You think scanning cards in the caf is bad?

Fruit will make you beautiful.

It’s time for a Michael Vartan hottie break!

Do guys talk sex with their boys?

Paris isn’t going to jail. Shocker!

4 habits you should start adopting in college.

Need a study buddy? Look online!

And with this, I start my Christmas countdown.

Brain food should be healthy foods that stimulate your thinking, but I mainly use it as an excuse to eat during finals.  When I started feeling sluggish after downing a bag of Skittles during my most recent study-a-thon, I decided to put down the bag of Sun Chps and look into what really constitutes “brain food.”

Here are the top 4 foods you should be eating to help stimulate your brain power in both the short and long term.

Fatty fish:  Fish high in omega-3 fats, such as salmon, bluefin tuna, and anchovies can help your brain in multiple ways.  A study in Finland determined that frequent fish eaters are less likely to be depressed than those that eat fish less frequently.  Another study found that eating fish or seafood at least once a week can diminish your risk for developing dementia later on.  This in no way means that you should pile your plate sky high with sardines in hope to avoid dementia.  While fatty fish contain high levels of omega-3s, they also contain trace amounts of mercury which can actually cause harm to the body in large amounts. To get just the right level of omega-3s to stimulate that brain, look to eat about 2 to 3 servings of fish per week.

Blueberries: Blueberries, along with other fruits and vegetables, have been shown to decrease the onset of brain degeneration due to Alzheimer’s disease.  Blueberries, due to their high phytochemical content, have also been linked to improved memory status and function.  Although blueberries are one of the best, other fruits and vegetables with high antioxidant contents can be just as effective.  Nosh on other (seasonal!)  fruits and vegetables to get your daily dose.

Coffee: Everybody knows about the energy-boosting effects of caffeine.  Caffeine is one of the quickest ways to give you a quick jolt of energy to get through studying, driving, or a long night.  What makes coffee extra great, however, is it’s antioxidant content.  Coffee is the single largest source of antioxidants in the American diet.  Antioxidants, like those in blueberries, can improve memory and brain function.  Just be sure that you don’t drink too much coffee as it can make you jittery and sleepless, which can actually decrease brain power. (Not to mention all that study time lost to frequent trips to the bathroom.)

Egg Yolks: This one is constantly moving on and off of nutrition’s s**t list.  While egg yolks are infamous for having a high cholesterol content, they aren’t all bad.  Egg yolks have the highest concentration of naturally-occurring choline, which can increase the function of acetylcholine in the brain.  Acetylcholine works as a signal between the brain and the body so it can carry out nerve functions.  It has also been linked to decreasing the onset of “senility” in subjects.  Scramble a few eggs in the morning to get your fix.

1. Those who turn anything edible into sheer brilliance just from their touch.

2. Those who can follow directions pretty well and make things that taste OK.

3. Those who are absolutely hopeless and are seriously challenged by even our “Intro to Cooking” series.

It’s you guys in the last category that I’m targeting with this post. That’s right! If you want to pull out some culinary skills for your sweetheart and totally wow him/her on V-Day but can’t seem to even make a box of mac and cheese without burning down the house, you can still make this fondue recipe. Really – it’s that easy. Plus, it’s chocolate. You can’t go wrong.

This recipe will make enough fondue for two people, with some left over (to do whatever you want with….)

What You Need:
• 5 ounces chocolate (chocolate chips will work)
• 2 tablespoons heavy cream
• Pinch of vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon sugar
• 2 teaspoons hot water

What You Do:
1. Since I know you don’t have a double boiler, you’ll be making this with a saucepan and a bowl. Simmer an inch or two of water in the pan, and set a heatproof bowl over it. Don’t let the bowl touch the water (so small bowls are probably best).
2. Put the chocolate and cream in the bowl. The hot water boiling in the pot will heat the bowl from underneath. Stir the mixture constantly until it melts.
3. When the chocolate is melted, smooth, and blended with the cream, remove it from the heat and add the vanilla, sugar, and water.
4. Whisk until smooth.
5. Keep warm (perhaps on top of the saucepan with the heat turned to low) until you’re ready to serve.
6. Once your honey bunny on a farm (or your single girlfriends with a chocolate craving) are ready, grab that chocolate and serve it with your favorite dippers: fruit, marshmallows, cookies, graham crackers, pretzels, body parts….

