If you disagree with everything I just said, you probably don’t need this column. But if you’re nodding along because you’re officially an adult and still don’t know how to manage your money, then you might want to pay attention every week, because I’m going to (try to) get you through this, and make you a successful saver and a wise spender.]

I’ve been writing a lot about how to manage your money in bank accounts and with credit and debit cards. That’s the tricky stuff. As poor students, we are good at finding bargains and at least trying to make our money go a long way. That said, it’s easy to fall into certain traps when what we think is a good “deal” comes our way…and we end up paying dearly. Here are some scams to avoid in order to really save some dough.

1. Gym Memberships.

Beware of whatever type of deal a gym is trying to pitch to finagle you into joining. Why? Because they are probably lying. Okay, I’m bitter about this one. I needed to join a new gym at home for a couple of months, so I signed up for free guest passes at all the gyms in my area so I could work out for free and not buy anything. Next thing I knew, a Bally’s rep was selling me a special offer: $25 a month for a membership that I could transfer anywhere. He told me that if I got back to school and didn’t want to make the trek to the nearest Bally’s, I could freeze my membership for $4 a month, and when i started using their clubs again, I could continue to pay the dirt cheap fee.

The reality? Only the first transfer would be free, so I’d be paying in the future for every new Bally’s I tried to switch to; the “freeze” thing didn’t exist, and I was forced to pay the monthly fee even though I wasn’t working out; I’m stuck in a year contract, and now I have an express hatred for Bally Total Fitness Clubs. Needless to say: gyms are definitely places to read the fine print.

2. Anything That’s “Buy More and Save.”

Ultimately, you’re going to spend more money on things you don’t need. Shopping for a tank top and got suckered in by a “Buy nine and get one free” deal? Sure, you got a free top out of it, but you had to pay for NINE to get there. Even BOGO can sucker punch you, because if you think about it, you’re still spending 25% more than you initially hoped to spend. If you wanted a $20 pair of heels from Payless, and buy a second $20 pair just for the bargain, you’re still only saving $10, but spending $10 more than you wanted to. It’s a “is the glass half-full or half-empty” type of scenario.

3. Those Crazy “8 CDs for a Penny Each” Companies

This one might be outdated, now that we have iTunes and millions of way to pirate music off the internet. But with Christmas just around the corner, you might think you can do all of your holiday shopping for 8 cents. Of course, once you’ve collected your next-to-free discs, you’re going to have to pay full price plus shipping and handling for like eight more CD’s over the next year. When you forget about it because you’re busy sharing music with your roommate, you’ll get slapped with a bill for the cost of those CDs… you know, the ones you never actually bought but still have to pay for.

4. Top Shelf Booze.

If you’re a real liquor connoisseur, then you probably don’t need to read these articles, because you can afford $10 and up for a shot of Cabo Wabo or Grey Goose. But if you’re like the rest of the Keystone-chugging collegiate world, you know that you’ll sacrifice quality for quantity. Of course, your food and beverage servers want your tab to be higher so that you’ll tip them more. If they ask if you want top shelf, say no. In a few drinks you’ll be so drunk you don’t even know what you’re tasting. If they don’t ask, specify house. If house wine is $5 a glass and you just order a Chardonnay, the waitress can always bring you the $9 glass and say “Oh, it’s our featured wine, I thought you’d like it.” To put things in perspective: If you buy 3 glasses of $9 wine, it’s $27, and you should be tipping about $5. If you buy 3 glasses of $5 house wine, however, it’s only $15, you tip 3, and you save over $10- which could buy you a bottle at the liquor store.

5. Gas at Gas Stations Right Off the Highway.

Everyone knows the prices are jacked up. It’s because if you’re roadtripping and on empty, you’ll pull over, no matter what the cost. An easy solution? Fill up your tank whenever you pass a station with a good deal. The way gas prices fluctuate these days, you’ll save a fortune. And you’ll never go below half a tank, so you’ll get better mileage per gallon, and avoid having to get ripped off in times of need. Besides, you’ll be spending gas money in smaller intervals, rather than $50 or more in one stop to fill your whole tank.

