Chris Brown went from cute teen pop star to even cuter boyfriend of Barbadian goddess Rihanna, and ended up becoming the bad-boy of R&B. Or, more accurately, the guy who makes the music that we all feel guilty listening to because of the infamous incident.

Most of us can’t forget what Mr. Brown did to Rihanna, can’t get the images of her badly beaten face out of our minds. No matter how many catchy songs the guy attempts to put out.

So how are we supposed to feel about his upcoming stint on SNL?

Despite your opinions on how artists’ personal lives should influence their career, there’s no denying that Chris Brown messed up. Badly. In a very public way. In a perfect world, artists could pull a Miley/Hannah Montana-esque quick-change and keep their two worlds separate, but we know that’s impossible. So why is SNL choosing to promote and support him with the music guest spot on the February 12th episode?

Controversy is always a sure way to get viewers’ attention, and ratings and it seems the old adage “any PR is good PR” is true. At least for NBC and SNL. It seems as though they are choosing to reward Chris “beat-down” Brown with a coveted spot on the show, hoping to lure in viewers who just want to see how it all goes down.

In fact, it seems that SNL is turning into the most popular stop on the celebrity redemption tour. Check out who’s hosting next month. Hell, we wouldn’t be surprised if Charlie Sheen was on there next.

We’re now right in the middle of the Ten Days of Repentance, the week and a half following Rosh Hashanah during which Jews reflect on past sins they’ve committed and ask for forgiveness (kind of like Sunday Confession for you Catholics out there), as well as forgive those who’ve sinned against them (I always have a bit of trouble with this part…like, do I really need to forgive my friend for hooking up with my ex?). These ten days are supposed to prepare us for this weekend’s upcoming holiday, Yom Kippur. Otherwise known in my family as that day where every gets extremely cranky and hostile. Oh and extra bonus: my dad suddenly feels compelled to talk about his decreasing blood sugar every six minutes.

The Deal: Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the Jewish calendar. It’s the day that we ask God for forgiveness and for a good year ahead. Essentially, Jews believe that God decides on Yom Kippur whether or not the upcoming year will be the best ever, a living nightmare, or something in between. So, in hopes of swaying God’s opinion, we repent. We pray, we atone for our sins, we mourn those lost, and we look forward to a better future. It sounds depressing, I know, but it actually ends on an optimistic note and starts with the Kol Nidre service, which is absolutely gorgeous. We’re not allowed to play instruments, but the singing for this particular service is some of the most beautiful of all of our prayers. Unless your chorus has that token loud singer who insists on overshadowing everyone with her tone deaf voice. Like, you’re not Beyonce. You’re Shira Goldberg, head of the Scarsdale PTA.

In addition to Kol Nidre, we have a few other traditional ways of expressing our repentance:

The Fast: One of the biggest and best-known aspects about Yom Kippur is that we’re supposed to fast for twenty-five hours. Yes, this definitely can make us a little touchy (and might explain why your Jewish friend balled you out for tagging an unflattering photo of her last Yom), but the purpose is to cleanse our souls for our new beginning. Think of it as a colonic for the soul.  The more religious observers will take this a bit farther and, in addition to not eating or drinking, will also abstain from gum-chewing, showering, and even brushing their teeth (and now you’re like “so was that smelly kid of my freshman year celebrating Yom year round?” No, he was just disgusting).

No Leather: For Yom Kippur, Jews also abstain from using products created out of the hides of animals. That means no leather shoes, no leather belts, no leather bags, etc. The idea is to strip yourself of luxuries, especially those that come at the expense of another. Many Jews will also refrain from wearing make-up, perfume, or anything overly flashy. The goal here is modesty and respect. So yes, Yom Kippur is one of the few Peta approved Jewish holidays. But that could all easily change this year if my Rabbi takes a page from Lady Gaga’s book and wears a meaty tallis.

And if that’s not hard enough, we also have to stand for most of the 3-4 hour long services to ensure total focus on our prayers.

So, from half an hour before sundown Friday to Saturday half an hour after sundown (yay for the Lunar calendar), try not to eat or drink anything near us, and don’t be surprised if we apologize for that time last October when we borrowed your favorite bag without asking. We’re working on correcting our mistakes. Promise.

Oh and take note, minutes after the holiday is over we eat until we’re sick the game is back on until we have to repent again.

Please note: all writers AND editors involved are Jewish…and sarcastic. Really sarcastic.

Ahh, the blackout. These words have become oh-so-familiar over the past two years I’ve spent at this fine university. Sunday mornings – Gatorade and a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich in hand – I sit in my living room with my roommates, attempting to piece together the events from the night before. Looking through pictures, decoding unintelligible text messages sent to the cute guy from Calculus, my friend apologizing for puking on my shoes or stealing my pizza before I had a chance to get the door.

I can’t be mad at them though, or even blame them. Sometimes the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol takes over and there is no turning back. They are no longer the same person and are going to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Like the infamous girl-on-girl makeout sesh which is now plastered all over Facebook.

But like they taught you in elementary school, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And recently, that person was me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two vomit-includingly cute years. We moved in together in August to a new apartment where he makes me dinner after a long night at work, and we’ve even talked marriage.

We were the stereotypical happy couple until about two weeks ago during a blackout sorta night.

All of my friends were finally back in town before this spring (spring? There’s two feet of snow outside) semester started, so naturally we had to celebrate get wasted. After a long night of cheap vodka and too many shots at the bar, we went back to my friend’s apartment for afties. Just another successful night.

