Apparently, a freaky kind of shrimp wins best eyesight award.

Yeah, that’s right–the little scamp(i)s have better vision than every other freaking animal in the world. Go fig.

My favorite line in the article is “Just why Gonodactylus smithii needs this level of rarefied vision is unclear, although the researchers suspect it is to do with food and sex.” Because, really, what doesn’t have to do with food and sex?

But the article really got me thinking. I mean, I have bad vision. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was three years old. I now wear contacts, but, frankly, my astigmatism keeps them from being completely effective. But I wear ‘em anyway, because I am Vainy McVainstein. (Not to be confused with Veiny McVeinstein, who is a much less pleasant character.) But, as usual, I digress.

Here are the top 5 things I wish I could see (and which I WOULD see if God loved me and had let me be born as a shrimp):

(5) Robert Downey Jr. in his most, ahem, intimate moments. Read More »

For all of the times we hoped and dreamed way-too-gorgeous runway models would just…get axed up and trot around on stage flashing war wounds on their not-so-perfect-anymore bodies, John Galliano, a seemingly post-apocalypse obsessed fashion designer, has just made those dreams come true in Paris.

The only problem with the execution of this odd fantasy is that the models were all male. Apparently, looking like you just got your ass kicked by whatever doom 2012 holds for the world isn’t a very IN look for the gals.

Some of Galliano’s designs were undeniably costumes–not anything any guy would ever wear…unless he’s battling something awful in Lord of The Rings. However, surprisingly, some of the jeans, shirts, and sweaters were actually not just OK, but pretty badass. Read More »

So there’s this evolutionary theorist in London who’s pretty sure that in about 100,000 years, the human race will be divided into Hot or Not.

Seriously.

According to Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics, by the year 3000, “the human race [will] peak”, and people will start to become much choosier about their partners, “causing humanity to divide into sub-species”.

“The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative” Curry insists, while the “underclass” will have “evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.”

Curry goes on to explain how women will look in the distant future, and while I’m sure his description is based in science, I can’t help but wonder if he’s not letting just a little bit of male fantasy slip into this description.

“Women…will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features”.

So basically, we’ll look like a combination of a hot robot and an Anime character. Read More »

Surprise!

Kids our age aren’t as downright angry at the world as everyone previously thought! We aren’t totally disaffected and kind of care about the world! AND we REALLY love our microwaves!

I haven’t quite decided if this MTV/AP poll that was just released is dead on about our generation (or the way 13-24 year olds think in general) or total bullshit. They only polled around 1,300 of us, making the margin percentage error about plus or minus 3%.

There are a bunch of different news articles that are using the survey to make a general consensus of what makes us happy… that are parents do and that money does not. But, after reading through the WHOLE thing, this is what I found most interesting:

Drinking makes us very happy, somewhat happy and neither happy nor unhappy…which means, we like to drink! (SURPRISE!)

Sports, sex and religion make us happy! So do our parents!

We are somewhat unhappy with the way things are going in the world. (Finally a generation that gives a somewhat of a shit about the world.)

We’d be happier if we had more money, like hanging out with small groups as opposed to large ones and aren’t really religious but believe in a higher power. We participate in school clubs and activities.

We believe that there are things we can control that contribute to our happiness.

But when asked how happy socializing online makes us, 2% of people gave the answer very unhappy. Uh, isn’t that something we can control? Read More »