The flu sucks. There, I’ve gone and said it; plain and simple. It makes you feel gross, look gross and keeps you in bed all day (in a very different way than you’d want). Usually I’d be looking for any excuse to cuddle up with my favorite movie and relapse into a diet of soup and saltines, but not when it’s for weeks on end and makes you feel just plain shoddy.

It’s no fun having to constantly worry about keeping yourself in check and healthy (especially when you’re packed into college dorms and apartments like germ-infested sardines), so here are some simple and easy ways to integrate healthy actions into your daily life.

1. Wash your hands. Yes, I do sound like I’m your second grade teacher, but seriously. Just think about everything you touch throughout the day and how many germs are just lurking on your hands. Stick a little bottle of Purell on your key chain or in your handbag and you’re good to go!

2. Drink Water. Obviously water is key to staying healthy, but most of us don’t drink nearly enough as we should. Dehydration gives you body aches and headaches, so stay on top of it. Plus, water is phenomenal on its own for its bajillion health benefits. I mean, while preventing the flu you could be losing weight and improving your skin, among other things.

3. Vitamin C. If you don’t chug gallons of grapefruit juice (like myself), consider easy ways to slip some Vitamin C into your diet. My favorite way is to juice half of a lemon or lime (tip: microwave it – not kidding – or roll it around before you slice it up, it makes it juicier) and put it into a glass of ice water.

4. Sleep! As if I need another excuse to wake up at 2pm on a Sunday… A body that’s fatigued is significantly more susceptible to becoming ill than one who’s gotten lots of rest. Make sure you slip in those cat-naps between classes and go to bed early every once in a while, it all adds up.

5. Chill out on the alcohol and coffee. I can’t believe I even typed those words out, coming from a senior in college, but it’s true. Despite the fact that I’m currently nursing a venti hazelnut iced coffee from Starbucks, I know that caffeine is a major factor in dehydration. For every cup of coffee, make sure you consciously drink extra water, otherwise you’re just upping your chances of getting sick. As for alcohol itself, despite the late nights and random hookups it can lead to (and raise your chances of getting sick even more), it is also a dehydrating agent (hellooo, hangovers). Stay away from these two drinks if you’re trying to keep your head above water as finals week rapidly approaches.

6. Get a flu shot. I’m not a fan of needles at all, but my ten minutes of freaking out before is certainly worth the days and weeks of possibly getting sick down the road. Most university health centers offer flu shots to their students (sometimes even for free!). Though if your school doesn’t, many pharmacies offer them cheaply.

Just remember that doing little things throughout the day can help you stay healthy. Though some of these points may sound like common sense, they’re actions we often neglect to take. Paying a little more attention now could spare you weeks of discomfort and miserable social life in weeks to come.

FML.

You roll out from underneath your covers to turn off your alarm clock. You’ve got a very busy day ahead of you: three classes, a group meeting and a date with your roommates to catch up on Glee from the past three weeks. Everything has been so busy lately you haven’t had time to eat a meal, let alone get your weekly dose of Finn. If you’re not sleeping, you’re in class, and if you’re not there you’re in the library, oftentimes well past midnight.

And it’s finally catching up to you.

As you try to rouse yourself out of bed, you feel it. Your head hurts, you can’t swallow and your whole body just feels achy. You walk to the bathroom to wash up, hoping it’s just one of those “I slept with my mouth open” deals; it will go away in a few minutes.

Only it doesn’t. In fact, bending over the sink to splash some water on your face makes you dizzy and angers the little men pounding hammers against the inside of your skull. It’s official: you’re sick.

“Oh god. Could it be Swine Flu??”

You crawl back to your room and sit down at your computer. You enter your symptoms into WebMD figure out your diagnosis/rule out any deadly diseases. You learn that you either have the flu… or meningitis. Either way, you need to take your temperature, which you cannot do since you don’t have a thermometer. Maybe you can just sleep it off?

Before getting back into bed, you send a quick email your professors/group members/roommates to let them know that you are sick. You do not mention the word “flu”; you don’t need anyone sending you to the Swine Flu quarantine, thankyouverymuch.

Your body is really hurting now so you shut your computer and climb back into bed. You’re thirsty, you’re achy and, dammit, you want your mom. So you call her. Yeah, she’s over 6 hours away, but at least she’ll tell you what to do… and feel bad for you.

And feel bad she does. She tells you to drink lots of fluids, get lots of rest and call her when you wake up. Even though you knew all of those things, just talking to her makes you feel a little better. You hang up, roll over and go back to sleep.

