If fantasy football is a good enough reason for guys to disappear for days on end, then I hereby give you permission to set aside the textbooks and turn off your cell phone for what is going to be the greatest (and most stressful) week of TV all year. It seems like every. freaking. show. on TV is premiering this week. Not sure how you’re going to fit it all in??

Brace yourselves, I’m about to outline the next five days’ worth of what to watch, what to TiVo, and what to skip altogether.  Oh, and all new shows are linked to their previews so you can decide for yourself!

Good luck. And thank god for Hulu.

Monday, September 20

8:00

Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
Is it even possible not to watch this season’s train wreck assembly of contestants foxtrot their way to faux-fame?  TiVo so you can skip the commercials!
House (Fox)
Chuck (NBC)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
If you’re like me and have been going through Barney Stinson withdrawal through the whole, long summer then be sure to watch HIMYM live.

8:30

Rules of Engagement (CBS)

9:00

Lone Star (Fox) New Show (and uber hottie) Alert!
The Event (NBC) New Show Alert!
Looks like this is going to be the new trendy conspiracy show of the season.  Watch it live so you’re up on all the plot twists in case everyone’s talking about this one come Tuesday.
Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Charlie Sheen, go home.  Skip this one, in the name of wife-beaters everywhere!

9:30

Mike & Molly (CBS) New Show Alert!

10:00

Castle (ABC)
Chase (NBC) New Show Alert!
If you like cop dramas and girl power, hit record on this new show featuring a badass assortment of U.S. Marshals…and Jesse Metcalfe.
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) New Show Alert!

Tuesday, September 21

8:00

Glee (Fox)
If you don’t watch this one live, I can’t even speak to you.  Grab a big bowl of popcorn and get ready to sing your heart out.  Glee’s back!!
The Biggest Loser (NBC)
NCIS (CBS)

9:00

Raising Hope (Fox) New Show Alert!
There’s a cute baby, so isn’t that an instant reason to TiVo?
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)

9:30

Running Wilde (Fox) New Show Alert!
Since I love Keri Russell, I want to like this show.  But it looks a little stupid.  Set to record and watch it when you’re bored/hungover.

10:00

Detroit 1-8-7 (ABC) New Show Alert!
It’s about time for a cop show outside of NY/Miami/LA. And who needs cops more than Detroit? This is the perfect option to fill the void left by the original Law and Order. <Moment of silence>

Wednesday, September 22

8:00

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox)
The Middle (ABC)
Undercovers (NBC) New Show Alert!
Seemingly normal couple revert back to their previous lifestyle as undercover agents.  They then coin the term “sexspionage”.  Eh, I’d watch it.

8:30

Better With You (ABC) New Show Alert!
TiVo because the mom from That 70s Show has finally found a new home on TV!

9:00

Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
Criminal Minds (CBS)
Modern Family (ABC)
Yes, yes, yes.  I know, it’s brilliant and funny.  Watch it live for sure.

9:30

Cougar Town (ABC)
Totally underrated. Yeah, I said it. Plus, Jennifer Aniston is guest starring. Record it for those mid-afternoon breaks when the only thing on TV is old episodes of Gilmore Girls…which you’ve already seen 3 times.

10:00

The Whole Truth (ABC) New Show Alert!
The Defenders (CBS) New Show Alert!

Thursday, September 23

8:00

My Generation (ABC) New Show Alert!
This one looks like it could either be really great or really horrible.  Set it to record and make up your mind later.
Bones (Fox)
Community (NBC)
It’s baaaaack!  One to watch live, for sure.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

8:30

30 Rock (NBC)
S#*! My Dad Says (CBS) New Show Alert!
I for one am totally dying to know what kind of S#*! is going to go down on this sure-to-be-hysterical show.  If you loved the original Twitter account of the same name, this is one to record.

9:00

Fringe (Fox)
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
With last season’s crazy finale, do you really want to take your chances on the TiVo malfunctioning and not watch the new Grey’s live?  Or worse, saving it for later and having it all ruined for you by your status-happy girlfriend? Get real.
The Office (NBC)
CSI (CBS)

9:30

Outsourced (NBC) New Show Alert!

