Today is Friday the 13th.

The day of bad luck and cursed lives and black cats and broken mirrors. Today is a day to fear. Today is a day to lock our doors and stay inside. Why is Friday the 13th supposed to be such an unlucky day, you ask? I think it has something to do with the superstitions surrounding the 13th and Fridays in general (guess Rebecca Black never heard about that) joining together to be the ultimate source of bad luck on Friday the 13th.  And as a result there are lots of horrors that await us.  Is it true? I doubt it. But even so, you might want to prepare yourself.

For anything.

Here are 13 unlucky situations (AKA, every college girl’s worst nightmare) you better wish you don’t find yourself in on this unlucky Friday the 13th.

1. Your hair straighter/dryer/curling breaks minutes before your big date… with only half your head done.

2. You sleep through your final exam.

3. Your hard drive crashes…before you printed out your final paper.

4. The guy you’ve been crushing on goes Facebook official with your frenemy.

5. Your train reroutes on the way to your interview.

6. You accidentally send a sext to your parents.

7. The heel of your shoe breaks as you’re walking to the bar.

8. Your favorite celebrity couple calls it quits.

9. They’re out of Red Bull at the Stop and Shop.

10. The guy who cut in front of you in line got the winning lotto ticket.

11. You pull a muscle at the gym. Between your legs.

12.You get food poisoning from the dining hall special.

13.Your professor overhears you bad mouthing him…right before it’s time to put in final grades.

Alright ladies, what would be the worse thing that could happen to you on Friday the 13th? 

We might be too old to go door-to-door and ask strangers for candy… but we’re not too old to dress up as slutty versions of our favorite childhood fairy tales characters, animals, or public service workers, are we? Besides, if we’re struggling to pay $49.99 for a “Sexy Bull Fighter” costume, dammit, we want to get the most bang for our buck!

Here are a few games and party options that you can host throughout Halloween week, just to get into the spirit of things!

Liquor Treat
This game can be the most fun, but is also the most difficult to pull off, especially if you live in a dorm with a strict RA or a No-Alcohol Policy. Similar to an “Around-the-World” party, you have to rally everyone on your floor/in your apartment building to participate. The members of each room or apartment choose a theme…and a type of liquor. When guests arrive, they go door to door and can stay to mingle in any room they like. When they ring the doorbell, they are also rewarded with a shot– hence, this is the grown-up’s version of Trick or Treat.

Scary Movie Drinking Games
Take advantage of the fact that F/X, Sci-Fi, and all of the basic cable channels will be playing Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween over and over for the whole month of October. If you are familiar with the movie, you can make up your own rules – e.g. take a shot every time the theme song plays in Halloween, or chug a beer every time you hear the “whispers” in Friday the 13th, or you can find several ready-made drinking games online to play. The good news? You’ll be so buzzed by the end that you won’t be too scared to sleep with the lights off!

Monster Mash
(Courtesy of Celebrations.com)
This is one of those counting drinking games that is so difficult to get the hang of, and so easy to get absolutely smashed by playing.

Sitting in a circle, you and your friends go around the room and count off–no small feat for college students! On numbers divisible by “3,” the player says the word “monster” instead of the number, and on numbers divisible by “5,” they say “mash” instead of the number. Whoever screws up, drinks. Once you get going, then, the game should sound something like, “1..2…monster…4….mash…monster….7…8….monster….mash.”

Boo! Zoo
Too smart to waste your night on a mere counting game? Throw in some crazy hand gestures! This is the Halloweenified version of the game “Zoo,” which you may or may not have heard of, but that needs to get into your Drinking Game vocabulary.

To play Zoo, everyone sits in a circle, again, and before you begin, go around the room and have everyone think of a word and a quick hand gesture to go along with it. For Halloween, then, a player might be “Ghost” and have a ghostlike motion, while another player is “Stab” and makes the universal signal for stabbing someone.

To begin the game, everyone must clap in a “We Will Rock You” rhythm. The starting player is predetermined, and the opening chant is as follows: “What are we playing?” “Boo Zoo!” “Why are we playing?” “Get f**ked up!”