When you wake up a few hours later you’re feeling worse. You try to drink some water but you can’t swallow. And forget eating; even the thought of a piece of toast makes your stomach churn. You debate going to the health center; those “doctors” a joke and that requires getting dressed and walking across campus. But what other choice do you have? You call your mom.

After getting a sufficient amount of pity and love from mama (“Oh honey, you know I’d bring you soup if I was there.”), you decide to go to the doctor. You pull on your biggest sweats, put your hair up in a ponytail, throw on your glasses and head out. You look like crap and you know it, but you don’t care. As unflattering as those men’s sweatpants are, you still feel a hell of a lot worse than you look. As you walk past other students laughing on their way to class you silently curse the world, asking the guy upstairs why you have to be sick. And why is the health center so far away? And why does everything hurt so badly?

Eventually you make it, sign in and sit down in the room full of coughing students, closing your eyes in hopes it will make your headache go away. 45 minutes and two phone calls to mom later, the doctor calls you in. She spends 6 minutes examining you – which includes questions on your sexual history for some reason – then tells you it’s the flu, there’s nothing she can do and you just need lots of fluid and lots of rest. Then she places her gloved hand on the small of your back and pushes you out of her office so she can let the next sickling in.

You call your mom again on the way home to whine a little more. Then again when you’re back in bed. Then again when your roommate brings you chicken soup that isn’t nearly as good as hers. Then you turn off the phone, dive under your covers and fall asleep. At 7 p.m. Missing yet another week of Glee.

Yeah, we’ve all been there.
There is nothing quite like being sick to make you hate your life and miss your mommy.

Ew. Ow. Shots. Ew.

At this point, Swine Flu (or H1N1 if we want to be politically correct) has been branded into our consciousness. It seems like we can’t go anywhere without seeing a poster or a commercial telling us to protect ourselves. Suddenly the lessons we learned in grammar school are being made into multi-million dollar ad campaigns. “Wash your hands! Cover your mouth when you cough!”

It’s a little ridiculous how much everyone is freaking out. Then again, whenever I see someone sneeze I run in the other direction in fear that I will soon sprout a tail and oink all the way to the emergency room. So am I avoiding this swine flu like the plague? Hell yes. But when it comes to the vaccine, I’m not as sure.

I want to be as protected as possible, but I also don’t want to throw myself under the bus by injecting this mysterious killer into my blood stream. I talk to one person and feel like it’s the best thing since sliced bread, then the next minute someone else has me convinced that I would be making the worse mistake of my life.

It’s painfully clear: I’m torn.

Love It

Isn’t this what everyone has been praying for? Since this thing emerged we’ve been sitting with fingers crossed in our surgical masks and rubber gloves while researchers searched for a vaccine to prevent it, and now it’s finally here. Research also says that college students are at the highest risk for serious infection and even with those Purell bottles in every lecture hall/classroom/dorm on campus, it seems stupid to even consider not getting the vaccine. Why wouldn’t I protect myself if given the chance? Plus, I can get it super cheap (if not for free) at my school’s health center. It really seems like a no-brainer.

Loathe It

Okay, I’ve heard one too many horror stories and I’m not having it. Some people have had horrible reactions to the vaccine; others have been infected and gotten really sick afterward. I’m trying to avoid this virus at all costs, so it seems pretty stupid to willingly let someone inject it into my body. Plus I hate needles with a passion (especially when they are filled with the Swine) so it seems like a better deal to  just go hang out in the health center next to Sniffy McSniffles, inhale some of whatever he’s got and hope my body fights it off and gets stronger. Plus, I’ve never gotten the flu shot before and have always managed to come out of flu season unscathed, so why start now?

What do you guys think? Yay or neigh oink for the Swine Flu vaccine?

This guy is the least of your germ problems.

Despite the fact that I ran around for weeks downing Airbourne and bathing myself in hand sanitizer, I couldn’t outrun the flu and it currently has me severely down and out (don’t worry I’m not about to sprout a curly tail over here, it’s just our regular old seasonal pal).

As I spent the weekend lying in bed, underneath a pile of tissues and cough drop wrappers, I attempted to retrace my steps. Where did I go wrong? The first thing that popped into my head was a toilet. I mean, aren’t public restrooms pretty much the dirtiest places we visit? But I am positive that I had maintained sturdy squats never losing balance and always flushing with my shoe…

So where could I have picked up this infections, atrocious and nastalicious flu?

Apparently, the possibilities are endless. Well, not totally endless. It turns out the toilet is the least likely culprit. The porcelain god may be dirty, but it is cleaner than a lot of things we encounter every day. The worst part? We don’t even realize the things that are swimming in bacteria. Gross bacteria. The kind that definitely caused whatever has taken over my poor little body.