10:00

Private Practice (ABC)
The Mentalist (CBS)

Friday, September 24

8:00

Smallville (CW)
Medium (CBS)

9:00

The Good Guys (Fox)
Supernatural (CW)
Dateline (NBC)
CSI: NY (CBS)

10:00

20/20 (ABC)
Blue Bloods (CBS) New Show Alert!
Tom Selleck, for the win.  If you’ve got nothing else to do than marvel at a glorious mustache and take in yet another cop drama, then by all means.  But really, I’d advise just leaving a little earlier for the frat parties.  Nothing you need to see here.

There are plenty of things I’ll miss about the summer. But the bad TV won’t be one of them. I don’t know about you ladies, but I don’t think I’d be able to survive another week of badly written summer dramas, or so-good-it’s-bad-but-it’s-really-really-bad reality TV. Thankfully, the television gods must have heard our prayers (and our curses when we saw Wipeout was on AGAIN) and have brought back all our favorite shows.

So set your DVRs and mentally prepare yourself for all the excitement (!!!), because here’s a list of what to watch, and when.

The Show You Won’t Admit You’re Watching: Vampire Diaries
Premieres: Thursday, September 9, 8:00 p.m. on The CW

Where We Left Off: Stefan, Damon, Elena, and Bonnie manage to save the town from angry vampires and walk away unscathed, just in time for Damon to show Elena his softer side, and sneak in a quick kiss too. The only problem? It wasn’t Elena. In what was easily one of the most shocking season finales, Katherine, Elena’s doppelganger, and the Salvatore brothers’ first love, returns to kill Uncle John Gilbert. While John lies in a pool of his own blood, Elena’s brother Jeremy attempts to turn himself into a vampire. Elsewhere, Caroline has been rushed to surgery after a potentially fatal car accident and Tyler attempts to figure out what made him crash the car in the first place. Catch a glimpse of the new season here.

The Show You Can’t Stop Watching: Gossip Girl
Premieres: Monday, September 13, 9:00 p.m. on The CW

Where We Left Off: When we last left off, Gossip Girl was going full circle. Three seasons later little Jenny Humphrey lost her virginity to Chuck Bass, the same Chuck Bass who tried to do more than kiss her at the Kiss on the Lips party back in the pilot. When Blair found out, she banished Chuck from her life and banished Jenny all the way to Hudson to live with her mother. Back in Brooklyn, Dan and Serena shared a kiss that resulted in Nate returning to his man whore roots and Serena jetting off to Paris with her bestie, Blair. Oh and Chuck? His life is currently hanging in the balance after he was mugged and shot.  Watch the promo here.

The Show Everyone’s Watching: Glee
Premieres: Tuesday, September 21, 8:00 p.m. on Fox

Where We Left Off: Quinn delivered her baby. And Rachel’s birth mother adopted her. Puck admitted he loved Quinn. Finn admitted he loved Rachel. Mr. Schuster made a play for Miss Pillsbury. In the midst of all of this, New Directions performed at regionals. And lost. But everyone’s favorite villain, Sue Sylvester, managed to find them funding for another year. Adding to these already complicated plot lines, Season 2 brings new characters, new songs, and an episode dedicated entirely to the musical magic of Britney Spears (1.0). Want to hear some new tunes? Check out the promo.

The Show You’re Not Watching: Life Unexpected
Premieres:  Tuesday, September 14, 9:00 p.m. on The CW

Where We Left Off: Chances are, you’re not watching this show, but you should be. Life Unexpected premiered last January with ten heartwarming episodes. This mid-season show tells the story of Lux, a fifteen year old foster child who, after applying for emancipation, ends up back in the care of the people who gave her up. Enter Cate Cassidy and Nathaniel “Baze” Bazile, who know nothing about parenting. In fact, they don’t even know each other, outside of one backseat hookup at Homecoming. Add in Cate’s finance Ryan, and a couple of quirky characters you’ve got a can’t-miss-it show. Check it out here.

The Show You Don’t Know Why You’re Watching: Grey’s Anatomy
Premieres: Thursday, September 23, 9:00 p.m. on ABC

Where We Left Off: Last season’s finale was “game changing,” at least that’s how executive producer, Shonda Rhimes, describes it. I just call it jaw dropping. When a shooter runs ramped throughout the hospital, Derek is shot, and Meredith miscarries the baby her husband didn’t even know they were having. Meanwhile, the tragedy brings other couples closer. Callie and Arizona reunite, and Owen finally chooses Cristina, while Mark chooses Lexie. But who does Lexie choose? And how will Dr. Bailey and Dr. Webber fit into all of this? Oh, and are any of those pesky Mercy Westers (the ones that survived the finale) sticking around? Catch up on everyone’s favorite drama here.

