There’s a known hierarchy of important items on Super Bowl Sunday, and it goes something like this:
3. The game.
2. The commercials.
1. The FOOD!
Chips and dip are a huge crowd-pleaser, but why run out to the store and load up when you can just make your own? Here’s a pair of simple recipes that’s sure to be the hit of your party.
First, put together your guacamole. Slice an avocado lengthwise, remove the pit and skin, then smash the flesh with a fork in a small bowl (sounds like fun, doesn’t it?).
Add about one-third of a large tomato (chopped), one diced garlic clove, and one tablespoon of chopped fresh cilantro.
Mash it all together again. Finally, add salt to taste and a couple of teaspoons of lemon juice. Stir well, stick it in the fridge until kickoff time, and you’re done!
While the guac is chilling, you can make the chips. Preheat the oven to 350, then coat a large baking sheet or two with tinfoil.
Slice two soft tortillas or wraps of any flavor (I like to use whole-wheat or spinach-garlic) into triangular, chip-shaped wedges. Arrange the wedges on the baking sheets, cook 10-12 minutes, and there you have it—tasty, homemade chips and guacamole for four!
Thanks a lot Borat and Coach Joseph, but we still don’t understand what a two-point conversion or a punt return is.
(That's actually my high school...Imagine having Coach Jo as a World History teacher.)
Anyway, its that time of year. Super Bowl parties! We want to be there for the food, commercials, and booze, but what is this football business going on in the middle of all that? Sitting through a football game, clueless as to what’s going on is roughly equivalent to conversational Farsi.
Growing up in a devout Texas football town, I will tell you that it takes years for the fairer sex to pick up the hundreds of rules and terms, as we have spent most of football season gossiping in the stands. I've gone and written out some of the more important ones that will help you follow the game and impress the boys. Guys think you are SO rad if you’re actually into football, but until you prove yourself, you'll be treated as a spy. Read More »
Don’t you just L-O-V-E the Super Bowl? It’s that time of the year when all of the dudes in our lives melt themselves down into screaming little boys.
They stuff their faces with whatever you put in front of them, drink their manjuice from a keg, and lose their temper at the television set.
As grotesque as this may sound to some of you, I actually enjoy this night. Then again, I’ve always been pretty good at kicking it with the guys.
There is a certain art to hanging with the guys, specially on Super Bowl Sunday, without being THAT chick. You know…THAT chick:
1. Who’s there solely to baby sit her boyfriend.
2. Who’s there solely because she has no life outside of her boyfriend.
3. Who’s there to invite all of the girls so that they could all have “Girl Time” while the boys have “Boy Time”.
4. Who admits she’s only there for the food and beer.
5. Who doesn’t know which teams are playing.
You don’t wanna be any of those girls. Instead, use this event as a chance to prove your ability to truly hang. The cool points you’ll score might just last you all year.
I’ll never forget that fateful day in art class, senior year of high school. This (pardon me if I seem rash in this titling) bitch named Ashlee was in my class. She was cool in the sense of…not cool at all, with a god awful short haircut and horrible highlights and delusions that her Nike sneakers with Mudd flares threw her into some high fashion club.
She was also dating a guy–the quarterback (of course)–who had secretly had a crush on me (a fact I didn’t find out until college).
The quarterback and my sporadic and subtle flirting, combined with the fact that she hated me for not kissing her ass, lead to Ashlee on a mission to make me cry. And one day; it almost worked.
There was a spider in our classroom. Ashlee flipped out in the typical “popular” girl fashion (“oh my gawd, oh my gawd! Do something!“), and I told her to chill and went to pick it up to put it out the window. I squated down to let the spider walk onto a piece of paper and suddenly, there was her ugly grass stained Nike sneaker…smashing it on my hands. I wanted to cry but instead I stood up and said,
Sorry, but I don’t really like sports (or feigning interest in them to get a guy’s attention). If a guy likes football more than me, I’d rather he have football. I can’t relate.
