On a particularly uneventful night my senior year, I went to the bar to grab a few drinks with some friends. We were sitting there (looking fabulous) minding our own business when a man approached. Personally, I am not a fan of thick neck hair or large ears, so I turned away and gave my cocktail some much needed attention. It seems that, in the throws of serious intoxication, one of my friends seemed to be quite taken by this man.

She chatted with him, had a few more drinks, and eventually (while running her hands through his thick, luxurious neck hair) leaned in close and whispered, “I think we are gonna go.”

After spitting Apple Martini all over the unsuspecting male perched on the bar stool beside me, I attempted to gather my thoughts. Here was one of my closest friends, someone I care deeply about, making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Sure he looks good now (though I can’t fathom what she thinks she is looking at), but what is my friend going to do in the morning when she rolls over and finds Chewbacca in bed with her? I couldn’t possibly let that happen; it could scar her for life.

So, I did what any good girlfriend would do: I told her that I had to puke and made her take me home, leaving Furry McElephantEars to fend for himself. Read More »

A few years ago, while working as a ski instructor up north at some unnamed resort, I made friends with an awesome guy.

A youth instructor like myself, we spent our days holding up languid 3-year-olds on the bunny slope and chasing screaming kindergarteners down larger hills, hoping against hope no one slammed into a tree in the process.

Being in a high stress (and FREEZING) situation supplied us with an instant bond, and we soon found ourselves skiing together during our free time and discussing our lives on chairlifts.

During out time together, it began to dawn on me that he was everything I had ever looked for in a guy: smart, funny, good with kids, active, gentle, and giving. He liked his parents, wrote music on his off time, and always waited for me whenever I fell into a giant snowdrift.

Basically, he was awesome. The only issue? I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest.

He wasn’t ugly. It didn’t hurt to look him in the face or anything; he just wasn’t my type. Nothing about him made me jittery or full of butterflies, my heart never jumped when he walked into a room, and those long chairlift rides were never awkward with anticipation.

I didn’t fantasize once about kissing him. Read More »

There is nothing better than meeting – and totally loving – your friend’s boyfriend. You may not think so consciously, but I know deep down everyone fears that they will absolutely hate the boy their best friend falls for.

Either that he will be totally ogre-ish with a unibrow or chest hair that just doesn’t end, or a total dick with pink popped collars and a bracelet. Or, even worse, just an all around asshole.

So when you finally meet the boy of your friend’s dreams and he is totally awesome, it is always cause for one big giant sigh of relief (followed by a night on the town; he probably has awesome friends too, right?).

Well, not always. Not if, like me, you find yourself not only obsessed with friend’s boyfriend, but maybe a teensy tiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit in love with him yourself. That, my friends, is just one craptastic situation. Read More »