You can imagine why I had to hide this cover from my dad...

If I were to understand what guys need advice on via Maxim magazine, there would be three things; grilling, telling jokes, and this month, ‘what to do if you’re approached by a hot woman or a bear.”  Golf-clap to you Maxim – job well done.

I purchased my monthly edition of the saucy mag this month and was bombarded by articles about steaks and coal-fire grills. And all of the men out there listening? When approached by a bear, offer it food. But when approached by a woman? Offering it food ain’t such a good idea.

While reading it inside of a Glamour magazine to block the Maxim cover from my father, I came upon many other intriguing articles. One in particular went on a hateful rant about ‘Why Summer Sucks.’ I couldn’t believe someone could possibly be shunning summertime. Needless to say, I was intrigued and read on.  The number one summer complaint? Scantily clad females. Why? Because “they never talk to you and you have to stare at their minimum clothed bodies anyway.”  Does this man realize he is complaining about partially nude woman that never complain/whine/talk?!  That’s news to me, bud.

Other articles featured were ‘How to Cook in a Bachelor Pad Fridge,’ and ‘Oregon Trail 2.0′ (a Maxim atlas full of places to conduct the gnarliest of gnarly road trips).  One article even gave men advice about how to have a proper summer fling.  The article was pretty right on, not that summer flings are rocket science. Maxim was having a modest trip so far – I was even debating letting this mag sit on my family coffee table after its use.

And then a lovely little article birthed itself from the Maxim pages.  That’s right, we were lucky enough to be given an article titled, ‘The Maxim Porn Dictionary.’  This article defined many pornarific items anyone should be scared to admit they utilize. Beyond defining ‘pedal pumping,’ this article had a lot more to offer.  Like how to navigate and use the terms. This is going to be good weird. Read More »

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[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the wierdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus.  Join the Overheard revolution!  Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

Two guys, in the dining hall, sitting over empty plates:

“What are we doing tonight?”

“Dan’s probably going on a beer run. I think there are a few parties up at the apartments. I wanna get crunk.”

“Definitely, man. Gonna rock it.”

After a moment:

“We’re playing Magic tonight, aren’t we?”

“Yeah. Probably.”

Two girls at a party:

“It’s not ‘yes’. I’m drinking. It can’t be yes if I’m drinking.”

“Can you just say ‘yes’ now?”

“But I won’t be be able to say ‘no’ later.”

“You wouldn’t say ‘no’ anyway, would you?”

“No. No, I probably wouldn’t.”

Nearby, the boy with his arm around one girl looks terribly uncomfortable.

One frat boy, from across the library: “Burrito?”

Many frat boys, holding burritos: “BURRITO!”

“So, like, bondage?”

“No, no. How about this. We pretend the bed is a rocket ship, and that we’re all astronauts. And we can only talk with our short-wave radios. And every time we talk dirty, we have to say ‘over and out’.” Read More »