My initial reaction: Now, I am in no way going to defend this obviously sexist Facebook message, but I am also not going to say I was as shocked as Lisa Belkin when reading it. Being the recipient of several variations of the same message, I felt indifferent — if not completely unmoved — by the evident sexist remarks. If anything, the message was just some boys being immature…

Lisa Belkin provides several other examples of “after-class sexism” that exist at other universities. From the Delta Kappa Epsilon chapter at Yale, chanting, “No means yes, and yes means anal,” to Kappa Sigma fraternity of Southern California who refer to women as “targets” who “aren’t actual people like us men,” there were many examples to pick from. Princeton junior Jared Griffin adds to this general feeling by correctly observing: “When the guys go [out] they are laid-back, casual, like they are going to class. But the women come in, in short cocktail dresses, makeup, high heels…”

Alright, now it is time for some self reflection. The more I read Lisa Belkin’s article, the more it sounded like my own university’s campus. It is true that women still dress up much more than men, that guys tend to throw the parties and thus have the control of the situations, and that direct sexism is still all around us. This does not make me feel proud. Maybe the worst of it is that I wasn’t shocked by the Sigma Nu Facebook message, or that I don’t give it a second thought when I witness someone doing the “walk of shame” early in the morning. Perhaps Lisa Belkin had the right reaction to all of this information after all: it really is wrong that we, as woman, submit to this type of treatment.

What do you think readers? Is sexism on college campuses still explicit and real? What can we do about it? Share your stories here. 

So gather round and listen up as I go through the essential ingredients to have the ultimate (and by ultimate, I mean typical) frat party. (Get more Greek life right here!)

1. Jungle juice in bright, possibly neon, colors. Every great party has a Gatorade cooler filled with Everclear,  a package of Kool-Aid,  and some mystery brew. Ladies beware, this concoction will be high in sugar (to mask the alcohol), and high in regret potential. It will also stain the sh*t out of your favorite dress and turn even the quietest of girls into life (or mess) of the party. Get a few recipes right here.

2. Frat stars in polos/jerseys with pit stains a mile long. Basement parties get really super sweaty from the body heat of 100 people jammed into one room, grinding one another into the wall. So guys in hats and polos dripping in sweat is a frat party necessity. By the end of the night, it might even be sexy.

3. Pledges at the door. They’re checking names and chain smoking and trying so hard to look cool. Throw them a bone and act like you actually care if you’re on their little list.

4. Beer pong. No matter how soon you arrive, there’s a list a mile long to get on the table. And by the time your name is finally called, you’re already upstairs making out with the cute guy from your stats class. Or you’re home, changing out of your jungle-juice-stained dress.

5. The best playlist ever. If there’s something we can give frat boys credit for, it’s music. Someone will have the best mash-up mix that you’ve never heard before (“OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!!”)…and sometimes, if you’re lucky, even a live DJ. And a smoke machine.

6. Black lights. Don’t wear a white bra, okay?

7. A homemade bar stocked with the finest of bottom shelf liquor. Don’t scrounge around for a clean Solo cup, because they’re aren’t any. And the Mohawk Vodka doesn’t deserve a clean cup, anyway. Just rip that shot straight from the bottle and chase it with a swig of Natty Light, frat boys’ beer of choice.

8. Drunk Freshmen. The frat boy’s biggest fear is a sausage fest, which is why any good bro will text everyone in his contact list, including the random girls who get sloppy after one drink. Maneuvering through these herds can be tricky…so watch your shoes and don’t be scared to walk with your elbows out.

9. A bathroom with no toilet paper and lots of people waiting. Jungle juice (see above) seems to break the seal like no other. Enter the drunk girl bathroom move: expect to share a stall with 3 other girls you’ve never met. You have approximately 5 minutes to bond over each others’ cute shirts and crushes at the party before someone comes knocking on the door to kick you out.

Mix it all together, add a little drunk texting and the occasional drunken sob fest on the lawn and you have yourself a college frat party. Now wipe the sweat out of your cleavage and get in there and dance!

Love/hate relationships aren’t just reserved for you and that hot-but-arrogant dude in your study group.  It’s a sometimes-sad truth that frenemies can be found anywhere: on the latest episode of Gossip Girl, at home when your sister borrows your favorite dress and rips it, in Starbucks when the longest line in history stands between you and your morning caffeine fix…heck, even on campus you’re often left feeling a bit bipolar.

