Our elementary school days were filled with lazy after-school sessions of TV surfing; all those wholesome family shows chock full of life lessons, physical comedy and a happy ending. We were addicted to the Full House family and all the hilarious mishaps of Tim the Tool Man Taylor. We couldn’t wait to see who Joey Potter chose each week on Dawson’s Creek and, though we’d never admit it, we even tuned in to see what crazy villain the Power Rangers took down every Saturday.
We were innocent little children soaking up the entertainment.
But we’re not so innocent anymore. Now we’re hormone raging college girls and, looking back, our favorite childhood shows were overflowing with serious male hotness. Hotness that we’d like to go back in time and get naughty with… if we had a DeLorean.
If I had these sort of inappropriate thoughts back in the day, my mother never would have let me watch Family Matters alone in my room. Read More »
Who do you think you are? I mean really. You come around once a month like that annoying friend you don’t really want to hear from, yet every month, without fail, she asks you for plans and you feel sort of obligated. So you give in, but then coffee turns into an all day shopping ordeal and by the end you want to tear your hair out because now not only did you learn that you can’t stand the person you are with, but – bonus lesson! – you learned that eating cookies DOES in fact equal having to buy a size up in your jeans.
Well that’s how I feel with you. Only instead of a day, it’s 5 and the only person I can’t stand to be around is myself. (The part of the too-tight jeans rings true thanks to you making me feel the urge to eat a bag of something salty, which of course leads me to want something sweet, which then of course leads me to want a tuna sandwich. I know! I don’t get it either!)
You make me weepy. I cry at Disney commercials (true story) and when the cheesy music comes on as the lesson is learned at the end of Full House. Strike that – you make me actually want to watch Full House. Read More »
They are always exciting and romantic and make me weak in the knees. Well, the ones with people I like, at least. I’m not counting those drunken makeout sessions with some creeper who attacks you out of nowhere while you’re enjoying a night out with the girls.
The first kiss is a pivotal moment in any relationship. After waiting forever (be it weeks, days, minutes…), wondering if he/she wants to kiss you as much as you want to kiss him/her, your lips finally meet and it’s all fireworks and passionate background music.
….Or slobbering sounds and teeth knocking into eachother.
Yeah, we may all want that romantic first kiss scene that we’ve seen in all our favorite movies (Slumdog Millionaire) and TV shows (Full House…with the “ooooo”s coming from the fake live audience), but there are a lot of really bad kissers out there. And somehow we keep finding them.
The question is: is a bad kiss enough to turn you off completely? Does a little (ok, a lot of) drool cancel out the great conversation, cute eyes and fact that he actually brought you flowers? Or is that something that can be worked on?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got the winter blues. Between my frozen fingers, my wet toes and the gray skies, I am not sure how much longer I am going to last. I want some sun, dammit! Not that it is coming any time soon; winter has only just begun. We have at least 3 more months of Uggs, gloves and snotcicles dripping down our faces.
How are we supposed to make it through? The CollegeCandy writers give us their best beat-the-winter-blues advice:
Sarah – East Carolina University: I bake cookies. And everything else that is loaded with sugar, or chocolate, or other deliciousness.
Kathryn S.: Booze, booze, booze, and watching holiday movies. While drunk. Read More »
[It's the first full week of December, and while the rest of the world gears up for The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, I still need to take a break from the constant holiday cheer. The following is this week’s Pissed List, so if you’ve got to vent, too, just holla atcha girl!]
1. The Full House Remake
You weren’t a child of the ’90s unless you watched “Full House” (and if you didn’t, you seriously missed out on some major TGIF action). You knew the Tanner family. You still catch reruns when you stumble upon them flipping through the channels. You pause, you catch a Kimmy Gibbler cameo and laugh, and you remember how things were. And that’s how it should be. Now that John “Uncle Jesse” Stamos is proposing a Full House remake show, all our classic memories may be tainted. Seeing the aged DJ and Steph and the rest of the gang is just going to make me feel like an old fart. And the next thing you know, people are going to start making covers of good ’90s songs, and I’m going to start thinking to myself, “the original ‘Quit Playin Games With My Heart’ was so much better,” and then I will have turned into my mother, and this can’t happen during my 20s.
