So that time of year is creeping up on us. The time when we must throw some clothes into duffel, fill the rest of the bag with dirty laundry, kiss our roommate and our bottle of vodka goodbye, and head home for fall break.

Yes, there are many up-sides to this little trip: we get a break from all the homework, we get to eat something other then cafeteria mystery meat for a change, and we get to curl up with Scruffy on the couch for a couple of days.

But with the comfort of being home comes a few downers as well. And I’m not talking about being woken up at 9am on a Saturday or having to empty the dishwasher. It’s those little comments from mom and dad that really get under your skin. And no matter how hard you try to be nice, you just can’t help but snap, say something mean and beeline to the car/airport (clean clothes and leftovers in hand, obvi) as soon as humanly possible.

Here are a few of the worst offenders:

“Honey, your pants look a little tight”
Yes mom, I realize that drinking 5 days out of the week and eating delivery pizza has done a number on my waistline. Am I happy about it? No. Do I know it is there? Yes. Is it helping that you pinch the muffin top and poke the underarm flab? Absolutely not!

“Have you found a nice boy yet?”
If by “nice” you mean “a tall pre-med student who considers hanging out in the library fun,” then no, dad, I have not found your ideal son-in-law quite yet. But I have hooked up with a couple of the guys on the football team who can barely form coherent sentences but have 8-pack stomachs you can bounce a quarter off of, if that counts for anything. Read More »

"She's gonna get fat."

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming): the myth.

Alright guys, I’m gonna level with you: I’m a big fan of the brewskies. I like Sam Adams Pumpkin Ale, Sweetwater 420, the occasional stein of Newcastle, and the slightly more frequent funnel full of Bud Light. I particularly like that I can drink copious amounts of beer without the consequences that would come from drinking the same amount of vodka, water & lime. Most of all, I like that beer lends itself easily to day-drinking.

What I don’t like about beer (besides how much it makes me want to sing drinking songs) is that it makes me fat.

It’s not even the eventual, slowly-creeping-towards-your-thighs fat. It’s like an immediate, “I’m so carbonated and delicious and I’m going to make you so full you can’t suck in anymore” variety of fat. So it’s no wonder that beer contributes majorly to the Freshman 15, right? Ehh, yes and no. Read More »

College is full of trial and error. And sadly we find ourselves running into a lot more error than we desire. Being stood up by that guy who we thought was really into us rings a bell. As does spending an entire night and next morning (okay and maybe the afternoon too) puking our guts out.

Eventually, we get a hang of things, but it would’ve been really nice to have some basic knowledge under our belts before we started. And since we are so caring, and so pissed off that no one did it for us, we’ve decided to let the next generation of college girls in on some scared knowledge that will save them a lot of trouble, and in some cases embarrassment, come freshman year and beyond. Read More »

"And that, my little freshmen, is why that boy didn't call you back."

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, it’s own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Enter…me! Every week I’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers, I’ll do my best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom.

1. How do I avoid that sneaky Freshman 15?
The most obvious answer is don’t drink. Drinking adds those extra calories that you didn’t have in high school, not to mention the drunk munchies. Who hasn’t gone to bed at 4 AM on a Thursday spooning a box of Lucky Charms? Leaving behind sports teams in high school and replacing field hockey practice with marathon drinking is a surefire way to pack on the pounds. Weekday drinking is probably the number one contributor to the Freshie 15, in addition the dining hall, the University equivalent of an all you can eat buffet in Vegas. Think about it. Not ready to give up drinking on Tuesdays or the tater tots at the dining hall? Utilize that gym on campus, join an intramural team and try to stay on a good sleeping schedule.

2. That guy that I hooked up with drunkenly at a party isn’t calling me?! What gives?
Pick and choose your reason(s):
- You were so blacked out you had a penis drawn on your face while you were making out with him. In front of all his friends. First impressions last.
- He has a girlfriend
- It’s a little awksauce calling someone after a sloppy hook up
- He doesn’t remember hooking up with you Read More »

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming): the myth.