The starting player continues the clapping, but inserts her word and gesture into it, and then inserts another players’ word and signal. Example: clap-clap-Ghost, clap-clap-Stab. Stab must be alert, and continue the clapping rhythm, following suit by shouting another players’ signal and performing their movement. The best part of this game is that whenever someone messes up, all players must partake in a group social! This one gets extremely tricky in large groups, which means more drinking for all involved!

Bobbing for Booze
I’m not going to lie, bobbing for apples was NOT my favorite fall game growing up; then again, who really wants to stick their face in some tepid water that the other kids have probably snotted and drooled in, only to come out with a freaking apple? For college purposes, why not mix things up a bit? Buy a bunch of nips from the liquor store (or have everyone bring a couple to throw into the pot), and toss them in a bin or vat of some sort that’s filled with water. Give everyone a turn to bob for nips, and then let everyone shoot their prizes! If you want to be bad, buy some nips of the nastiest liquor you can find, because you won’t be able to see what you’re bobbing for while you play.

And if you are really up for a challenge, toss the nips in a vat of jungle juice instead of water, and see where the night takes you from there!

[Get your Halloween on here.]

Everyone knows that the Halloween spirit isn’t just confined to October 31st – it’s more like an entire two-week span that culminates with a huge, costume-filled celebration. (Editor’s Note: Two weeks? I’ve been planning my costume since last November!) That being said, the best place to celebrate the earlier part of the world’s scariest holiday is… on the couch.

Major TV networks often dedicate time slots (or entire days) to Halloween-themed episodes, specials, and movies… and I love every scary second of it. True, the power players at Fox suck and deemed the World Series more important than Halloween (RUDE!), but even though the annual Simpsons Halloween extravaganza has been postponed to November, there are plenty of sweet Halloween events on TV.

Check below for some of the best Halloween celebrations that don’t require a costume (but may require an adult diaper):

Syfy Channel:
Yeah, I’d never willingly watch this channel either. Luckily, the people behind The Science Fiction channel get that they have to overcompensate for their unfortunate name by giving us what we want, which, in this case, is Halloween movies galore. They’re dedicating the entire month of October to cult favorites like Children of The Corn, Frankenstein, and Dracula. You can basically turn on this channel any time this month and find something that will make you pee your pants awesomely scary.

HGTV:
Three words: Halloween Block Party.  If you’re a home improvement junkie like me, you’re invited to watch as design pros help people turn their yards from “Eh” to “Ahh!”  Break out the black lights and dry ice October 16th and be sure to take notes!

ABC Family:
It isn’t just for reruns and corny shows about teen pregnancy! ABC Fam does an annual event called “13 Nights Of Halloween.” Any network that appreciates the glory of Hocus Pocus is fine by me; if you agree, tune in anytime between October 18th and 31st .

Cartoon Network:
Feel like embracing your inner kid?  CN is rolling out the orange and black carpet with a bunch of animated tricks and treats all month long.  Ed, Edd, and Eddy’s Boo Haw Haw, Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular, and Scary Godmother: The Revenge of Jimmy are just a few of the special episodes coming your way.

Glee:
On October 26, your favorite show and mine will be dedicating an episode to the kitschy, creepy, and fabulous Rocky Horror.  Brad, Janet, Riff Raff, Rocky, cross dressing, and singing?  Count us in!

Disney:
Admittedly, they aren’t going to be playing any gory horror movies here, but if you’re into cheesy yet entertaining pseudo-spooky tales, this is the place for you. Movies like Halloweentown and Halloween-themed specials of shows like That’s So Raven and Hannah Montana will be playing sporadically throughout the month.

Hallmark:
Need a good way to survive that post-Halloween party hangover? Hallmark will be showing marathons of classics like The Munsters and The Addams Family all day on the 31st. Grab some Gatorade and a greasy breakfast sandwich (with a side of fun-size Snickers) and snuggle up in bed for a day of total Halloween indulgence.

AMC:
The American Movie Channel is dedicating the latter part of the month to Halloween classics. Friday the 13th, anyone?  Tune in starting October 19th at 9am when they kick off with Magic.  Also, on Halloween night AMC’s going to be premiering it’s new series, The Walking Dead.  These aren’t going to be your little sister’s sparkly vampires…

Community:
If you’re a Community fan get ready for a spooky special on October 29th that critics are saying will rival last season’s paintball episode.  Could Abed be making a horror flick?  Or maybe Jeff will find that not only his cholesterol is rising, but his hair is thinning, too.  The horror!

