My initial reaction: Now, I am in no way going to defend this obviously sexist Facebook message, but I am also not going to say I was as shocked as Lisa Belkin when reading it. Being the recipient of several variations of the same message, I felt indifferent — if not completely unmoved — by the evident sexist remarks. If anything, the message was just some boys being immature…

Lisa Belkin provides several other examples of “after-class sexism” that exist at other universities. From the Delta Kappa Epsilon chapter at Yale, chanting, “No means yes, and yes means anal,” to Kappa Sigma fraternity of Southern California who refer to women as “targets” who “aren’t actual people like us men,” there were many examples to pick from. Princeton junior Jared Griffin adds to this general feeling by correctly observing: “When the guys go [out] they are laid-back, casual, like they are going to class. But the women come in, in short cocktail dresses, makeup, high heels…”

Alright, now it is time for some self reflection. The more I read Lisa Belkin’s article, the more it sounded like my own university’s campus. It is true that women still dress up much more than men, that guys tend to throw the parties and thus have the control of the situations, and that direct sexism is still all around us. This does not make me feel proud. Maybe the worst of it is that I wasn’t shocked by the Sigma Nu Facebook message, or that I don’t give it a second thought when I witness someone doing the “walk of shame” early in the morning. Perhaps Lisa Belkin had the right reaction to all of this information after all: it really is wrong that we, as woman, submit to this type of treatment.

What do you think readers? Is sexism on college campuses still explicit and real? What can we do about it? Share your stories here. 

So it’s Spring Break and I only have two words: hell yes. Here are the top 10 ways Greeks keep it, well, Greek on vacation.

1.     More flags than the Olympics – You all know what I’m talking about… Greeks are extremely territorial, and this doesn’t stop on Spring Break. Those giant, obnoxious flags you see out on the beach (but can barely make out in your drunken state) are a point of pride for the typical frat-star.

2. Throw what you know – Confused by sorority girls throwing mystery gang signs on the beach for a picture? Don’t be. Fear not, you precious little GDI – sorority girls across the country this week are going on Spring Break, and will undoubtedly scrunch together, pose in the “sorority squat” position, and throw up their sorority letters with their hands. Harmless, I promise.

3. When mixing pastel polos, Sperry’s and board shorts becomes acceptable – By definition? The ultimate frat-star… and grounds to make any sorority girl cringe. But unfortunately, you are still going to see it. A lot of it. It’s frat boy beach fashion at it’s finest, and it’s not going anywhere. Brace yourself.

4. When it’s never wrong to bong – No lattes this week, ladies. Everyone knows that one person on your Spring Break trip. The one who starts his/her morning with vodka Red Bull and ends it with his/her head in the toilet….at 1pm.

5. Frat-tat – We all wish it didn’t happen. In fact, we’d never imagine it in our wildest dreams. But when the swimsuits come out, you might have the privilege of spotting some major frat pride ink down some guy’s side, on his back, or (sadly) his ankle. Brothers for life, yo.

6. Overcast & sunglasses on the beach = hangover – Let’s just straighten something up right now: don’t ever make fun of a sorority girl in her Ray Bans. It doesn’t matter if it’s pitch black and thunder storming outside, she’s clearly hungover. Let it be.

7. When cramming 20+ people in a hot tub doesn’t seem gross – Greeks are one big, happy family. On Spring Break, we are going to take full advantage of this.

8. Shacking Spring Break style – Shacking on Spring Break is so much easier… no classes to wake up for the next morning, no embarrassing “shacker” chants as you attempt to escape out the front door, and the walk home is a hell of a lot more when you’ve got your toes in the sand.

9. Liquid diet – There really isn’t much to say about this. When it’s time to put on a bikini, it’s time to get skinny! It’s common knowledge that a lot of girls’ theory is as follows: “I want to go running because my legs look fat, but I can’t go running because my legs look too fat” See what I’m sayin’? It’s a tough life.

