Ahh, to be a freshman again…

Long after the fact, I can safely say that there is no experience that can quite match being 18, fully on your own for the first time in your life, and living in a dorm surrounded by the hundreds of the horniest creatures on this green earth.

As a kid who had a pretty awful high school experience when it came to members of the opposite sex, I went into my freshman year with the attitude that I’d pretty much take on all comers. I turned down girls like a 15 year old boy would turn down an offer to look through Penthouse magazine.

Needless to say, it was a very fruitful year. Read More »

It’s mid-August. You know what that means…almost back-to-school time. When the fall starts to roll around, it causes me to reminisce of my early college years. The one particular experience that is forever implanted in my mind is my freshman year roommate.

Note: I swear that everything in this post is true. You really can’t make this stuff up.

Just four years ago, I was preparing to attend college in the big, scary state of New York after growing up in a small mid-western town.

Of course, no one that I even remotely knew or went to high school with was going to my school, and that was part of the excitement. I was going to be assigned a random roommate and had visions of us staying up all night sharing secrets, watching movies, and dishing about our latest biology class crush.

Well, little did I know, but I was moving in with the WEIRDEST person on campus. And, to make matters worse, this was before the days of Facebook, where I could have stalked her and been mentally prepared for what was to come. But, no, I had a friendly, casual phone conversation with what seemed like a sweet girl. Little did I know what was to come in the next year.

Example A: Chinese Fighting Swords. One day, I came home from class to find her unwrapping three large boxes containing something she had ordered off the internet. What were they you ask? Real, sharp, metal, will-kill-you-in-one-swipe, fighting swords. Three of them. She proceeded to then rub them against her skin and tell me how sexy the swords were. Yes, I feared for my life. Read More »