Romance and impressing the one you love has never been so easy!

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get listening.

(Guy, watching something in a sports bar.)

Guy: Okay … yeah, okay … ALL RIGHT! YES! I’m the BUTTERMAN! I’m the SEXY BUTTERMAN!

(Two girls, studying in the library.)

Girl 1: Yeah, I’ll probably start sleeping here too. Under the tables or something.

Girl 2: No, I said “sleeping with girls” in the library. That’s different.

Girl 1: Oh. Yeah, I guess it is.

(Girl, in a movie theater lobby.)

Girl: Yeah, what was up with those? The shak-ti people of the dunelands. The mol-kot people of the high cliffs. The lint people of lint-land. The butt people of my butthole.

(Guy, drops his food in the dining hall.)

Guy: Aww, bigc**k bearsf**k.

(Girl, on the phone in the library cafe.)

Girl: Wait … a cactus? Geez. Wow. Hard times. … Yeah, I guess it is cheaper than seeing a Proctologist.

(Professor, during the last lecture of the semester.)

Prof: Honestly, being a straight woman is really overrated. I’d say “eat it, straight girls,” except you can’t.

(Girl, singing softly as she unpacks her stuff in the library.)

Girl: One, two, three, I got finals and me, calc and chemistry and I’m caught in between.

(Guy, entering a dorm lounge.)

Guy: Oh my god. That interview.

Guy 2: How was it?

Guy: You know how, when you get nervous, you feel like your stomach is full of butterflies? Mine felt like it was getting ripped out through my anus.

(Two girls, next to the fruit section in the dining hall.)

Girl 1: You think we need a trash bag?

Girl 2: Yeah, I’ll get one.

Employee: Excuse me. You can’t take those.

Girl 1: We can’t?

Girl 2: Yeah we can.

Employee: No, you can’t.

Girls: (leave)

Cute veggie handler is always in season.

If you ask any environmentalist what you should eat to go green, they almost always will mention in-season produce.  I, like most of us, love the idea of eating fresh vegetables that haven’t been genetically modified to grow year round.

The only problem with eating in-season vegetables?  I have no freakin’ idea which vegetables are in season!  This holds especially during the colder months, when I, a California native, just assume that everything everywhere else is buried underneath a good 5 feet of snow.  In case you, like me, are utterly clueless when it comes to veggies, I have compiled a handy little guide to make the most educated choices when you’re at your neighborhood farmers market (because that’s obvi where you’re shopping, right??).

Why should I care? In season fruits and vegetables cure cancer.  Okay, not really, but they are still better for your health because they’re less likely to be doused in chemicals.  In-season crops are meant to grow during that time, meaning that they need less manmade help in order to thrive.  They’re also better for the environment because they’re less likely to be shipped from a faraway place that has the perfect growing climate for that crop.  Plus, they just taste better without all of that icky stuff all over it.

What do I need to know? Buying in season is great, but buying locally in season is best.  Head to your neighborhood farmer’s market and buy from the small, local farmers.  They’re less likely to spend money on genetically modified crops and pesticides that keep out of season plants alive, so it’s a greater guarantee that you’ll be putting your money towards those in-season crops.

How do I know which crops are in season? There are some great websites that can provide all of that information for you with the click of a mouse.  My favorite is Sustainable Table because it’s really easy and informative.  Just put in your state, select which month it is and, viola (!), it’s all done for you.