10. The ‘frat-lap’ becomes a ‘beach- lap’ – Frat boys are still setting up shop down in PCB, so no worries ladies. You can still go from frat to frat on break.

What is the funniest think YOU have seen Greeks do on Spring Break? What does YOUR sorority do for Spring Break?

It’s a new year, it’s cold and watching all those romantic dates on The Bachelor has you pining away for a boy toy of your own. Boy toy? Let me rephrase. You’re not just looking for a guy on the side. You want something more permanent. Dare I say it? Boyfriend. You want a freaking boyfriend.

For some of us that word is so taboo; relationships have never come easy and are now a miserable and dreaded topic of conversation. Still, I think it’s safe to say that the average sorority woman might be looking for a little something more than a cuddle buddy.

But where are we supposed to find Prince Charming? Last I checked, Channing Tatum and Shia LaBeouf weren’t grabbing their morning lattes from the campus Starbucks…

I know what you’re thinking – the fraternities, right? Sure, it’s convenient. Sig Ep and Delta Chi are right down the street and it’s so easy to just walk over there every night and shack (shacking: see Urban Dictionary).  But fellow sister – you are so wrong. Why? Take it from me, living the frat-girlfriend life is moderately to severely miserable.

Check it.

Privacy?
Forget about it. Between you living in the sorority house and him living in the fraternity house…there isn’t any. Don’t lie to yourself- your house has a strict “no boys upstairs” rule, at least not over night. Not that it would matter since you’ve got 3 girls living in what should be considered a closet. So stay at his place… in cold air. (Cold air: dorm full of fraternity men that hear and see everything.) And that just covers the sleeping arrangements. The first time you try to find an available TV lounge to snuggle up and watch a chick flick together… yeah, good luck.

Bros before Hos.
Yep, you’ve heard it before and it’s no different for us sorority girls. Whether it’s an intramural game, case race, or some other bro-bonding experience we will come last. Yeah, yeah there are a select few great guys out there that are decent boyfriends and do their best to balance the time between their bromance and romance, but when you’re balancing 30 or more dudes and one girlfriend, the dudes always win.

Just one of the guys.
Don’t expect any special treatment. If you are going to date a fraternity guy, prepare to be treated like one. The crude jokes, the cheap drinks, and the sub-par living environment are a package deal. Appealing right?

My advice? Start exploring other options. At least you know the guys in Chem lab are actually going somewhere in life; I mean, they have a future in something other than professional beer bonging. Sure they might not be where the party is every weekend, but you can always bring ‘em to the frats work on that.

Have YOU had a bad experience dating a fraternity guy? How do you make things work with your fraternity boyfriend? Want to see what a frat boy had to say about this post?

[Got a question for our sorority girl? Email her at submissions [at] collegecandy [dot] com. In the meantime, get the DL on Greek Life from the women who are living it right here.]

What up, brah?

Every week, I write a list. Definitely not a to-do list (because it’s not satisfying checking “browse J.Crew’s website” and “Re-watch every episode of Rachel Zoe” off a list) and not “that list” (because I haven’t added to that list… in forever), but rather a list of whatever is relevant and weighing heavy on the CollegeCandy readers’ minds (or just mine) right now. This week? I’m all about the bros.

Love ‘em, hate ‘em, or love to Ice ‘em, bros are weighing heavy on CollegeCandy’s mind lately. Look no further than your local college campus or frat party to find the bro of your dreams. I think what’s so great about bros is that you just have such a diversity. From frat bros to sensitive guitar-playing bros to the chill smoker bro, there’s a bro for everyone.

But bros aren’t just creepin’ around your campus. Nope, you can even find them everywhere you turn in popped collar culture. They’re officially taking over the world….and I like it. In fact, here are ten of my faves.

