(Girl, bringing a drink back to a table.) Guy: Whad'ya get? Girl: It's a gimlet. Guy: Oh. We usually freeze those. Or put them in the gravy.
(Two girls, walking) Girl 1: OK, we take this to the grave. Girl 2: Yeah, no one can find out. Girl 1: Kinda like the time I cried in the Lizzie McGuire movie. Girl 2: Or when you peed on Stacie's boots
(Two girls, walking.) Girl 1: So how was last night? Girl 2: It was great. Craziest sex I've ever had.... But I'm worried. I think he might like me.
(Girl, complaining in the student union lounge.) Girl: I used to like Gaga, you know, back when I thought she was a hermaphrodite. Like, I'd watch her, and I'd be like "yeah, this is good, I like this," but I was always on my toes. Because you never know when something might just - pop out! It was exciting.
(Two girls, walking through the mud after a football game.) Girl 1: I want to make a really inappropriate joke. Girl 2: Is it a Trail of Tears joke? Girl 1: Okay, yeah.
(A bunch of people sitting around a campfire.) Girl 1: Marshmallows are kinda gross, when you think about it. Girl 2: I think it’s a good kind of gross. Like tiny, edible fat people.
(Two girls, studying in the library.) Girl 1: Yeah, I'll probably start sleeping here too. Under the tables or something. Girl 2: No, I said "sleeping with girls" in the library. That's different. Girl 1: Oh. Yeah, I guess it is.
Two girls, walking through the mud after a football game. Girl 1: I want to make a really inappropriate joke. Girl 2: Is it a Trail of Tears joke? Girl 1: Okay, yeah.
(Two girls, coming out of an exam.) Girl 1: Bombed it. That was terrible. Girl 2: I think I did okay, actually. Girl 1: And - damnit! And I forgot to water my veggies in FarmVille!
(Two girls in the dining hall.) Girl 1: I know. I'm the best wing man ever! Girl 2: Well, who's your wing man? Girl 1: (Pointing to her breasts and shimmying) I've got two.
(Two guys at a giant party.) Guy 1: What? The cops are coming now? Guy 2: Yo, don't touch my ass, bro. Guy 1: I'll touch your ass. I'll touch your ass as much as I want.
(One girl, leaning across the aisle during class.) Girl 1: Hey... hey. Girl 2: What? Girl 1: Have you ever been to CakeFarts dot com?
(Girls meeting up in the morning.) Girl 1: What'd you do last night? Girl 2: Not much. Watched a lot of the Batman animated series. Felt a lot of inappropriate things.
(Girl, talking to friends.) Girl: I always imagined that you could just use the Force on your shoes, and fly. But then I guess you'd have to use the Force on all your other clothes, too, or you'd just be getting dragged around the sky by your feet.
(Linguistics professor, introducing a grammar topic.) Prof: This is grammar. Grammar is not love. It's sphincter-like. (Kid in a class.) Guy: Professor, I'm sorry I wasn't in class last week. I was sick with Hulu.
(Girl, in an English class.) Girl: Wasn't that, you know... the British lady. Madeline Albright? No. Madeline L'Engle. Professor: Margaret Thatcher? Girl: Yeah. That one.
(Guy and a girl, talking loudly at a Thai restaurant.) Guy: Wait, what did you say? I'm the queen of miscommunication? Girl: No! No, I said I was - Guy: Well. This is ironic.
(Old people sitting down in a restaurant.) Old Lady: Oh, in my industry, we only have one joke. Customers ask, 'Which vacuum is the best?' And I say, 'Oh, they all suck.' Ha! Ha ha ha!
(Two guys, talking next to a weight bench.) Guy 1: We skied a whole bunch last winter. Do you partake? Guy 2: Yeah, sometimes. You're talking about cocaine, right?
(Middle-aged woman in at a grocery checkout.) Woman: Excuse me. Sir, can I ask you a question? Bagboy: Yes, ma'am? Woman: Where do you keep the Snickers bars and condoms?
(Two guys, sitting in a class.) Guy: Dude, this is so sad. My friend just texted me asking what "IDK" meant. I texted him "I don't know" and he texted back "MAN NOBODY KNOWS!"
(Guy, watching four girls move a table out of an apartment.) Guy: Hey, uh, can I help you girls with anything? Girl: Yeah, you can spend nine months carrying unborn humans in your belly for us.
(A bunch of people sitting around a campfire.) Girl 1: Marshmallows are kinda gross, when you think about it. Girl 2: I think it's a good kind of gross. Like tiny, edible fat people.
(Girl, sitting outside a bar, talking with friends.) Girl: Every single guy in that bar has a gross mustache. Even the ones who don't. (Guy on a bus, yelling into his phone.) Guy: I'm not wearing the orange jacket! I hate PVC! No. Absolutely not! I'll look ridiculous. I'm going with the checkered.
[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]