Question:
So I know that the year is nearly over but I thought I’d send this question anyway. I’m a sophomore and I had an awesome freshman year. I met a bunch of people, I had friends on my hall and it seemed like there was always something to do. And now it’s just not the same. My friends are spread all over campus, my classes are harder and it feels like I’m stuck in the middle: I’m too old to go to frat parties but I’m clearly not old enough to go to the bar. This year just isn’t fun. Is this just me? Do you guys know how to fix this?

GPA Girl:
I believe this is commonly known as the “sophomore slump,” girl. And I don’t want to judge, but it sounds as if your sophomore year isn’t turning out to be so great because you are determined to believe that it’s not as good as last year. I think you need to stop comparing and start considering things differently. The trick is to focus on what’s good and, if possible, to manufacture your own fun. 

Throw a party in your dorm or reserve a lounge to gather all your friends together. You could easily do this once a week, even if it’s just meeting for coffee or studying in a group at the library. If you want to see your friends more, there’s no one stopping you. You also said your classes are harder this year. Well, I know this is a pretty typical “GPA Girl” thing to say, but… didn’t you come to college to learn? If your classes are easy for you, you’re probably not learning much. If you can’t seem to understand anything, though, just drop by your profs’ office hours. People want to help you! Finally, remember that not every party on campus is a frat party, and you don’t have to hit up the bar to have a great time–throw your own party, or find an under-21 hang-out spot that you and your friends love. You really do have to take matters into your own hands. If things are tough for you right now, make them easier! No one is going to do it for you.

Busy Bee:
Sometimes, we have to face the fact that not all things can be as great as they once were. I’m not surprised your freshman year was more fun – it should be, given the fact that it was your first year in college. Many people often feel this way their sophomore year. I’m not sure if there’s a real quick fix, except to just tough it out. There’s only a few more months left in the semester, and the best you can do is to just keep at it until summer arrives. Instead of focusing on your social life, why not try excelling in your tough classes or working on some of your personal goals? School is not always fun, but it’s what you make of it. Also, if you barely see your friends anymore, maybe they’re not really your friends (no offense!). Try making some new ones or joining a club – the bond you create from a shared interest usually creates longer lasting friendships. I say, just try to get through this semester the best you can. As for your partying dilemma, I’ll leave it to our Party Girl!

Party Girl:
Whoa, whoa, whoa – did you just say “too old to go to frat parties”??? Honey, if you’re still going to college, you’re never too old to go to frat parties. Frats are there to serve the needs of the university population who are still too young to go to the bar. I think you’ve hit the “sophomore slump.” I had a similar experience during my sophomore year. Then I realized that my friends were closer than I thought and a house party gets you just as drunk as the bar (possibly even more drunk…it’s so cheap!). Your campus can’t be so large that a simple 20 minute walk wouldn’t get you to a friend’s place. You have so many options! When you finally turn 21, you’ll look at your bank account and start fondly remembering the days of house parties when a cup was $5 and you were encouraged to do keg stands. Seriously – cherish this time. House parties, frat parties, sneaking flasks into the movie theater – all of these are cheap, accessible options to drink underage with your buddies. Grab a friend and take your pick!

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Everyone needs a little guidance now and then (or always) so we’ve pulled together a variety of perspectives (the does-it-all girl, the party girl and Ms. Study Lounge) to weigh in on your life conundrums and give you the best advice we can.

Every week they’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers to keggers before classes, they’ll do their best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Not sure about class scheduling? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I started going out with a guy right before I left for college. I really like him, but he goes to school in a different state and I feel like I’m missing out on a lot with my friends when I’m on the phone with him every night. He totally trusts me so it’s not like he’s annoying or anything, but this whole LDR thing is really taking up a lot of time. What do you guys think of long distance in college? Good idea or bad?

GPA Girl:
LDRs suck no matter how you slice it or where you’re at in life. If you really love someone, it’s awful to be far away from him or her. However, it’s sometimes worth it, especially if there’s an end in sight. I suspect this question is not really about long distance in college but about your relationship in particular. What I’m reading in between the lines is that you’re not head over heels for this guy and you kind of feel as if he’s limiting your options, whether those options be hanging with your friends or smooching other dudes. Is that true? Be honest with yourself. If so, I’d cut your losses and move on. If that’s not the case, you’ll know it and the idea of breaking up with this guy will seem ludicrous to you. Trust me–I’m in an LDR right now, and the guy I’m with is so amazing that I wouldn’t blink at dating him long-distance for years if I had to because it’s more than worth it just to have him in my life. Which situation is your relationship? You make the call.

