Funny - page 3

  • Morning After: Laptop Lemonade

    Morning After: Laptop Lemonade

    I consider myself a pretty honest person, I'm no Mother Theresa, but I don't lie, especially to authority figures and people I need things from. Back in my sophomore year, I didn't exactly live up to this creed and it came back to kick my butt. Hard.

  • The Worst Party Fouls

    The Worst Party Fouls

    PARTY FOUL! Don’t act like you haven’t heard it before. According to Urban Dictionary, it’s “something socially unacceptable done in a social gathering.” For those of us who have been in the presence of a party foul or may have accidentally committed one ourselves, we know that they’re much more than that.

  • Surviving Senior Year: Preparing for the End

    Surviving Senior Year: Preparing for the End

    So…I’m back, just a few days away from my very last semester of college ever. It’s a strange feeling, knowing that this is the last time I’ll buy my school supplies, search for cheap books online, write down all my assignments, and swear to keep it together this year.

  • Resolutions for the Annoying People in Your Life

    Resolutions for the Annoying People in Your Life

    It’s almost the big 20-11 and that means it’s time to make your list of New Year’s Resolutions. Or more importantly make resolutions for all the absolutely annoying people around you -- or should we say, resolutions to help you deal with them better. You know, so you don't strangle anyone this year.

  • Avoid Being a “Ho, Ho, Ho” This Holiday Season

    Avoid Being a “Ho, Ho, Ho” This Holiday Season

    It’s the most wonderful time of the year— except for the fact that you’re at the top of Santa’s Naughty List. Coal definitely isn’t something you put on your wish list this year but we both know you’ll be getting a lot of it. Luckily it’s not too late to trick Santa into thinking you walk around with a halo on top of your head. Here are some ways to redeem yourself.

  • Candy Dish: Who Are You Getting All Sexy For?

    Candy Dish: Who Are You Getting All Sexy For?

    • Do you dress to impress girls or guy? • 7 ways to save time in the morning • Here's why we love NYCWhy are guys so abrupt on the phone? • HAHAHA • So these are the worst parents everI'm happy Halloween is over

  • Maxim Says the Darndest Things: November Edition

    Maxim Says the Darndest Things: November Edition

    Unlike Brody Jenner, I was extremely depressed when I saw Avril Lavigne's trashy corset and horse-tail extensions smeared all over Maxim this month. Regardless, loyal to the man-mag and the bro-tastic insight inside, I snatched up the magazine. And that badboy was thick!

  • Friday Faves: Contacts You Love…and Don’t Remember

    Friday Faves: Contacts You Love…and Don’t Remember

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned in college, it’s that half of the contacts in my phone are people I don’t know. I may have known them for the length of a drink or a line outside my favorite bar, but memory fades with last call.

  • The Morning After: Happy Hour on Steroids

    The Morning After: Happy Hour on Steroids

    I’ve come to learn two fundamental truths this week: the happy hour does not exist, and breaking and entering is easier than it looks. I'm serious.

  • Friday Faves: Major In the Man-Hunt

    Friday Faves: Major In the Man-Hunt

    Your cell phone alarm is going off in your ear to the tune off She Bangs by Ricky Martin, inducing the hangover you worked so hard for last night (note to self: change to something MJ immediately). Your body pillow is the most obliging (and loyal) bed partner you’ve had in months, and the monsoon outside is actually starting to lull you back to sleep.

  • Friday Faves: Drunken Apologies. An Open Letter

    Friday Faves: Drunken Apologies. An Open Letter

    Dear Friends/Family/That Random Taxi Driver That Picked Me Up and Took Me Home After Finding Me Face First On The Sidewalk Sometimes I like to drink. A lot. And on those occasions I may or may not (okay, always) do stupid things. It is not me, you see; it is the alcohol.

  • The Morning After: Guess What I Just Lost!?

    The Morning After: Guess What I Just Lost!?

    I met Josh* one night in October and thought he was cute. He was tall, had dark hair and eyes, a nice body and dressed REALLY well. We met when I was pre-gaming in the dorm, so it wasn't like I ever knew him when I wasn't under the influence, and this tends to lead to bad decisions on my part. Very bad decisions.