That is, until I realized that my boyfriend was missing and I had no idea where he was. I started roaming around the apartment. I looked in the kitchen, then the bathroom. Nothing. Finally, I peeked my head into my friend’s bedroom and there he was. Naked. On top of a girl. Who was also naked.

Naturally, I flipped the eff out. I screamed, I stormed over to the bed and pulled him off of her. I stared at him, anger bubbling up inside of me; his eyes were glazed, he was falling over, and he had no idea where he was. My boyfriend was beyond blacked out.

The rest of the night got a little hazy. I went crazy, taking justice into my own hands. Literally. The next thing I knew, I was handcuffed in the back of a cop car, blowing a .34 BAC (classy, I know) and being charged with domestic assault (apparently some neighbors called the cops to file a noise complaint). Not my finest moment. After I got out and was able to talk to my boyfriend again (sans fists), I demanded answers. But got nothing. He was blacked out the entire time; he didn’t remember being at the bar, going back to the apartment, or even how he ended up with a black eye and a fat lip. (Yeah, I totally JWowwed his ass. I was angry!)

And this fact alone has left me completely torn and unable to eat or sleep. My boyfriend betrayed my trust and really broke my heart. He sent me into a fit of rage I’ve never known before and made a fool out of me.

But can I really blame him for something that happened when he was blackout drunk?
Something that he doesn’t even remember doing?
Can that even be considered cheating?
Do I forgive him?

I honestly don’t know what to think.

The thing about this situation is that everything is not black and white. It would have been so much easier to just dump him and walk away if he was going behind my back on purpose. But he wasn’t. And while nothing technically happened (they didn’t have sex), it scares the shiz out of me to think what would have happened if I hadn’t walked in. It disgusts me to think about my boyfriend being with someone else, or what he was saying to her while they were in bed, or how he ended up there in the first place.

I definitely blame my boyfriend for getting that drunk. Mostly because he always gets that drunk. I blame him for putting himself in that situation and for putting me in that situation. But I still don’t know if I can blame him for what he actually did. I can’t hold him more responsible for his actions than my friend who pukes on my shoes, or the friend who always steals my food when she comes home from the bar drunk. I know neither of them would intentionally hurt me when they’re sober, so is this really different?  I’ve never gotten into a fight with my boyfriend, let alone had to deal with something like this. Until this incident, I never had a reason not to trust him.

Is this a good enough reason?

I understand that to many of you this seems like such a simple answer, but I’m seriously stuck. I love my boyfriend and we have so much history. I honestly don’t know what to do. What do you think? Can blackout mistakes be forgiven?

This month’s Cosmo

And, of course, some semi-misguided advice…
This month’s “Get Him to Kiss and Makeup” bypassed the easiest ways to get your boyfriend to forgive you (lingerie, dinner, hypnotism) and found four surefire ways to earn redemption for anything short of “cheating on him with his brother in their parents’ bed while his dog watched.” For the most part, decent ideas, but Cosmo always finds a way to work in the darndest things…

Give Him Room

Cosmo Says: Even if you want to talk things out, let your man blow off some steam by going out with the guys. “That’s how guys multitask.”

Kari Says: Alright, I can understand this. Sometimes I just need a little time alone to sulk, scream, or commiserate with the girls, but watch the expiration date on that time apart. Allowing too much time to pass before apologizing and discussing can create tension, allow anger to steep, or at the very least will earn you some bad-mouthing to his friends. Give him some time to calm down, but don’t go to bed still angry.

Don’t Out-Argue Him

Cosmo Says: Even if you can logically prove you deserve forgiveness, don’t. Bringing up a time when he screwed up and you forgave him will only distract and annoy. Also, we’ll forgive you when we’re ready, but it shouldn’t take too long.

Kari Says: See?! He just doesn’t need that much time alone. But enough of me proving I’m right, that would just clash with this Cosmo tip, which I happen to wholeheartedly agree with. If Cosmo (and life) has taught me anything, it’s that women are far superior verbal warriors than our male counterparts. So outwitting him when he’s already pissed off at whatever I just did probably wouldn’t be the smartest idea. Good looks, Cosmo.

Stroke His Ego

Cosmo Says: “Guys are never immune to compliments. Doing or saying something that makes him feel good not only, well, makes him feel good, but it also reminds him why it’s way better when he’s not mad at you.”

Kari Says: First of all, I’m a little disappointed in the lack of innuendo that could have been used in a paragraph with the word “stroke” in the title. Anyways, when it comes to boyfriends, they’d prefer to be literally buttered up rather than metaphorically. A well placed compliment after you’ve made up is a good way to ensure forgiveness, but not a good way to earn it. Telling him how smart, handsome or funny he is won’t go over as well if you’re arguing; it will make him feel like you’re trying to distract him from the situation at hand.

Be Tough On Yourself

Cosmo Says: “We don’t want you to beat yourself up—unless you’re doing it for our benefit.” Crocodile tears pair nicely with this, but keep that advice on the low.

Kari Says: I definitely think that when apologizing you should own up to your mistake without making excuses, but a dramatic monologue about how horrible it made you feel will only detract from your boyfriend’s feelings about the issue. Make the focus of your apology why you’re sorry you hurt him and what you can do to make him feel better; your selflessness will go a lot farther than belittling yourself. And yes, just like getting out of a speeding ticket, tears do help.

So what do you think? Have you ever used any of this advice to earn forgiveness? What do you do to make up after a big screw-up?