Avoid any social obligations with anyone, ever, because you are a busy girl and you need to relax.
"I'm 3. I know everything."
"Christ is watching."
...because being smart and being beautiful are definitely mutually exclusive, right?
Should have stopped while they were ahead...
"How you doin'?"
Furniture shopping is stressful.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer?
Maybe our invite got lost in the mail.
She even responded!
"I always put on exactly 18 towels after a shower."
Trust us, there are many.
"Good luck finding a job!"
No hookups required.
They're not wrong.
Just not the way he planned.
Seriously, they live the best lives.
Don't forget to wear green!
Let's just say she's giving into her cravings.
Pi day is for squares.
"Hell about to raise in your classroom boy."
The struggle is real.
Finally, someone is using their Photoshop powers for good.
He puts the stud in bible study.
"I brought you tacos."
WTF is wrong with people?!
Ever heard of faking it?