10. Brett Favre: The Egomaniacal Athlete Bro.
A bro until retirement. Or  not. Or retirement again. Or not.

9. Nate from Gossip Girl (Chace Crawford): Trust Fund Manhattan Bad-Boy Bro
So maybe Nate is a bit more girly than your average bro, but you better believe with that slamming athletic bod, penchant for trouble and prepster style, he’s our choice Upper East Side bro. Plus, he’s totally got a secret, tortured edge to him.

8. Don Draper from Mad Men (Jon Hamm): Playboy Ad Exec in the ’60s Bro
Gotta love a bro who can drink during the day, schmooze with other bros and womanize like nobody’s business. It’s okay, it was the ’60s; that sort of thing doesn’t happen nowadays. Right?

7. Stifler from American Pie (Sean William Scott): Cocky Sex-Addict Bro
Our bully, douchey bro that we’d still love to nail. Plus, throw in a little Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) for the ultimate summer blockbuster bromance. No bromo.

6. The Situation (Mike Sorrentino): Guidbro
If you don’t know by now, I’m obsessed with the Jersey Shore. The Situation embodies the player bro, pulling out all the stops to get with girls and making up nicknames for the uggos like “grenades” and “landmines.” With the Ed Hardy shirt and those aviators, we’ve got ourself a guido-bro.

5. John Mayer: Super-Sensitive-On-the-Outside/Napalm-on-the-Inside Bro
Our quintessential narcissistic hyper-sensitive, “I play my guitar to woo the ladies” guy. There’s one at every party.

4. Mario Bros. (Mario and Luigi): Super Nintendo Bros
Come on, they’re Italian, they like pizza, they save princesses. What’s not to love? You know these two could totally get down with some DMB and ultimate frisbee.

3. David Wooderson from Dazed and Confused (Matthew McConaughey): Townie Bro
“I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age” What’s more bro-y than that? Plus he coined “L-i-v-i-n,” the stoner-bro chant of the century.

2. PHIL (corrected by “stacy”- thanks!) from The Hangover (Bradley Cooper): Prepster Greaseball Bro
It was difficult to pick just one Bradley (Bro-dley) Cooper bro for this list (his range of bro-dom is extraordinary), however, Stu from The Hangover perfected the sleezey-yet-hot bro goes to Vegas and made us all want to have him as our wingman.

1. Bluto from Animal House (John Belushi): Original Frat Guy Bro
How can you not make the guy who reinvented the toga into an ultimate frat party theme #1? Just imagine he’s smashing John Mayer’s guitar here.

And if you don’t see something you like here? Check out this movie where bros are automatically added to the classics.

When you think of Megan Fox, a lot of words probably rush to mind: hot, rich, talented, eccentric, lucky, sexy, gorgeous, every man’s fantasy.  Well, BroBible.com is telling us this isn’t quite the case, listing 10 reasons why they deem the starlet “un-dateable”.  Fox’s surprising real-girl status is revealed through a selection of quotes- some highlighting her lack of promiscuity, her less than top-notch cooking skills, and her discomfort with being seen as a sex symbol.

Which are all no-no’s in the eyes of a Bro.

Well, guess what, guys?  Looks like you’re sporting some serious deal-breakers, too.  Here are the top reasons we’d never look twice at a Bro:

They’re a**holes

The Bro says: “I can’t even motivate myself to f*ck the same girl after being with her for three months, so why would I want to sit at home trying to whack off to a low-budget porn starring her has-been ass?”

They’re cocky a**holes

Should any relationship with a bro take a turn for the worst, you’ve got some interesting things to look forward to.
The Bro says: “It is common knowledge that two wrongs always make a f*ckin’ right and one of the best ways to get over a girl, especially a two-bit whore of this magnitude, is to publicly humiliate her and effectively ruin her life.”

They’re cocky a**holes with hair issues

You wouldn’t guess from the way they keep those obnoxious flat brimmed hats glued to their heads, but most Bros are hiding horrendous hair – be it a bowl cut, a receding hairline, or no hair at all.  It’s like Kenny Chesney syndrome, only you can’t sing along with a Bro.  Also, be sure to flip down his polo collar and check that he’s not sporting a mullet…you never know!