Other Returning Favorites Worthy of Space on your DVR:

90210: The CW, Monday, September 13, 8:00 p.m.

One Tree Hill: The CW, Tuesday, September 14,  8:00 p.m.

Dancing With the Stars: ABC,  Monday, September 20, 8:00 p.m.

Modern Family, ABC, Wednesday, September 22, 9:00 p.m.

Cougar Town: ABC, Wednesday, September 22, 9:30 p.m.

The Big Bang Theory: CBS, Thursday, September 23,  8:00 p.m.

Private Practice: ABC, Thursday, September 23, 10:00 p.m.

Community: NBC, Thursday, September 23, 8:00 p.m.

Extreme Makeover: ABC, Sunday, September 26, 8:00 p.m.

Desperate Housewives: ABC, Sunday, September 26, 9:00 p.m.

Brothers & Sisters: ABC, Sunday, September 26, 10:00 p.m.

The Good Wife: CBS, Tuesday, September 28, 10:00 p.m.

Ugh, why isn’t this a national holiday?!

I realize there are still some people out there who haven’t quite caught the Glee fever and don’t yet understand why I prefer New Directions’ version of ‘Somebody to Love’ to the original by Queen. (Though I don’t understand how – even Oprah loves them!) But it’s not too late! Just set those DVRs for tonight and let me bring you up to speed. Trust me, you’ll be Gleeking out in no time:

Big Facts:

- Rachel likes Finn, who’s attracted to her but dating Quinn.
- Quinn is pregnant with Puck’s baby, but insists that it is Finn’s.
- Mr. Schuster’s wife, Terri, claimed she was pregnant with their child, but actually wasn’t. Instead, she had plans to adopt Quinn’s baby.
- Mr. Schuster is in love with the germaphobe guidance counselor, Emma, but refuses to acknowledge it due to his pregnant wife.
- Lonely Emma agreed to marry gym teacher/football coach Ken, despite the fact that she dislikes him. Ken figured out that Emma was in love with Will (Mr. Schu), and takes it out on the glee club by trying to prevent the guys from staying on both the football team and in glee.
- Sue Sylvester, coach of the Cheerios, consistently tries to sabotage the glee club, from sending cheerleaders to spy and wreak havoc from the inside, to co-advising and passing on the club’s set list to rival schools.
- Kurt is gay and Artie is in a wheelchair…. in case either of those weren’t obvious enough.

Where We Left Off (Way Too Long Ago):

- Rachel tells Finn what everyone already knew: that Puck is actually the father of Quinn’s baby.
- Schu discovers that his wife was lying about being pregnant and (yay!) kisses Emma in the hallway.
- New Directions wins regionals despite the fact that Sue Sylvester passed their set list on to the other schools, who performed them perfectly.
- Sue Sylvester is suspended from her duties when Mr. Figgins, the school principal, finds out what a manipulative, mean spirited bitch she is she’s done.

What’s Coming Up That’s Got Us All Gleeked:

- Rachel starts dating the male lead of rival group Vocal Adrenaline, who might be using her to sabotage the club! Did I mention that this boy toy will be played by non other than uber Broadway hottie, Jonathan Groff? Swoon.
- Sue is back and ready to take Schu on the Sylvester Express. “Next stop: Horror.”
-  Quinn will be mega preggers and may or may not give birth.
- Rachel and Puck, as well as Artie and Tina, might try dating again.
- Football season may be over, but the guys will start playing basketball… which is also coached by Ken. I can’t imagine he’s going to be too happy about seeing Emma and Schu living happily ever after. What will he do next?!
-  Neil Patrick Harris, Kristen Chenoweth, Eve, Olivia Newton John and Idina Menzel will all be making cameos.
- Madonna-themed episode!
- Beatles songs!
- Lady Gaga songs!
- A glee club murder?! “One of us gets killed off when a flying tap shoe smacks us in the face,” says Chris Colfer (Kurt).

Just kidding. I think.

And that’s that. Only 7 more hours to go before the big event; if you’re having trouble dealing with all that waiting, here’s a little taste of what’s coming. Oh, and for those of you who can handle it, a few spoilers!

There are some things you learn in life (and in textbooks) that you never forget.

We went to the moon in 1969.
Plants live by converting sunlight into energy through the process of photosynthesis.
Cows have four stomachs.