Here’s a list of some of the culprits to watch out for. Be careful out there, people, or you may be joining me in my germ infested death bed come next weekend.

Purses. Researchers found hundreds of thousands of germs present on a woman’s purse, which included fecal bacteria, cold viruses and viruses that cause diarrhea. Pretty freakin’ gross. But I know none of us are going to throw out our gorgeous patent leather Kooba (or should I say Poo-ba) hobo, so if your bag has touched the ground (and who’s hasn’t) leave it there. Keep that beauty away from tables, desks or your bed so the germs stay as far away from you as possible.

Computer Keyboards. The gross truth is that you’d collect fewer bacteria if you rubbed your hands over a toilet seat than if you sat down and typed out an essay (one study found that the keyboard had 60 times more germs per square inch then a toilet in a public restroom). Bottom line: clean your keyboard! You can mix some dishwashing liquid on a damp towel and wipe the keyboard and screen down; you’d be amazed at how many of those little suckers you’d be killing off.

Towels. Since the majority of us live in dorms this couldn’t be more important. First off, NEVER put your towel down anywhere in a communal bathroom or let it sit in a heap on your bedroom floor. Regular old flu viruses are the least of your worries at this point; students have gotten staph infections that result in permanent scars and even death from having their wet towels laying around in a pile, or touching someone else’s and then reusing them. (Also, oils from your skin build up on towels creating bacteria that cause acne, so washing towels once a week is a must to keep our skin zit-free!)

Cell Phones. You know that device you have glued to your ear the entire day? It’s filthy (and I’m not talking about those naughty photos you’ve been sending around…). Bacteria that cause nasty annoyances like pimples and boils and life threatening illnesses like pneumonia and meningitis have all been found lurking on your Blackberry. Never lay your phone down on desks in class or tables in the caf, and disinfect it on a daily basis because our skin creates the most harmful bacteria. That’s right dropping our cells into a toilet would probably clean them off a little.

Lindsay Lohan. Or any other skanky starlet for that matter. Steer clear; you don’t need whatever they’re carrying lurking in your air space. This also applies to skanky starlet wannabe’s running around your campus swapping spit and bodily fluids with god knows who.

Grossed out? Me too. I’m going to go douse my entire life in Pine-Sol now.
I suggest you do the same.

The Jonas Brothers are NOT breaking up, OK?

Fight the flu naturally!

What exactly is going on here?

Is Josh Duhamel a cheater??

Miley’s got some freaky-ass fans.

What makes a man bad in bed?

And I’m not talking “only eat bacon” ridiculous.

Allow me to introduce you to Dr. Nikolas Chugay’s mesh patch. When sewn onto the tongue it becomes so painful to eat, that you just can’t. That’s right this doctor from California who has a PhD in medicine is going to make it so painful for you to eat that you won’t have any other option but to stick to a liquid diet.

Ten women have already done it and – surprise, surprise – some have lost up to 20 pounds. (Really, if you don’t eat any solid food, you’ll lose weight? Who knew!)

Now if this guy has actually found women desperate enough to inflict physical pain on themselves to lose their muffin top, I think the world of medicine is ready to radically expand. Can you imagine how much money can be made inventing other completely unreasonable ways for women to keep their stomachs empty?

I have a couple of ideas already.

The Wisdom Tooth Replacement

Anyone who has had their wisdom teeth removed knows that it was the best you’ve looked in years. Sure, your cheeks swell up like your a chipmunk going into hibernation, but it’s too painful to open your mouth wider than a centimeter so you drop six pounds as you lie on your couch in agony. Sadly, though, you heal and are soon able to open your mouth wide enough to fit that hamburger. Why not just do a monthly removal/replacement procedure? That’ll keep you (painfully) thin.

The Flu Sauna

Having the flu is a socially acceptable excuse to be bulimic for a week. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you continue to infect yourself, you will continue to barf up any and all food that enters your stomach. So after your elliptical session, stop by the flu sauna, fully equipped with a virus-infected individual who will cough, snot and sneeze your way. You’ll be infected and unable to keep food down by tomorrow!

The Judgment Hand

That little voice inside our head (you know her, “don’t you dare eat that cookie, it’ll go straight to your big ass!”), isn’t that convincing. Sure she makes you feel guilty, but it rarely stops you from resisting the chips at a party or the pizza at the sorority meeting. Luckily for you, we can now give that little voice a powerful weapon. Doctors simply install a robotic arm on the side of your body, linking it to your brain waves. As even the thought of eating crosses your mind, the hand will whack you upside the head, knocking any craving out the door.