Party Girl:
First of all, you shouldn’t have to miss out on any time with your girls just because of an LDR! Change your phone calls to morning or afternoon and maybe just go every other day. Night time is for friends and partying (and sometimes studying…but mostly drinking). If you feel burdened by this guy, just let him go. Maybe after college you guys can pick it up again, but now is the time to have fun! If you can’t see yourself breaking it off, then make the phone calls convenient for you and always make time for your friends. Some of the biggest benefits of long distance relationships is that you don’t have to worry about your boyfriend seeing you come home all sloppy from a frat party (unless someone posts Facebook pics…) and you can have girl time whenever you want it. If this LDR is impeding on those things, it’s time to switch things up. In the end, it’s your decision whether you stay with this guy or not, but this relationship should be making you happy, not stressed.

Busy Bee:
Unless you think that there is really good chance that you two will last for a while, then this LDR is a no go. I strongly believe that college is all about the experience – guys are just an accessory to it. You say that the LDR is taking up a lot of time, and that’s time out of your job, friends, late night fun, and crazy memories. You don’t want to look back on this year wishing you had ditched the phone for random dorm adventures, do you? I say, don’t cut him off completely, but keep it light and just as friends. If you guys still have a strong chemistry throughout the year, then try it out again in the summer. For now, I think you should focus on school, enjoying all the things your school has to offer (student groups, field trips, IM sports….), and, most importantly, what you can and experience see in front of you.

What do you all think?

It’s the weekend. You managed to stay awake through 15 credits worth of lectures. You read a chapter or two. You wrote a paper, a lab report, and an email to your mom asking for some cash. It’s time to let loose! Only problem: there are so many freaking options! Holler for a Dollar at the university pub, or a toga party at the craziest frat house on campus? Let’s break it down.

The Host:

If you show up to a party that you heard about from a friend of a friend of a friend, it can be a tad awkward when you first walk through the door, unless it’s a frat party where you pay at the door. (Show them some money and you’re always on the guest list.)

Of course, at a bar, you always belong. The bartender serves as the host. You always know where to find the him, and he is always willing and able to open the liquor cabinet and serve you. At a house party, the host can be hard to find once they’re mingling with other partygoers, or on the front porch begging the cops not to shut down the party. You don’t want anything to come between you and your booze.

Point: Bar

The Cost:

Typically, the house party falls into two price categories: $5 a cup, or the cost of the booze you bring yourself. In either case, it’s cheap.

Obviously, the bar is going to be pricier, unless it’s a college pub offering nickel night, fifty-cent pitchers, or some variation thereof. If that is the case, the bar isn’t such a problem, but generally one or two drinks at a bar will cost you more than a whole bottle at the liquor store.

Besides, as someone who gained notoriety for spending $75 at “Ladies Drink Free” night, I can attest that once you get buzzed, you’re bound to spend more than you intended, even when the pub’s practically forcing the booze on you.

Point: House Party

Security

The bar is lined with bouncers. The party is lined with drunk guys who think they can serve as bouncers if any trouble erupts. Furthermore, many bars have coat checks so you can leave your coat, and even your purse, once you’ve slapped down a credit card and barked, “Keep it open.” At a house party, people filter in and out of rooms, and it’s easy for someone to snatch your stuff.

Point: Bar.

Activities

The bar usually consists of no more than one type of entertainment: a live band, karaoke, or a dance floor. Smaller pubtype places usually only feature a jukebox and maybe some foosball.

A raging houseparty often has different drinking games in every room: A**hole in the living room, flip cup on the porch, beer pong in the basement, plus a whole open backyard to mingle. Many college bars are stepping it up a notch by hosting beer pong tournaments, and there are plenty of multi-level clubs, but it’s way easier to room-hop at a houseparty. Besides, you can’t shotgun, funnel, or ice luge at a bar.

Point: House Party.

The Potential

I’m going to generalize here, but you run into more people you know at a party than at the bar. I’m talking about house parties, after all, not frat parties, so usually the guest list is confined to friends and friends of friends.

If you and your girls are looking to get skankified and find some new meat, usually you’re going to head to the bar. There’s never the same guestlist twice at a bar. Besides, if you wear a cute miniskirt and stilettos to a house party, you might sink into the ground when you pop a squat in the woods.

Point: Bar

The Bathroom Situation.

The house party will have a line. The bar will have a line. However, chances are the host at least tidied up the bathroom before the shindig began, and often people are respectful enough at a house party to NOT piss all over the seat. Come 1 a.m. at a crowded bar, and you’re going to walk out of the bathroom in need of a Tetnis shot.

Bonus: You can always head to the woods if you can’t wait in line anymore at the house party. You may encounter a problem if you head to the parking lot of a bar and pee next to a car. Trust me.

Point: House Party.

The Crowd.

If the crowd at a party peaks at 10 guests, it’s not going to go down in history as Party of the Year. You might even call it a flop. The same goes for a dead bar.

So what if the place is too crowded?

If the bar so crammed that the line to the bar is at least five people deep all around, and you’re so squished that you can’t lift your glass without elbowing a stranger in the back, it can be quite the buzzkilll.