All of those things are important to know if you want to pass that middle school test, but when it comes to the real stuff – the life lessons – textbooks don’t hold a candle to TV. Yes, I’m serious.

TV – even the crappiest of the crappy reality shows – has taught me some invaluable lessons about life and the world. Things you can’t get from a 2 hour Intro to Biology lecture or a 4-credit History of English course. Below are a few of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from my nights spent on the couch, chips and salsa in hand.

One Tree Hill taught me: Never get married at 16, never shoot your brother, and never hire a hot nanny.

The Office taught me: Sometimes our superiors are inferior and we just have to deal with it.

One Big Happy Family taught me: It’s possible to be fat and happy, as long as you don’t mind breaking a chair on national television.

Teen Mom taught me: Use condoms. DUH.

The OC taught me: To give Jewish boys a chance.

Lost taught me: When you encounter a hatch, creepy cabin, or force field, do not go inside.

Friday Night Lights taught me: Explosions In The Sky always sets the mood… for football games, and for, uh, other things as well.

The Bachelor taught me: Pretty girls are crazy.

Desperate Housewives taught me: No one is off limits; not even your plumber, ex-husband, or neighbor.

How I Met Your Mother taught me: Awesome X Awesome = Awesome Squared.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson taught me: Things always sound dirtier when you say them in a British accent. “Would you like a banana?” (See??)

Late Show with David Letterman taught me: Never sleep with someone you work with… unless you’re a late night talk show host.

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien taught me: NBC sucks.

Real World taught me: Being a stereotype will actually get you far in life. If being on a reality show is considered “far.”

Friends taught me: “We were on a break” is not a valid excuse for anything.

Thank you, cable television, for guiding me through life. I don’t know where I’d be without you. And after watching Lost, I don’t even want to think about it.

You know that really annoying friend of yours who feels the incessant need to point out that they were the first to know about a now really popular band every. single. time. it comes on the radio?

As annoying as they are, there is something exciting about the knowing of a new band, new clothing brand, great sale, awesome book or recipe, and sharing it with the ones you love. And by ones you love, I mean the ones you go back and forth with right here on the CollegeCandy message boards.

So here’s the deal: every week, we will feature things that YOU think other CollegeCandy readers just have to know about. Anything at all. Nothing is off limits.

Guffly.com
We all are trying to be green: wear more green, eat more green, recycle more green, earn more green. But sometimes it’s hard because we don’t know where to look for the best products. And let’s face it – some of those eco-friendly fashions have been hit with the ugly stick one too many times. Not to mention the sometimes way-out-there price tags – I mean I could buy some Jimmy Choo’s for the price of some of these reusable forks, frocks and eco-friendly gym bags! But thankfully, Guffly has come to our rescue. Guffly is a one-product-per-day online store (perfect for those of us who get overwhelmed by too many fabu products at once!). They feature eco-friendly products and fair trade lifestyle goods like home, pet, clothing, office and personal accessories. They have made it their jobs (literally!) to find only the most stylish eco-friendly and fair trade products out there.  Now you can actually do something good for the environment, feel good about yourself AND still look cute. Sign me up. 

Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds (Dark Chocolate Flavor) 100 Calorie Packs
When 4:00 rolls around, you will not want to be my friend if I don’t have a snack first. This is the honest truth. But it’s always so hard for me to find a snack that:
1)      Fulfills the cravings for both something sweet and crunchy/salty (something I believe all girls can relate to)
2)      Will actually keep me full until dinner (AKA has protein)
3)      Isn’t so high in calories that I will have to resort to a bag of lettuce for dinner
4)      Is damn good

Okay so I’m high maintenance when it comes to snacks. But I’ve found the answer and it’s the 100 calorie pack of Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds!  I am usually not a proponent of 100 cal packs; they are filled with chemicals, artificial sweeteners and empty carbs that do nothing but spike your blood sugar leaving you ravaged and ready to tear into any vending machine goody you can get your hands on. (Read: first stop, my thighs!)  But these little gems (or Emeralds, rather) are a delish, protein (with chocolate!) filled treat. Throw one in your purse so you won’t have an excuse to buy that pumpkin loaf on your way to the lib.

Glee
You may already know about Glee, but it’s so good in that cheesy I-can’t-believe-it-takes-me-to-my-happy-place-but-it-does kind of way that for those of you who don’t know (or watch) I just had to share. The music: amazingness. The eye-candy: heavenly. Everything about this show screams “Guilty Pleasure!” except I don’t feel guilty. Not even a smidgen. When Lea Michele hits those high notes  the inner “I wish I was a pop star” comes right up to the surface and, before I know it, I’m singing in my hairbrush and dancing to Journey or Celine in front of my window (until my neighbors notice). Too much? Trust me – watch it and you will be doing the same!

