When you read the headline “Adele Shows Off Weight Loss After Throat Surgery,” do you do a double-take? Because, really, what do throat surgery and major weight loss have in common? As far as I can tell, not much. However, after looking through photos of Adele’s post-surgery self, it’s clear to see there’s…uh…less of her. Personally, I’m left wondering what kind of surgery she really had.

Before everyone goes off on me, I want to say two things. First, I love Adele. Truly, wholly, undeniably. She is wonderful. Second, I’m not placing judgment on her weight. Regardless of if she’s 20 lbs heavier or lighter, she is still a wildly talented individual with fierce hair. What I do want to talk about is why people are making it seem like this throat surgery (“throat surgery”) would have anything to do with her somewhat-significant weight loss.

Am I the only one left thinking some serious shenanigans are afoot? Like gastric bypass? Or some crazy dieting? Sound off in the comments below and help me wrap my head around this phenomenon.

And in other blatantly obvious news, Lindsay Lohan has a drug problem and I have to beat men off with a stick.

Since when do we care about Star Jones?

She hasn’t been on The View in years, and even when she was she was most definitely hated. Okay, maybe not hated…but surely the butt of many a joke. And it was well-deserved!

The woman sold out her own wedding for goodness sakes! Tacky, Star…just tacky.

When is she going to admit her career is over? Or that she looks better with a few extra pounds? Or that she’s a selfish money-hungry pseudo-celebrity?

Or…and this will be a shocker…her husband is gay?

Just sayin’.

Some stars have ventured far beyond public eating disorders, even taking to plastic surgery to have photos permanently taken in the best possible light. Ashley Simpson, Kathy Griffin, Courtney Love, and even Howard Stern have confessed to going under the knife. Popular shows like Dr. 90210, Nip/Tuck, and MTV’s I Want A Famous Face thrive on graphically depicting the realities and results of augmentation. It seems that more than ever surgery has become an accepted solution to an epidemic of insecurity. Is it because of new innovations and advancements or has it become this seasons hottest new trend?

In 2005 11.5 million cosmetic surgical and non-surgical procedures were performed in the United States. Botox is of course the most popular, while liposuction is also frequently requested. Since 1997 the overall number of procedures has increased 444%. While our visions of plastic surgery were allotted to extremists like Joan Rivers or Pamela Anderson the more subtle and significant changes were slowly becoming more trendy than a Fendi purse. Once a taboo subject for those in the limelight to deny, society now applauds their new plastic look.

Star Jones, Sharon Obsourne, Carnie Willson, Al Roker and Rosanne are all among the celebs that have opted for gastric bypass surgery. A procedure considered to be a miracle for those overweight, the results convey that even with this expensive alternative to diet and exercise you must still diet and exercise. Carnie Wilson most recently appeared on VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club to drop further pounds and Rosanne joked in this years stand up Comedy Special; Blonde and Bitchin that she was a medical marvel after shrinking her stomach down to the size of a walnut, and still managing to be overweight. Some stars still opt for denial. Hilary Duff was recently mocked for Veneers that were too large claiming to have chipped her teeth on a microphone. Cameron Diaz excused her last nose job as repair work for a surfing accident, and speculation on the breasts of Britney Spears, Demi Moore, Mariah Carey, and Christina Aguillera has made public augmentation a cultural phenomenon. While the visible scars of Tara Reid, Michael Douglas, and post pregnant and tummy tucked Spears have graced the pages of tabloids around the world, the list of the elite stars buying into surgical trends is expanding by the minute.

The pursuit of impossible beauty is however nothing new. Since the 1800’s women have been wearing constricting corsets and girdles to reduce waist size and give the illusion of an hourglass figure. Innovations have now made it possible to turn these illusions into a reality. Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley even went under the knife before advancements in anesthesia.

Recently a friend of mine underwent breast augmentation and seems to be waltzing through recovery. Two small healing incisions with minor bruising are now fading just two weeks later as she waits for the implants to settle and lower. The surgery in her opinion was much less invasive and less painful then anticipated and with the assistance of pharmaceuticals she was up and running within days. Feeling that after years of considering her options and alternatives, augmentation was the best option for her she couldn’t be more pleased with the results. Though acknowledging that society’s acceptance of cosmetic surgery may have had an effect on her decision she feels that it is a personal choice and should not be taken lightly or as a means to participate in a cultural trend.

While almost three million people a year are smiling under their botox and 40 percent of all teens want plastic surgery. 331,000 teenagers have actually perused it proving that both young and old patients are contributing to the yearly climbing statistics. Leaving those un-molded wondering where the American standard of beauty will be in ten years time. The next time you see what is publicly personified as perfection walking down a red carpet near you remember the profound tagline to 1999’s film American Beauty; “Look Closer”.

Theresa Bennett