If you think I’m exaggerating, you’re probably still enjoying the honeymoon phase of your friendship with the dorm’s biggest partier or that amazing professor who teaches the most boring subject matter.  Take a look at these top offenders and see where you weigh in…

I despise Halloween. No, scratch that. I love actual Halloween. I can spend the entire day watching Hocus Pocus on repeat and gnawing on candy corn pumpkins. I loved trick or treating as a kid way-too-old-high-school-senior.  I have great memories of putting together awesome, homemade, creative costumes. And by “putting together” I am obviously referring to watching my mom slave over a sewing machine while I shouted instructions and corrections and the occasional constructive criticism: “You call this a magician’s cape, THIS tarp of a fabric!?!?!”

But that all ended freshman year of college when Halloween went from a fun night out in a costume to a slutfest in a frat house. I was appalled by the slutty bumblebees, the slutty orangutans, the slutty crayon girls. What was going on?! Why was no one even trying to be clever, smart, witty, or even scary? I’m totally cool with a horrifying witch. I’m not cool with a horrifyingly disturbing portrayal of a witch doing a strip tease wearing nothing but a hat and a carefully placed broom.  And not only was I surrounded by sexy-everything, but I was smushed into a frat party, unable to get to the bar, unable to move, and unable to give the sexy fairy in front of me a proper elbow jab for shoving her 9-foot wings into my FACE. Everyone in the entire university was out for Halloween…and it seemed all shoved into the same three sweaty frat parties. Like really, kid-who-never-showers-and-is-always-studying-in-the-lounge – YOU’RE OUT!?!?

And for the next two years it went like that. I would put a considerable amount of time and effort trying to come up with clever costume, only to confuse everyone else who couldn’t figure out what witty statement I was trying to make. By junior year I thought I had it down pat. I went as “Sexy Overload” and wore half a sexy devil costume, half a sexy angel costume, half a sexy bunny costume, and half a sexy costume. I was making a statement. Get it? It’s all sooooo stupid.

No one got it. Everyone was like “oooo sexy devil cat. loves it! get in the photo gurl!”

Senior year I was like f it. I’ll show them how unsexy I can be. I’ll be a dining hall worker. Just a regular dining hall worker. This one backfired immediately. My costume was too good. Everyone moved away from me in the party (finally a little bit of space) and was like “umm can you change before you come back?”

And all I could think when this girl asked me to leave the party was look at yourself, look at what you’re wearing, how did you walk past a mirror and say wow “I’m a very slutty Cabbage Patch Doll and I like it!” Think about your life choices. Think about the tagged photos. Take a moment and pull your life together.

So yeah, Halloween in college was a complete and total failure for me. Not only did I never have fun at the parties, but I felt like the only one who saw through the whole sham. It’s just another frat party. Except at this one, you’re being pushed out of the beer line by a girl who actually thought it was okay to buy a pre-packaged sexy dandelion costume.

This year, while everyone else stresses about going to the right parties and putting on the right amount of glitter, I’ll be home alone, curled up on the couch (surrounded by Take 5 wrappers) watching Hocus Pocus. Because nothing says Halloween more to me than Sarah Jesssica Parker singing come little children, I’ll take thee away.

So you’re going to be a freshman. Thanks to your advisor/mom/campus tour/Bed Bath and Beyond advertisements, you think you’re ready. You learned how to do laundry, you’ve purchased the Twin XL sheets, you measured your future dorm room (and cried when you realized you could touch all 4 walls from the middle of the room) and all those A.P. classes have prepared you for the workload that comes in college.

Congrats. You now know about 10% of what you need to know to survive freshman year.

The truth is, there is a lot that happens your first year of college that no advisor (and especially not your parental units) is going to know about. And that’s why we’re here – to get you from Welcome Week through final exams in one glorious piece. And to try and stop you from making the same mistakes we did. Again and again.

You wanna survive your first year of college? Avoid any and all of these freshman year faux pas:

1. 8am class.
Despite thinking that 8am really is not that early, there is no way you are actually getting up for this class once you begin to discover that there is potential to party every night of college.  Do yourself a favor and don’t even try. 99% of the time, this class will be offered at another time or another semester. If you have to re-work your entire schedule and eliminate time for lunch between classes, do it. I promise, it’s worth it.

2. Hooking up with an older frat boy…and thinking that he will automatically fall in love with you.
In reality, college boys have been waiting three years to finally be big men on campus and use this status to hit on freshman girls.  Have fun, just try not to get too attached.

3. Puking in Public.
You’re in college.  Great job! This means you have pretty much unlimited access to alcohol.  This does not mean that your tolerance has gone up since high school. While the people around you may be able to slam 10 beers in 10 minutes, it might not be the case for you. Don’t be stupid. And if you are, excuse yourself before you become “girl who puked in her hands.”