Email your “The Know” ideas to Jill@collegecandy.com and I’ll pass them along to everyone right here, right now. Well, not right now, but soon. Like, every Thursday.

After years of airing reality shows that have been progressively more awful, I shouldn’t be surprised that Fox has yet again proven to be the network most willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel. Still, though, I’m amazed that the Hollywood Reporter claims there was “strong interest from several networks” in a TV show based on TFLN. Don’t get me wrong – TFLN is the second best. site. on earth (this is #1), but how exactly do you write a show about funny text messages? How could anybody have thought this would be a good idea? And isn’t there already a show highlighting embarrassing moments of 20-somethings? I think it’s called The Real World.

Maybe Fox is just trying to compete with whichever network ends up with the inevitably terrible Twitter game show, which promises to “harness Twitter to put players on the trail of celebrities in an interactive, competitive format.” Aaron Sorkin, creator of The West Wing, has also announced that he’s working on a feature film about Facebook. Seriously.

After hearing about movies and TV shows based on web sites, the film adaptations of board games like Monopoly, Candy Land, and Ouija Board that are currently in the works sound positively Oscar-worthy by comparison. What’s next, a movie about Netflix? A miniseries about Wikipedia? A weekly series based on FML?

Actually, what am I talking about? I’d totally watch that.

Last night I had a dilemma. A major dilemma. Involving TV.

You see, I wasn’t sure which I wanted – no, needed – to watch more: the Paris Hilton documentary on MTV, or More To Love, Fox’s newest dating show.

It was a tough call, but being that MTV shows everything 4,367 times, I went with More To Love.

Ever since I heard about this “Bachelor for real people” I was intrigued. Having grown up overweight (and not had my first kiss until the ripe age of 18!), I really got behind a show that didn’t focus on looks and really just gave everyone a chance at love. Or as much “love” as you can get by meeting someone through a reality show on Fox.

I settled in front of the TV with some (fat free!) frozen yogurt, excited for the “real” people that were about to find their soul mates. And what did I find? 60 minutes of sound bites for the likes of Chelsea Handler, Joel McHale and every blogger on the internet to rip into women with already questionable self esteem.

Seriously, even I couldn’t hold back on the jokes. And that’s bad.

There is so much wrong with this show that I don’t even know where to start. Lucky for you, I got really good at taking notes on my iPhone while watching, so here are some of my biggest issues with More To Love:

1. It is not for “normal” people. Instead, it is for beautiful women who happen to be really large. The “average” size of a woman in this country is a 12-16, not the 24-32 that was walking into the house last night. Obviously, these women are all gorgeous (not that their dresses helped, but we’ll get to that), but it is clear that Fox was trying to get some big ladies up in there for shock value.

2. The show is 100% about weight. I wouldn’t have a problem with discussing weight and weight issues on TV (hellooooo, Biggest Loser!), but this is supposed to be a show about finding love. That’s it. Why must every single person’s name, age, hometown, job and WEIGHT IN POUNDS be flashed on the screen whenever they speak!? Isn’t the show about falling in love based on what’s inside, not whatever number is being flashed to millions of Americans?

3. The dresses. It is clear that whoever dressed these women has never worked with a full figure before. The quadra-boob ratio was out of control, as were very unflattering cuts and shapes. And don’t even get me started on the hair-dos or makeup.

4. They were feeding the women. Meat. On a stick. Have you EVER seen anyone eating on The Bachelor? I think not.

5. Fox is taking advantage of vulnerable women. I’m not going to lie, I cried a bit last night when one of the girls mentioned how she’d never been on a date. I totally felt her pain. But then I had to wonder if Fox was bringing her on this show to find her love, or take advantage of the fact that she (and many of the other women) were extremely vulnerable with low self esteem, thus making some great TV.

6. The girl in the pool. I know that the creators have no control over what these women do, but I don’t think they needed to edit in that little bit where one lady jumped out of the pool in the most unflattering. possible. way. It was just plain mean.

Catch Jay Leno at 10 pm…every weeknight.

Gmail: now with to-do lists!

Homegirl lights her cheating husband’s junk on fire.