When I moved to college, the first thing I did after unpacking my shower caddy and twin extra long sheets was buy a parking spot. I had to have my car. Had to. It gets cold in Colorado, obviously, so walking all over campus in the winter was not an option. Plus, I got so used to having a car for errands, Costco runs, etc., that I just couldn’t bear to be without one.

I am sure most students feel the same way, especially since I can never find anywhere to park on campus these days. Ugh. Why do I even have a car if I can’t use it to drive to class?!

But I digress.

All of this campus street congestion that is no doubt a problem on college campuses nationwide has led many schools to start a revolution…with bikes.

The University of New England is one of a few schools (that will soon be many) that is offering free bikes to any student who leaves their car at home. Other schools are setting up bike share programs, which entice students to pedal around campus instead of hopping in the car. These schools are hoping that by giving students a real alternative, they will not feel the need to bring their car to campus.

And it looks like it’s all working – for more than just the parking sitch:

“We did it as a means of reducing the need for parking, but as we looked at it from the standpoint of fitness, health and sustainability, we realized we have the opportunity to create a change.”

The whole idea is really quite smart. By opting for a bike instead of a car you could help the environment, save money on parking (and parking tickets…), get healthy, and free up some of those parking spots for the rest of us reduce the number of cars clogging your campus streets. And all for free!

This looks like a total win/win.

So you’re going through recruitment! You’re excited, nervous, anxious and you can’t stop trying on your new wardrobe for the week and having pretend conversations with yourself in your mirror.

Oh…that was just me.

Whatever your feelings are towards the process of Greek recruitment, uncertainty is almost bound to be one of them. Your recruitment staff will help guide you through this tumultuous week (I say tumultuous only because I go to a school with an ENORMOUS and therefore competitive sorority recruitment period). Your Mom will be there to listen to how your days were. Your boyfriend will be absolutely baffled by the entire process so don’t count on much more than foot rubs. All these people all well and good, but who can you talk to about what’s really pressing you? How do you carry on a conversation with a complete stranger for 20 minutes?

Never fear lovely potential new members, I’ve got your back on what to say (and what definitely NOT to say). A simple Rule of Thumb is to Avoid (at all costs) the 5 B’s.

5. Boys.

Don’t talk about your boyfriend. You don’t want to be that obnoxious girl who only has one interest: her Snuggle McWonderful Honey Bear. Do not go on for hours about your last date night, his favorite foods or colors, or what the names of your future children are if you are seeking an invitation back to that house.

Do NOT name drop the names of your all time favorite Frat Boys. It may seem impressive to you that you can name all the older guys at XYZ house, but to the woman rushing you it might come off as desperate or weird. Some of the boys will most likely be her friends, and you don’t want any of your indiscretions from your wild Freshman Summer coming back to haunt you. Even worse, she may have dated any one of said studs and it might irk her to learn that her ex-boo has been gettin’ jiggy with the freshmen population. Just don’t talk about boys. This week is about sisterhood and finding the right house for you…not the men in your life.

4. Booze

If you are going through Panhellenic recruitment, chances are whatever house you’re at has it written in their bylaws that drinking is FORBIDDEN. These women work hard to portray and maintain a classy reputation for their chapters and don’t want to hear about your still-drunk walk of shame that morning. They are not looking for a new party-partner (despite what you may have heard). They’re looking for a girl to call their sister no matter what day of the week and no matter how much Franzia is involved.

Of course a poppin’ social life is a major perk of being Greek, but those good times are about bonding with your sisters, not Jack Daniels. If your social life is a top priority and you want a sisterhood that will support your partying endeavors, feel free to make it known. Just make the focus of your conversation about the girls you want at your side while you scream Journey into the mic, and not about drinking. So ticking off your top 5 favorite mixer themes = way cool…counting down your top 50 favorite mixers with vodka, not so much.