  • Friday Faves: Looking at MYSELF Through Beer Goggles

    Friday Faves: Looking at MYSELF Through Beer Goggles

    While perusing (and by “perusing” I mean obsessively checking and re-checking) Facebook for the fourth time yesterday, I noticed that no one had done anything since the last time I logged in (an hour before). In a fit of never ending boredom that made signing off impossible, I decided to look at pictures of me.

  • The Morning After: Pop a Squat

    The Morning After: Pop a Squat

    While you're busy busting out A+'s and making new friends in college, it's always really nice to go home for a weekend. And that is especially true during your freshman year when home friends routinely have elaborate parties where people drunkenly reunite.

  • Photos You Never Wanted to See

    Photos You Never Wanted to See

    Much like my post dedicated to numerous images of celebrity camel toes, there are some pictures that sometimes you’d just rather not see. But you’ve gotta admit, sometimes curiosity gets the best of you and other times you just need a really great link to gross out your friends or, better yet, scare off that ex-hookup who’s been sending you one too many love e-mails a day.

  • American Patriotism Gone Horribly Wrong

    American Patriotism Gone Horribly Wrong

    It's unfortunate that a glorious holiday that is supposed to be about laying out on the beach, getting burnt, and winning hot dog eating contests has turned into something so ugly and so misunderstood. Sure the Fourth of July is a day to celebrate our independence as well as our American pride, but that doesn't mean that it's an excuse to desecrate the colors red, white, and blue in such a horrible fashion.

  • The Morning After: (Really) Public Displays of Affection

    The Morning After: (Really) Public Displays of Affection

    Last weekend I went to my friend's birthday at one of those exclusive NYC clubs where you can't get in if you're not on a list. My friends and I got decked out for a big night on the town, which meant I put on a really short dress, slipped on my big practically-unwalkable heels, and shaved my legs.

  • Candy Dish: Justin Bieber Mistaken for a Girl?

    Candy Dish: Justin Bieber Mistaken for a Girl?

    • ROTFL. Who thought Biebs was a GIRL? • Weird things abound in men's fashion. • Down goes Lady Gaga. Woops! • A few reasons dudes love the dirty talk. • Some people should not be allowed to procreate. • A guide to wearing seersucker properly.

  • Things I Hate [Video]

    Things I Hate [Video]

    I couldn't have said it better myself. Amen, brother.

  • Overheard: Things We Like to Do

    Overheard: Things We Like to Do

    (Girl, bringing a drink back to a table.) Guy: Whad'ya get? Girl: It's a gimlet. Guy: Oh. We usually freeze those. Or put them in the gravy.

  • The Morning After: Rebels Without a Cause

    The Morning After: Rebels Without a Cause

    It was one of the first warm nights in a long time and everyone on campus was throwing impromptu house parties. I knew I'd be walking all over campus, so I ditched my plans for a dress and heels and opted for jeans and flip flops instead. I met up with some of the girls in my sorority and we headed out to one of the many parties of the night.

  • The Morning After: The Booty-Call Bomber

    The Morning After: The Booty-Call Bomber

    My night began like most others: taking shots to the beat of some Lady Gaga song (gimme a break - it was last fall), followed by endless rounds of pong (and probably some trash talking about how I once made a behind-the-back shot). To say the least, my texting abilities slowly declined with each game, and soon my night went from “hey what’s good?” to “meet pu laterrrrrrr???”

  • Overheard: Human Sized Hamster Ball

    Overheard: Human Sized Hamster Ball

    (Two girls, walking) Girl 1: OK, we take this to the grave. Girl 2: Yeah, no one can find out. Girl 1: Kinda like the time I cried in the Lizzie McGuire movie. Girl 2: Or when you peed on Stacie's boot

  • Morning After: The Sneak

    Morning After: The Sneak

    So the dorm policy at our school is tighter than a drum, and at times, it seems as though the administration has figured out every possible way to keep us out of each other's dorms at 3 am. Luckily, for one dorm, a crafty little in-and-out maneuver has been devised called The Sneak. One night, I was (un)fortunate enough to get a glimpse of just how The Sneak works.

  • Overheard: Dry Heaves

    Overheard: Dry Heaves

    (Two girls, walking.) Girl 1: So how was last night? Girl 2: It was great. Craziest sex I've ever had.... But I'm worried. I think he might like me.

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