So the fall semester is rolling round again. For you freshies that means the dreaded “Freshman 15.” For the rest of us it means the shame of gaining an undisclosed amount of weight even though we are supposed to be “adjusted” and know how to stay healthy while we’re away from home.

It’s not like we don’t know what is healthy and what isn’t – we do. And we all vow that the next year will be different – that we’ll stop getting seconds at the caf and drinking 6 nights a week – but then classes start, beer pong ensues and it all goes out the window right to our asses.

To most of us calories are just confusing; who the hell knows how many calories we actually consume on a daily basis. How much work we need to do in order to burn off dollar pitcher night.  How many calories we burn walking to the library? But those things definitely need to be figure out if we want to steer clear of the not-so-attractive muffin top.

So, I thought I’d break it all down in a way everyone could understand: comparing the things we love to eat to our daily activities.

There’s always going to be that day when you have two tests to study for and an essay to write, which means zero time to cook yourself a healthy meal. But perhaps those days will be a little further in between knowing that you’ll have to wash dishes for five hours the next day to burn it off:

Two Slices of Domino’s Cheese Pizza (540 calories)= 3 hours of vacuuming (which is probably 1,214 laps around that 10X12 box of yours)

One Order of “General Tso’s Chicken” From Your Favorite Chinese Place (844 calories)= 2 hours of running on the treadmill at the gym

One Grande Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte (330 calories)= 3 hours of taking notes in class

One Plain Bagel With Cream Cheese (436 calories)= 1 ½ hours of dancing at a party

One Bowl of Ramen Noodles (296 calories)= Walking around campus for an hour

One Subway 6” Philly Cheese Steak (520 calories)= 4 hours of doing laundry Read More »

Summer is almost here and, ideally, we should all be eating lots of fruits and vegetables and hitting the gym every day. But really, who wants to do all of that work? We’re too busy to focus on eating well. We don’t have enough money to buy healthier foods. Sugary cocktails are too good to pass up after a hard day. The list goes on and on.

The point is, in most situations, we will come up with any excuse possible for eating badly. I’ve seen it happen too many times to count, and I also definitely admit to coming up with some pretty lame excuses myself. So, I’ve compiled a list of the most commonly heard excuses. Maybe the next time you’re about to say one, you’ll think about this and make a healthier choice.

1. “Finals are coming up. I’m stressed. Chocolate makes me feel better.” Yes, finals and the end of the semester do cause a ridic amount of stress, and eating chocolate might ease the pain, but while you’re scarfing down that king-sized Snickers bar, consider this: you could possibly be causing yourself more stress. When finals are over, and you look in the mirror and see that you’ve gained about 10 pounds, you will definitely start stressing about wearing that cute new bikini. Don’t let the stress get to you – chew some gum instead. Read More »

Somehow you ended up with four 9am classes this semester. WTF? You can barely get up for your kickboxing class at noon on Fridays, and someone expects you to make it to class (ready to learn!?) by 8:50am the rest of the week?

Oh hell no.

You hope your professor doesn’t expect you to look presentable. Hell, he should just be happy you left yourself enough time to brush your teeth. Your morning routine is always the same: you roll out of bed at 8:30, grab the first pair of sweats you can find on the floor, throw your hair into a ponytail and run out of the house. You pop into the campus coffee shop en route to lecture and grab a coffee (“Giant, please!”) and something to munch on (“Give me the butteriest bagel you’ve got back there”).

What? It’s early and you need comfort.

You slide into your seat just as the Power Point appears on the wall in front of you. If it weren’t for the food, you’d probably fall right back to sleep; you’re just so comfortable. When class is over, you go to your next class, or to the library, or home for a nap. Whichever you choose, you sport the sweats for the rest of the day: through the classes, the breaks, the meals… Read More »

According to a recent study in the UK, the weight of a woman will fluctuate in stages over the course of her relationship.

I know what you are thinking: who needs a study to figure this out? I agree, ladies, and so do my fat jeans.

But while we all know how quickly we turn to ice cream when our BF breaks up with us, I don’t think anyone has really given much thought to the many stages of a college relationship and how they affect our bodies.

Mostly, by making us fat.

The following are typical gains and losses over the course of a rather tumultuous college relationship. Weigh in (haha) on what makes you fluctu-weight. (See what I did there? Yeah, I’m good.):

Lose 5 pounds when we first meet the man – after that one-nighter in the bathroom we want to make sure we are hot enough to keep him from doing that with anyone else.

Gain 5 pounds back when the boy starts sleeping over and we know he’s all ours.

Gain another 5 pounds (in cake) when we find out that man has indeed taken another girl to the bathroom our special place.

Lose 15 pounds due to too-depressed-to-eat syndrome/”Just wait until he sees me now!” Read More »

I was 14. My parents were getting a divorce. My father was also simultaneously dating a new woman. I was fighting with my brother all the time. So what did I do instead of properly dealing with my feelings? I internalized it and took it out on myself.

I was never a heavy person, but at 14, I was 5’8’’ and 160 lbs. Sounds big, I know, but I was a competitive swimmer and full of muscle. I used to eat whatever I wanted; I swam seven days a week so I had a good balance…I wasn’t heavy, but not stick thin, and I was happy with the way I looked. But when I abruptly quit swimming as a rebellion against my father, I realized that my eating of whatever I wanted had to come to a hault. I couldn’t snack on McDonalds Chicken Nuggets if I wasn’t spending two hours a day in a pool.

It started gradually…not sitting with my parents at the dinner table because I was upset, throwing lunches out that my mom made me at school, and making subtle attempts at lessening my food intake. Eventually, I narrowed it down to eating one single Pop-Tart or small sandwich a day…any single item with enough nutrients to get me through.

I also started stationary biking every day as a way to add exercise to my already starved body. I biked around 8 miles a day and did 400 crunches, so any food intake I did have was quickly wasted away by burning these calories. If I needed a boost to keep myself going, I’d pop a few sugar candies. Read More »