Recently Ben & Jerry’s released an ice cream flavor called “Schweddy Balls”, based off a Saturday Night Live sketch. I thought it was hilarious. Parents thought it was awful. A parent group is protesting the flavor because they think it’s vulgar. Well guess what, parent group? If you are going to prevent your kid from eating ice cream because it has a vulgar name, then your kid is totally going to go wild when they go off to college.

So here are some ice cream flavors for wild college students.

1. Walk of Shame Surprise

This flavor would be packaged in a sparkly black carton, much like the dress you walked home in this morning. The ice cream would be made with stale beer and shame. Tons of shame.

2. Exam Cram

You spent this whole week partying when you should have been studying for your chem exam. Good thing Exam Cram is made with Red Bull, 5-Hour Energy and NoDoz pills.

3. Freshman 15

This is a mixture of Big Macs, leftover pizza, beer, Chinese takeout and Ramen noodles. Eat up, size up.

4. Plan-B Brittle

So you had a little too much fun last night and forgot to ask if he had a condom. So what? All you need is a spoonful of Plan-B Brittle in the morning. Each spoonful has one Plan-B pill, and it even tastes like peanut butter!

5. Procrastination Party

This flavor would be filled with reminders that you have a full DVR and a full newsfeed since you haven’t checked your Facebook since 10 minutes ago. Studying can wait.

6. Keg Stand

This flavor is a mixture of beer and water, and it’s only good if you eat it upside down.

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How many times have you said that? Or has your roommate, or your best friend, or pretty much any female in college for that matter? I know I’m guilty of starting my “Super Healthy Diet And Exercise Regime” only to be thwarted a week later when my pants don’t feel any looser and the small shirt I bought (you know, to give me inspiration) still isn’t fitting quite right.

By the end of the week I can never figure out where I went wrong. I mean I’m putting in at least a solid hour at the gym every day (well except for Wednesdays, because they’re my long days..and Fridays…oh and the weekend because who is exercising then anyway!) And I’m eating so healthy (when I’m sober….)

But in general, it seems it is impossible to lose weight in college. Why? Well, here are the biggest offenders:

Wait, I ate WHAT?
You know those late nights, the ones where stumble into your dorm room too drunk to fully understand what you are about to do. You pick up the phone and dial the local pizza place, the one where grease drips from every slice. And you not only order a pizza, but a liter of Pepsi, fries, and bread sticks (the cheesy kind with marinara sauce on the side). And then you wake up, see the pizza box in your bed and realize that you fell off the diet wagon….again.

The gym is sooooo far away.
Plus it’s cold! And there are lines for every machine. And you walk to class, right? That’s enough of a workout for the day. And you’ll just do some crunches before bed…when you’re not drunk….and hit up those YouTube workouts….when you’re not busy. Or, you know, just never work out.

Study snacks.
The Oreos, Salt and Vinegar chips, and all of those ramen noodles stashed under your bed. They’re the foods you reach for when you’re up late finishing that paper you should have started 5 days ago. They’re also not-so-filling, meaning you mindlessly eat way more than you need and before you know it, you’ve got another 1,000 calories down the hole and no time to get to the gym.

But wait, there’s more! Click here for a few more (scientific) reasons why you can’t beat the college bulge.

Have you ever stayed up all night studying for a final? Blood shot eyes, empty coffee cups, pages and pages of notes…you know, the works. Do you remember sitting there wishing you had diligently studied all semester long, gone to class or stayed awake during the Powerpoint presentation?

Yeah, me too.
Every. damn. semester.

Well, I’m here to let you know that just like studying, the same goes for good health and fitness. We can’t expect to do crash diets or spend 3 hours at the gym on one day to achieve our goal body. There’s no way that’s healthy or realistic. Just like school, it takes a little effort every single day in order to see maximum results. And with Spring Break and summer just a few months away, if you want to feel beach body confident by semester’s end you have to start now.