There are instances, though, when sports and love collide, and I have to put my game face on and pretend like I know what I’m doing. A relationship is a sport. Sometimes it’s an all – out WWE power struggle, but mostly, it’s like a game of tennis. The metaphorical ball is constantly traveling from one side of the court to another, with the balance of power tipping in either direction.
In the beginning, the guy usually has the ball, and I’m weak – kneed on the other side waiting for his next move. But as things progress, the ball slowly moves to me. Not that I’m necessarily comfortable with this position. When I have the ball, he’s all nice and sweet, harking to my every need to regain his stance. It’s uncomfortable. I’m not competitive by nature, and l know he’s going to get the ball back somehow — by not calling, looking at another girl or some other stupid play.
You know how everyone’s telling teenage girls to stay away from drugs, sex, and bitchy behavior?
Well, someone wants to put a stop to all the preaching.
Coolest Girl in School, a “mobile phone based game” (a term which makes me feel old, since I have no idea what it is) is about to debut in Australia, and parents are pissed.
“Game developer and producer” Holly Owen, the (no) brains behind this new game, says that the point behind Coolest Girl is to “”lie, bitch and flirt your way to the top of the high school ladder“, a description that makes me think Owen has “cool” confused with “total asshole”.
“It’s not about glorifying bad things, it’s about giving young girls the opportunity to play around with high school.” Owen says about her horrible idea, going on to muse “It’s a pretty ironic game because things that might seem obviously cool like taking drugs and smoking might work against you because you have to go to rehab or have stinky breath when the captain of the football team comes to speak to you.” Read More »
* “Mr Husband heard about the knicker crisis from his parishioners, decided to practise what he preached and so organised the volunteer knicker-runs.” Woo! Free underwear! (News.com)
* A New York man attacks a neighbor’s inflatable Halloween display: she heard hollering and swearing and looked outside to see Odee struggling with the giant pumpkin. “He was enraged. I could see that,” she said. (Yahoo!)
So, it’s been about a month into the semester and you’re suddenly feeling like there’s no light at the end of the social tunnel: no cute boys on your floor or in the apartment next door, no cool new chicks to chat with in your classes.
Now what? Will your whole year end up dull, boring, and steamy romance-free? It’s college lovey, such a thing cannot be!
Sure the guy next door spends more time on his Star Wars video games than he does on his personal hygiene, and yeah, maybe the girls down the hall blast Enrique during your Monday night Bachelor viewing (so not your scene) but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a sucky semester.
There are plenty other places on campus to scope out the cute boys and the fun girls. Read More »
Recently, Appalachian State University was in the news for winning a big football victory over Michigan. You may not have heard about it. It was also in the news because super smart Miss South Carolina talked about going there to continue her studies in “looking pretty, acting dumb”. You may not have heard about that, either.
But after today, you’ll never be in the dark about ASU ever again.
It’s not the biggest University in America, and it doesn’t have the biggest profile, but there’s something about Appalachian State that’s just…I don’t know…hot.
Who doesn’t enjoy rerun episodes of MADE on MTV? Sure, the show got annoyingly repetitive and started selling out near the end of the series, (what MTV shows don’t? Believe it or not the Real Worldused to have something to do with its title. And MTV stands for music television…ironic I know.) but overall it was highly enjoyable to watch an angry gothic chick try and make the cheerleading squad or a socially awkward Bible-thumper audition for the step team.
Anyone who ever watched the show undoubtedly considered, if ever given the opportunity, what they themselves would ask to be made into. My sister, (a highly uncoordinated 24-year old with no athletic experience) claims she would want to be made into a dancer. I’m not sure what I’d request. Maybe to learn how to surf. (In accordance to my unconstrained high-pitched glee, the roommates thought I’d either won the lottery or spotted one enormous cockroach. In fact, I’d just seen that Blue Crush was airing on HBO.) Plus, I’d probably get a free trip to California or somewhere nice out of it. Read More »
Sorry, but I don’t really like sports (or feigning interest in them to get a guy’s attention). If a guy likes football more than me, I’d rather he have football. I can’t relate.
You know how everyone’s telling teenage girls to stay away from drugs, sex, and bitchy behavior?
Who doesn’t enjoy rerun episodes of 
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