2. The Obama Citizenship Scandal
I don’t quite follow why this is happening (for all practical purposes, the presidential transition is already underway, and the last thing this country needs is more divisive action), but someone is suing Barack Obama, disputing his US citizenship and thus his claim to the presidency. For the record, Obama was born on August 4, 1961 in Hawaii, which became a member of the Union in 1959. Now what’s the problem? (And let’s not forget that former-rival John McCain was born in Panama on US-zoned territory). Read More »
While diving into a giant slice of warm apple pie (the kind with the crumble topping) and a melty scoop of vanilla bean ice cream, I thought to myself,
“Holy sh*t, this is better than sex.”
And I totally meant it. That treat was pure heaven: creamy, sweet, indulgant…and I didn’t have to have awkward conversation with it after.
There aren’t many things I think that highly of, but I would give up sex for that dessert any day. (Or every day if it was fat free.) Like me, the rest of the CollegeCandy writers love getting frisky, but this week they weighed in on the very special things in life that are truly better than sex.
Olua: A good book. Call me a nerd if you want, but I’d usually rather be reading on an uneventful night than doin’ the dirty.
S.E. – Fordham: Gooey butter cake is way better then sex. It melts in your mouth, tastes like heaven, and is sweeter then any orgasm.
Kathryn S.: The thrill of the chase, because you can imagine “the perfect moment,” you don’t have to worry about “the morning after,” and because Chuck Bass instigated it on Gossip Girl.
Erica – Kent State: I don’t know why, but I am absolutely in love with pizza. I can’t tell you how many nights I have decided to skip going home with a hot guy in favor of returning to mi casa because I knew my roommates were going to order something from Pizza Hut. Read More »
I don’t do sports. I don’t play them, I don’t watch them, and I most importantly don’t understand them. I still get basketballs, footballs, and blueballs confused. Until I was not-so-gently corrected by a friend, I thought Tiki Barber was the name of a Hawaiian hair salon. So it comes as no surprise that I not only don’t participate in watching the weekend football games, but I actually go out of my way to avoid them.
My roommate and I have an understanding: I leave the apartment when she watches the Eagles game and she leaves the apartment when I watch Grey’s Anatomy. We both find the others’ television viewing choice ridiculous and pointless. On the rare occasion I make the mistake of sticking around during a football game I am subjected to her ear-piercing screams that are so loud and so full of energy that people must mistake her cheers for domestic abuse. When they are winning she shouts; when they are losing she screams. Either way, it’s a lose-lose situation for me.
However, she apparently isn’t the only one that enjoys the sport and over the years I’ve had to endure several games. By several, I mean two. I’ve learned a few things along the way: Read More »
Thinking about a dad in a non-fatherly way is gross. On so many levels.
But at TV dad? Well, that’s a whole ‘nother story.
Everyone at one point has been watching a show and had a rare, but undeniable attraction to a TV Dad. An “I wish I could reach into the TV, knock his wife out and take him right there on the kitchen table” sorta moment. Or a, “If that man didn’t have spit up on his shoulder I would totally do him,” situation.
I know I’m not alone….
There are just some delicious TV dads. The kind of dads that make dad crushes OK (or not quite as gross and sick and wrong).
So, instead of privately fantasizing about all the Hot Dads I’d like to screw, I’ve compiled a list for your reading and viewing pleasure.
I’ve had quite a few first kisses.
[It's the first full week of December, and while the rest of the world gears up for The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, I still need to take a break from the constant holiday cheer. The following is this week’s Pissed List, so if you’ve got to vent, too, just holla atcha girl!]
How did Santa know I wanted a “Full House” 
While diving into a giant slice of warm apple pie (the kind with the crumble topping) and a melty scoop of vanilla bean ice cream, I thought to myself,
I don’t do sports. I don’t play them, I don’t watch them, and I most importantly don’t understand them. I still get basketballs, footballs, and blueballs confused. Until I was not-so-gently corrected by a friend, I thought Tiki Barber was the name of a Hawaiian hair salon. So it comes as no surprise that I not only don’t participate in watching the weekend football games, but I actually go out of my way to avoid them.
Thinking about a dad in a non-fatherly way is gross. On so many levels.
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