What if I’m just too lazy? Here are a list of crops that are generally in season during the winter months.  Keep in mind that these may or may not be in season in your region, so be sure to double check at Sustainable Table.  For quick reference, winter crops may include…

Brussel Sprouts
Cabbage
Carrots
Celery
Onions
Leeks
Potatoes
Pumpkins
Radishes
Greens: Spinach, Arugula, Lettuce, Kale, Swiss Chard, Collard Greens
Turnips
Winter Squash
Apples (early winter only)

What if I hate those foods? Get over it!  I’m guessing that most of us haven’t tried most of the crops on that list.  So suck it up, get creative, and eat yummy food!  I promise, anything can taste good with a few spices and the right recipe.  Plus, adding variety to your diet can really improve your nutritional status.  So dig in and have fun!

Last Tuesday I saw the documentary Food, Inc. and it changed my life.  Although it had a relatively minimal environmental focus, it still reminded me how important we are as consumers and how much our food purchasing decisions actually make a difference.

Think about it – 10 years ago you couldn’t really find any substantial amount of organic produce in mainstream supermarkets.  Now, due to the demand for healthier and more sustainable products, the supermarkets are flooded with organic products from Oreos to macaroni and cheese.  And for those of you who think you can’t afford eco-friendly foods on a college budget, think again.  I will show you where, how, and what to buy to decrease your carbon “foodprint” while increasing the size of your wallet.

1. Skip the supermarket and head to your local farmer’s market.   By shopping locally, you support your neighborhood farmer and decrease the amount of fossil fuels needed to transport your food.  Most of the food sold at farmers markets is organic, and even if it’s not, you still increase the amount of in-season crops that you purchase.  Plus, by cutting out the middle man (i.e. the supermarkets) you can usually get a better price for healthier foods.  Find a farmer’s market (or two!) in your town by visiting www.localharvest.org.

2. Order delivery. If you don’t have time to hit the farmer’s market, you should check out community-supported agriculture (CSA) programs in your area.  When you subscribe to a CSA, you buy your produce directly from a farmer.  Your produce usually comes in a giant box per week that the farm delivers directly to you or to a pick-up spot near you.  The best part about the box is that all of the produce is in-season, fresh, and organic.  Each week’s box is a surprise filled with vegetables and fruits that you never knew existed.  It’s a great opportunity for you and your roommates to share the expense (and the cooking!) of eco-friendly, healthy foods.

3. Be picky. As much as we’d like to, most of us can’t afford to buy solely organic foods.  Skip the confusion at the grocery store head to www.foodnews.org.  This website lists various produce items in order of their tendency to be contaminated with pesticides.  Some of the most contaminated foods include peaches, apples, bell peppers, celery, nectarines, and strawberries.  These are foods that you should definitely buy organic if you can.  If you’re strapped for cash, don’t worry about onions, avocados, pineapples, mangoes, and asparagus – these have the lowest pesticide load of all produce.

4. Eat your vegetables. It takes far less energy to produce vegetables than meat, dairy, and produce.  Each year, livestock consume about half of the grains and oilseeds grown in the U.S., which requires huge amounts of pesticides and fertilizers to produce.  They are also constantly sprayed with insecticides and injected with antibiotics to keep them healthy despite their too-tight living quarters.  All of this requires tons of energy and produces a huge amount of pollution.  Instead, limit your consumption of meat, dairy, and seafood or buy organic meats and wild seafood if you can’t go without.  Even just adopting a “meatless Mondays” tradition can decrease your carbon “foodprint” by leaps and bounds.

5. Avoid processed foods. If you can’t do any of the above, simply choosing fresher, non-processed foods can do tons of good for the environment and your health.  Processed foods require dozens of ingredients (most of which are artificial and/or doused in pesticides) to produce and preserve the product.  Most of these ingredients are shipped in from all over to a main processing plant before the finished product is even shipped out to supermarkets.  Avoid the “mystery ingredients” and vow to only eat food made with ingredients you can actually pronounce.

Food production is one of the top sources of greenhouse gases and pollution.  Be sure to educate yourself before you put something like that in your body!  If you want more information, check out the documentary Food, Inc., go to www.coolfoodscampaign.org, or check out books like Fast Food Nation and In Defense of Food.