If the basement of the house party is too crowded, you can wander upstairs. If the living room is too crowded, you can hang out on the porch. If not the porch, the backyard. Variety and lack of sweaty people rubbing up against you definitely leaves the house party on top.

Point: House Party.

Well, folks, that’s my general breakdown. Personally, I prefer bars to house parties every time, but to each their own. And there’s always an exception to every rule. If you are on the bartender’s good side, a night at the pub can feel like your own personal house party. Sometimes you may just want to slap that Financial Aid money down on the counter for an overpriced, watered down drink.

Sometimes, a Monday night can be more memorable than a Saturday, and it’s those unexpected sh*tshows – wherever they may occur – that live on in your memory (or lack thereof) forever.

It’s the weekend – take your pick. And remember, you’re only young once so make it count.

In college, tradition is everything and there is no tradition more important, more long-lasting and more talked about than hooking up with the college freshman.

I can’t tell you how many times I watched my friends drool over the freshman girls walking in and out of the dorms. They plotted, they schemed and they visited frat parties in an effort to woo the ladies girls back to their filthy apartments.

But, why?!

What is it about this group of girls that is so appealing? And why, with so many awesome ladies already roaming around campus, do guys feel the need to “hit that sh*t”?

Let’s find out:

He Said:

It’s the beginning of the new school year, and you know what that means—hot freshman tail to chase! At least that’s what us upperclassmen guys think of when we start the new semester.

With droves of 18-year-old hotties filling in the ranks, hooking up with as many of them as possible becomes a matter of intense interest for returning dudes. But why freshmen?

First, because they’re new to the scene, they don’t know if you’re a loser or not. They’ve just come from who knows where, fresh into the world of “adulthood” (if you count being in college as adulthood), and you can tell them pretty much anything (within reason) without them knowing any better.

Second, because chicks often prefer to date older dudes, your position as an upperclassman automatically gives you the illusion of being wiser–or at least more experienced, which translates into attractiveness. You already know where to find your classes, where the best bars are in town, which parties are must-go-to’s, etc… so taking a freshman chick under your wing is as simple as shotgunning a beer. Or at least it’s easier than trying to convince someone who already knows you that you’re worth their while.

Lastly, it’s a matter of male pride. Despite what the reality is, freshmen seem strangely young an innocent when they first arrive, untainted by the harsh realities of the “real world”–or at least the party scene. So all guys want to scoop up the newly arrived babes before all their dirty, rotten classmates get to them first and ruin all the fun. Remember, it’s only a matter of time before these nubile newbies have a reputation too.

She Said:

When I was a freshman I believed anything and everything people told me and I would do anything to get into the coolest frat party in town (which were never really that cool anyway). Knowing that, I can totally see why guys are always flocking to the freshmen. It is easy prey.

But that doesn’t negate the fact that it is totally scummy and disgusting. How guys can sit on their raunchy futons and celebrate the naivety of the freshman (and their desire to bone one) and take pride in it is beyond me. Also, how they can even touch the futon blows my mind.

Think about it: the only difference between a freshman and anyone else on campus is the fact that they are new, “pure,” and young. When a guy goes after one, then, he is not doing it because he thinks she is cute or smart or wonderful; he thinks she is young, naïve and will take off her pants without a problem.Very mature, boys.

It is not that I am opposed to hooking up with a freshman – some of them are pretty effing hot and I always thought it would be fun to head back to the dorms for a little twin-extra-long action (you know, for old times’ sake) – but I am against hooking up with a freshman simply because they are one. Well, that the fact that I prefer older men…who know what they are doing below the belt.

Freshmen are nothing more to me than the new kids on campus who are walking around in packs, puking from their inability to handle their alcohol and stealing all the older guys on campus.

And don’t forget about your face.

Those dark circles under your eyes. The wrinkles from all that smoking (first or secondhand!).

Ugh. Partying is not a pretty thing. But what are you supposed to do….stop? Ha! You are no quitter, sister. What is the point of having a pretty face if you can’t take it out on the town? On the other hand, though, if your face is heading downhill now imagine what it is gonna look like in 20 years!

What to do, what to do….

How about Botox? This needle full of poison isn’t just for old ladies from Orange County anymore! Now you can have it too! It is all the rage in Ibiza (where partying/sun bathing is the key to life) where women are pumping their faces full of the stuff to ward off the evils from partying.

“When I tell people I’m 25, they never believe me. It’s amazing considering the kind of lifestyle I lead. It’s non-stop partying from the moment I get off the plane, and I usually come to Ibiza at least twice a year. This means a fortnight of drinking a lot and getting hardly any sleep.”

Now that is some serious dedication. I applaud you, women. Don’t let anything get in the way of your dreams!