DIY Network:
Afraid of things that go bump in the night?  Halloween Fright House Secrets Revealed could be the show for you.  Watch as the scary suddenly becomes not-so.  (“Wait, you mean that ghost is really just a fat carnie in a sheet?”)  The curtain of mystery will be lifted October 17.

The Food Network:
Chopped- Fright Bites will be cooking up some deliciously devilish Halloween treats on October 19th. Watch as the chefs incorporate freakish ingredients to create the ultimate in creepy cuisine.  Pass the eyeballs and werewolf claws, please.  Mmmmmm!

But this year I think I’m going to be optimistic; since V-day is all about love, and I love myself, I’m going to celebrate. And stuff my face with chocolate! Yum! I’ll curl up with my favorite snuggle buddy and listen to love songs, maybe do some therapeutic shopping, and re-evaluate my unfortunate attraction to bad boys and how that ties into spending V-day alone. Maybe I’ll borrow or rent one of these guys to keep me company. (Can you do that? God they are cute!)

But for those of you celebrating V-day with your special honey, make it count! Times are rough but romance doesn’t have to cost a lot. Like J-Lo said, “My love don’t cost a thing, thing, thing…” Spice up your sexy time with a little shower action, we know it can be hard in college, but it can be done. And if you are interested in cutting back on the spending and being a little eco-friendly, try these ideas. Save the world and have an amazing day with your special someone.

Single or not…Valentine’s Day is a day of love! So share it and enjoy it! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! There’s nothing quite like having the living crap scared out of you for the sake of a little fun.  And as luck would have it, today is the day to celebrate all that is creepy, crawly and down right horrifying.

For some of us serial killers, axe murderers and zombie brides make us scream out in fear; for me, it’s just about everything else. Even the idea of mesh shirts, Mr. Clean (I can’t explain it, something about his bald head and disapproving glare terrify me) and bad Botox are enough to make me cringe. The sight of one of these alone will have me under the covers until someone soothing coaxes me out with the promise of hot cocoa and a hug.

So in honor of the most horrifying holiday of all holidays, bring on the blood, the gore, and the headless corpses because I have a list of fears that are way worse. Grab something cuddly, have the hot cocoa ready and check out ten ways to be terrified this Friday the 13th.

1. Flying in planes

2. Slipping and falling due to icy weather and a bad shoe decision

3. Brain worms (did you see Grey’s last night?!?)

4. Being forced to go home after graduation due to our failing economy.

5. Chris Brown.

6. Octomom’s humongus pregnant belly.

7.  Getting caught smoking a bong.

8. Blind dates.

9. Drunken Facebook pictures.

10. Glitter eyeshadow.

Unfortunately, not the same happy ending we saw on the Hudson.

It’s an Idol party!

People wonder about Rihanna’s eye patch.

How about some special cupcakes to celebrate Friday the 13th?

10 tips for beauty on a budget.

Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant? Is she ever single?

Who will get the Olympics in 2016?

Making important changes on campus.

Bra-art for breast cancer.

If I were a bro.

Oh no. K-Fed is back in the recording studio. Maybe he should do a duet with Heidi? That has “Grammy” written all over it.

Girl selling virginity wants to help the world.

Each week I’ll be putting together a cute and affordable “going out” ensemble guide (that you can tweak to your own personal style and body type, of course) so that maybe that age-old question can be answered a little quicker than usual. And your friends aren’t waiting - for hours - for you to emerge from your room. Just consider me your own (free) personal Rachel Zoe.]

So this weekend is quite a weekend: Friday the 13th, Valentine’s Day and a lovely 3 day weekend, all rolled into one.

In the spirit of the equally loved and hated V-Day, I decided to do a Valentine’s version of Night Styler with a super vampy outfit that those of us in relationships can wow our honeys with, and those of us going out in hopes that cupid points his arrow at us, can wow potential suitors with.

If nothing else, at least this holiday is a reason to rock the red.