Every college library is similar – always too hot or too cold, smells kind of bad but you aren’t sure why, phrases etched into the tables, and a mixed population of students either writing on each others’ Facebook walls or writing 20 page term papers in a single night.

Good times!

I used to be very anti-library (who isn’t), but this semester I have found ways to make it more comfortable, enjoyable and conducive to a productive day/evening/month of work-doing. It’s all about being prepared (for anything) and as long as you have these essentials in that backpack of yours, you can be successful too.

Water bottle: This seems obvious but you’d be surprised. I once pulled an all-nighter without bringing a water bottle and because I was so into the work I was doing, I never felt like going to get water. Stupid mistake! I got tired and sick, and spent my night drooling on my laptop instead of researching on it. The next time I filled that sucker up a few times per hour, got everything done, and felt great the next day. Also, drinking only coffee, tea or Red Bull (or Bawls...) will almost definitely dehydrate you, cause you to crash sooner than without caffeine and probably give you a terrible stomachache (which may explain that weird smell in the libs….).

Personal hygiene products: I’ll admit that I’m a little weird when it comes to hygiene – I carry toothbrushes with me wherever I go – but I highly suggest anyone going to the library for an extended period of time should have at least a toothbrush thrown in their backpack. Some other products that always come in handy for me are hand sanitizer, lotion, tissues, chapstick, and deodorant. Trust me, it’s better for everyone if you smell like a “Satin Pear” (whatever that is) than whatever 10 hours in a dirty library smells like for a 9:35 Italian class!

Oh and don’t forget the gum! Studies show that chewing gum helps jog memory and you are much better off bringing your own than being forced to bum it off someone you may or may not of (you just aren’t sure…) hooked up with freshman year (FML).

Electronic accessories: Bring them all. There is nothing worse than having your computer die halfway (or 90%) through a paper, or your cell phone dying and not being able to text your friend about which book you were supposed to have read for Competitive Authoritarianism in the Middle East (Oops?). You are also going to want to throw in a pair of (noise canceling) earphones to block out the loud whispers, Swine Flu sneezing fits and vibrating cell phones of those (RUDE) people around you. If listening to your favorite jams distracts you, set up a Pandora station with Ludwig Van Beethoven or any other classical music that will give you some relaxing surround sound.

Fruit*: The natural sugar in fruit will pep you up a little bit and not make you too full when you are working diligently in the library. Sometimes when I don’t feel like eating anything (which rarely ever occurs) fruit is less daunting than say, a sandwich, and makes you feel healthier than devouring a bag of peach rings. The asterisk next to fruit stands for whatever the hell Starbucks sells in the middle of the night when the last fruit cup is sold. If they don’t have fruit, go for something that has fiber or protein. Scones, bagels and other carby snacks will give you a quick fix, but aren’t what you need for the long haul on that paper (or your FB Scrabble game).

Protection: A very sophisticated study was done (aka a group of my friends chatting last week) and turns out, many students have fantasized about/have had/would be willing to have sex in a library. Put these curious students together with a desperate need for procrastination and a relatively isolated spot in the stacks, and well, all I can say is throw some of these guys in your bag too…

Parka/Bathing Suit/Etc.: I am quite certain that they put the temperature on random numbers each day just to keep the students on their toes. If you cannot personally adapt to arctic or tropical studying conditions at the drop of a hat, I’d say prepare. Just yesterday my library was pumping heat into the study rooms and it was 92 degrees outside. Trust me, I wish I had that bathing suit… and one of those ghetto sprinklers to play in while I did my Italian homework.

“Going out clothes”/supplies: Many a time, I or people I know, will spend obscene amounts of time working on a very important assignment, all the while fighting the urge to party. My post-assignment celebrations are kind of like the carrot that keeps me going and my GPA where it is supposed to be. Best to be prepared. Throw a few evening essentials (accessories, shoes, makeup, flask?) into your bag for a quick change in the bathroom. Just please do not wear your leopard stilettos and “club wear” to the library; even my earphones can’t cancel out the sound of bangles running across a desktop.