The secret to having the body you want is actually pretty simple. If you know and understand these three key factors in exercising, you’re off to a very good start.

1. Cardiovascular exercise burns off the layer of fat covering your six pack. You gotta get that heart a-pumping and that sweat a-drippin’ if you want to see some real results! The professionals recommend at least 20-30 minutes of cardio, 3-5 times a week. No, that does not include walking to your kitchen and back. Jump roping there? Okay, now we’re talking.

2. Incorporate strength training or weight bearing exercises into your fitness routine. Sure your abs are hidden somewhere in there, but in order to get them peeking through you have to work on strengthening them. Crunches or sit-ups are a great start! As you get more advanced in your routine, try incorporating full body planks or moves that create muscle confusion, like these challenging (and rewarding!) ab blasters.

3. Muscle burns more calories than fat! This is why #2 is muy importante. Muscles take more energy to function, therefore burning more calories even when you’re not doing anything. If you can build up lean muscle mass, then you are guaranteed to get more from your cardio workouts.

Of course there are more things to ensure a proper fitness routine, but if you want to get started in the right direction, these are the three things you must understand. Combined with a healthy diet, you are on the fast track to your dream body.

I know there are times when you’re going to feel like bingeing (these super cheesy, extra oily fries aren’t THAT bad at 2am, right?) or skipping the gym for a day (or week), but keep in mind how hard you’re working and why you’re doing this. Keep enjoying your life, but vow to make some healthier choices. Whether it be taking the stairs instead of the elevator or banning yourself from the kitchen after 10pm, simply making one change every day gets you closer and closer to your goal.

– Wanna get started? Check out some of my workouts here. I’ll be back next week with more! Tweet me your requests @jackelynho!

I agree that it is not always easy to find an hour in the day to get a full workout in, especially with a brand new semester and all the work that comes with it giving you the stink eye.

That is why you need to work out more efficiently.

There are certain exercises and combinations of exercises that burn calories faster than others. If you only have 30 minutes to work out, walking on a treadmill is probably not the best way to burn off that box of cookies from last night (though it is better than skipping the gym altogether…)

So, which exercises are the quickest calorie burners and the fastest routes to a healthy and fit body?

1. Running

2. Rowing

3. Swimming

Not only do these three exercises burn the most calories in 30 minutes (avg. 300 for a 145 pound person), but they also build muscle and tone your entire body. Walking, biking and even using the elliptical trainer will not work your body as hard or as well, because those exercises target your lower body and leave your upper body hanging out and doin’ nothing.

If you don’t even have 30 minutes in your action-packed schedule to get to the gym, try jumping rope. You probably haven’t picked up a jump rope since playing Double Dutch in 2nd grade, but 10 minutes of jumping rope can burn up to 200 calories! Picking up the jump rope for a few 10-minute sessions throughout the day (between classes, right when you wake up, etc…) is a super easy way to burn calories quickly.

It is really easy to find excuses not to work out, but try and squeeze these exercises into your day. You’ll feel better, look better, and give yourself a much needed break from catching up on all the reading you’re somehow already behind on even though it’s only the first day of class. (Seriously, WTF is up with that?!)

Somehow you ended up with four 9am classes this semester. WTF? You can barely get up for your kickboxing class at noon on Fridays, and someone expects you to make it to class (ready to learn!?) by 8:50am the rest of the week?

Oh hell no.

You hope your professor doesn’t expect you to look presentable. Hell, he should just be happy you left yourself enough time to brush your teeth. Your morning routine is always the same: you roll out of bed at 8:30, grab the first pair of sweats you can find on the floor, throw your hair into a ponytail and run out of the house. You pop into the campus coffee shop en route to lecture and grab a coffee (“Giant, please!”) and something to munch on (“Give me the butteriest bagel you’ve got back there”).

What? It’s early and you need comfort.

