I tend to think the best of people. Overall, I think strangers are more friendly more often than they’re not, and if you give them a smile, you’ll get one back. I tend to think that with most store employees and the lot, if you’re friendly, they’ll be friendly and helpful in return. It was only recently that I learned I might just be horribly naive.

A male friend of mine was talking about how the mailroom guy on campus was so grouchy. “He gives you this glare and doesn’t say a word even when you say hi,” he said.

I was surprised. “I’ve seen him smile and say hi.”

My friend rolled his eyes. “Well of course. You’re a girl.”

I protested, but as I interacted with him again and again I realized that the mailroom guy was just nice to girls. And it was the same with the post office workers, the cafeteria workers, and a handful of other strangers I interact with on a regular basis. Before you think I’m padding my own ego and saying I’m smoking hot, let me assure you, it wasn’t just me. People are just more likely to treat a girl politely, to smile and be more helpful.

At first I thought, What luck! Girls can finally enjoy something about being a girl! But as the overactive-feminist part of my brain worked on this new idea, I liked it less and less. Read More »

Chivalry is not dead. It’s alive and well—or, at least alive.Since moving to New York, I have come across varying degrees of gallantry. Some is well intentioned and friendly; while some has a faded, slightly sour quality. Some acts of chivalry are carried out with genuine kindness, and some are done because the guy can’t bare the thought of letting a woman exert any kind of power.

How do you know what level of chivalry you’re getting on a daily basis? Read on.

LEVEL 1: On this, the brightest and friendliest level, the guy is being polite and helpful because he wants to be. Opening a door for you, standing up so you can take his seat on the subway, giving you room to pass on the sidewalk, all of these things are done with a smile and a pleasant glance. This guy’s mama taught him well, and it’s no trouble at all for him to show women that he holds them in high esteem.

Although it’s rare, this level does indeed exist, and I recommend immediately inquiring if such a polite lad has a partner, and if finding him to be single, snatching him up as quick as possible. Read More »

Everybody thinks they totally understand slutty people. When we hear about a guy or a girl who has a knack for falling into other people’s beds, we all immediately become psychologists.

They don’t like themselves. They’re looking for acceptance, a father figure, someone to mother them. They’re afraid of love, of commitment, of being appreciated—I mean, I could go on for hours.

But what if a lot of our promiscuous peers were just…friendly?

A new study by “Patrick and Charlotte Markey of Villanova and Rutgers universities, respectively,” sheds some interesting light on personality traits verses licentious actions. It seems that people who get around are either “cold” (as in distant, bitchy, and emotionless) or “warm” (as in friendly, nice, open), with “very few people falling in between”. Read More »

After-hook-up relations are not always easy.

Seeing someone you made out or slept with a few days after the fact can be weird, uncomfortable, and even painful. It can also be awkward with a capital A.

If the experience was extremely unmemorable (or horrible…because that sometimes usually happens), we may even resort to running and hiding behind trees whenever we spy a recent bedfellow (not that I ever did that. I preferred to hide behind bushes. More coverage.).

On small college campuses, avoiding people can become difficult, and many of us probably wish at the very least that we could relate to our hook-ups the way we did before everything went down.

Well, we can!

A few years ago, after hooking-up with and subsequently getting seriously pissed off at a guy when I realized he had a girlfriend, I thought our friendship was over. But I still had to see him every day. So what was I going to do? Read More »

A lot of people think sitting front and center at a lecture is lame. Lame and nerdy. And a lot more think having scintillating discussions with the professor after class is even lamer.

But I think it’s the smartest thing you can do.

Make no mistake about it, even if you go to a small liberal arts college where kids walk around without shoes and you know the name of everyone in your class, you’re still one of hundreds. One of the hundreds of students your professor has.

Just another face, another paper, to be graded quickly before Must See TV comes on at 9:00.

But what if you want to do extra well in the class?

What if you’re like me, and really anal about your reputation, and simply can’t deal with the fact that someone might think you’re not trying? What if you’re taking that required math course, and honestly can’t remember those 5th grade times tables?

You get to know your professor.

*Be Engaged: Sitting front and center, looking awake, keeping your body language open and available helps your professor see that you’re actually taking in what they’re saying. After staring into a sea of glazed-over eyes, finding yours open and watching will set that professor’s heart aflutter.

*Answer Questions: Nobody likes know-it-alls and morons who love the sound of their own voice, but raising your hand once a class will keep you on your professor’s radar. Just make sure you have something worthwhile to say, because believe it or not, professors hate idiots just as much as you do. Read More »