4. Skipping Class.
I get it: skipping lecture where there are 300 people and no one takes attendance is tempting. But don’t do it. Lecture notes are incredibly important to your academic success and oftentimes the professor will discuss things that are not in your assigned reading but are in your final exam. Getting to class isn’t hard, so suck it up, bring some snacks and get to it.

5. Showing up to a frat party with male friends.
The rule of frats is simple:  chicks are in, and guys are always going to have to wait.  Do yourself a favor and make your group at least a 2:1 ratio in favor of the female gender.

6. All Sweats, All The Time
Ah, sweatpants. Love ‘em. But despite the comfort they provide (especially after you #3 and you’ve got a #1), they don’t love you back. Between the drunk eating, nasty dorm food, and major beer calories, you will gain weight. And without the guide that only a non-elastic waistband can provide, you’ll never know it. Put on some jeans once in awhile.

7.  Overdressing in theme.
Theme parties are great, but remember that as a freshman, you will likely be party hopping (especially if you mess up on #4 and can’t get in to the party you dressed for).  Don’t go all out for a “CEO and Corporate Hoes” party unless you plan to stay there all night.  Otherwise you may end up wearing a bra and a pencil skirt at an ’80s party, and that’s just not cool.

8. Spending all of your time video chatting.
While your home friends are great, so are the people at college!  Branch out, and learn to put away your Skype for some real person time so that you actually make new friends.  While a little bit of homesickness is normal, a relationship with your computer is not.

9. Winging an Exam.
If you did fine in high school not studying, good job.  That’s not how it works here.  Even those of us who do study can’t always make the grades, so don’t hurt yourself before you even take the exam. This is what you’re here for, after all.

10. Drunk Dialing Your Parents
It’s funny at the moment, but no one’s laughing the next morning when your mom calls at 9am and gives you “the talk.”

Question:
So I know that the year is nearly over but I thought I’d send this question anyway. I’m a sophomore and I had an awesome freshman year. I met a bunch of people, I had friends on my hall and it seemed like there was always something to do. And now it’s just not the same. My friends are spread all over campus, my classes are harder and it feels like I’m stuck in the middle: I’m too old to go to frat parties but I’m clearly not old enough to go to the bar. This year just isn’t fun. Is this just me? Do you guys know how to fix this?

GPA Girl:
I believe this is commonly known as the “sophomore slump,” girl. And I don’t want to judge, but it sounds as if your sophomore year isn’t turning out to be so great because you are determined to believe that it’s not as good as last year. I think you need to stop comparing and start considering things differently. The trick is to focus on what’s good and, if possible, to manufacture your own fun. 

Throw a party in your dorm or reserve a lounge to gather all your friends together. You could easily do this once a week, even if it’s just meeting for coffee or studying in a group at the library. If you want to see your friends more, there’s no one stopping you. You also said your classes are harder this year. Well, I know this is a pretty typical “GPA Girl” thing to say, but… didn’t you come to college to learn? If your classes are easy for you, you’re probably not learning much. If you can’t seem to understand anything, though, just drop by your profs’ office hours. People want to help you! Finally, remember that not every party on campus is a frat party, and you don’t have to hit up the bar to have a great time–throw your own party, or find an under-21 hang-out spot that you and your friends love. You really do have to take matters into your own hands. If things are tough for you right now, make them easier! No one is going to do it for you.

Busy Bee:
Sometimes, we have to face the fact that not all things can be as great as they once were. I’m not surprised your freshman year was more fun – it should be, given the fact that it was your first year in college. Many people often feel this way their sophomore year. I’m not sure if there’s a real quick fix, except to just tough it out. There’s only a few more months left in the semester, and the best you can do is to just keep at it until summer arrives. Instead of focusing on your social life, why not try excelling in your tough classes or working on some of your personal goals? School is not always fun, but it’s what you make of it. Also, if you barely see your friends anymore, maybe they’re not really your friends (no offense!). Try making some new ones or joining a club – the bond you create from a shared interest usually creates longer lasting friendships. I say, just try to get through this semester the best you can. As for your partying dilemma, I’ll leave it to our Party Girl!

Party Girl:
Whoa, whoa, whoa – did you just say “too old to go to frat parties”??? Honey, if you’re still going to college, you’re never too old to go to frat parties. Frats are there to serve the needs of the university population who are still too young to go to the bar. I think you’ve hit the “sophomore slump.” I had a similar experience during my sophomore year. Then I realized that my friends were closer than I thought and a house party gets you just as drunk as the bar (possibly even more drunk…it’s so cheap!). Your campus can’t be so large that a simple 20 minute walk wouldn’t get you to a friend’s place. You have so many options! When you finally turn 21, you’ll look at your bank account and start fondly remembering the days of house parties when a cup was $5 and you were encouraged to do keg stands. Seriously – cherish this time. House parties, frat parties, sneaking flasks into the movie theater – all of these are cheap, accessible options to drink underage with your buddies. Grab a friend and take your pick!