Here are ten tips students should heed when battling the Swine Flu.

10.  Let’s take a look on the bright side. Swine flu is giving you a reason to avoid those all-nighters in the library. The best way to stay healthy is to get a good night’s sleep. Exhaustion will weaken your immune system. So if you happen to opt for sleep instead of a problem set, never fear. When you’re teacher asks where your homework is, just say the swine flu ate it.

9. Wash your hands frequently. I never leave the house without a bottle of Purell, and these days I’m getting stingy with sharing it. Hygiene is key. If you can’t take the flu, stay out of the pig’s pen.

8.  If you feel sick, stay home! You’re not going to impress the hottie in your Bio class if you come into Lab looking like death warmed over. You’ll be labeled the Swine-Spreader and there goes your good reputation.  Next thing you know, you’ll be have to eat your lunch with the Mono-Makeout Slut.

7. Speaking of makeout sluts… Now’s a good time to get your urge to kiss under wraps. Kissing may be like a handshake for you, but you’re going to be exchanging more than a hello with this swap of spit. The Swine Flu is sneaky and it’s looking to sow its wild oats. It will wait for you to put your beer goggles on and then it’ll plant a wet and germy one right on your lips. Beware.

6. Contain your cough, for your mother’s sake! This should be obvious. The basic rules of etiquette have preached the hand-over-cough move for years, but now we’ve got to take it seriously. Make your mama proud and swine flu-free!

5. While Mexico may be a popular spring break destination, perhaps you may want to rethink that trip to the Oasis Cancun this year. Mexico + Spring Break debauchery = breeding ground for Swine Flu. Even I can do that math.

4. Got an iPhone? Download the Swine Flu Tracker, created by IntuApps, and successfully avoid areas with high threat levels.  Yes, there’s even an app for that.

3. Retire from beer pong. Winning the game with an around-the-back bounce shot deserves a trophy, not the flu. But that’s what you’ll get when you’re drinking from the same solo cup as 15 people before you. Even if you can’t resist Beirut’s siren call, at least play with water cups and drink from your own beer can. This way you can maintain your frat-star skills and stay healthy at the same time.

2. If things around you are getting dire, and your peers are dropping like…. swine, you might think about investing in this flu-season’s latest fashion. The decorative face mask. Get em’ while they’re hot!

1. Eat an apple a day. Just in case.

But before you lock your doors and resign yourself to online courses, there are some things you can do to try to avoid getting sick, like protecting yourself against bacteria. As a self-described germaphobe, I am not embarrassed to say that I carry antibacterial wash with me everywhere (it comes in handy at frat parties), and you should consider doing the same since so many germs are on doorknobs, tables, and communal computers.  Plus, you’d be surprised how many of your friends and fellow students aren’t washing their hands after going to the bathroom! I see it all the time and I’m like, “Hey girlfriend, I’m standing right here and can see you aren’t washing your hands!”

But rather than yell at random strangers in the bathroom, even if they deserve it, you can protect yourself.  And that doesn’t mean squirting that nasty smelling Purell on your hands every 10 minutes; there are some really great smelling cleansing products out there that won’t leave your hands dry and cracking. Give some of these a try:

Hand wash: Indulgences Purifying Hand Wash in Coconut Nectar is a cheap antibacterial that cleans and moisturizes. Oh and it smells deeeelish.

Bodywash: Fresh Brown Sugar Body Polish - This body scrub exfoliates but also includes real brown sugar, which is a natural antibacterial ingredient.  Fresh also makes a soap bar that has the same helpful sugar properties.  Who knew that sugar was good for more than just curing a sweet-tooth?

Lotion: This Bath & Body Works lotion is small enough to throw in your purse, and has moisturizing beads to leave your skin soft and germ-free.  Try Midnight Pomegranate, my fave new B&B scent.

Waterless Hand Foam: The Bath & Body Works hand foam is the quickest way to sanitize your hands after touching public surfaces, plus this Sea Island Cotton scent should take you on a mini-vacay.

All Rolled into One: Bath and Body Works: Spread Love, Not Germs Kit. It’s only $19.50 and you get tons of antibacterial products in top selling scents like Sweet-pea.

Stay clean, healthy, and smelling delish this year, ladies.

"Did you guys know this beer can make your hair stronger, too!?"

Labor Day may be an awesome third day to a typically-too-short weekend, but sadly, it’s also pretty much the last day of summer. But just because those summer days are drifting away, does that mean the fun is o-v-e-r?