They’re cocky a**holes with hair issues who over-generalize

The Bro says: “Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Southern girls are dumb as rocks while at the same time hot as sh*t. It’s really remarkable.”

They’re cocky a**holes with hair issues who over-generalize and practice casual misogyny.

Every day is Steak and a Blow Job Day to a Bro.  You can expect him to have as much charm as Ike Turner on an ego trip as he bosses you around and yells at you in public.  Now get in that kitchen, then get on your knees before he has to make you, woman!

They’re cocky a**holes with hair issues who over-generalize, practice casual misogyny and loooove the sound of their own voice.

And they love it loud, in your face, talking over your favorite TV shows, spouting obnoxious opinions, and quoting Will Ferrell movies.  Hansel, anything but hot right now.

And their fratty counterparts aren’t any better.

If you think that by going Greek you’re weeding out the less-than-quality guys, think again.  While they might look nice in their croakies and boat shoes, the thoughts bubbling under that Vineyard Vines visor are likely to make you run in the opposite direction.
The Bro says: “Getting hammered and trashing a hotel (along with yelling at other hotel patrons who should mind their own f**king business instead of telling you to quiet down) becomes just as much of an end-of-semester mainstay as finals week. The best part? Girls fully understand that when they accept an invitation to formal that they have to put out.”

And, really, how many times do these morons have to Ice someone before they realize that it’s. not. funny anymore?
Thanks but no thanks, bros. We’ll stick with the nerds.

Over the past few months, I’ve written a lot about how nervous I am to graduate, to leave college for good, and enter the real world. I’ve felt scared, nervous, anxious, and every other emotion that comes naturally to a graduating senior.

I’ve stressed about my lack of job, the economy, and how the heck I am going to figure out things like insurance, paying bills, and not drinking on Sunday nights. But despite all my reservations about leaving the wonderful world of college behind, I’m also really, really, fantastically excited to graduate.

Like many of you, I’ve had the best time over the past four years. I literally cannot imagine my life any differently. When I was a senior in high school, leaving my comfort zone for a college over 2,000 miles across the country was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. But it was also the best decision I’ve ever made. I knew no one and had no friends. But four years later, I’ve found a network of teachers, mentors, and peers that have helped me grow into the person I want to be. Who knows what my life would be like without the people I’ve met or the experiences I’ve had here in college?

Now college is almost over and I’m right back to how I felt in May of my high school senior year. I don’t exactly know what the next step is, but I think I’m finally ready for it.

Yes, I’m still scared and nervous, but I’m surprised at how excited I am starting to feel. And yes, a small part of me still wants to crawl up in the fetal position, turn on Norah Jones, and weep irrationally. But a bigger part of me wants to dance my face off to the Vitamin C graduation song, Jay Z’s legit version of Forever Young or Asher Roth’s I love College.

Not feeling the same way? Well with the help of my amazing and incredibly attractive friends, I’ve compiled a list of reasons why I’m excited to graduate. Read them and maybe (or maybe not) you’ll be a fraction more excited than you currently are about graduation day and that mysterious time they call life after college.

TOP 10 REASONS I’M EXCITED TO GRADUATE

10. No more shower shoes. Enough said.

9. Money – I want and need to start making it. I thrive in a work environment more than an academic one, so please someone hire me. But seriously, do it. I want to start a career already, instead of working on problem sets and papers. No more lectures!

8. To expand my network – I love the people I’ve met during college, but I’m ready to meet new people, have new conversations, and have new experiences!

7. A change of scene – I’ve been here for four years. I’m getting a little bit of cabin fever. I don’t want to end up like that creepy man from The Shining before graduation. And although I know I’ll miss this place incredibly, I can’t wait to move to a city!