Clay Aiken kissed a boy, and he liked it.

Brrrr, it’s cold out there! Stay beautiful in the winter with these tips.

Want equal rights? Call in “gay” to work tomorrow.

Bah humbug about Hanukkah? We feel you.

Take criticism gracefully.

Everyone loves LiLo’s leggings.

Whoops! An NFL wardrobe malfunction.

* Bad Mother’s Handbook – ABC – (premires: Midseason) With a cast that includes Megan Mullally, Alicia Silverstone, and Arrested Development‘s Alia Shawkat, there is the potential for this comedy to either turn out okay or really, really suck. Mullally has Will and Grace, but she also has that horrible talk show that failed harder than Jessica Simpson’s country album. Silverstone has Clueless and she loves animals, but she’s also made a boatload of horrible movies. Based on the title, I’d say we have a situation comedy where Mullally predictably plays a hard drinking, irresponsible mother, and Silverstone plays her lovable and cheerful daughter. Hijinks ensue. Hijinks that will probably go on for about 5 episodes before getting the ax.

Gary Unmarried – CBS – (premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 24, 8:30 pm/ET) Jay Mohr and Paula Marshall (??) no doubt play either a husband and wife, a divorced-yet-still-talking husband and wife, or a shticky guy who can’t find a mate and his ever reliant best female friend. Jay Mohr tends to be funny 20% of the time. I have no idea who Paula Marshall is. And I’m so freaking tired of comedies where it’s all about finding a significant other. I predict maximum suckage and cancellation after 2 episodes.

My Own Worst Enemy – NBC – (premieres: Monday, Oct. 13, 10 pm/ET) Christian Slater is back and freshly botoxed. I have to bend the rules here a bit because I’ve seen a preview for this show every three seconds and it seems like CSlate plays a fuddy duddy dad and ALSO a secret spy killing machine — two personalities in one body! NBC tends to have pretty good taste, and I can’t deny that I’ll personally be tuning in for the first episode out of sheer Slater curiosity, so I give this show at least 10 eps before it gets the ax — if it gets the ax at all.

Privileged – CW – (premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9, 9 pm/ET) Anne Archer is the only person with a vaguely recognizable name in this totally obvious rip-off of Gossip Girl and The OC. Poor smart chick descends into the decadence of other rich chicks. Lots of couture name dropping. If people even remember this show is on, I’m guessing it’ll be axed before the end credits roll. There’s only room for one highly sexualized teenage romp-fest on the CW, bitch.

Do Not Disturb – Fox – (premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 10, 9:30 pm/ET) Jerry O’Connell and that hilarious woman from Clean House and Reno 911 (Niecy Nash) obviously duke it out all uptight-white-guy and sassy-black-woman style. I pray for both of them that this situation comedy works, but the idea is so old and frankly played out I sort of doubt it. Is it really news to anyone that uptight whiteness and sassy blackness tends to clash? At least on TV? Niecy, I love you, but unless you have some kind of Hail Mary sassy blackness surprise going on, I foresee cancellation after episode 3.

Honorable nostalgia mention: Knight Rider (premieres: Wednesday, Sept. 24, 8 pm/ET on NBC) I think most people will tune in because they want to see if this thing can actually work without the Hoff. Plus, I hear Val Kilmer is the voice of KIT, and even though his body looks like a lump of melted wax these days, his voice has always been mischievously sexy.

Honorable Dawson’s Creek mention: Fringe (premieres: Tuesday, Sept. 9, 9 pm/ET on Fox) Pacey works it in this sci-fi drama. I’m not a fan of sci-fi, but I’ll watch just to see how Joshua Jackson, the perpetual teenager, looks in his late 30′s.

Honorable Fierce Costume mention: Life on Mars (premieres: Thursday, Oct. 9, 10 pm/ET). Fab 70′s camera work and vintage style, plus Harvey Keitel and Michael Imperioli? If I have to make this show succeed all by myself, I will.

[What new shows are you excited for??]

Comedian Bernie Mac died early this morning (Saturday) at a Chicago hospital from complications from pneumonia.

Mac had been in the hospital for about a week prior, dealing with complications from sarcoidosis, “a rare autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in tissue, most often in the lungs”.

In addition to starring in “Bernie Mac Show” on Fox, Mac had spots in the cult classic “Friday”, the “Oceans” franchise, and most recently, “Transformers”. He also had a long stand-up career, highlighed in “The Original Kings of Comedy.”