3. Bush.

Politics, in general, actually. OF COURSE this is on everyone’s mind at present time, and we all know elections are in 2 months. But you just met this girl. Do not delve into hot button issues, no matter how important they are to you; they’re probably just as important to her, but she might just be at the complete opposite end of the spectrum of ideals. Save yourself and incredibly awkward aftermath and do not bring up Global Warming or Roe v. Wade.

Stick to “polite conversation” that you would feel comfortable having in a job or college interview. When you find your new home at the end of the week, rally up the sisters that share your mindset (whatever it may be) to go petition, campaign or protest. Politically active girls belong to all the different houses, and will be open about their beliefs at a more appropriate time–follow that lead.

2. Beliefs.

Again, this is a cornerstone of everyone’s life so of course it will be reflected in the way you behave and present yourself. I’m not saying to pretend to be something you’re not (never ever do this! No matter how badly you want to be a part of the house, if you don’t fit in as your own badass-self, you do NOT belong there!) or to lie about your religious affiliation or extracurricular activities.

If you were a Youth Group Leader at your Church or Temple, awesome. Tell your girl alll about your interests, activities and passions. Do not instigate an uncomfortable, disrespectful or rude debate about your personal beliefs (which may be incredibly similar or WAY different from hers.)

1. Bucks.

Talking about money is tacky. Asking people how much they earn, while it has grown more acceptable in our need to know everything generation, is still considered bad manners in a casual social setting. Talk about your job if you love it (or hate it, I’ve heard some funny stories), don’t talk about how much you make. Feel free to gripe about gas price (she’ll commiserate), just don’t detail its impact on your bank account. And definitely divulge your favorite places to get f-ing AWESOME clothes for ridiculously cheap (she’ll feel you on this one).

Don’t try to talk your family or yourself up like a Rockefeller; you’ll either seem snobbish and intimidating to the poor girl rushing you, or she’ll be secretly laughing at you because she’s like…a legit Rockefeller (it happens). If you feel the need to bring up financial issues because you really and truly want to be Greek but aren’t sure how you’ll manage dues, bring this up when the woman talking to you explains her chapter’s financial requirements (there’s usually a designated day for this) so you can discuss payment options, scholarships, and installment plans.

It may seem like eliminating these topics will skim much of your personality away too, but think of the first parties you attend through recruitment as casual conversations with any other random stranger. You want them to have a positive opinion of you (not your boyfriend) that won’t be negated by any of your–ahem– lesser virtues.

And if the conversation seems shallow at first, remember: you just met this girl. You both have been having the same conversation over and over again throughout the day (major, hometown, high school activities). But as recruitment continues and you find yourself returning to the houses where you really felt at home, you’ll feel your conversations become genuine and you’ll be able to better evaluate where you truly belong.

[photo from www.udel.edu]

Christian Bale was merely defending his wife? Awwwww!

Wanna work in politics? Just have an affair!

Sick of Facebook yet? Yeah, me either. But it just got even better.

Viagra may work for women?

Apparently, some dudes agreed that women in skinny jeans could not be raped because removing them would require consent? Yeah…took awhile, but that’s been reversed.

The Jo-Bros are probably pissing off a lot of Dallas homeowners right now….

Porta-Potty art! (Doesn’t make the smell go away, though.)

Earth-friendly junk mail? Hot granny panties? Declining gas prices? Impossible!

An old favorite to get you through the day. Weeeeeeeeeee!

Because 2008 isn’t just the summer of expensive corn and Obama-rama, it’s also the summer of TMI. Over-sharing has become a form of communication for our generation; from blogging about bad dates, to blogging about our self-indulgent issues, to blogging purely to become famous. No matter who we are, we can become stars overnight by uploading naked photos, name-dropping about a wild party, or simply having an ounce of literary ability and a snarky way with words.

By late July, 2008, the percent of people in the US who haven’t seen a celebrity vajayjay flash or heard someone say, “dude, I’m gonna blog about this!” is monumentally small, and it seems like every day a new gossip or 24 hour news site pops up. However, amidst the clattering of fingers on keyboards and snapping of flashbulbs, I can’t help but wonder if this constant need to be seen and heard is actually doing us any good.

