I have a tendency to speak my mind. Especially when my opinion is not particularly welcome.

I don’t think it is my fault; my mother is a very judgmental woman and if she thinks something, then everyone else should agree. Unfortunately, she passed that lovely trait onto me (along with big thighs, ugly toes and an obsession with a clean house).

I have tried to fix it.

For the past year I have made a conscious effort to be less judgmental and to let people make their own decisions.

The only problem I seem to have these days, though, is the inability to find the (oh so fine) line between being overly judgmental and being a good friend. I constantly find myself wondering where one ends and the other begins.

So, when my friend told me she met up with her ex who treated her like a piece of shit I didn’t know how to react.

On the one hand, I wanted to scream and tell her that he is not good for her; that he is only going to hurt her again. I wanted to make it cleat that even talking to him can lead to big, bad ugliness.

On the other hand, I wanted to let her make her own decisions. Let her see if he changed. Let her see if they would even be going down that road again. Then, if things end up as I predict they will, be there to bring her pretzels and frosting and make her smile.

I don’t know what to do. Is telling her how I feel – reminding her of her months of pain – the way to be a good friend? Read More »

I have been called many things in my life (bitch, fattie, thicker than a buttermilk biscuit), but one name that I wear with pride is “fag hag.”

Some people might be offended by the title, but not me; I can’t help that I love hanging out with fabulous people and more often than not gay men fall into that category. I also can’t help the fact that I went to school in one of the most liberal cities in the country and was just surrounded by ‘em.

What can I say? I love gay men. They are fun to shop with, great to dine with and just all around the best people to hang out with when you need a laugh or someone to cry to when their masculine brethren treat you like crap.

Unfortunately, since leaving college I have been unable to feed my gay-man addiction. And I am dying. DYING. Every guy I meet needs to flex his muscles and talk about sports. I need someone to talk Chanel with, damnit!

Anyways, in my quest to find new gay men to hang out with I hit the internet. No, I didn’t pass myself off as a gay man looking for love on Match.com (though that would have been super fabulous, no?).

In fact, I didn’t even mean to actively look for a gay best friend…that would be totally pathetic. I mean, I am slightly pathetic for even being upset about the lack of gay men in my life, but I have standards. And they definitely don’t include hitting the internet in search of friends. Read More »

Graduation is over. Your itchy and unflattering cap and gown are hung nicely in the back of your closet. You and your best friends huddle around your digital camera on the living room couch for the last time and look at pictures from graduation. You laugh and you cry (unless you are a guy, in which case you punch each other) as you reflect on all your great times together.

It is hard to imagine living without these awesome people.

But, you just might have to.

Everyone is now going in different directions and will soon be spread across the country starting their post college lives. Everyone will have new jobs, new friends and new people to take absurd selfies with (though this time during happy hour instead of at your house party). Sure, there is AIM, Facebook and free nights and weekends on your cell phone, but who is to say that these people won’t dump you the minute they hit the real world? Read More »

I’ve always been better friends with guys. I don’t know if it’s because I grew up with three brothers, or what, but I always seem to get along with them better.

Girls to me are just vicious. Sometimes it’s hard for me to deal with the constant talking behind each other’s backs, the judgment passed on everything from hairstyles to clothing—I need to retreat back to my boys and take a deep breath.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t have those same mean girl tendencies, or that I don’t have close girl friends. I will definitely make fun of someone’s outfit that I find…outrageous. But I think the biggest clue that a girl is a bitch is when she doesn’t have any girl friends—she’s obviously screwed over a lot of people, or has screwed a lot of people’s boyfriends. Read More »

It always worked on TV. When Donna Martin and David Silver broke up on 90210, they stayed friends. When Ross and Rachel broke up on Friends, they were eventually fine hanging out with the group.

So is it any wonder that I always held out hope that the same things were possible for me?

Despite the fact that everyone told me differently, I always thought that my ex and I could defy all odds and stay friends long after our year long relationship came to an end. After all, it didn’t end badly. It just ended. Read More »