[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Middle-aged couple in a diner.)

Man: I can’t do this sudoku.

Woman: You’re looking at it upside down. And that’s the crossword.

(Girls, in a video store.)

Girl 1: We should just take every women’s studies class and replace the curriculum with “Tank Girl.”

(Girl, shouting from a kitchen)

Girl: Who wants some kitten pie?

(Girl and guy, talking in a restaurant.)

Girl: You remind me of Seth Rogen. Like, it’s kinda weird.

Guy: How so?

Girl: Well, like, I feel like you’re probably both into the same weird fetishes. You know? Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Guys in a liquor store, looking at whiskey.)

Guy 1: Evan Williams? Who the f*** is Evan Williams?

Guy 2: Hey! Look at me! Evan Williams! I’m like Jack Daniel, but I scored 40 points higher on my SATs!

(Girls at a party.)

Girl 1: Fart jokes are, like, the apogee of comedy. Funny every time.

Girl 2: Yeah, it’s like, “To be or not to – ” *PPPPHHHHRRPPP*

(Girl and boy, looking into a storefront.)

Girl: Uh, what? Are you talking about child pornography?

Boy: No! I was talking about the martini glasses! Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(A girl and her boyfriend at a large restaurant table.)

Girl: He’s really wonderful. He doesn’t speak a lot of English, though. Right, honey? Not so much English?

Boyfriend: *shrug, smile of confusion*

(Sad girl, on the phone.)

Girl: I know. I should really stop dating boys when I realize they’re evil overlords.

(A bunch of people sitting around a campfire.)

Girl 1: Marshmallows are kinda gross, when you think about it.

Girl 2: I think it’s a good kind of gross. Like tiny, edible fat people. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Guy reading a paper)

Guy: Oh, geez. Things are changing. We could be Southern Canada. We could be Far-Northern Venezuela.

(Guys, eying a car.)

Guy 1: You got any adhesive? Krazy glue or something?

Guy 2: Got some duct tape in the house.

Guy 1: Nah, I can’t use duct tape, I’ll look like I’m from around here.

(Girl, sitting outside a bar, talking with friends.)

Girl: Every single guy in that bar has a gross mustache. Even the ones who don’t. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Two women in business suits at a bus stop.)

“Oh! That’s a nice sandwich, Mary. I mean it. That’s a really nice sandwich.”

(Girls walking past a barn.)

“Horses! Horses over there! Quick, look cool for the horses!”

“Yeahhh. What’s up, horses?”

(A girl talking about her roommate who needed to be helped out of a bar.)

“Yeah, I saw you guys carrying her out, but I still had a full pitcher of beer, and I was like, ‘I can’t bail on this.’” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Heard from physics students walking behind me.)
Guy 1: So the senior design engineer says, hey, that’s a mismatched transistor! The deficient fusion constants differed from the manufacturing!
(General laughter.)
Guy 2: Oh, naw, man, you told it wrong. You messed it up.

(From a reader: Two girls, talking earnestly in a shopping center.)
Girl 1: Yeah, I know, that’s like… the worst fish to be, if you were a fish.
Girl 2: Yeah, like I would never want to be that fish. Literally.

(Two guys on a bench.)
Guy 1: You can’t just push people over because they’re poor!
Guy 2: Why not? I think that’s a great reason! Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“It’s late. It’s dangerously late. I’d better set my clock for omelettes.”

“Oh my God! The Japanese Dragon! It… it escaped from the Chinese New Year’s Parade!”

“When will you be there?”

“Why do you care?”

“So I can hang out with you – my friend. Because I’ve got friends. Unlike you.”

“That kitten’s got a beard. He doesn’t see anything wrong with it. He thinks it’s just dandy, that poor little guy.”

You can’t be too hung over. You need to wake up and have no motivation. When having no motivation is actively painful, then you got a problem.

The best way to experience Groundhog Day is via video – you know, you really get that one crowning moment of groundhog perfection.

Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“Holy s***! What’s he doing?”

“He’s just playing video games.”

“He looks like he’s having a seizure! He looks possessed! I’ll never understand boys. They’re all like that. Possessed.”

A girl spills most of a box of cereal on her shirt:

“Oh god – I’m such a sand rat today!”

“Shakespeare? You know, he’s not bad. He’s had his moment in the sun. I think he needs to have his moment in the butt.”

A boy walks by a girl with a shaved head, then stops and does a double-take.

Boy: “Good evening, mister.“

Girl: (no reply)

Boy, after a beat: “I mean, what I’m saying is, you look like a boy.“

Girl: (no reply, walks away)

Boy: “God! Whatever!” Read More »

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

(It’s a scarce week for funnies this time around, as nothing interesting happens during the Thanksgiving holiday.)

In the mall:

Wife 1: “Is your husband being a Scrooge, too?”

Wife 2: “No, we’re just tired out. Taking a break.”

(Husbands exchange meaningful glances.)

Wife 1: “We haven’t even started shopping yet, and he’s already complaining!”

Husband 1: “I just don’t think we have the money this year.”

Wife 1: “Oh, stop being such a baby.”

Husband 1: “So… about that divorce, honey… oh, c’mon, I’m kidding. I’m kidding! Mostly.” Read More »