I am so totally in love with this adorable dress I found on a recently discovered website, fashionjunkee.com. Of course, red is the color du jour for this particular holiday, but if you’re just looking for a damn cute dress to wear out, you can find it in 5 other colors.

 What better way to sexify those legs you’ll be showin’ off, than with some ultra-high black pumps. You can find both of these at Tarjay for under $30.

As always, Forever 21 is the place to go for all the right accessories at the right price. A small clutch/handbag is the way to go with an outfit like this, and in the spirit of looooove day, why not go with a cute lil’ heart-shaped bag?

You can’t really do a necklace with the shape of this dress, so glam it up with a cute up-do, and some big earrings.

And since hearts, candy and flowers are all associated with this romantic holiday, bring along your own flower, in the form of a fun cocktail ring.

There’s no doubt if you rock this outfit, you’ll be feelin’ the love this Valentine’s Day.

Really, that sounds fun and all, but this year I just can’t stomach any more pink. That pepto bismol pink is everywhere I turn. Nausea, heartburn, indigestion? Check.

Believe me, I’m not bitter, I even enjoy romance and chick flicks from time to time, but for some reason I’m more excited about Friday the 13th than February 14th. I think it is fate that the two holidays have fallen in the same weekend because now when people ask what I am doing for the big holiday, I can say something like “drinking tequila and watching Saw IV.” (It’s not like they said which holiday!)

Some of you may be thinking that Friday the 13th isn’t a holiday, but you’re wrong! Friday the 13th is a day of horror movie marathons filled with snack foods and drinking games; it’s the day when some of the best scary movies of the year are released in theaters; and, of course, an excuse for a theme party. To kick off the big weekend of terror, I included my top 5 horror movies of all time.

5. Scream- Maybe it’s just nostalgia, but Scream will always be in my top favorites list. After all, it started the era of my favorite sleepover pastime: prank calls asking strangers, “What’s your favorite scary movie?” Classic.

4. The Ring – I don’t know what scared me more; the girl climbing out of the TV screen, the creepy images, or the music. Either way, it’s all terrifying.

3. The Shining - “All work and no fun makes Jack a dull boy.” Words to live by.

2. Friday the 13th – Add teens, a deserted summer camp and a serial killer and you got yourself endless gory fun. I still have issues going camping.

1. Psycho- One of the classics, so it obviously made my list. I couldn’t shower alone for a week after I saw this. And to this day I refuse to stay at a motel.

I know what I’ll be doing Friday night and may even extend the festivities into Saturday. Scary movies just fit my mood a little better than The Wedding Planner or any other crap they’ll be showing on TBS.

1. Horror Movie Overload

As a horror movie fanatic, this is my favorite time of the cable television year. On any given day of the week, you’ll find yourself choosing between installments of Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street. Scour the TV Guide, and you’ll probably also find lesser-known thrillers like The People Under the Stairs, or a wide selection of Steven King novel-turned-creepy-classics.

This is also the time of year for new horror flicks to hit the cinemas. I’m tempted to shell out $10 for Saw V, which hits theaters October 24. I also have to admit I’m tempted to check out The Haunting of Molly Hartley, which comes out on Halloween, and not just because of Chace Crawford.

2. The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Special

Can you believe that this year’s Simpsons Halloween Special will be number 19?!? Though we have to wait until November 2 to see ToH XIX, you can bet the other 18 episodes will be running in syndication every weeknight for the next couple of weeks. This year’s episode will supposedly feature spoofs of Transformers and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (another Halloween treat that deserves an honorable mention on this list). The opening credits are also rumored to have strong political ties, but I’d rather not spoil the surprise. If the blood and gore of horror flicks gross you out, you can still appreciate the hilarious parodies that The Simpsons bring us every year.

3. Haunted Houses and Haunted Hayrides

Any small town is bound to have an annual haunted fundraiser of sorts, where local girl scouts, boy scouts, and drama clubs volunteer to act as zombies, witches, and ghouls for your entertainment. Sure, they’re usually cheesy, and are more likely to make you chuckle rather than scream, but it’s the holiday spirit that makes it fun.