Ah, the Freshman 15. This popular legend has spawned books on prevention, magazine articles in every Back-to-School issue of any teen magazine, and whispered reminders to your BFF as she’s eyeing that 3^rd helping of French toast in the dining hall.

But does this phenomenon really exist? We’ve all gone home for Thanksgiving Break and seen that one friend who unfortunately succumbed to the Freshman 15; but what about your ex who still looks exactly the same (dammit!)? And the girl who got seriously in- shape? (I know paying for my own food was the best diet I ever went on). The Freshman 15 can’t be this metabolic death sentence we’re all doomed to once we start our higher education, right?

Right. A recent study demonstrated that over a period of 7 months, a group of 125 freshmen gained an average of 2.7 lbs.—not 15. Even more good news? Only half the students surveyed gained weight at all; 1/3^rd maintained their starting weight and 15% lost weight. Read More »

So the fall semester is rolling round again. For you freshies that means the dreaded “Freshman 15.” For the rest of us it means the shame of gaining an undisclosed amount of weight even though we are supposed to be “adjusted” and know how to stay healthy while we’re away from home.

It’s not like we don’t know what is healthy and what isn’t – we do. And we all vow that the next year will be different – that we’ll stop getting seconds at the caf and drinking 6 nights a week – but then classes start, beer pong ensues and it all goes out the window right to our asses.

To most of us calories are just confusing; who the hell knows how many calories we actually consume on a daily basis. How much work we need to do in order to burn off dollar pitcher night.  How many calories we burn walking to the library? But those things definitely need to be figure out if we want to steer clear of the not-so-attractive muffin top.

So, I thought I’d break it all down in a way everyone could understand: comparing the things we love to eat to our daily activities.

There’s always going to be that day when you have two tests to study for and an essay to write, which means zero time to cook yourself a healthy meal. But perhaps those days will be a little further in between knowing that you’ll have to wash dishes for five hours the next day to burn it off:

Two Slices of Domino’s Cheese Pizza (540 calories)= 3 hours of vacuuming (which is probably 1,214 laps around that 10X12 box of yours)

One Order of “General Tso’s Chicken” From Your Favorite Chinese Place (844 calories)= 2 hours of running on the treadmill at the gym

One Grande Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte (330 calories)= 3 hours of taking notes in class

One Plain Bagel With Cream Cheese (436 calories)= 1 ½ hours of dancing at a party

One Bowl of Ramen Noodles (296 calories)= Walking around campus for an hour

One Subway 6” Philly Cheese Steak (520 calories)= 4 hours of doing laundry Read More »

Well, its that time of year again. Time to say goodbye to friends, your tan, and most importantly, those flip flops, as summer is coming to a close.  Not sure where it went? Either are we. But it’s time to get back into the college groove nonetheless. And well, that’s exactly what this week prepared us (and got us totally excited) for.

- Nothing starts the school year off with a bang like Welcome Week. Take full advantage of this holiday because life doesn’t get much better.

- You won’t wanna be walkin around campus without at least one of these freakin’ cool gadgets

- Yes, you’re going to be so excited to see everyone again, but the repetitive reunions will get old after about 5 minutes into the first frat party.  Spare the “Ohmygods” and “Lets get lunch!”  because lets face it, you probably either don’t even want to…or you won’t remember the next day after 10 cups of jungle juice.

- Wanna get that cute guy to notice you in English class? Do some cheap back-to-school shopping here, but that doesn’t mean to load up on these. Funky is cool, but looking like someone poured ink all over you is not. And whatever you do, keep these to yourself!

- It’s a new year, so that means a new dorm, maybe new roommates and new hall-mates. But you’ll still manage to find your favorite dorm BFFsno matter where you are living.

- Enjoy the drunken late-night pizzas, and the countless warm beers, but be careful because you don’t wanna end up on MTV because of it.

- Be careful when rushing into relationships so quickly. But if you do get a first semester boyfriend, make sure to get some of these to keep him hangin’ around.

