Why yes, dear readers, that is indeed a grown man in a wizard cap waving a wand. And what exactly is that man doing with the wand? Turning on his TV, obvi.

Wait, wizards don’t wear ill fitting Dad jeans….

Of course! That guy’s not a wizard! He’s just a dorky old dude who’s so obsessed with Harry Potter that he purchased a $100 remote that looks like a wand so he could pretend he went to Hogwarts with Harry and the crew!!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you your one-way ticket to Loserville. It’s called the Kymera Wand and it works as a remote to your televisions, audio equipment, laptops, and lights. With just a flick of your wrist and a little “Expecto Patronum!” under your breath (and a few batteries/instructions to program it), you can do magic! Or, you know, turn things on and off.

It’s one thing for people to put on robes and scarves to go see the movies. It’s another for Quidditch to become a college sport. But this? For adults? To pretend they are wizards?

What. The. Eff.

The Good: The creative name. Come on, Candwich? Win. Oh, and the fact that they also managed to squeeze some dessert in there, too. I know no canned sandwich (?!?!) is complete without a Laffy Taffy follow-up.

The Bad: It’s a sandwich. In a can. And there are “meat” varieties.

The Question: WTF?!

Mmmm ogre load. That sounds delicious. And tangy.
Pause. Not.
Pause. Ew.

Uh. I beg to differ.

Oh, I see what’s happening here. Because fun little artwork is much cuter and classier than your giant crack hanging out of the top of your jeans. And it draws way less attention.

The fact that a product like this exists makes me question humanity. It’s the type of thing that would worry Tim Gunn and put Anna Wintour into a coma. Can’t we all just agree to nix the ill fitting jeans?

There was no name on the list, so she couldn’t get anyone in trouble. Instead, she did what any normal 21st century woman would do: she posted it online for the rest of the world to see and enjoy. As the original post states, there are a few pages missing, so we’re left to wonder about the other 15 types of bitches. But really, the list is pretty comprehensive as is so I can’t even fathom what bitches are missing.

Anyways, read and enjoy. Then tell us, what type of bitch are you? (Though if you’re a #60, you might want to keep that to yourself….and see a doctor.)

I don’t celebrate Easter, so I’m not 100% sure what the bunny is all about. But he’s not supposed to eat puppies and instill fear in children (and fully grown website editors) around the world, right? Because I’m scared. That bunny’s got crazy eyes.

[Photo courtesy of Buzzfeed]

I have no words. None. Honestly, I’ve been staring at this photo for 15 minutes and I can’t think of one thing to say.

Can someone try to explain this? And maybe give that kid on the left something to eat?

[Photo courtesy of AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com. Obviously.]

I don’t know about you, but I’d like to know what sort of place has to remind people that BJs are not accepted. No pictures? Fine. No smoking? I get it.

But oral sex?

This must be an Adam Lambert concert.

Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio have been trying to warn us for years, but the message has never been more clear:  Global Warming is going to screw us.