Question?! Answer. Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Confidential to Almost Sexually Active Band Geek: WAIT. He doesn’t mind. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen later–when things work out.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have been hooking up with a long time friend recently but we have never been anything official. He acts like he likes me, takes me out, says he thinks he is falling in love with me and says how he thinks we should be together. He has quite the playboy/bad boy reputation and for a long time and I couldn’t let myself be anything more than friends with benefits, so I have denied his requests that I be his girlfriend in fear of getting hurt.

I had a change of heart about 2 weeks ago and we had a conversation where we both decided to try and make a relationship work. Nothing really changed, we just gave it a label. However last week, only a few days after we became official, he slept with my best friend. Now things are beyond awkward between said friend and I and my “boyfriend” thinks I am making a big deal about nothing.

Lesson 17: Dump Your Backup Guy

It’s midnight, the tequila is starting to sink in, your stilettos are a set of stairs away from breaking, and you’re at your favorite bar with your friends that you may or may not have used a fake ID to get it into. You’ve been listening to enough Ke$ha to already forgive yourself for the mistakes you plan to make tonight and so you stumble out of the bar and into the arms of your go-to drunken hookup. For the 47^th time.

While having a go-to hookup for the drunk version of yourself seems convenient and harmless, it can actually be detrimental to the potential relationships you wish you had instead. Even if you go out for the night on the prowl, promising yourself you’re going to be open-minded to meeting someone new, you’ll always have your backup guy in the back of your mind, preventing you from being truly open to new options.

Read More »

I’m just going to be blunt here: why do we feel the need to pretend we don’t know what we want?

I’m serious. Whether we’re looking for friends with benefits or a one night stand or – worst of all – an actual relationship, we’re terrified to openly admit it. We don’t want to be viewed as clingy or slutty or any other label that will send the guy running for the hills.

Because that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? The reason we’re so scared to say what we’re thinking? That once we do, once we admit what we’ve been praying they’ll pick up on telepathically, the guy in question is going to reject us so quickly we’ll practically see a blur as he leaves?

Not that we should want to be with a guy like that anyway. But the problem is we do want this guy – in some capacity – and we don’t want to know if the word “boyfriend” is repulsive to him. And society (and possibly some past experiences) has taught us that the words “relationship,” “boyfriend,” and “girlfriend” are instant boy repellent.

I’d been sort of seeing a friend of mine for about a month-and-a-half and before we left for winter break, I tried to be honest with him: I couldn’t deal with the crazy back-and-forth anymore, with him acting like we were in a relationship one day, then actively avoiding me the next. Or hugging and kissing me around strangers and my friends, but literally dropping my hand and stepping away when we saw one of his. I was so proud of myself for actually having the nerve to tell him all of this, and to go one step further and flat-out tell him that I wasn’t sure what he wanted, but I wanted a- Read More »

After overstaying my welcome at a friend’s New Year’s Eve party (read: falling over and taking out the lights and the music with my ass. True story), I decided to cut my losses and head home for the night. My friend with benefits was at a different NYE soiree and informed me via text that he was ready to get outta there and meet me for our own party.

I walked out into the freezing cold night and attempted to hail a cab. Unsuccessfully. So, I thanked God that I was too drunk to feel the blisters forming in my heels and started walking. Ten minutes, two cigarettes (I was realistic and opted not to make any non-smoking resolutions) later, my hands were numb, my nose was dripping and I was giving the sexy eyes to my man friend waiting outside of my apartment.

As we rode the elevator up to my place I told him about my little fall in front of a hundred people. Then he told me how he’d slipped on the ice getting out of a cab and tore his jeans. Then we started making out in the elevator and the talking stopped.

We made it back to my place, did our thing and then promptly passed out. Read More »

Hey dude,

I find myself constantly single, and I’m wondering if it’s because i’m too “forward.” I’ve been told I’m the “dateable” type and that I’m pretty, but I think sometimes I tend to rush things with guys a little bit. For example, this guy asked me on a date a week ago, and it was great! I’ve known him for a while through mutual friends, and I was really flattered he asked me. We ended up meeting up that night at the bars and I went to his friend’s house, then he spent the night at my place (no sex, though). We’ve hung out a bunch more times, and I’ve met all of his friends, but every time we have hung out we’ve been drinking and have hooked up. I know I should probably be taking it slow so he takes me seriously or whatever that nonsense is about the thrill of the chase, but girls have needs too!

We haven’t had sex, and I’m not thinking we will anytime soon, but I would still like the attention. How do I straddle this line between, frankly, being horny and still feeling special and not like a hook up? This scenario has occurred more than a few times throughout my three and a half years in college, and i’m beginning to think I don’t know how to be in a relationship or how to get to the point of starting one. Am I doing something wrong?

Thanks dude,
Horny Hook-up Read More »

Winter break = endless hours of reading for pleasure. Pure bliss.

Woo! Winter break! No class! No studying! Just TV marathons, home cooked meals and snuggle time with the family pooch.

What’s not to love? OK, so sometimes the family can be a little much, but that’s a small price to pay for the heaps of free stuff you’ll be taking back to campus with you come January.

