I’m a senior in college, single, loving it, and have just as many girlfriends as random sexual escapades (almost). So maybe I’m not having as much consistent sex as I’d like, but I am still getting my fill of lovin.

I am absolutely in love with my girlfriends.

I feel more fulfilled from my friend relationships than I’ve ever had from boyfriends. Maybe that’s not saying too much about my ex’s, but the power of the female friendship amazes me, especially in college.

In high school, I used to be a boyfriend-girl (you know the type). Although I tried to split time between the BF and the BFFs, I definitely ended up sacrificing girl time for the boyfriend. But now, after staying single in college, I never have to make the sacrifice of feeling lonely just because I don’t have a boyfriend. I actually feel more loved, supported, and celebrated through my friends. Read More »

I remember going to college expecting to make some of the best friends of my life. It had always seemed that way — you have nice high school friends, but gradually they fade out of the picture and your college friends dominate your life. Wasn’t that the way it was supposed to be?

As I arrived at school and plunged into the rigorous academic environment that was promised in the Princeton brochure, the social scene surprised me in some way. There were the usual kinds of people I expected — the jocks, the preps, the econ majors — but not the friendships I was looking forward to.

I had dining hall buddies (people to eat and swap jokes with), and homework buddies (people to frantically share answers on problem sets with), but there was no gang of girls sharing secrets and supporting each other the way there was in high school. I compared notes with other friends and they agreed; for one reason or another, no one had as close friendships in college as they did in high school.

Why? Read More »

A girl’s gotta have her friends, right? We need someone there to cheer us up when yet another guy has stomped on our heart, when we need someone’s honest opinion on how our ass looks in those jeans, and when our hair is too short for a ponytail and someone needs to keep it out of our face when we’re puking.

We love our BFFers, but what is it about them that makes them so perfect? And how often do we really tell them?

Having graduated from college, my best friends are spread out across the country. Maybe it’s my PMS (I cried at the More To Love finale), or maybe it’s the fact that I missed my BFF’s birthday party in D.C. last weekend, but I’ve been feeling a lot of love for my friends lately. I think we all need to stop and appreciate what we’ve got sometimes (especially after knowing what we don’t want), so I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share what they love most about their BFFs.

What does your BFF got that sets her apart? Read More »

Does this look like best friend material?

While we may have known many of our besties since elementary school, they say college is where you meet your bridesmaids. I don’t know who the hell “they” are, but it seems true enough. After four years of late night pizza runs, Friday night pre-gaming and makeup sessions, and spooning in tiny twin beds, you are bound to make those tight knit friendships.

You meet a ton of girls during your college years. Some are your long lost sisters, your soul mates for life. And then there are others, many others, that just aren’t BFF material. If we are in fact meeting our bridesmaids, we have to be careful when making friends, lest we end up with some husband-stealing ho bag who shows up drunk or skips out of the wedding early to make the other two weddings she has scheduled that day.

Here’s the list of girls to avoid at all costs. They will only make your life harder, so save yourself the stress (and the pimple that comes with it) and steer clear! Read More »

Although reviewed as “one of this year’s most inviting summer novels” by the New York Times, J. Courtney Sullivan’s first novel Commencement is the perfect back-to-school dorm room read to carry any undergraduate woman through the first days of their fall term. Whether you are a first year or a senior, Sullivan’s story about friendship, feminism, and the climb towards maturity will find its way into your heart.

A narrative about four friends at Smith College, an all women’s college in Massachusetts (famous alumnae include Gloria Steinem, Julia Child, Sylvia Plath, Betty Friedan…just to name a few), Sullivan captures the essence of what it means to make friends in the richest sense of the word, while chronicling life on campus and post-graduation adulthood.

Each character is truly distinct, making the novel easy to identify with. Think the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, except more adult. Sally, Celia, Bree, and April are four very different women, but their individuality weaves together beautifully, showing that sisterhood looks past Sally’s love for Lily Pulitzer, Celia’s conservative-yet-wild side, Bree’s Southern Belle charm, and April’s radical feminism to form a life-long bond, even if the girls couldn’t be more uncommon from each other.

Sullivan, alumnae of Smith herself, paints the all women’s atmosphere just as it should be, a unique and tradition-filled roller coaster of emotions. Giving an accurate glimpse of what it means to be a young woman at a college without men, Sullivan does not degrade Smith or the single-sex setting, but instead lifts it up and showcases it in a light that most do not see when they hear “all women.” Read More »

Most people know how much it sucks to break up with a boyfriend. Whether he treated you horribly or the relationship has just run its course, telling your boyfriend adios is not easy. And is usually followed by tears, vodka, long trips to the gym, or some combination of all three.