You slide into your seat just as the Power Point appears on the wall in front of you. If it weren’t for the food, you’d probably fall right back to sleep – you’re just so comfortable. When class is over, you go to your next class, or to the library, or home for a nap. Whichever you choose, you sport the sweats for the rest of the day: through the classes, the breaks, the meals…

You spend so much time in your sweatpants during the week, in fact, that when the weekend comes and it is time to wear something that doesn’t say “Pink” across the ass you have trouble getting into them. No, not motivating yourself to get dressed; actually getting into them. After the first few weeks of classes your clothes feel a bit snug but you can still make em work (“I must have shrunk these a bit in the dryer….”). As the semester wears on, however, putting on your going-out-jeans has become a sweaty workout.

When the pants stop moving at your thighs, you begin to pull harder. You grab the belt loops and yank, squeezing your thighs, butt and belly into the denim sausage casing. Then you jump around a bit. Then you lay on the bed and see if that helps. If you finally do get those suckers closed, you start lunging around your room, doing squats, and sitting down to see if the denim gives a little bit.

It does not, but you’ve already tried on every other pair in your closet and these fit the best. You decide they will have to do. You throw on a loose shirt on top (to camoflauge the muffin top), throw back a few more drinks and head out.

Your legs and feet begin to fall asleep at some point in the night due to decreased circulation. You have trouble bending your knees to get up the stairs to exit the bar. Your jeans nearly tear as you sit in the cab. When you finally get home and peel those things off  – and notice the deep red line across your belly – you know you’ve got to do something.

It is then that you vow never to wear sweats to class again; those elastic waistbands are far more forgiving of the donuts, the bagels and the sugary Fraps you fill yourself with on a daily basis. (Note: when sober you also realize that cutting those things out of your diet may be a good idea, too.)

We know how you feel. We’ve all had the sweat pant weight gain before. Just get up for that kickboxing class and you’ll be OK.

Welcome back to school! Whether you’re just settling in to your dorm or high-five-ing your way through the halls of your sorority house, a new school year is a ripe time for new resolutions.

Looking to shed some pounds, or perhaps ward off the Freshman 15? Don’t worry – you can still indulge in college favorites if you swap some grease and extra calories for the healthy alternatives found here.

This Week’s Recipe: Low-Cal Spaghetti

The star:  Spaghetti Squash

Pasta isn’t necessarily unhealthy if you make it with whole-wheat ingredients and minimally processed sauce. The key to a balanced diet is to eat everything in moderation, but if your weakness is a big bowl of home-cooked penne, you can whip up this college-friendly (can you say, microwaveable?) alternative to swap out excess carbs for vegetables. Spaghetti squash is in season from early fall through winter, and just four ounces yields 37 calories. When picking one out, go for the unblemished squashes (which are high in fiber and vitamin C!) that have a density and substantial weight for their size.

The Ingredients:

One spaghetti squash, halved with seeds removed
Two cups marinara sauce
Parmesan cheese, to taste
Two tablespoons fat-free ricotta cheese
1/4 cup water

Instructions:

1. Place the halves of squash in a large bowl with water and cover with plastic wrap. Microwave on high for ten minutes, then let stand for five.

2. Unwrap the squash and comb through the insides with a fork–you’ll get spaghetti-like strands. Place in two bowls.

3. Microwave the marinara sauce in a small bowl, covered with plastic wrap, on high for 2 mins and 30 seconds. Pour over the squash.

4. Garnish with ricotta and Parmesan cheese. Serves two…. or one person now and late night later.

This post provided by college nutritionist, author, and all around excellent source of healthful info, Melanie Jatsek.

It’s the start of the new school year.  For some of you this will be your first time away from home and you may be feeling a little nervous about meeting your new roommate and dorm life in general.  For others it’s like coming home again, only this time you are moving into your own apartment.