Is all this over-sharing about our drug, drink, and sexual exploits really helping women cultivate a strong, intelligent persona? Do we feel more empowered now that Britney, Lindsay, and Paris have made trashy the new black? Are our lives more complete now that we know what David Beckham had for breakfast?

These aren’t rhetorical questions. As a twenty-something myself, I really want to know:

In this age of over-sharing, are you confident about yourself and your image? Are you proud of how we as women have represented ourselves in the media?

Vote in our poll, and write in our comments — this is your chance to tell the world exactly how you feel.

According to the always lovable and informative New York Times, the numbers of students enrolling in online college courses — so they won’t have to spend all their extra dolla dolla bills driving to and from campus — has drastically increased.

“The vast majority of the nation’s 15 million college students — at least 79 percent — live off campus, and with gas prices above $4 a gallon, many are seeking to cut commuting costs by studying online” claims the article, which goes on to say that certain colleges are experiencing a 50 to 100% increase in enrollment for their online courses.

As if plunking ourselves down in front of a computer (where there’s every distraction from bad reality TV to that f*cking amazing turkey sandwich waiting for you in the fridge) in an attempt to learn wasn’t spelling enough trouble for our education, certain people (like the president of Brevard Community College, as interviewed by the NYT) fear that our sh*tty economy, combined with the price of gas, might cause certain college students to drop out of school completely.

I mean, I’ve had about enough of this gas ridiculousness. I know my rage isn’t going to change anything, but maybe if enough of us stop ignoring our anger and frustration and start telling our leaders that this bullsh*t has got to stop…maybe something will happen? Speculation should not be able to control whether or not my generation goes to college.

[Is today's economy scaring you when it comes to tuition? Let us know...]

Diablo Cody: She stripped…and no one wants to forget that

Gas has almost doubled in a year. I smell the fumes of a conspiracy…

Blohan is poor and boring.

The Pentagon wanted Guantanamo Bay interrogation notes destroyed. Conspiracy #2?

Rupert Everett isn’t a fan of America. That’s okay. I can’t remember ever being a fan of him.

The dreaded College Wait List just got more confusing.

Midwesterners are drenched. But if you live there…your basement has already told you this.

Man, do I love the Golden Girls

This is pretty much the scariest picture that has ever been burned into my rentas

For my own sanity, I find it necessary to pay as little attention to finances as possible. Money was always at the core of the stress in my family growing up and to combat that irrationally frugal gene in me, I try to swing as far into the ever-indulging and financially irresponsible realm as possible. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t noticed.

The recession HAS affected me. I lost my steady job two months ago. While it was disgustingly easy for me to find new jobs to replace that job, I was still a bit shaken. The supposed millionaires I once relied on for my income no longer could afford me…or most of their staff, for that matter. It seems as though the recession affected them, too, and their ability to buy their dog $30 steaks for lunch (I wish I were kidding about that one).

So I found other jobs and kept on trucking. Metaphorically, of course. If I were actually trucking these days, I’d be even poorer.

Luckily, I live in New York City and my father is correct: I don’t need to drive. But gas prices are so exceptionally high these days that even I, the last person on earth who needs to care about such things, stops to glance at the always escalating prices at the Exxon station as I walk to the grocery store.

Ah, the grocery store: the marketplace that broadcasts the recession’s affect on me most boldly. My Kashi granola bars cost more now. Meat costs more. Strawberries. Rice. Bread. Cheese. And peanut butter, oh…peanut butter.

As an artist, I’ve always had to go out of my way to make sure my expenses are covered. After all, the recession certainly hasn’t done the already dwindling music business any favors. While I’m not even considering revisiting my college years with Ramen Noodles, I have noticed the difference the recession has made. Thankfully, I don’t have anyone to provide for other than myself — so this difference has not been tragic.

But will it become tragic? (Tragedy: $5 Skippy Reduced Fat Peanut Butter)