The only thing harder than a romantic breakup is breaking up with a friend.

How do you tell someone that is your ultimate best friend and gal pal that well, you’re just not that into her anymore?

Breaking things off with a BFF is definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Bottom line, this best friend just wasn’t really a friend anymore. She’d been flaking out on me, was way too caught up in trivial drama, and was never there when I truly needed her. She would only talk about herself and seemed completely uninterested in any details about my life. She seemed to be oblivious to her behavior and our deteriorating friendship, and I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had a genuine conversation.

Once I came to terms with the issues, I knew that our friendship was going to have to end. And then I noticed how eerily similar the end of a platonic relationship is to that of a romantic one.

The Fighting: We started to fight and bicker about the most insignificant details. Our opinions seemed to be on opposite sides of the spectrum, even though we used to finish each other’s sentences and always be on the same page.

The Little Things I Never Noticed Started to Piss. Me. Off: How did I not realize how petty and ignorant she was before? Did she always talk this much gossip about our friends? If she says the phrase,”I’ve never felt this way before!” about another guy, I will scream.

The Talk: I decided to sit down and have the talk with her. You know, about “us,” how it’s just not working and how I really felt. The talk went well, she promised she’d change and apologized for being a bia. Read More »

Want your question answered by La Tuff?! Email her your question at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly column!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have this friend who will NOT STOP BOTHERING ME! She’s really nice and I mean I know she means well but it’s like every time I look at my phone I have a text message or a voicemail from her. I’m so sick of it. And the most annoying part of it is I’ll call her back and she doesn’t have anything to say! She just “wanted to say hi” and then it’s like well I’m busy I have a life so can we talk when we see each other?! But now it’s to the point where I don’t even want to hang out with her.

It sucks because we’ve been friends since junior high (I just finished my freshman year of college), but I don’t know if it’s her or me but she’s really gotten annoying. I was away at State so I don’t know maybe I changed and she didn’t?

Anyway, help, please. I don’t want to lose her as a friend, but I don’t know how much more I can take.

Thanks, Tuffy!

Annoyed Read More »

We all have one. Some of us have two. You know who I’m talking about – that one guy you go to for just about everything. Whether you cuddle during chick flicks or meet up to play a game of basketball, you rely on him because he’s your boy best friend. The one who advises you, entertains you and buys you drinks at the bar when no one else will. It’s kind of like having a girl BFF…except you find him kind of, well, sexy.

I love the idea of the male best friend, but its the reality that I’m torn about…

Love it:

Sometimes you just need to get away from girls. They’re catty, annoying and borrow your clothes without asking. Plus, girls are so dramatic. It’s one thing to watch it on Gossip Girl, but dealing with crazy girl drama in real life just sucks. Guys on the other hand, are pretty much drama free. They don’t PMS, have great perspective on your relationship issues and love chauffeuring you around. They’re also good for reaching things on high shelves, scaring away creepy guys when you’re hitting the bar and carrying around your stuff.

The boy best friend makes a great stand-in wedding date, and your parents probably love him, unlike the last boy you dated. Oh, and it’s really fun to bring up tampons in conversation and watch him freak. the eff. out. Read More »

[Life isn’t black and white. As much as we wish we simply loved or hated things, there is often that whole annoying gray area in the middle. Like how we love the idea of a monokini, but we just don’t know if we can pull it off. Or how we love making money babysitting, but hate giving up a Saturday night. Damn you, gray area; you make decision-making that much more complicated!]

Guys, I have a problem. Like a really big problem. A few weeks ago, the most wonderful boy ever made his move and kissed me at a party. It was something I’d been waiting a year for. He’s sweet, kind, adorable and fun. Oh yeah, he also wants to be in a relationship. With me. Sounds perfect, right? Only problem- he’s my best friend.

Obviously, I like the kid – a lot – but I’m scared to potentially ruin things with the person I turn to for everything. I am utterly and completely torn. Read More »

We all know that eating right, exercising, drinking lots of water (not excessive amounts of alcohol), and not smoking increase your health and your chances of living longer overall.  But let’s be honest–how many of us actually do all those things, all of the time?  More often than not, I choose the cheeseburger over the salad at the cafeteria and most of my exercise comes from climbing the stairs between classes and walking around the mall.

But now, more and more evidence shows that while taking care of your body is important, there’s something else that contributes to a longer life: strong friendships.  A series of studies published in an article by the New York Times reveal the healthy impacts friendships have.  For example, in a ten-year-long study in Australia, researchers found that older people who had lots of friends were less likely to die during the course of the study than those with fewer friends.  Also, a Harvard study showed that strong social ties contributed to increased brain activity in older age.  Furthermore, it’s been found that people with strong friendships get fewer colds. Read More »