Let’s face it, there are many things in college you can’t control, but what you eat isn’t one of them!  Because certain foods improve your focus and brain health (while others destroy it), your food choices will have an impact on your grades.  What about the so called “Freshman Fifteen”?  You don’t have to fall victim to it or poor eating habits if you play it smart from day one.  In fact, your eating habits can actually improve in college (yes, I did just say that)!

Eating healthy doesn’t have to be hard if you keep it simple.  All you really have to do is remember the 5 basics and build your meals and snacks around them:  fruits, vegetables, grains, dairy products and meats/meat substitutes.  Whether you are a first year college student and only have a tiny dorm room refrigerator (and an even tinier cupboard to store your food) or you are a returning student living in an apartment with a kitchen, here are the 13 foods you must stock up on to stay on track:

Fruits:

Apples
Unsweetened applesauce
Dried fruit (plums, apricots, raisins, mangos)

Sure fresh and frozen fruits are always best, but if you don’t have the means to go grocery shopping on a regular basis, you need to be prepared and have shelf stable fruits on hand to snack on.  If you are a freshman, chances are you will be eating most of your meals in a dining hall anyways, so it should be pretty easy to find fresh fruit.  Just like fresh and frozen fruits, dried fruits are also rich in disease fighting antioxidants, but try to keep portion sizes in mind because they are higher in sugar and calories.  A small handful is plenty!

Snack idea:  4 dried plums with a small handful of lightly salted peanuts

Breakfast idea:  1 chopped apple mixed in a bowl of cooked oatmeal (for extra fiber, leave the skin on the apple)

Vegetables:

Baby carrots
Low sodium V8 Juice

Baby carrots are ready to eat, fiber-rich and low in calories.  If you are short on refrigerator space, individual cans of low sodium V8 Juice count as a vegetable serving too!  They come in packs of 6 4-ounce cans and don’t require refrigeration.

Snack idea:  14 baby carrots with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter for dipping

Grains:

Quaker Oatmeal
Kashi cereal bars
Triscuit crackers

The American Heart Association recommends 3 servings of whole grains every day for good health.  Quaker Oatmeal is one of the quickest and most affordable whole grains you could stock in your cupboard.  If you want to save money, forget the instant oatmeal in individual packets and go for the large 42 ounce cylinder instead.  Even though it isn’t instant oatmeal, it can still be cooked in the microwave.

Kashi cereal bars are one of the most nutritious whole grain cereal bars on the market today.  They make a perfect snack for in between classes.  My personal favorite is the “Honey Almond Flax” bar.

Trisuit crackers are considered whole grain and make a great substitute for greasy potato chips when you are in the mood for something on the salty side, but with some nutritional value.  They come in a variety of flavors too, from “Garden Herb” to “Fire-Roasted Tomato.”

Snack idea:  6 Triscuit crackers with 1 string cheese

Breakfast idea:  Oatmeal with a handful of walnuts and a touch of brown sugar

Dairy Products:

Yogurt
String cheese

Calcium is so important for your health.  I’m sure you know it is essential for strong bones and teeth, but did you also know that it can help to ease the symptoms of PMS (premenstrual syndrome)?  Really!

Just like with oatmeal, yogurt can be purchased in the larger containers to save money.  Low fat yogurt is a balanced source of protein and carbohydrates.  Be careful because they can be pretty high in sugar too, especially those with fruit on the bottom!  Low fat Greek yogurt tends to be a little pricier but is also higher in protein than traditional yogurt.

Snack idea:  8 ounces of yogurt with a small handful of lightly salted peanuts mixed in (a deliciously salty and sweet combination!)

Meats/Meat Substitutes:

Peanut butter
Nuts
Tuna fish

All three are easy to store, do not require refrigeration and are packed with nutrients.  No need to worry about the fat and calorie content of peanut butter and nuts if you keep the portion sizes small:  2 tablespoons of peanut butter, a small handful of nuts.  Studies have shown that people who eat a small portion of nuts every day have an easier time managing their weight.  Why?  Because they fill you up and curb your appetite!