6. To cook for myself – No more dining hall food or limited dinner options. If I want baked tofu for dinner, I can have it and no one can stop me!

5. Reading for pleasure – I miss reading books that aren’t required reading. I also miss a good beach read that is simple entertainment, rather than a brain challenger. Give me some Danielle Steel please, instead of an epic novel filled with symbols and metaphors that I have to struggle to understand.

4. To not feel pressure to party -…or drink on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday night… or any other day that ends in Y.

3. To get healthy – My body needs to recover from four years of late night eating, copious amounts of booze, and all-nighters. I have to remind myself that beer is not a food group despite my current diet.

2. To have my own space – Don’t get me wrong, I love my roomie…but I can’t wait to have my own space and my own room again. (Honestly, I just want to walk around naked whenever I want…). Also, I really don’t want to hear that girl down the hall having sexy time for the third time today.

1. No more frat boys! – I can’t wait to meet guys who are outside of the college mentality. No more popped collars! Also, totes looking forward to guys who understand that going to the dining hall for dinner does not count as a date.

What are some of the reasons why you’re excited to graduate?

Now, four years later, Max has a bestselling book (based on his website), another collection of stories set to be released soon, and a movie that comes out today. Max has been touring with I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell to college campuses all over the country since August, where, according to him, the film’s reception has been fantastic. He’s even been able to talk a girl into making an x-ray video of her giving him a blowjob during the tour. And judging by how much money The Hangover made this summer—over $270 million—it seems likely that the same idiot frat boys who’ve been attending Max’s premieres could make IHTSBIH a hit as well.

But why, exactly, are people enamored with this guy? Putting aside the way that Max has been called out for lying about his stories on several occasions, and the way that, despite his protests to the contrary, Max is obviously and venomously misogynistic (right, a guy who thinks “fat girls aren’t real people” doesn’t hate women), the fact remains that Tucker Max is. not. funny. Sure, his name is funny—it sounds like something Mattel would call a slightly wimpy action figure—but the stories themselves are nothing special. Unfortunately for Tucker Max, being convinced of your own originality and talent—and frequently referring to yourself in the third person—doesn’t automatically transform you into a comic genius.  The women (and men) who have been protesting Max during his tour have their hearts in the right place, but instead of calling him out for being a sexist prick, they should be objecting to how lame he is.

Most of the reviews of IHTSBIH give me hope for the future: Time Out New York calls it “painfully unfunny,” and the A.V. club thinks it’s “frankly boring.” The climax of the movie apparently involves Tucker “dashing naked through a hotel lobby with a case of explosive diarrhea from a can of beer laced with a laxative by a vengeful woman.” Um… hilarious?

Okay, the New York Times writing about explosive diarrhea is kind of funny.

Maybe, as those reviews indicate, the movie will finally convince people that Max doesn’t actually have much to offer. I’ll understand if this thing makes a ton of money, but if its box office returns are mediocre, I might get a small twinge of satisfaction. Then again, maybe I should just ignore all news relating to Tucker Max and spend my time watching things that are actually funny—like The Office, 30 Rock, and America’s Next Top Model—instead.

Wait, Top Model isn’t supposed to be funny?

Browse any website or bookstore and you’ll find things that defy explanation.  Really, who publishes these things?  Who thought it would be a good idea to publish guides on how to get laid more quickly?  There are enough frat boy a-holes in the world already, why create more?  Why aren’t there books on how to be more sensitive? Or, how to shut up and do what she says? (Just kidding, but you see where I’m going.)

Here is just a taste of some of the dribble out there. Beware of the boys wielding these books – things are bound to get ugly.

Copy, Paste & Bang! – This is a book, ostensibly, about making online dating work for men.  As in, making an online dating profile and getting laid within a 24-hour period.  After perusing the text and the reviews, I have come to the conclusion that this is a manual for internet predators.  The product description says it all:  “Copy, Paste & Bang! was written for one simple reason: to help regular guys meet women utilizing the Internet and to get you laid.“  Uhh…does anyone have Chris Hansen’s number?