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Everyone needs a little guidance now and then (or always) so we’ve pulled together a variety of perspectives (the does-it-all girl, the party girl and Ms. Study Lounge) to weigh in on your life conundrums and give you the best advice we can.

Every week they’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers to keggers before classes, they’ll do their best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Not sure about class scheduling? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I started going out with a guy right before I left for college. I really like him, but he goes to school in a different state and I feel like I’m missing out on a lot with my friends when I’m on the phone with him every night. He totally trusts me so it’s not like he’s annoying or anything, but this whole LDR thing is really taking up a lot of time. What do you guys think of long distance in college? Good idea or bad?

GPA Girl:
LDRs suck no matter how you slice it or where you’re at in life. If you really love someone, it’s awful to be far away from him or her. However, it’s sometimes worth it, especially if there’s an end in sight. I suspect this question is not really about long distance in college but about your relationship in particular. What I’m reading in between the lines is that you’re not head over heels for this guy and you kind of feel as if he’s limiting your options, whether those options be hanging with your friends or smooching other dudes. Is that true? Be honest with yourself. If so, I’d cut your losses and move on. If that’s not the case, you’ll know it and the idea of breaking up with this guy will seem ludicrous to you. Trust me–I’m in an LDR right now, and the guy I’m with is so amazing that I wouldn’t blink at dating him long-distance for years if I had to because it’s more than worth it just to have him in my life. Which situation is your relationship? You make the call.

Party Girl:
First of all, you shouldn’t have to miss out on any time with your girls just because of an LDR! Change your phone calls to morning or afternoon and maybe just go every other day. Night time is for friends and partying (and sometimes studying…but mostly drinking). If you feel burdened by this guy, just let him go. Maybe after college you guys can pick it up again, but now is the time to have fun! If you can’t see yourself breaking it off, then make the phone calls convenient for you and always make time for your friends. Some of the biggest benefits of long distance relationships is that you don’t have to worry about your boyfriend seeing you come home all sloppy from a frat party (unless someone posts Facebook pics…) and you can have girl time whenever you want it. If this LDR is impeding on those things, it’s time to switch things up. In the end, it’s your decision whether you stay with this guy or not, but this relationship should be making you happy, not stressed.

Busy Bee:
Unless you think that there is really good chance that you two will last for a while, then this LDR is a no go. I strongly believe that college is all about the experience – guys are just an accessory to it. You say that the LDR is taking up a lot of time, and that’s time out of your job, friends, late night fun, and crazy memories. You don’t want to look back on this year wishing you had ditched the phone for random dorm adventures, do you? I say, don’t cut him off completely, but keep it light and just as friends. If you guys still have a strong chemistry throughout the year, then try it out again in the summer. For now, I think you should focus on school, enjoying all the things your school has to offer (student groups, field trips, IM sports….), and, most importantly, what you can and experience see in front of you.

What do you all think?

In college, tradition is everything and there is no tradition more important, more long-lasting and more talked about than hooking up with the college freshman.

I can’t tell you how many times I watched my friends drool over the freshman girls walking in and out of the dorms. They plotted, they schemed and they visited frat parties in an effort to woo the ladies girls back to their filthy apartments.

But, why?!

What is it about this group of girls that is so appealing? And why, with so many awesome ladies already roaming around campus, do guys feel the need to “hit that sh*t”?

Let’s find out:

He Said:

It’s the beginning of the new school year, and you know what that means—hot freshman tail to chase! At least that’s what us upperclassmen guys think of when we start the new semester.

With droves of 18-year-old hotties filling in the ranks, hooking up with as many of them as possible becomes a matter of intense interest for returning dudes. But why freshmen?

First, because they’re new to the scene, they don’t know if you’re a loser or not. They’ve just come from who knows where, fresh into the world of “adulthood” (if you count being in college as adulthood), and you can tell them pretty much anything (within reason) without them knowing any better.

Second, because chicks often prefer to date older dudes, your position as an upperclassman automatically gives you the illusion of being wiser–or at least more experienced, which translates into attractiveness. You already know where to find your classes, where the best bars are in town, which parties are must-go-to’s, etc… so taking a freshman chick under your wing is as simple as shotgunning a beer. Or at least it’s easier than trying to convince someone who already knows you that you’re worth their while.