I hope I helped you pack your backpack for the library. While I (attempt to) joke a lot, seriously take care of yourself during finals. Keep eating, sleeping and getting fresh air – humans need those things! If you have major procrastination problems, consider deactivating your Facebook account during this time, or, better yet, try not to bring your computer at all if you can help it! Happy studying.

Time for me to fill up my water bottle and get to the ‘brary.

Either way, more than likely, you’ll start looking at the art classes.  It’s a coast class right?  Draw some pictures, get a little paint under your nails, maybe make a charcoal drawing of fruit.  Simple.  Relaxing

Until you meet… The Art Major.

She will show up on the first day of class with a portfolio already in hand.  It doesn’t matter if she’s a freshman or not; her portfolio will be as big as Barbie’s dream house and contain every sketch, scribble, and doodle she ever made.  Be careful about this one.  There’s a great possibility that you’ll get whacked with that thing before the semester is over (she doesn’t always care/is too high to notice where she’s  swinging it).

Just like any other stereotypical person on campus, the Art Major one has a uniform.  This person is going to be wearing a black hoodie zipped up.  The hoodie will have <insert “artistic” band name here> on it.  They wear jeans or cargo pants.  Their shoes will be flats with something like stars on them, oftentimes doodles on by the wearer.  Sometimes the uniform will vary so, when in doubt, look at the face.

No, it’s not like art majors are horribly disfigured or anything.  It’s more like they all have the same “I’m artsy” vibe goin’ on. The girls will usually have cat-eye shaped glasses (whether they need them or not), over eyes lined in any crazy shade of liner.  Red, blue, or green, it doesn’t matter.  They will use the whole color palette on their face if they can.  Only the complementary colors, of course.  They are art majors, after all.

When not in art class, the art major will be sitting in front of blank walls/buildings on campus/plates of food and sketching. Or painting. Or making you feel uncomfortable as you get the feeling they are doing some sort of art project with you as the centerpiece. They will be with a fellow art major discussing topics such as how much deeper they are than everyone else, the cost of oil paints these days, and some hippie Indie film that just came out.

And when they are in class? Well, their natural talent is just going to make you feel like crap.  They can make your bowl of fruit (that you spent hours on) look like a 3-year-old’s doodle. And then look at you with a mixture of pity and resentment over those cat-eyed glasses and make you wish you’d taken a music class instead.

The first time I ate in my college dining hall was the first time I realized that putting on that Freshman 15 wasn’t due to just drinking more alcohol. How on earth can I avoid the temptation of returning to the dessert bar…three times?

Never in my life had tons of food been readily available to me and all paid for. The moment I saw the glimmer of that giant soft serve machine was the moment I knew I was doomed. But I’ve found the solution, people! By keeping some delicious (and healthy) snacks in my room constantly, it’s easier to avoid extras at every meal in the dining hall by reminding myself I can healthfully indulge in between meals. Worried about looking like a food hoarder? I’ve included some cute ways to display your morsels of goodness.

1. Hershey’s Kisses

If you haven’t had a Hershey’s Kiss in a while, let me tell you– they last WAY longer than you’d expect, especially if you let them melt in your mouth. At 25 calories each, you could have four or five before you hit the hay. Plus, they look really cute in a curvy apothecary jar, and I promise you’ll have friends stopping by juuust a little more often if the jar has easy access to visitors. Bonus points for buying the red and green foils during the holidays.

2. Energy Bars

I don’t know about you, but I’m a HUGE energy bar fan. I love trying new ones and have found a few winners for both taste and nutrition: Kashi TLC bars, Powerbar Pria bars (110 calories) and Luna Bars (usually around 180 calories– or try the Mini versions at 80 calories!). Try asking around for any old vintage cigar boxes. I have tons of beautiful yellow wooden cases that are the perfect size! Nowadays people are making these cigar boxes into purses by adding a handle, but they’ll fit nicely in your desk drawer or could be displayed on your shelf!