- However you decide to live your college life, you better make it one fun-filled exciting time, because it truly is the best four years of your life. And after that, its all downhilll from there. Well, hopefully not, but seriously who wants to be a boring grown up?

When we heard about the casting call for MTV’s reality show Freshman 15, we might have peed our pants a little. What could be more fun than watching freshman battle the bulge on national television (laughter, tears, and more than one beer and nacho binge guaranteed to ensue)? We are suckers for anything MTV, especially when it includes vulnerable freshies and crack-the-whip personal trainers (do I smell a Dustin Diamond meltdown coming my way?)

Yeah, so there is no doubt I’ll be on my couch with a bag of Doritos on the night of the premiere. Hey I’m going to be eating for fifteen starving freshman now! But despite my excitement, I do have one problem with this new show.

Where the hell was it three years ago? I totally could have used a show like this when I was a freshman, eating my way towards a pair of maternity pants and a premature heart attack. While I spent the summer after my freshman year eating carrot sticks and sweating my ass off on an elliptical, these kids will get free personal training and a good six months of fame out of their newly acquired bulge. Not to mention that the show is a competition, so it will most likely end with some lucky chubster being awarded a prize of some sort.

Being awarded a prize for losing your freshman 15?! All I was left with was a couple stretch marks and the need to suppress a newfound crazing for pizza at all hours of the night. I’ll tell you one thing – these are a lucky bunch of kids.

If you’re a fat college freshman, please allow me to live vicariously through you and apply asap!

The week is officially over people, and I have to say that brings a sigh of relief from my end of the computer.  I’m not sure what made this week such a doozy, but it’s over now and I can start planning my date with icy, fruity alcoholic-filled drinks (watermelon soju = best summer drink ever).   Now that I know how many delicious Mai Tai’s will kill me, I can plan my night accordingly.

August is here and with it (I’m hoping) comes some consistent summer weather.  I didn’t really plan my summer wardrobe well enough to include the necessary rain accessories for the monsoon season we’ve been having.  Therefore I’ve been staying inside a lot…and cabin fever has definitely set in.  Not only have I packed on a couple pounds from avoiding the rain-soaked jog to the gym, I’ve also started acting a bit more wild than usual.  It turns out that working out may not actually make me thinner anyway, so I guess I’m stuck inside eating Cheetos and watching Hulu.

Another effect of the incredibly rainy/wickedly hot first week of August is that my libido has gone into overdrive (I think it must be confused by all the weather changes).  That cute guy at the bar I’ve been creepin’ on all night?  I think we might end up getting engaged…for a few hours (if not purely to end my rainy-day boredom).  Then again, if we’ve been at the bar for awhile, he might need a little “pick me up”, such as a deliciously covert piece of gum. Let’s just hope we can avoid any bedroom weirdness…

Finally, because it’s August, I can look forward to going back to college.  There are so many things I’m excited about and topping the list would be my group of school friends (in addition to massive amounts of drink specials and late-night library fun).  Let the countdown to Welcome Week begin, ladies!

Ugh...

This summer is my last summer at home. While most of you can relate when I say that I’m ecstatic (believe me, I am), it may not be for the reason everyone expects. Read: living with the parents breathing down my neck.

You see, when I go home, I gain weight. Not just 3 or 4 pounds, but this summer I put on 10. freakin. pounds. Yes, I know this is my own fault, so don’t get on my case for knowing better, but I know I’m not alone. There is something about the summer that just means extra poundage. So how about we take a closer look at what goes on during the summer months so we can stop the madness?!?!

1) The campus gym is no longer 5 min away - Ok, this one hit me pretty hard. I love having a free gym at my disposal! No way am I going to pay buckets of money to use an elliptical in my hometown.

2) When it’s fifty million degrees outside, you want to stay in – I’m one of those people that no matter how far away my class is, I’d rather walk than take the campus shuttle. Well, with no class to go to, I have nowhere to walk. Also, I live in west Texas where it’s been over 100 degrees every day for the past month. Going on a walk for exercise is out of the question; I don’t want to burst into flames! Read More »