If you like tuna fish, go for it!  It is loaded with omega 3 fatty acids, which are important for your brain health.  Fish really is brain food!  Choose Low Sodium Light Tuna Fish by StarKist for the best nutritional buy.  It comes in convenient, portion controlled packages of 3 3-ounce containers.

Snack idea:  6 Triscuit crackers topped with 3 ounces of tuna fish

Well there you have it – 13 cheap, quick and nutritious foods to have on hand at the start of the 2010 school year.  Don’t wait until the pounds start packing on; be proactive and start building healthy habits now!  Remember, you have 100% control over what you eat.  Choose a balance of nutrient-rich foods everyday to stay healthy, fit and focused this year.  You can do it!

Melanie Jatsek is a speaker, author and registered dietitian who teaches college students how to eat to look better, feel better, think better and stress less!  Send her an email at melanie@melaniejatsek.com or connect with her on her new Facebook page for college students: “The Healthy Campus Project”

It doesn’t mean that some things aren’t better faked.

Sometimes you just don’t have the time to read the New York Times every morning, or take up sailing to impress the hot preppy guy in your economics class, or even make sure your life isn’t a complete disaster. In this case, sometimes a girl just has to fake it. Hey, you think I actually have time to read the whole Economist every week to fit in with my superstar Ivy peers? Hells no.

How to Fake Knowing About Current Events:

1. Pick up the Economist from the library, read the first 5 pages where they summarize all the major events that happened in the past week in bullet points.

2. Skim the world section of the Times every morning, usually you can pick up the main points in 10 minutes- things in Iraq continue to go to hell, terrorism lives on, etc.

3. Every Sunday the Times summarizes all the major news stories of the previous week. Plus all the stories rock.

How to Fake Sexual Skill

1. You don’t really have to; most guys are thrilled to have you naked at all.

2. Reverse cowgirl. It’s so easy, but so effective. It’s like girl on top, only you face backwards. Guys love this move, especially if you’re wearing cute underwear.

3. A little moaning always fixes everything. No seriously, it does. Bonus points for a hair toss now and then.

How to Fake Being Preppy (in case your boyfriend invites you home … in CT)

1. Put on cable knit sweater, add pearl earrings, throw on some Sperry’s. Bonus points for sporting pink and green.

2. Apply pink blush to the apples of your cheeks so it looks like you just got back from brisk row.

3. Throw a copy of “The Official Preppy Handbook” in your monogrammed L.L. Bean tote (you know – in case you need to sneak off to the bathroom for a reference).

How to Disguise the Freshman 15:

1. I can’t stress this enough; A black turtleneck. It makes your chest look huge and your waist tiny.

2. Dark denim jeans, knee length skirts, empire waists, black leggings. Whatever you do, avoid flats and skirts together like the plague.

3. If you don’t have time to exercise, 50-100 lunges a day will firm things up in a couple of weeks.

How to Fake Knowing About New Music:

1. Always have an obscure band to reference. Even better, have two: “Yeah, the new stuff from Arcade Fire is great, for sure, but doesn’t it sound a little like the Coke Squirrels’ second album?”

2. Memorize the names of the top bands on College Music’s Top Lists and listen to a clip from each on www.myspace.com. Throw around names liberally.

3. There is nothing like iTunes for checking up random bands without actually bothering to listen to, or pay to hear their full songs.

How to Fake Looking Good After Pulling An All-Nighter:

1. Visine and an eyelash curler for your bloodshot eyes; apricot blush for your pasty complexion; a high, tight ponytail for that sophisticated European scholar look.

2. Take off those grim sweatpants and throw on a pair of equally comfortable low slung cargo pants, tight camisole, topped off with a little cardigan. It feels like PJs but looks so damn good.

3. Lay off the coffee unless you want to kill your stomach lining; wash down a caffeine pill with a tall glass of orange juice instead. It’s a buzz with vitamins and minerals.