In honor of the best 2-4 weeks of the year I asked the CollegeCandy writers what they love most about Winter Break. What’s your favorite thing? Share it in the comments section below!

Alex K – Lakehead University: I just enjoy the time off! I work at my school and my school is closed so I have almost three solid weeks off. Once I get myself out of exam mode it is BLISS!

Cristina – Michigan State University:  I absolutely love hopping in my Jeep and blasting music and singing along while driving to the mall.  It’s so much better than my iPod walking to class.

Thu – USC: Seeing all of my friends again and creating new memories.

Erica – Kent State: My favorite thing?  The fact that at my parents house I don’t have to climb five flights of stairs to get to my room.

Caitlin – University of Alabama: I love not having to think about classes for a whole month! It’s nice to give my brain a break. Read More »

As the week comes to an end, so do my finals (thank. effing. god). Hopefully those of you who aren’t done are almost there, because I am way too ready to be home and I’d venture a guess the rest of you are too. I am ready to jump into full-fledged Christmas cheer mode. And since us college girls have to get out all of our holiday cheer in a week, it’s time to go into holiday overload.

I’m talking red mini-dresses, peppermint cocktails, Mariah Carey on repeat, the works…

But until we can hop on that train/bus/airplane and hightail it home, here are a few highlights from the week to get you through and keep you sane:

- You might be bored studying, but condoms can add some fun to your life. Well, your sex life.

- Although no amount of horny or fun condoms could get these guys near our lady parts!

- Just because we should dump our high school boyfriends doesn’t mean we can’t have a little winter break friends-with-benefits thing going on, does it? Read More »

We’ve all heard it before:

“I just got out of a relationship.”

“I really like where we are, and I want to be really close with you, I just don’t want to date you because of my ex-girlfriend.”

“My ex-girlfriend and I are really close, but I swear we’re not dating. We’re just friends (who hook up when we’re home and text each other to make sure that neither one of us has found anyone significant enough to ruin what we have going for the summer).”

Welcome to every single girl’s worst nightmare. Not because we necessarily want to date this guy, but because once we hook up with him; once we learn that not only is he cute, but he is smart and makes us laugh and makes the bedroom spin; we think that we are THE ONE. We are the only person in the world who can make this guy forget about his ex-girlfriend, because we are just that special, and, more importantly, we are HERE, and she is 1,000 miles away at a different school.

You know the scenario: your friend starts hooking up with a guy who has no interest in a girlfriend. The two of you spend the entire night laughing about it and chalking it up to a one-night thing, but then something strange happens: he texts her. They hook up again. And then he texts her on a weeknight. And comes over sober. And before you know it, this friend and Mr. “I’m Just Getting Out of a Relationship” are only hooking up with each other. Read More »

Sex is kinda like a cell phone. You can live without it, but in the end, would you really want to? Like our cell phones, we all end up taking what we can get in a pinch. We may not be happy with the phone (or person) we choose, but sometimes anything can be better than nothing.

I’ve taken the liberty to analyze the various sexual shenanigans we get ourselves into, and I think I’ve come onto something. I’m starting to think that our sexual partners closely resemble that of our cellular telephone devices. Think I’m full of s**t? Well read on, nonbeliever.

The Crap Nokia aka The One Night Stand

So you’re hovering over the frat house toilet seat, trying not to get an STI or pee on yourself, and your phone slips out of your back pocket and plops into the water. Suddenly, you’re out of a cell phone and you need one, STAT. Just like getting dumped or running into your ex, I would think of this as a rather desperate situation. So what do you do? You go for the next easy thing that comes along and satisfies your basic needs. Just like your friend’s gigantic Nokia phone with Snake and an antenna, a one night stand will be there for you when you need one thing and one thing only. You may use Mr. Nokia for a night or two, but you can bet you’ll toss that puppy as soon as something better comes along. Read More »

“Come on– all the cool kids are doing it.” You probably thought you escaped peer pressure when you got your high school diploma and left all the “Queen Bees” at school behind to hold on to their prom queen crowns for eternity while you moved on to bigger and better things in college.

Sure, college isn’t a catty popularity contest like high school can be, but that doesn’t meant that peer pressure doesn’t exist. In fact, in college, there are thousands of kids on campus who are looking for an opportunity to twist your arm. It can be hard not to say “yes” to a party on a Tuesday night (when you’ve got a midterm at 8 a.m. the next day), or to something “experimental” that you’ll look back on and shudder with disdain in the years to come.

If you don’t think peer pressure exists in college, I have one word for you: RUSH. There are collegiates out there who would sell their souls to join a sorority or a fraternity, and they are willing to do some crazy shizz to get through rush. Get into the Greek scene, and you’ve automatically got a clique of a few dozen new friends. That’s reason enough for some students to go a week without changing their clothes or serve lemonade in a giant purple elephant costume (that is, if Will Ferrell’s running the frat). “Hazing” is now illegal at universities across the country, but that doesn’t mean that the peer pressure of rush week isn’t still in full effect. Some say it’s a college coming-of-age ritual. Hey, to each their own, but still: a rose is a rose is a rose. Read More »