Not for CollegeCandy readers! Psh, we can have fun no matter where we are and September is just brimming with some awesome stuff to take part in. Here are some fantastic things to do after Labor Day that don’t involve any heavy labor… or white shoes.

1) Enjoy (useful?) beer at tailgate.
Beer has better uses than just giving you the guts to talk to that cutie you’ve been eying at the party. You can use it to clean your hair and unclog pores, make your own facial mask concoction, and draw a uniquely-colored bubble bath.

2) Do the Downward Dog.
You can get a full week of free yoga at a studio near you during the first ever National Yoga Month. And since yoga is supposed to improve your sex life, why not try it? Your boyfriend can thank me later.

3) Get ready for the New Moon movie premiere by using Twilight makeup.
The Julie Hewett Los Angeles Twilight Palette was inspired by the phenomenon that is the Twilight saga. The Twilight Palette contains the following four eye shadows: Brunette, Pola, Black Chandelier, and Swank. Together, they make for a quite a sexy, sultry and mysterious look. If only it also came with Taylor Lautner.

4) Learn how to decrease risk for ovarian cancer.
It’s Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, so take this quiz and see if you know how to limit your chances of being one of the 21,000 women that get it each year.

5) Stay away from Swine Flu.
I had no idea that the primary targets for Swine Flu were young people as opposed to the older generation for the general flu. Everyone: wash your hands! Can’t stress it enough. At least now with this sweet iPhone app I know where the latest outbreaks are (AKA where not to go).

6) Be bold and embrace the new fall makeup trends.
Purple, blue and nudes are in! At last that’s what Becki Newton of Ugly Betty says. And since I totally love her and want to be her and trust whatever she says, my toenails are now a rich plum color. Too cute.

7) Watch the U.S. Open.
Andy Roddick’s hot bod is more than enough reason to tune in. And after all the eye candy, put on an adorable tennis skirt and try to imitate the Williams sisters’ moves (and grunts) on the court.

8) Improve your health by doing more volunteer work.
Studies have shown that even people who did just 40 hours of volunteer work yearly lived longer and saw other very significant health benefits including reduced rates of depression and Alzheimer’s. Oh and, obviously, greater life satisfaction. Mia Hamm volunteers, so why shouldn’t you? She probably does it better though.

9) Rumored Apple event on September 9th???
Anyone know the deets? Will my computer now be obsolete…again? Will there be a $10 iPhone? Is Steve Jobs still alive?! Ahhh! Must. find. out.

If you thought we were out of the woods with swine flu when summer began, you’re sadly mistaken. Health officials predict that come the fall, the H1N1 virus will begin to spread once again. Residential colleges are expected to be hit particularly hard, as dorms make the perfect breeding grounds for the spread of illness. (Lots of people with not-so-clean living habits? Hellooooo, disease!) But don’t start freaking out and sterilizing your possessions just yet; colleges are aware of the situation and are taking steps to help keep their students healthy.

To put it crudely: everyone chill the f*ck out. They got this.

Last week, the Centers for Disease Control decided to include 19 to 24 year-olds in the first-priority group for the swine flu vaccine, due out in October. This age group has seen many of the worst cases of swine flu, and the college experience of living, studying, and socializing together makes students even more susceptible to the virus. If you thought your roommate was impossible to live with before, wait until he or she gets sick. You’d have to have an immune system of steel not to catch whatever she’s got.

The vaccine, however, is not a fail-safe way of combating the spread of swine flu. When students do get sick, they will have to be isolated from other students for a week. This poses a problem for schools that simply don’t have enough room to accommodate sick students. Harvard University plans to expand its infirmary’s capacity to 35 beds, but that may not be enough if swine flu spreads throughout the school.

A worst-case scenario would involve canceling classes (yay!) and closing down campus dining halls (yay or nay, depending on your school). Should that occur, Skidmore College is prepared to distribute Meals, Ready to Eat (relatively speakng, of course) to sick students. We can only hope that ready-to-eat meatloaf will not become a reality, but at least you won’t go hungry should the dining hall close down!

Ideally, school officials would like for family or friends to pick up ill students. If worse really came to worst, students with swine flu would go home to recover, which, unfortunately, wouldn’t mean a homework-free vacay.  Skidmore and other colleges plan to provide online learning tools to help students keep up with their work if they are forced to leave campus. Sucks for them, but with video lectures and online notes, this could be heavenly for those students who steer clear of the Swine.

School and health officials don’t want you to panic about swine flu. Truthfully, there is nothing to panic over, anyway. This isn’t going to be the 1918 flu pandemic all over again. We won’t see mass deaths as a result of this outbreak. Unless you count the battle royale that will ensue for the last mealoaf MRE…