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists - I hate you, Mystery.  And you, Neil Strauss.  Why would you take a perfectly adorable, shy, and socially inept computer geek and turn him into a douchebag player??  What a waste of resources!!  This book promises to teach men the secrets of picking up women in as short a period of time as humanly possible.  Awesome.  This way, men don’t actually have to get to know the women they’re about to sleep with.  Saves time, no?

The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide – How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho – …because, of course, all women are psychos, even if they don’t act crazy.  This book is a doozy.  I’m gonna let the product description speak for itself here:  “Women in courting mode are phenomenal actresses; many devote their whole lives to role-playing, camouflaged appearances, and storytelling. They manipulate men by dangling potential sex to satisfy their ego, play games, or vacuum your wallet.“  You can also learn how to protect your assets and shield your salary from a potential divorce.  Score!

Player’s Handbook Volume 2:  Advanced Pickup and Seduction Secrets For Men Who Love Women & Sex (and Want More of Both) – Lucky for  men, this book teaches them how to “never be without a sex partner – and how to handle multiple sex partners at once.  How to avoid the mistakes that 99% of most make when dating multiple women.  How to end a relationship, but still receive “benefits” and “special privileges.“  Wonderful!  I always wondered where that guy I was crushing on so hard Sophomore year learned all his tricks and tips.  100 pages of glorious douchiness.  At $11.95, I’d say this book is a mega bargain.

1200 Pickup Lines – Sample pickup lines include:  “I found this [lace glove, rosary, etc] on the floor at the club last night, is it yours?  Well, if it’s not, I’d like to give it to you anyway,” and “I wanna floss with your pubic hair.”  Thank goodness no one I know owns this book, otherwise I’d be a gonner for sure.  I mean, who can stand up the massive amounts of charm contained in this little tome of 126 pages?  Not me, my friend.  Not me.

I’ve learned a ton of useful things at college, and I hate to say (sorry Mom and Dad) that most of most of this knowledge I’ve acquired outside of the classroom. One pivotal lesson I’ve gleaned from my 3 years in school: dating in college is hard.

Coming from a school with a 60/40 ratio of girls to guys, with a large slice of that 40% uninterested in boobs, I’ve got very few choices. The pool of college boys has been unimpressive and disappointing to say the least – I’m sick of random hookups with frat boys (yes, it’s true) and trying to get a college boy to commit.

I know there are some great guys out there, but maybe I’m looking in the wrong places. I’ve heard tons of success stories about online dating, but honestly, I’m a little nervous.  I’ve dabbled in the online pool, but I’m still not sure it’s the right thing for me.

Help! I’m torn.

Love it:

There are SO many different online dating sites out there. Whether you use Match.com, eHarmony, or in my case, Jdate (give me a break, I won a free trial via Twitter), there’s definitely an online dating site for you. After a long day slaving away at my internship, it’s nice to come home to an inbox full of interested guys. It’s an amazing ego boost!

Even better, when you use the Internet as your matchmaker, the dating pool gets about 500 times larger. You’re no longer limited to the gay/too proud to admit they’re gay guys you meet in your PR class. And you can stalk a hottie’s profile and know right away if you share common interests. That means it’s easy to discard (and remove from your “matches”) the losers via obvious red flags like shirtless vanity shots, photos with tons of girls, or a bio that spends way to much time discussing the guy’s mother.

I love reading about a guy’s little quirks before I even meet him – it makes striking up that first conversation so much easier. Hell, if I could scan a room full of guys at a party and know instantly that the cutie in the blue polo shirt secretly likes word games, I’d totally start talking to him.

Loathe it:

If you think you’ve met the creepiest guy of all time in your bio class, well honey, you haven’t tried online dating yet. In addition to the clean-cut, dog-loving, recent Harvard grads, there are tons of creepy, old, pedophiles that would just love to strike up a conversation with a cute girl like yourself. Oh, and they sometimes ask to video chat.