Lastly, it’s a matter of male pride. Despite what the reality is, freshmen seem strangely young an innocent when they first arrive, untainted by the harsh realities of the “real world”–or at least the party scene. So all guys want to scoop up the newly arrived babes before all their dirty, rotten classmates get to them first and ruin all the fun. Remember, it’s only a matter of time before these nubile newbies have a reputation too.

She Said:

When I was a freshman I believed anything and everything people told me and I would do anything to get into the coolest frat party in town (which were never really that cool anyway). Knowing that, I can totally see why guys are always flocking to the freshmen. It is easy prey.

But that doesn’t negate the fact that it is totally scummy and disgusting. How guys can sit on their raunchy futons and celebrate the naivety of the freshman (and their desire to bone one) and take pride in it is beyond me. Also, how they can even touch the futon blows my mind.

Think about it: the only difference between a freshman and anyone else on campus is the fact that they are new, “pure,” and young. When a guy goes after one, then, he is not doing it because he thinks she is cute or smart or wonderful; he thinks she is young, naïve and will take off her pants without a problem.Very mature, boys.

It is not that I am opposed to hooking up with a freshman – some of them are pretty effing hot and I always thought it would be fun to head back to the dorms for a little twin-extra-long action (you know, for old times’ sake) – but I am against hooking up with a freshman simply because they are one. Well, that the fact that I prefer older men…who know what they are doing below the belt.

Freshmen are nothing more to me than the new kids on campus who are walking around in packs, puking from their inability to handle their alcohol and stealing all the older guys on campus.

And don’t forget about your face.

Those dark circles under your eyes. The wrinkles from all that smoking (first or secondhand!).

Ugh. Partying is not a pretty thing. But what are you supposed to do….stop? Ha! You are no quitter, sister. What is the point of having a pretty face if you can’t take it out on the town? On the other hand, though, if your face is heading downhill now imagine what it is gonna look like in 20 years!

What to do, what to do….

How about Botox? This needle full of poison isn’t just for old ladies from Orange County anymore! Now you can have it too! It is all the rage in Ibiza (where partying/sun bathing is the key to life) where women are pumping their faces full of the stuff to ward off the evils from partying.

“When I tell people I’m 25, they never believe me. It’s amazing considering the kind of lifestyle I lead. It’s non-stop partying from the moment I get off the plane, and I usually come to Ibiza at least twice a year. This means a fortnight of drinking a lot and getting hardly any sleep.”

Now that is some serious dedication. I applaud you, women. Don’t let anything get in the way of your dreams!

Who wants to wait in those long lines freezing to death in a mini skirt and tube top in the middle of winter? Who wants to be packed into a small room with sweaty men groping your ass at every turn?

Who wants to listen to that awful rap music boasting illegitimate children and millions of dollars worth of bling blaring from oversized speakers?

Not me…or so I thought.

Look at me now: freezing to death in a pair of jeans and a button down, waiting in line to get into a crowded room where older and sleazier men are trying to pinch my butt while grinding to awful rap music blaring from oversized speakers.

What’s the difference?

I am now paying for all of these lovely amenities.

Why is it ok to take part in these activities at a bar and not at a frat party? What is the difference, really? And, think about it, which one really is better? Let the battle begin:

Frat

No Toilet Paper- some women have been forced to drip dry or–gasp!–use items such as leaves and notebook paper while taking care of business.

Bar

Usually have toilet paper, but not always a working toilet. Some squatters have even been known to brush up against pre-used TP piled high in clogged bowls.

Frat

Beds nearby. This is a lovely perk of fraternity houses, making it easy for their members (and guests) to get a lil somethin’ somethin’ and still make it back to the party for a little more beer.

Bar

Beds a few blocks away, but corners and alleys also do the trick. One perk of the necessary walk is the chance to sober up before heading to bed. There is nothing worse than having the spins while getting it on.

Frat

Shady guys looking for one night stands.

Bar

Old men looking for one night stands.

Frat

Theme parties. There is nothing better than a Tennis Pros and Golf Hos party, or any reason to dress super slutty for that matter. Frats always know how to keep things exciting.

Bar

The only things spicing up the evening at a bar is the drink special of the evening. And I have learned – the hard way – that no matter how sad, it is never acceptable to sport a toga/ naughty school girl outfit to the bar.

Frat

Free (but gross) Beer!

Bar

Not free (but semi quality) alcohol.

So those are the facts. Which is better? That is up to you to decide. As for me, I am out of college so no matter how much I enjoy some Milwaukee’s Best (and nearby beds), I think my frat partying days are over.