Think about it: the best pictures of your collegiate years are all from nights where you’re wearing the most ridiculous clothing, are covered in highlighter, or are standing ankle-deep in a foam/beer mix. These are what we live for, and mistakenly document weekend after weekend. (I mean, who thinks it’s a good idea to bring the camera to the foam party?)

We’ve all been to an 80’s bash, been CEOs (or rather, CE-Hos), done anything for an A, and dabbled in the Heaven and Hell parties, sure. But, why keep the themes to the actual event? What if you started the fun a little earlier? Why not take your pre-gaming life to the next level?

I bring you, the Themed Pre-Party:

The Little Kids’ Birthday Party. Birthdays are fun for everyone… so we threw a party for all of us. We went all out: hats, pinatas full of the shot-sized liquor bottles, liquor to make birthday cake flavored mixies, and of course, an actual birthday cake. We had one mostly-sober person in charge of pinata breaking, and (surprisingly!) only one injury occurred (bruising, nothing serious). Best part of the evening? The doorman at our favorite dirtball basement bar let half the girls in without paying cover because we were wearing party hats and said it was our birthday (even though all of our ID’s said otherwise). So much fun!

The Ghetto Fabulous Party. All you need is a $10 pack of Hanes mens’ white tank tops (affectionately referred to as beaters), a dark or colored bra, and a baseball cap, cocked to one side. If you’re feeling adventurous, invest in fake bling, and make your playlist all hard-core rap. Everyone starts the night with a 40 of their choice, and if you’re feeling extra classy, you can even go with malt liquor.

The Classy (ish) Holiday Party. As my roommates and I were of varying backgrounds, we threw a sick Chrismakkuh party (I still have a crush on Seth Cohen) around the holidays, even getting a photographer for the event. We specified in our Facebook invite that cocktail attire was suggested, and we made a fancy, colorful jungle juice. There was boxed wine passed around downstairs, and I think overall we were successful. We even had one of our roommate’s dogs staying with us at the time, and he ran around with antlers on. (We had a sober monitor take care of him—no puppy was harmed in the making of that pregame.)

The Tea Partay. Hello, Yuppie. I’m sure you remember this YouTube segment from almost two years ago (click here if you missed this Smirnoff Raw Tea ad). I own my preppiness, and I think it’s fairly safe to say many a college student has those chach-y guy friends with pastel polo shirts, chino shorts with some sort of critter, and, dear God, let’s not forget the madras pants. (My item of choice? Seersucker.) Almost no one escapes life without buying some form of polo shirt or short skirt, so you’re pretty well set even if you’re not sponsored by J. Crew. Think country club, only drunk. This best coincides with Bar Golf, but can stand on its own fairly well, and you may consider playing Caddyshack in the background. And remember, “no one’s hotter than a New England gangster.”

Got any other ideas?

[Photo courtesy of collegeubiquity.wordpress.com]

Who wants to wait in those long lines freezing to death in a mini skirt and tube top in the middle of winter? Who wants to be packed into a small room with sweaty men groping your ass at every turn?

Who wants to listen to that awful rap music boasting illegitimate children and millions of dollars worth of bling blaring from oversized speakers?

Not me…or so I thought.

Look at me now: freezing to death in a pair of jeans and a button down, waiting in line to get into a crowded room where older and sleazier men are trying to pinch my butt while grinding to awful rap music blaring from oversized speakers.

What’s the difference?

I am now paying for all of these lovely amenities.

Why is it ok to take part in these activities at a bar and not at a frat party? What is the difference, really? And, think about it, which one really is better? Let the battle begin:

Frat

No Toilet Paper- some women have been forced to drip dry or–gasp!–use items such as leaves and notebook paper while taking care of business.

Bar

Usually have toilet paper, but not always a working toilet. Some squatters have even been known to brush up against pre-used TP piled high in clogged bowls.

Frat

Beds nearby. This is a lovely perk of fraternity houses, making it easy for their members (and guests) to get a lil somethin’ somethin’ and still make it back to the party for a little more beer.

Bar

Beds a few blocks away, but corners and alleys also do the trick. One perk of the necessary walk is the chance to sober up before heading to bed. There is nothing worse than having the spins while getting it on.

Frat

Shady guys looking for one night stands.

Bar

Old men looking for one night stands.

Frat

Theme parties. There is nothing better than a Tennis Pros and Golf Hos party, or any reason to dress super slutty for that matter. Frats always know how to keep things exciting.

Bar

The only things spicing up the evening at a bar is the drink special of the evening. And I have learned – the hard way – that no matter how sad, it is never acceptable to sport a toga/ naughty school girl outfit to the bar.

Frat

Free (but gross) Beer!

Bar

Not free (but semi quality) alcohol.

So those are the facts. Which is better? That is up to you to decide. As for me, I am out of college so no matter how much I enjoy some Milwaukee’s Best (and nearby beds), I think my frat partying days are over.