Hey, I’m trying to keep an open mind, but to me, telling a girl you’re lonely and want to… err… get to know each other better by video chatting is just a little creepy. Seriously dude, get a dog.

And that’s not even as bad as the guys who don’t wave the creep/freak flag until you are actually on the date. Like that one guy who didn’t bring money and forced me to pay for the date. Awesome. As much as I love laughing about a horrible date with friends or writing about it on my blog, sometimes I’d rather just be home watching More to Love than wasting my time on this dud.

There is also the fact that people present themselves much differently online than in real life (I’m talking to you, Mr. I Gained 30 Pounds and Grew a Rabbi Beard But Never Changed My Photo), that coming home and chatting with new guys online nightly is super time consuming, and, don’t forget, that giant stigma attached to finding love online.

Grrrr.

As I write this, I let out a huge sigh of frustration. Dating is hard, and maybe online dating is really no different than dating in a traditional sense. Maybe this post should have been titled “I’m Torn: Dating,” because honestly, I’m getting a little jaded. What would you guys do – suck it up and keep meeting guys around campus, or take the plunge and have the Internet find “Mr. Perfect” for you?

So the time had come again at Syracuse for Alcohol Awareness Week. Basically this is a week where students, okay mainly Greeks, are supposed to be more “aware” of alcohol. This “awareness” is culminated in an event called “mocktails” on Friday night. Each sorority is paired up with a frat and then they have a sober party. Not like “let’s just take a little shot beforehand” kind of sober, not “just one joint” kind of sober, not “a bottle of wine with dinner” kind of sober, but actually sober (yeah, the frats were confused about it too and asked if the mocktail money could possibly go towards the purchase of a keg).

While I’m usually the first to hop on (and steer!) the Friday night drinking train, I coudn’t help but be a wee bit reluctant to get my ticket for the Friday night sober train. I mean, really, what could that possibly be like? Unfortunately (or fortunately if you like to look at your mocktail glass as being half full) the thing about the Friday night sober train was that it was mandatory and my ticket had been purchased for me.

So, you ask, what goes on at a completely sober party? And how do people party withut the aid of mind numbing alcohol? Below is a pro/con list of my sober Friday night experience. And let me tell you; getting ready for the party without playing 3 games of Kings was a very strange feeling…

Con: (Yes, I’m starting with a con, cause that’s how the night started.) Upon arrival, things look like a middle school dance: boys on one side, girls on the other. Socialization seems to be severely impaired by this new idea of sobriety.

Pro: The thing about drinking a mocktail is that they don’t make you want to vomit! Yay! Pro!

Con: Unfortunately, other thing about mocktails is that they turned out to be a pitcher of Kool-Aid…

Pro: As the night went on, my make-up stayed in place, my hair stayed where I put it, and I ended the night without looking like a clown!

Con: It turns out people are generally confused about what to do without alcohol. Without some sort of set activity or drinking game, people seem to not really know what to do with themselves, leading to much couch sitting.

Pro: Not spending money on alcohol led to some pretty sweet decorations: aka streamers

Con: Soberly, dancing consisted only of girls; I guess guys are not as interested in dancing if they don’t have alcohol to lend confidence to their moves

Pro: Alcohol-free parties apparently include snacks! Delicious snacks! Gotta replace those alcohol calories some way…

Con: Time seems to drag on when you were sober. You know how when you are drunk suddenly you look up and its 5 AM? That doesn’t happen when you are sober…It’s 9:15 and then what seems like an hour later…it is 9:18…

Pro: Okay I’m out of pros.

Call me an alcoholic if you will, but after a week of stressful classes I want a cocktail, not a mocktail. Sure, having to do this once didn’t ruin my life, but this Friday I’m gonna have to drink a few extra shots of Svedka to make up for it…