3. Flavored Almonds

I know, I know, what is the flavored part about? If you’ve hit up any supermarkets recently, you may have seen Blue Diamond’s line of Natural Roasted Almonds in colorful cup-holder-friendly containers. But they’re not just ANY almonds– they come in Vanilla, Cinnamon Brown Sugar, Salted and Unsalted. I wanted to incorporate almonds into my diet but couldn’t make myself until I found these delicious things. As an added bonus, there’s portion control markers on the side of the container so it’ll be easier for us to use moderation. The container ain’t too hard on the eyes, either.

4. Fresh Fruit

Try to grab some extra fresh fruit to take back to your room next time you’re at a meal. Apples seem to last a little longer than, say, peaches…but it all depends on your preference. Bananas are filling, apples have great crunch, and oranges improve your mood. Fruit is a great pick me up between class and you can grab one of them on your way out the door. Try to get your hands on a colorful ceramic bowl to keep them in. If you know you love orange fruit, try to get a blue one to compliment the color. Also, if your mother is like mine and gave you a big glass vase for your room (assuming, of course, you’d have time or energy to keep fresh flowers…silly mother), you could easily keep an apple collection in the vase. Spas do it all the time! If you like dried fruit, store them in the apothecary jars as I suggested for the Hershey’s Kisses.

5. Air-pop popcorn, Pita Chips, Quakes, Pretzels

Some of my favorite healthy snacks come in similar size snack bags– Stacy’s Pita Chips, Quakes, Rold Gold Pretzels, and Orville Redenbacher 100-calorie Smart Pop. Convenience, health, and excitement all in one! Stacy’s Pita Chips and Quakes are so good you definitely don’t regret avoiding their greasy counterpart – the potato chip. Orville’s Smart Popcorn is only one hundred calories, and let me tell you– you get a LOT of bang for your calorie buck. I eat them constantly and am pleasantly surprised every single time by the sheer volume of popcorn you get for 100 calories. If you’re looking for a cute way to store them, buy a rectangular, long wicker basket and snuggle all your packs next to each other. You could keep the basket on a shelf or above your bookcase.

So there you have it! Good luck beginning your career as a healthy, chic-ly stocked chick!

I ended up buying 5 pounds of apples.

When I got home, I decided it was time to put all my energy to good use and bake a pie. I turned up loud, energetic music and started up the oven. As a semi-professional cook, making delicious things was always a kind of therapy, and was a way to channel my emotions. I asked one of my male friends if baking a pie was an appropriate response to a breakup, and I was told, “Only if you’re planning on throwing it at his face while it’s still steaming hot.” Aah, right to the point.

So now I present the:

I’m-Too-Good-For-Him-Anyway Apple Pie:

8 cups of peeled, sliced apples (Approx 1- 1 1/2 lbs)

1/3 cup sugar

2-3 teaspoons of cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

2 pie crusts (Store bought. You can find them in the refrigerator section) ‘

Vanilla ice cream or whipped cream

1.) Heat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit

2.) Peel, core and slice your apples. Slices can be thick, thin, whatever you want. Word of caution: thick apples will stay kind of firm, whereas thin apples will bake into kind of a mush.

3.) Toss the apples with the lemon juice, then mix in the sugar and cinnamon

4.) Add vanilla and give it a last stir.

5.) Unfold your pie crust into your tin or baking dish. Make sure there’s a little crust overhanging your pie pan.

6.) Pour or layer your apples into the crust

7.) Unfold and lay the top crust over your apples. Using a fork, seal the edges of the pie by making fork indentations along the outside.

8.) Using the tip of your knife, mark the top. Draw a picture, make an X, do whatever you want. This will allow steam from your pie to escape to prevent it exploding all over your oven.

9.) If you want a pretty finish on your pie, brush a little egg white over the top crust, and sprinkle with a little bit of sugar.

10.) Put your pie in the oven. Set a kitchen timer, your watch, or your cell phone to about 30 minutes. Check your pie when the timer goes off and if your pie isn’t dark enough, add 10 more minutes to the bake time.

[scrumptious photo from lickyourownbowl.files.wordpress.com]