If you live near an amusement park, you can also enjoy such festivities as Bush Gardens’ Howl-O-Scream and Six Flags’ Fright Fest, which sends dozens of professional actors out in costume to try to scare the bejesus out of you while you wait in line for an adrenaline-pumping roller coaster.

4. Guys in Full-Out Jack Sparrow Costumes

If you go to a big enough Halloween party, you’re bound to find some dude that shelled out the dough for the full Jack Sparrow digs. I’m talking the hat, the wig, the jacket, the pants, the boots. True, this guy is probably a comic book geek who put too much time, money, and effort into something he can only wear one night. True, he might have just as big of a boner for Johnny Depp as I do. But the fact of the matter is, that Jack Sparrow guy is going to grab my attention, and spark some of my deep-seeded fantasies. And if I get drunk enough, I might wake up in the morning and see the real man behind the mascara.

5. Test Tube Shots

Not only are the campus bars going to be packed with costume-wearing, binge-drinking partiers, but they’re probably going to have some killer drink specials. Some popular gimmicks include shots in test tubes (which a lot of bars serve on the regular, but which are more fun to buy from a shotgirl dressed as a slutty mad scientist), fish bowls with fake body parts floating in them, and pretty much any shot that’s blood-red or slime-green (note that these shots will obviously reappear at Christmas time, but have a totally different effect). Halloween is also a great excuse to do shots of Tarantula tequila, which, in my opinion, trumps Mike and Ike and Snickers any day.

So if you want to hear about why Halloween rocks you should go somewhere else because I f*cking hate it and I’m about to make you hate it too by listing some reasons why it’s terrible and should be canceled.

Costumes: Yah, I said it. F*ck costumes. I have never trusted motherf*ckers in costumes. Why are you wearing that? People in costumes can do anything they want, and often do on Halloween, because it’s basically the official Holiday for burglary and assault.  That’s really what I want, a day where it’s impossible to spot criminals because everyone is wearing a godd*mn mask.

I don’t even like people at Disneyland and sh*t wearing costumes. Ask any nerd which day was the worst in high school and I guarantee you that Halloween is up near the top of the list. “I sure wish I knew who was beating the sh*t of out me right now, beyond ‘guy in gas mask’ and ‘guy in hockey mask!’”

Additionally, wearing costumes is probably the most uncomfortable thing ever. It’s hot and you can’t hear sh*t and you can’t run away from other people in costume without making a ridiculous shuffling noise. F*ck costumes. Unless you’re on a stage or in a movie, no costumes ever. Street performers shouldn’t be allowed to wear costumes. No one. EVER.

Candy: Yah, that is exactly what we need, an excuse to shovel more diabetes-inducing sugar into our insatiable legion of fat children. Candy on Halloween teaches people two things, how to gorge yourself, and how to beg. Why not call a spade a spade, call it ‘Insulin Day,’ and just chop everyones’ foot off right now.

TV Programming: On Halloween, every channel on the dial shows whatever scary movie they have in the vault, all night. As someone who’s imagination is more then enough to literally make me sh*t when alone in a dark room, the last thing I want is every Friday the 13^th, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street playing all at once.

Haunted Houses: I don’t really feel the need to elaborate on this. Haunted Houses, hay rides, and other various haunted locales go from boring (high school) to grotesque (every haunted house run for profit) with no middle ground to actually enjoy yourself. F*ck haunted houses.

“CLEVERNESS”: It’s in quotes and caps for a reason. That’s about as subtle as people are on Halloween. LOOK HOW FUNNY/SEXY/EDGY I AM.

People dress either in lingerie (I’M A SEXY CAT/BUNNY/CONSTRUCTION WORKER/COP/DENTIST/CHEF/PERSON WHO WORKS AT HOME DEPOT), go ‘edgy’ and do something so tasteless they know it’s gonna start a fight once everyone is drunk enough (‘dude are you seriously going as someone who’s HIV positive?’), or ‘clever’ — which usually amounts to going as a hotdog or a tampon or a giant sperm. Also, anything phallic that comes with its own retarded catchphrase. Everyone has crap ideas on Halloween. The night literally destroys creativity and feeds off tacky bullsh*t.

You’re probably wondering if I go out at all. I do. I dress as a Pokemon and throw bricks through car windshields.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.