, you can protect yourself.  And that doesn’t mean squirting that nasty smelling Purell on your hands every 10 minutes; there are some really great smelling cleansing products out there that won’t leave your hands dry and cracking. Give some of these a try: Read More »

Livin’ It Up Even After Labor Day

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"Did you guys know this beer can make your hair stronger, too!?"

Labor Day may be an awesome third day to a typically-too-short weekend, but sadly, it’s also pretty much the last day of summer. But just because those summer days are drifting away, does that mean the fun is o-v-e-r?

Not for CollegeCandy readers! Psh, we can have fun no matter where we are and September is just brimming with some awesome stuff to take part in. Here are some fantastic things to do after Labor Day that don’t involve any heavy labor… or white shoes.

1) Enjoy (useful?) beer at tailgate.
Beer has better uses
than just giving you the guts to talk to that cutie you’ve been eying at the party. You can use it to clean your hair and unclog pores, make your own facial mask concoction, and draw a uniquely-colored bubble bath.

2) Do the Downward Dog.

You can get a full week of free yoga at a studio near you during the first ever National Yoga Month. And since yoga is supposed to improve your sex life, why not try it? Your boyfriend can thank me later.

Read More »

Swine Phew! Colleges Work To Keep You Healthy This Fall

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If you thought we were out of the woods with swine flu when summer began, you’re sadly mistaken. Health officials predict that come the fall, the H1N1 virus will begin to spread once again. Residential colleges are expected to be hit particularly hard, as dorms make the perfect breeding grounds for the spread of illness. (Lots of people with not-so-clean living habits? Hellooooo, disease!) But don’t start freaking out and sterilizing your possessions just yet; colleges are aware of the situation and are taking steps to help keep their students healthy.

To put it crudely: everyone chill the f*ck out. They got this.

Last week, the Centers for Disease Control decided to include 19 to 24 year-olds in the first-priority group for the swine flu vaccine, due out in October. This age group has seen many of the worst cases of swine flu, and the college experience of living, studying, and socializing together makes students even more susceptible to the virus. If you thought your roommate was impossible to live with before, wait until he or she gets sick. You’d have to have an immune system of steel not to catch whatever she’s got. Read More »

Candy Dish: Megan Fox Is Scaring Us!

megan-foxWow, Megan Fox, that’s one tiny corset!

Swine Flu side effects: fever, chills, and Racism?

Julia roberts can cuss like a sailor!

Heart on your sleeve, emoticons on your ears.

First Lindsay, now Ali. Can we expect Dina in a Bikini next?

Bacon flavored lip gloss just sounds wrong.


Labor of Love: Best Chicken Soup Ever

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It’s that time of year again: cold season.

Ew.

I’ve been noticing more people sneezing, which is why sanitizer is my new BFF. Unfortunately, thanks to all the common surfaces in college – computers, desks, ice luges – no matter how hard we all try we are gonna catch a cold. Pretty much everybody does. Even if they can avoid the germy keyboards and doorknobs on campus, the change in weather usually has them sniffling before too long.

But I have the cure for what ails us all: the best chicken soup EVER. Don’t use that canned stuff; the time and effort to make this soup is totally worth it. It will fill you up and make you feel all warm and toasty inside, no matter how chilly and snowy it is outside. Read More »